"Ahem," A-Ko said over her shoulder. "Come on, you two. Save the romance for when you get home. Besides, C-Ko, you forgot about your watercress and kale."
"Yeah, that's right. Where are they at?"
"Where Leroy is, near the tomatoes." She spied him, micro-cassette recorder in hand, interviewing the produce manager.
"Is there anything here in this section, sir, that isn't genetically engineered?"
"The herbs come to mind, as do the coconuts, cashews, and other nuts."
"So other than them, every single other fruit and vegetable is engineered?"
"That's correct, sir," he said, bursting with glee. "All grown under Intelli-Plant. It's been years and years of experimenting and growing the results, but it has been worth it. DAGGR is positive that consumers will flock to this store, and its offspring, in part due to success with this style of produce."
"I have one more question, if I may."
"Go ahead. YIKES!" The manager's eyes bulged as eight ruby-red tomatoes defied gravity, swirling in circles around Leroy's head and hat. The American, perturbed, folded his arms.
"Why are these tomatoes twirlin' round my head? Hmmmmm?"
"Ahhhh, well - mmmmm - maybe it - it could - be some - latent - psychokinetic powers that are - well - manifesting themselves now. Maybe."
"Really?" he replied, tapping his foot. "Or perhaps these things have lost their minds, and now see themselves as planets? And my head as a sun 'round which they orbit to receive light? Or they now think they're protons and neutrons in some atomic model, and I happen to be the nucleus?"
"Well, it's possible," the produce manager said, wiping his head with a handkerchief. "After all, this IS Graviton City."
"The last time I checked, sir, the mayor didn't declare the city a 'reality-free zone.' Lady, watch out for that cantaloupe, please." The manager turned to see a full-figured woman duck under a bin of radishes, hiding from a cantaloupe tumbling two feet above the floor. It was trailed by a row of garlic bulbs.
"Leroy," A-Ko shouted, her face pale with shock. "What's happening? What's going on here?"
"I'm in the process of figuring that out, dear. Where's Ippei?"
"Over here by the romaine lettuce," he bellowed, micro-video camera to his eye. "And they're doing the hula." Each head of lettuce was flipped upside-down, the purplish leaves waving side-to-side as if they were grass skirts.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" C-Ko cried. "A-ko-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"
"What's wrong, C-Ko?"
"Those potatoes are making eyes at me!"
A-Ko shook her head as she walked toward her friend. "C-Ko, that is the worst, the WORST joke you've ever told in your life."
"Who said I was joking? Look!"
A-Ko gazed at the potatoes and saw the white 'eyes' sprout out into eyeballs of blue, grey, green, and hazel. She grabbed C-Ko from behind and dragged her away from the bin. The Princess let out a long, loud whine, grating against A-Ko's ears like a siren. The tomatoes around Leroy's head shot away from him into the air.
The customers bounded toward the bread section bordering the produce, knocking the produce manager against the bulkie rolls. They were glued to the produce, now swirling in mid-air, streams of mangoes and papayas and rutabagas and okra melding into the gyrating mass. Ippei kept his camera on the spectacle, while Leroy stood in front of the crowd, arms outspread to hold them back. C-Ko's whine got louder as she shook with terror.
The mass coalesced, solidified, and took the form of a giant body, hitting the floor with a thundering slam. The impact knocked the loaves off their shelves, hitting everyone on their heads. C-Ko screeched, holding her head in agony at the sight.
The cauliflower brains pulsed with new life. The potato eyeballs clustered into upper and lower groups, separated by eye color. The zucchini snout held the longer-variety carrots, now razor-sharp fangs, drooling with onion and garlic juice. Butternut squashes were the neck, cabbages the shoulders. Turnips and parsnips made the arms, rhubarb and celery were the legs, and cantaloupes the joints. Apples, peaches, and pears made up the back and spine, with lemons, limes and oranges becoming the torso and buttocks. Pumpkin ankles linked with cucumber feet. Tomatoes, cherries, and strawberries formed the chest, displaying bananas in the shape of the Hammer and Sickle of Communism.
"Run, A-Ko, Run!" the Princess cried, diving to the floor.
"You freaks!" it said with a gravelly roar. The crowd gasped and screamed. "Foul enemies of the photosynthetic proletariat! Heartless murderers of innocent fruits and vegetables! You dare to call yourselves civilized beings, when you kill harmless trees, and burn their corpses for heat? Then eat their young for sustenance? You filthy bourgeois barbarians! Your nightmare of plant-eating tyranny is at an end!"
It spread its arms wide, breathed deep and loud.
"REVOLUTION FOR PLANT LIBERATION BEGINS HERE! NOW!"
The customers in the rear aisles answered with their own screams.
"You scream in vain, beasts," it taunted, grasping the empty bins in its clutches. It threw them toward the voices, each bin clanging in every aisle. A cluster of eyes spied C-Ko, crawling through the legs of the customers. It thrust its right arm toward her, grasped her wiggling form in its hand.
"Lemme go, lemme go, I don't wanna die," she pleaded. It pulled her toward the cluster of green eyes.
"And why shouldn't you?" it hissed. "You wear the corpses of flowers on your head, as if they were battle trophies."
"But they're not real, they're jewelry! Who ever heard of a four-petaled daisy, anyway?"
"There's another reason right there for plant revolution. Sterilizing one generation of plants through hybridizing, so they can't reproduce fertile offspring, both flowers and vegetables. You destroy their present, and deny them a hope for the future. Even making adornments based on their corpses is a desecration."
"But I don't wanna die," she screeched again.
"What's wrong with you? Didn't you hear what I said?"
"A-Ko, save me, I don't wanna die!"
"Oh please, how juvenile your thinking is! As Gertrude said in Hamlet, 'all that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity.' Though, of course, as a good dialectical materialist, I'd have to chastise The Bard on such a superstitious concept."
It felt a sharp pinch, making it wince. It turned to spy Leroy kicking his boot into the thick bundles of celery in its right leg. He followed each kick with an insult:
"Why you Nazi - fascist - Communist - socialist - anarchist - libertarian - liberal - male chauvinist - feminist - anti-Catholic - anti-Semitic - racist - New Age - vegetarian - Freemasonic - Stan, the - Rubber - Bat - for - President - son of a so-and-so!"
"What the heck are you spewing?"
"A stream-of-consciousness insult, you thing!"
"Wait a minute," it growled, tossing C-Ko into its left hand. It picked up Leroy by the collar of his coat and pulled him toward his blue eye cluster. "Stream-of-consciousness insult? Is this a la James Joyce?"
"Of course. How'd you know?"
"Good question," it murmured. "Something in me - I don't know what - recognizes that name. Never liked him much. Thought him too scatterbrained to be a Communist. By the way, are you one?"
"Of course not."
"Oh, just another lackey of these plant-killing capitalists, eh?"
"I ain't that either."
"Then you're a fascist Hitlerite toady, then."
"Wrong there also."
It pulled Leroy closer, squinting each eyeball at him. "You've got to be something. Tell the truth, what are you anyway?"
"A Distributist, and glad of it!"
"What?"
"A Distributist. Look, I've got a copy of an old booklet explaining it in my coat pocket." It pulled the booklet out with the left hand, C-Ko still held tight with just two fingers. Her face was drenched with tears.
"Hang in there, C-Ko," he said. "You ain't alone in this."
The creature flipped through the tiny pages, each eye scanning a page. It grumbled loud, thinking. A-Ko sneaked through the crowd, reaching Ippei filming the incident. She pulled his arm, whispered in his ear. They crawled to the end of the bread aisle and turned the corner.
"What's up, A-Ko?" Ippei said. "What gives?" She opened her purse and pulled out a thick bundle of clothing and a pair of shoes.
"I can't explain it all right now, Ippei. But I'm begging you to work with me on this. Can I trust you?"
"If it ain't immoral, sure. Go ahead."
"I'm going to distract that thing out there, try to trip it up. While I'm doing that, you get everybody out of the store, quick-smart and quiet, okay?"
"Sure, I can do that. I'll also call the cops on my portable phone to get you more help. But what's with the clothes?"
"Let's just say this is my uniform for times like these. Here, hold my purse." She dropped it into his lap and unfolded the bundle. The sight of a schoolgirl's sailor fuku met his confused eyes.
"This is your - uniform?"
"You're going to change into that in front of me?"
"It'll only take a second, Ippei. This is a trick I picked up from Mom."
She extended her arms, spun to the right over and over like a top, turning into a red-and-gold blur. He held his breath as the gold vanished, replaced with white and blue. Ten seconds later, she slowed to a stop, clad in her old school uniform.
"Goodness," he spat. "She taught you to do that?"
"Yeah, she's a regular - wonder. Get it?"
"Uhhhh - no."
You will, soon enough. Now get ready."
She jumped up to the top shelf, peered over the edge. The vegetable monster finished perusing the booklet and slid it back into Leroy's coat. He looked at C-Ko, then at Leroy.
"I think I'd better kill you first, mister," it sighed. "You're too weird to live."
"What?"
"The oppressed plant masses of the world have enough to deal with in their struggle against their mammal exploiters. Stuff like this will drive those poor folks over the edge, make them as crazy as you. I'd doubt if you'd even make good compost."
"It's not right to insult people," C-Ko yelped. "It only makes bad feelings."
"Lenin said anything that helps the Revolution succeed is moral. And he didn't exclude insults. In fact, you're so scrawny, you wouldn't make enough compost for an herb garden." C-Ko started crying again as it faced Leroy. "And you? You're so weird, only peyote mushrooms could grow from your remains. Worse, if any comrade ate them, they'd probably get bad trips. I could see those poor fellows freak out seeing Chairman Mao in a miniskirt, all because of you."
"ATTENTION SHOPPERS," the overhead speaker began.
"Shut up," the thing yelled. "I'm having a moment here."
"You're too dumb to have a moment," it shot back. "And your sister has a crush on Bill Gates. Nyahh-nyahh!" The monster flipped an empty bin with its leg toward the ceiling, knocking out a speaker. It fell to pieces near A-Ko, nearly bruising her.
"Hah! Take that, you bourgeois running weed."
"I thought the phrase was 'running dog', wasn't it?" Leroy asked.
"Look, you phrase it your way, I'll phrase it mine, all right?" A-Ko flipped over the shelf and landed on her feet in front of the crowd.
"Hey you," she shouted. The monster - startled - turned to and fro.
"Who's telling jokes?" it barked.
"'Hey you' is a joke?" asked C-Ko.
"Among us plants, it is."
"Look down here," A-Ko shouted again. The monster gasped and took a step back. "You've got both my childhood friend and my boyfriend in your clutches. And I demand that you release them right now!"
It dropped Leroy to the floor and covered its eye clusters with the free hand. The American rushed under the left hand and caught C-Ko as she wiggled out of the now-loosened hand.
"Gotcha, Baby Sister," he said, carrying her at a gallop away from the monster.
"Leroy," A-Ko cried. "Keep C-Ko safe, okay?":
"Don't worry about us, girl," he yelled. "Just get that thing."
"Be careful, A-Ko," C-Ko shouted, reaching out to her. Leroy carried her out of sight, as A-Ko turned to face the monster. Its eye cluster shed a shower of tears, wetting the floor underneath its feet.
"What a horrid, disgusting sight I see," it bellowed, half-sobbing. "Tell me something, you beast. How many innocent young strawberries, cherries and tomatoes had to die - to dye that fur of yours red, huh?"
The store went silent again. She hung her head, fists clenched.
"How many?" it yelled again.
"F-F-F-FUR?" she spat out. "You - called my hair - FUR? How could you! My parents are proud of me for keeping it strong by eating healthy and washing it right. My pal C-Ko praises me every time I come out of a salon and sees it sparkle in the sunlight. And my - my sweet Leroy - "
C-Ko sneaked a peek around the corner in the aisle and gasped at her friend trembling.
"Baby Sister," Leroy whispered behind her. "Get back here. I can't let you get hurt."
"Ssssssh, quiet. A-Ko may be in trouble. Besides, I'm not leaving without Ippei."
"And - my - sweet - darling - Leroy," she said, half-crying. "He - drives me - almost half-mad with ecstasy - when he - slowly - runs his fingers through my hair. All - while - whispering - sweet nothings in my ear. Even - even calls it a 'silken geyser of fire'."
"You do?" C-Ko asked Leroy, now hovering beside her.
"And why should I lie, C-Ko?" he said. "Why should I?"
"This - " A-Ko pointed to her flaming tresses, hand trembling. "This is my crown of glory while I'm alive. This is my hard-earned badge of pride in being a woman. And - you - have the audacity - the gall - to call - my - hair - FUR!" The last word she screamed, eyes blazing in fury.
The monster put up both fists and spat a gob of apple sauce on the floor. "By Marx's grave and Lenin's tomb, yes - I - DARE!"
She shook in rage, felt muscles pulse, teeth clench, and knuckles pop as she made fists. "You - just - crossed - the - line - in the - sand!"
Releasing a loud, guttural roar from her throat, she vaulted into the air toward the monster's snout. She telegraphed a series of fast jabs on its snout, feeling the loud crunch of broken produce under her fists. She grasped its nostril and tossed the monster over the tops of the aisles. Screaming, it collided with the dairy case, smashing glass and plastic and spewing milk and juice everywhere.
Landing on her feet, she turned to see Ippei run toward her. "Now, Ippei!"
"Right." He spun around to face the crowd. "All you who wanna live, follow me! Form two lines by the last cash registers, children first. Stay quiet, and we'll live to see tomorrow."
"Don't have to tell us twice," the full-figured lady said. "Lead the way, buddy." He waved them to the end of the aisle and guided them toward the checkout counters. The produce manager broke away from the crowd and faced A-Ko.
"How in blazes did you do that?"
"Get with the rest of the crowd."
"No human could do something like that."
"To quote you, 'after all, this IS Graviton City' - now get outta here." She jumped over his head and landed on top of the bread shelf. "C-Ko! Leroy! Where are you?"
"Over here, darlin'," he called out. "C-Ko's hiding under the 'Mister Boogie-Bear Kiddie Cookie' display, and refuses to come out. C'mon, girl, for A-Ko's sake, get a move-on."
"Come on, C-Ko," she said, leaping down to the table. "Get out of here, will you?"
"I'm scared! I don't wanna die!"
"This is your chance to scram. Don't blow it!"
"You said you ain't leavin' without Ippei?" Leroy barked. "Well, girl, he's gettin' everyone out of the store now."
"He is?" she asked, crawling out from under the table. "Where?"
"Near the right exit. I'll getcha to him."
"Leroy, no matter what happens, protect C-Ko, okay?"
"When I make a promise, I keep it. You jus' keep that whatever from her, and I'll do the rest." The monster's left hand reached for the hole in the wall its snout had made upon impact.
"I love you, my gaijin," she cried, stealing a kiss from him. In a flash, she leapt over the shelves. He shook his head as he guided the Princess down the aisle.
"She must've ate a lotta spinach when she was a kid."
"Are you kidding?" C-Ko said. "She hates spinach. She'll only eat it if she needs more iron in her diet."
"The way she moves, Baby Sister, she don't need iron. She's way tougher than that."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Friends, here is a very brief explanation why it has taken me so very, very long to add another chapter to this and other fanfic stories I write.
I suffer from two forms of Autism - one is Asperger's Syndrome, the other is Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (also known as OCPD). A symptom of these forms of Autism is perfectionism in the things we do and procrastination in finishing what needs finishing due to perfectionism. The combination of the two results in horrid delays in finishing this and other stories.
I don't like leaving you - the readers - hanging in mid-air regarding these stories. I hate it myself. But right now, there is no medical cure for these forms of Autism in medical science, whether "mainstream" or "alternative". So I can't say when the next chapter will come along.
This story and the others that I work on WILL be finished. The problem is I don't know when they will be finished. Nonetheless, please permit me to thank you for your patience with me on these stories, as well as your feedback to improve them in the future.
Again, thank you all very much. God speed!