Holding Onto Hope
By wanna-be-bold
AN: I am SO sorry for how late this chapter is! College has been crazy this semester. On the plus side, mid-terms just ended and I am now in Fall break so I should be able to catch up on writing. Unfortunately, chapters still won't be updated very frequently. I can absolutely promise you though that I will not be abandoning this story!
This chapter has a flashback that will be in italics.
Ch 8
Previously on Holding onto Hope:
" It was so very difficult to stay away but I told you, I had to! They made us stay away!"
"Really? Who? Who made you stay away?!"
"Anton Pavlenko!"
""Pavlenko? You mean the Russian counselor Pavlenko?" Ziva just nods her head. "The same Pavlenko who worked with Sergei Mishnev who tried to kill Gibbs?!"
"Yes Tony." Tony starts shaking his head and getting up from the couch when Ziva reaches out an arm to pull him back to her. "Just, just hear me out Tony. Please."
At her "please," Tony caves and decides he should listen to her. He slowly sits down on the opposite end of his sofa. "Okay then, shoot."
"Before Ari was killed, he had been engaged to a woman named Dina Bashir."
""Yeah, no, I met her in Israel when I was looking for you."
"Well not long after she had talked to you, Dina came to me. She told me she knew that I was the one who killed Ari, not Gibbs. She also told me that Ari had a half-brother, Sergei Mishnev, who was planning to get revenge for Ari's death. She threatened me. She told me that after Sergei killed Gibbs, she would tell him who Ari's real killer was if I did not make you leave. She claimed that, because I took the man she loved away from her, I should not be allowed to be with the man I loved. I did not want to take her threat seriously at first, especially when you arrived at the house. It was so nice to just see you and spend time with you after those few months. Then, that morning you were on the video call with Gibbs she showed up at the house. That is when I knew I had to take her threat seriously. I did not want to make you leave and I certainly did not want to stay in Israel. When I first went to Israel for the summer, I really did want to clear my head and find peace over everything I had done in my past. After Dina though, I knew I had stay in Israel to protect Gibbs, and you. And everyone else at NCIS. When I got back home after you left, I could not believe what I had done. I cried myself to sleep that night for the first time since Tali died." Ziva begins to tear up so Tony reaches over to lightly rub her hand. "The next morning I awoke with a mission: I was going to track down and kill Sergei Mishnev. I went off the grid for almost two months before I was able to track him down to within a city. Before I left, I went to see Alvina."
"Ziva, why are you doing this?" "I have to Alvi, It is the only way to protect my friends." "But Ziva." "No! I have to do this. I cannot let my actions cause harm to anyone else I care about." "But what about the baby Ziva?" "What, what baby? What are you talking about?" "Are you not pregnant?" "What? No, of course I'm…" Ziva dropped down onto the sofa in shock. "I'm late. I had not realized it until now. I have been so busy worrying about tracking down Sergei that I had not even noticed that I was late. Should, should I take a test? Where should I get one? What kind should I get? Should I go to the doctor instead? What should I do?!" Ziva's voice had quickly risen to a panic. Alvina puts a hand on Ziva's shoulder, trying to calm her down. "First of all Ziva, you need to calm down. I have a box of pregnancy tests in my bathroom. You can take those. Then you go from there. If they turn out to be positive, which it sounds like they will be, then I will take you to the doctor as soon as you're ready. Everything will be okay."
"At that time I was already three months along. I had taken at least five at home tests, all which were positive, before going to the doctor for a final confirmation. Although I already knew it would be positive, I was still surprised, more like shocked, when she came back in with a 'congratulations.' I left her office feeling overwhelmed, and very glad that Alvina drove. I do not think I could have concentrated on anything other than this new information. At that time, I vowed to do everything I could to make myself a better person for my child. I spent the next three months trying to find peace with myself over everything I had done and tried to focus on my "I will" list. My emotions were all over the place. There were times I wanted to get on the next plane to D.C. and other times when I never wanted to come back at all. It was not until around my sixth month when my mood swings began to calm down and I finally talked to Alvina about what I should do. It was then I realized I needed to come back to DC , only it was no longer safe for me to fly and I have not been on a ship in years. I made a vow to myself that I would come back as soon as possible after I had the baby and I tried. It was about four months after I had Tikva when I got a plane ticket to DC. We were almost ready to board when a man came up to me, asking me to come with him. He said his name was Anton Pavlenko and he was a Russian Counselor. I was on alert until he told me it had to do with Ari and Sergei's mission. After he was confronted by Dina, he had flagged my name and, when it popped up that I was going to DC, he tracked me down. They took us straight from the airport and kept us there for about five months. This spring, they had received word that Sergei had been killed so they released us to go back to Beer Sheeba under protective detail. We were told not to leave there until they could confirm Sergei's death. We finally got home a month before Tikva's first birthday. I received a call on July fourth confirming that they had Sergei's body back in Russia and freed us from protective detail, making us free to travel. I booked the next available flight to DC and we were packed within twelve hours. I was so excited to get back to DC that we arrived at the airport five hours early. With three hours left until we boarded the plane, I called Gibbs and told him I was coming home and he told me he would be waiting for me when my plane landed. Our plane landed early the morning of July 10. I picked up our luggage and went to meet Gibbs. After getting re-acquainted and getting over the shock of seeing me with Tikva, he drove us back to his house. I told him that I wanted to go see you that night and he told me that he would watch Tikva for me after he got home. We got settled in while he was at NCIS. He called me when you left work and I started to prepare myself for what I wanted to say to you. By the time Gibbs got back home, I was finally ready so I hailed a cab before I could chicken out. The cab pulled up to your building and I paced outside for thirty minutes before coming up. So, I got on the elevator and minutes later I was knocking on your door. And well, you know what happens from there."
Tony was speechless after she finished talking. He had been so angry with her all this time, believing that she didn't care about him anymore when she was actually trying to protect him.
"I'm so sorry Ziva. For everything you had to go through. For not being there to help you through it. And most of all for believing you would voluntarily abandon your family here at NCIS."
"And I am sorry for making you believe that."
"It's okay. You're here now and that's what matters."
Plan to expect another chapter or two of this story. After this story, I am planning a prequel about Tony and Ziva's time in Israel and then a series of oneshots about their time after this story.
AN: To Concerned Mommy, the reason that watching movies all day is considered "bonding" for Tony and Tikva is because of Tony's love of movies (which he gets from his mom and Tikva obviously gets from him.) Tony lives in an apartment so the only way she would be going outside to play is if they went to a park which I am sure would make a 1 year old in a completely new environment overwhelmed. Also, I obviously didn't cover every hour that they watched movies so you are free to fill in whatever you like during those hours.