Holding Onto Hope
By wanna-be-bold
Here is part one of the chapter that many of you have been waiting for!
Ch 7
Per the request of father and daughter, the little family spent the rest of the day watching movies, only pausing to make lunch then, bringing it back to eat in front of the TV. Throughout the day, Ziva couldn't help but watch Tony and Tikva out of the corner of her eye, grateful that they were getting the chance to bond. As the hours, and the movies, passed by, so had the space between Tony and their daughter. Tikva had started out the day sitting in the middle of her parents and now she was curled up against Tony's side. When the credits of their current movie rolled, Ziva noticed her daughter nodding off and realized then that she had missed her nap time today.
"Tony." She whispered over Tikva's head, careful not to wake her.
Hearing Ziva's voice, Tony turned his head towards her, then noticed the sleeping little girl against his arm.
"I think we wore her out."
"This is the first time we have ever watched movies through her naptime. To be honest I am surprised she lasted this long." It was now nearing 7:00 pm and Ziva decided it would be best to put Tikva down for the night and make dinner. "I think I will go put her down and then I can make something for dinner if you would like."
"Ziva, you've made breakfast AND lunch today. You don't have to do all of the cooking."
"I know I do not have to but I want to. I want to do something nice for you Tony. Plus it, it gives me a sense of normalcy."
"Well okay then. I won't try to stop you anymore."
"Thank you. Now if you will excuse me, I will just go put Tikva in her crib and I will start dinner." Ziva goes to wake up Tikva to carry her to her crib when she latches on to Tony's arm. "Nesicha, it is time to go to bed." She still doesn't respond so Tony offers to carry her into the bedroom so they can lay her down together. He gently picks Tikva up, trying not to wake her, and starts for his room. Halfway to the bedroom, Tikva stirs and looks lovingly up at Tony.
"Dada?" She says questioningly before falling back to sleep.
Tony's eyes fill with tears and a smile breaks out across his face after hearing Tikva call him dad. He continues into the bedroom and gives Tikva a kiss on the forehead before laying her in her crib. "Goodnight baby girl, daddy loves you." The tears were evident in his voice as Ziva gently laid a hand on his forearm. She whispered her own goodnight to Tikva before leading him out into the living room. Still in a daze, Tony walks straight to the couch and plops down.
"She said dad. I can't believe she called me dada. After last night I thought it would take her a lot longer to say it."
"It is wonderful feeling, yes? Hearing her call your name for the first time."
"The best. Is this how you felt when she first said mom?"
"I was a lot more emotional but, yes, it was. It was one of my happiest and proudest moments as a parent."
"I can see why. I don't have a year of parenting moments like you but uh, this is definitely my best moment so far."
Ziva took his words as a personal jab and looks down, ashamed. "Tony I know you are still upset about my staying away. I cannot tell you enough how sorry I am."
"You can't tell me how sorry you are? Ziva you were gone for two years! Two years! You were pregnant with my child and I never knew it! You gave birth to her by yourself! I missed a year of my daughter's life! Her first steps, first words, first birthday, all of the firsts that I should have been there for!" Tony's voice became more agitated as the words came out. He was doing his best to keep his volume under control since there was a sleeping one-year old in the next room. "I know when I left you said you wanted to find peace within yourself and reconcile everything that you've done, but why did it take you two years to come back? You could have at least called! 'Oh hey Tony, I know I stayed in Israel but I'm pregnant with your child, just thought you should know.' Did I not deserve that?!"
Ziva had looked up at him halfway through his tirade and chose now to speak up. "You did deserve that Tony!" Ziva's voice came out as a chocked sob. "I know you deserved that and I wanted to tell you. There were many times I found myself wondering what would happen if I just called you and told you that I was pregnant; or what you would say if I flew over here and showed up at your doorstep. Do you know how much I dreamed of hearing myself tell you that we were having a baby? Or how many times I could not sleep because I pictured the three of us as a family here in DC? It was so very difficult to stay away but I told you, I had to! They made us stay away!"
"Really? Who? Who made you stay away?!"
"Anton Pavlenko!"