Disclaimer: Please, take my word for it. I own nothing.

A/N: You guys are great! I just wanted to say a big thanks to all the reviewers out there. It's always great to hear from you. And also a thanks to everyone who has added my to their fav stories or (gasp!) fav authors! Thank you for the confidence boosts guys! All that being said, just a little heads up here... This chapter is pure angst. There's no fluff to be had here today, sorry. :o(

Enjoy!!

Chapter 14: Hollow Man

EPOV

I have to struggle to open my eyes. So, I don't because the exhaustion is weighing so heavily on me. After a few steady breaths, I roll over to my back and groan but it's weak and lacks any real conviction. The sun is pouring in from a nearby window and the light on my face demands me to open my eyes. It's less of a struggle this time.

I look around and take in my surroundings. Bile rises in the back of my throat as I see the modern décor of the hotel room and it all comes back to me. Each memory crashes over me like an unrelenting surf. The loneliness. The envy. Fleeing Chicago. The Grand. Jasper. The portrait. The obsession. The days of research. Esme and the music box. The talk with Dr. Cullen. The coin shops and the tailor. The hypnosis. Bella under the willow tree. Bella dancing within the circle of my arms. Bella on stage. Bella's smile. Bella's blush. Bella's kiss. Bella's touch. Bella's soulful eyes. Bella's whispered 'I love you's. Bella's sheer panic as she called out to me that last time. Bella's pain.

Bella.

My Bella.

Just a day ago we fell in love, so deep, so pure. Just an hour ago she was writhing under me and calling my name as I rocked into her again and again. Just minutes ago she giggled and popped a grape into my mouth. I can still taste it. And now she is gone. We didn't have enough time.

Time.

She doesn't exist in this time. She died years ago. She died? The overwhelming grief comes swiftly. She's dead. My Bella is gone. I clearly remember the night she… passed . I remember the pain and grief and loneliness I saw in her watery eyes when she pressed my watch into the palm of my hand. I remember the desperation in her soft voice when she begged me to find her. I didn't understand any of it then. I couldn't comprehend why her unshed tears and desperate plea haunted me. I was lost to her decades ago. How it must have hurt her to see me again after all that time while she knew everything and I knew nothing. I understand her anguish now. My heart aches so much for Bella. I have to get back to her.

With a great deal of effort, I pull myself up off of the floor with shaky limbs. Leaning heavily against the wall I make my way to the door and, as quickly as I can, I leave the modern space. I vaguely notice that the room was vacant this time, not that it matters. None of it matters. I have to get back to her.

I half stagger, half run to my room in this time and push myself through the door, thankful that I had left it unlocked. The room is still stripped of its modern pieces, the closet is still packed full of things like the wall art, television, phone and minibar. I fling myself on the bed and try to focus. I ignore the cold sweat that has my clothes clinging to my skin. I ignore the acrid taste in my mouth that is slowly replacing the sweetness of Bella's grape. I ignore the trembling of my body that is more fatigued that I have ever felt it. I ignore it all. None of it matters. I have to get back to her.

I feel the bed move erratically beneath me. I realize now that I am sobbing. I close my eyes tightly and try to speak, try to repeat the date I left Bella again and again through my pain, willing myself back to her. I know what I need to do but I can't focus. The pain of losing her has left me too raw to concentrate. I'll never get back to her like this. I ball my fists tightly and press them to my eyes. That's when I feel it, small and warm and hard in the palm of my hand. I open my clenched fist to see the tailor's shiny penny mocking me.

The small coin has almost no value yet it has cost me so much.

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Time has little meaning for me now. Like a ghost, I haunt the hotel. This place is the only link I have to her and so I can't bear even the thought of leaving. I think I avoid everyone. I think I eat and shower and sleep. I think I took breakfast in my room once. I remember taking the lid off the breakfast tray. The pain burned through my chest so sudden at the sight of grapes on the plate. I was traumatized by grapes. I'd laugh if I could. I'm not really sure what's going on outside my room anymore. I can't think about all that right now. I can only think of her.

It's been days, maybe weeks since I was with her. Countless times, I have tried to go back but I can't will it to happen. The pain and shock of losing her is too close to the surface. I can't push it aside and focus like I so desperately need to. The panic I feel when I can't bring myself to concentrate only intensifies the grief. It's a vicious cycle.

I spend my nights in the tiny museum worshiping her photo silently. I had that once. That look. That smile. It was for me. Mine. I reach out and run my fingertips across the soft slopping curve of her collar bone. The cold glass torments me. I am so close to her but I can never reach her. The glass blocks my touch like my grief blocks my mind. She is so close but so very far away. I lay my forehead against the cool glass and my hands reach up to clutch at the wall. I just want to melt through the barrier that separates us and hold her in my arms again.

The hotel is stirring now. It's the beginning of a new day. Yet another day without Bella. I return to my room and drag the chair over to the window. I'm going to just sit here now. I will watch the sun rise over the lake. I can clearly see Bella's willow tree before me with its branches gently swaying in the light breeze coming off the water. It calms me. I will sit here and watch and remember. Then I will be calm enough to go back to her. Then I will be able to concentrate. I'll just watch and remember until I am at peace enough to make it happen again.

I remember everything. Every tiny detail of my time with Bella. Her profile as she looked over the lake, lost in thought, when I saw her the first time. The way the branches hung down swaying behind her as the breeze played with her skirt and the soft wisps of hair that framed her face. I remember Bella sitting in the rowboat, the light reflected from the water dancing on her blushing face as she smiled while I hummed her lullaby for her. I remember the softness of her lips as she responded to my kiss, her fingers combing in my hair, twisting and tugging, holding me to her. I remember Bella's moans and gasps as I mapped the hills and valleys of her body with my intrepid fingers. Her memory is all I have left of her so I will just sit here and watch the sunrise over Bella's willow. I'll just sit here and remember her. Her scent. Her blush. Her walk. Her laugh.

Her.

A/N: R&R!!!! So, I thought this was going to be a nice flully romance when I started... not turning out that way, is it? Please let me know what you think of the angst. Is it too much? Edward's in a bad place right now but I don't want him coming off as a melodramatic drama queen. He's pretty emo now, isn't he? Who wants to give Edward a hug? You know the poor guy needs it after all that. I'll have the next chapter posted on or by Sunday so keep a look out for it. :o)