Star Wars: A Bond Awakens
Chapter Ten: Push Back the Past
People mistake love for a feeling of not being able to live without someone, but that's not wholly what love is. Love is making sacrifices, no matter how great, to do what they need.
That was precisely what Ora was doing for Ben. No matter how much she wanted to visit Leia, check up on Finn, hug Chewy again, she wouldn't. Ben wasn't ready for any of that, and she wanted to make sure that she was here for him and was going at his pace, not separate from him.
Of course, she quickly failed just as she was breaking Ben from the grasps of the dark side. Anakin and Padme's past haunted Ora, affecting her in ways she hated most. She felt his pain these past few days. He tried to suppress it for the sake of her not stressing while on bedrest, but she could still feel it.
Despite their tense conversation a couple of weeks ago, he still brought her food and drink and medicine. He continued asking about how she felt and if she needed anything else. But that was all. Nothing more but never anything less.
The more days that go by that she had to stay and bed and Ben didn't speak more than a few sentences to her, the more restless and stressed she became.
One evening, she got up, too full of energy to keep herself in her room. She walked out and went to the large window in the living room, leaning against it again. She rested her forehead against it, wishing she could step outside the ship and feel any planet's air.
"What are you doing out of bed?" Ben asked behind her.
She didn't turn around. She kept her eyes closed, feeling the glass. "I'm restless and tired of laying in bed."
"You would think you wouldn't be tired if you were just laying in bed all day." She could hear the smile in his voice.
That's when she turned. She saw his smile and she couldn't help but give a smile back. She was surprised at his lighthearted remark. She was sure she would get a lecture from him about how the droid said to stay in bed and so on and so forth.
He walked towards her, brushing her hair back. "Come on, let's go to bed."
She groaned. "Do I have to? What if I said no?"
"Well," he began, picking her up in both arms.
She giggled at the sudden rush she felt as she was being lifted. "What in all the galaxy are you doing?" She laughed. "Put me down, Ben!"
He smirked. "This is your punishment for not listening." He carried her to her bedroom and laid her down gently.
"I'm sorry, Ben." She rested her head on his shoulder again.
"I understand." That was all he said about the subject. He slid off the bed and knelt beside her. Funnily enough, even on his knees he was nearly taller than she sitting on the bed. "May I?" he asked, gesturing towards her swollen stomach.
She nodded, smiling. He placed a hand awkwardly on her stomach and then placed an ear on the top, listening intently. "I hear him. He's kicking."
Ora laughed. "Yes, he is. I definitely feel that."
"Is he hurting you?"
She shook her head.
"I asked W3-6 and she said that we could expect him any week now. Are you scared?"
"No. Well, maybe a little. I can be a big baby myself when it comes to physical pain," she said chuckling.
"That isn't funny," he said, placing his head back on her stomach. She stroked his thick head of hair.
"Can I ask you something?"
He looked up at her. "Of course. You can ask me anything."
"Do you remember Rey? When she was little?"
"Not really. Luke didn't want anyone to know of his daughter. I think he was always afraid something would happen to her just because she had a relation with him. But I do remember seeing her that day I let the Knights of Ren destroy everything you had. She was only seven...maybe even younger." His voice began to crack. "One of the Knights went after her, lifting his weapon to kill her, but I stopped him. I approached her, recognizing how much Luke she had in her. I took her to Luke and that was the last I saw of her. It was what I did with her that Snoke questioned and tortured me with the Force for not having killed her. Sometimes I remember her terrified face and imagine all the other kids that were there being attacked by the Knights, knowing that it was me who let them in. It is my fault those children are dead."
Ben looked into Ora's eyes, tears falling down his face. "I had a dream last night that our son was studying at the academy in the temple. I let those dark siders in, Ora. They killed our son right in front of me and I let them."
"My love," Ora said, embracing him. "It was just a dream."
"I know," he finally said, calmly. "But it bothered me just the same."
"Well, I say we ditch this damned ship and go on a walk. This place is becoming depressing."
He laughed. "Nice try, but you need to rest."
She rolled her eyes. So close.
xxx
They were playing holochess in bed. Both concentrated intently on what moves to make. They had already played a dozen games for lack of anything else to do. They weren't sure how many wins or losses there were; that wasn't what they were concerned about.
Ora kept on thinking so loudly in her mind with the silence between them. She thought about how badly she wanted him to reunite with his mother, and how amazing it would be to go back to her family with the one she was making now.
He looked up at her. He heard her thoughts.
She blushed. "Sorry."
"I can't go back," Ben said.
"Ben. Leia misses you. Chewy misses you. They love you, Ben. And love forgives everything no matter how bad it is. You are already forgiven. You can go back to your mother."
He looked back down, moving a piece. His jaw was clenching again. He always did that.
"Please, Ben, just-" She stopped, feeling something clench in her stomach. Suddenly, it was gone.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded. And they continued playing chess with Ben glancing up at her every so often.
He saw her brows knit together again in pain. It took a few more seconds, but she eased back to normal again. Then again, she made that pained face. He closed the holochess and it shut off. "You are obviously in pain, Ora, what's going on?"
She was breathing harder now, putting an arm around her stomach as if that would somehow stop the pain that began to increase in intensity. "I-I think I'm having contractions," she said through hard, heavy breaths.
"Contractions?" he asked, moving closer to her. "What does that even mean?"
"It means the baby is ready to come out," she growled.
His eyes went wide. Quickly, he lifted her up and carried her into the medical bay. He yelled for W3-6 and she immediately rolled in at his call. The droid set her up on the metal bench. But Ben wasn't happy. "Don't you have anything more comfortable for her?
"This is where all the equipment is, Master. My sincerest apologies," the droid said as she started injecting her with drugs.
Maz came in, but Ben completely ignored her.
"What are you putting in her? W3-6!" he started to shout. "What are-"
"Ben," Maz said, "You should go outside."
He gritted his teeth, but walked out. It wasn't as if he knew what to do anyway. But he wanted to be there for Ora.
Han would tell him of how his mother screamed in pain when he was being born. She would curse at him like he was her worst enemy, like everything was his fault and it was him who gave her all that pain. What was strange to Ben, however, was that he didn't hear anything come from Ora. Was she dead? Is she okay? Would she leave him like Padme left Anakin?
Ben paced back and forth in front of the med bay now. He rubbed his hands together, he rubbed his eyes, he picked up his pace a little. He couldn't be still. There more worried he became, the less he could focus on what was happening to Ora through the Force. When it got quiet, he stopped to listen. A baby's strong cry started to sound through the door. Ben sighed with relief. He tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. He banged on it hard.
"We aren't done yet!" Maz yelled from the other side. "Calm down, child, before I ask this droid to drug you up, too!"
He growled.
There was another silence. He waited, but nothing sounded.
The med door slid open. Maz appeared first. She looked happy but sad at the same time.
"What's wrong?" he asked. That's all he wanted to know first.
"There is a girl," Maz began, "She is very small though, and we have to keep her on a machine more than likely for quite some time."
W3-6 rolled over, handing him the smallest being he had ever seen. She was so tiny that she fit in both his hands with room left over. There were tears in his eyes from joy of such a beautiful girl, but also pain from seeing how small and fragile she was. She looked sickly. She needed help, but he didn't know how to help her.
"Master," the droid said. Ben didn't look up from staring at his tiny daughter. "She has a twin. He's strong though."
"Yes," Maz reassured him, "He is quite the fighter."
"Tell me the weight of them, W3-6," Ora asked. She looked normal, as if she had just gotten a small cut and didn't really need to be there in the first place.
"He is seven pounds and she is three pounds two ounces, my lady."
Ora frowned. She wasn't big enough to be healthy. She looked down at her son whom she held in her arms. He was beautiful and moving quite nicely. He clung to her shirt, moving his mouth, searching.
"My lady," W3-6 continued. "It's best you feed her right away. It will help give her strength."
Ben was reluctant to let her go. As much as he felt he could break her at any moment, he wanted to also keep her close to make sure she was okay...and still breathing. Ben walked over to Ora, handing her the baby girl. W3-6 took the boy from Ora, handing him over to Ben when his hands were free. When he took him into his arms, the baby's mouth turned into a smile. He reached up, gripping some of Ben's loose hair.
"Ah-Ow!" Ben said, taking the boy's hand off his hair. "Okay, let go."
Ora laughed, finishing her feeding.
Ben smiled at her, watching her intently with the boy still held tight in his arms. He watched her as she looked at their daughter. She looked concerned, worried that something would happen to her. Ben struggled to figure out what to do.
xxx
Ora was alseep, but Ben found himself awake late at night.
They put the two babies in the same crib in hopes being close together would give one another strength to stay and become healthy. Ben finally was anxious enough to walk out of his room and walk quickly to the medical bay. W3-6 was there, watching over the monitors of the twins.
"Good morning, Master Ren."
Ben glared at her. "It's Ben."
"Forgive me, Master Ben. She is quite unstable. Her heartrate is slowing down every hour. It's hard to say at this point that she will survive."
He sneered at her. "Then try harder."
"I only have so much equipment here, maybe-"
Before the droid finished, Ben stomped off making his way to the pit. Maz was there, very alert and awake. She turned to him when Ben walked in.
"Couldn't sleep child?"
"I request all of us to be dropped off on D'Qar."
Maz smiled. "I already set our destination there hours ago."
xxxLeiaxxx
General Leia Organa was no Jedi, but she felt things in the Force. She felt the darkness in her son when he drifted to the dark side, she felt the emptiness in the Force when Han suffered a tragic death, and she felt now her son coming to her.
At first, Leia thought it was just simply an idea that crossed her mind. What if Ben had come home to her? Then, that feeling in the Force became stronger. He was coming to her. All these years she had imagined him coming back home, but never did she prepare herself for when it actually happened. What was she to say to him? What should she do? Can she look at him without seeing Han and remembering how Han wasn't ever coming back? Even worse, could she not process how he wasn't coming back because of Ben?
These thoughts worried her. She couldn't mess this up. Not when she and Han and everyone else tried so hard to bring him back. She couldn't drive him out again like she and Han did when he was little. No, she would embrace him with love and leave the Han and apology talk for later.
And Ora.
She hadn't seen her in months. Ora had no idea what was going on or where Rey went or whether Finn was alright. She had no idea Luke had been found and Rey was with him in training. She was out of the loop and Leia had so much to tell her.
But the same could be said of herself, Leia was sure. She had no idea how she was doing with the pregnancy, it was coming close to thirty-six weeks and Maker knows maybe she was getting close to labor.
"General," a messenger began, "Maz Kanata's ship has been sighted. They appear to be landing right outside the base."
Leia nodded, getting up from her chair in a hurry. She rushed out onto the landing with a garage full of X-Wings behind her. Looking up, she saw a giant ship make its descent down onto the open landing below. Leia slowly backed up, her eyes watered from the wind pressured by the ship.
It landed with a rough thud. The ramp opened up immediately with a figure running out.
Ben.
Love swelled in the old princess' heart.
He was holding something in one hand ever so gentle-like and a small machine in the other. It seemed to have a chord that connected to the other thing he was holding.
When he reached her, he stopped. There were tears staining his cheeks.
"Mom," he said, his voice breaking to heart shattering pieces. "You have to help her. I don't know what to do and she's dying. Please, help her."
A few others were standing by, looking at the new person none of them recognized.
Except for Finn.
He walked up to them. "What are you doing here? You should not be here and you should most certainly not be holding a baby!"
At first, Leia thought he was speaking of Ora, but when she looked at his large arms, she saw the small child who fit in his one hand so easily. Concern covered her face now. She turned around, placing a hand on his back to lead him to their medical station, ignoring Finn's objections to Ben being there.
The droids there took the preemie into the infant's med room where all the newborns born on that base were looked after to make sure they were in good health.
"Can you save her?" Ben asked Leia.
She looked up at her son. He was so tall and so grown, but all she saw was a small, scared child who was so helpless.
"I promise," she said, grabbing his hand, "We will save your daughter. I promise."
xxx
Ora felt the thud.
It woke her up, wondering what was going on.
She quickly ran to the large window, seeing trees and a strip of landing below. The planet was all too familiar: D'Qar.
With so much energy and excitement, she raced out of the ship, looking all around her in awe. She was home again. Finally home.
"Ora?"
She turned, seeing Finn rather distressed.
"Finn!" she yelled, running up to embrace him. "You're alright! I can't believe it! I'm so sorry I couldn't prevent that! But you're alright! That's what matters." She looked at him with a big smile, so happy that he was alive and awake again.
Finn returned the smile, but frowned again. "What is he doing here? He can't be here. He killed Han."
Maz walked up behind them. "We can discuss that ordeal later. For now, let's just keep to the story of him returning from hiding away from the First Order after the academy was destroyed. We don't want to panic the rest of the Resistance."
"Hmm," Finn said rather sarcastically and dramatically, "I wonder why they would panic."
W3-6 rolled up with the boy in her arms, handing him over to his mother. Ora lit up so bright seeing him. She turned to Finn, offering him over. She was so proud at her and Ben's beautiful creation.
Finn softened greatly. He took the child and looked at him intently. "He is pretty adorable."
"Where is the general?" Maz asked. "I must speak with her."
"She and...you know who went to the medical bay down in section one," Finn said, still cradling the child. He looked at the infant, shaking his head. "No idea how something as sweet as you can come from a monster like him."
"Finn," Ora warned. "That's his father you're speaking of. I know what happened. We must learn to forgive and push forward if we are to be set apart from people like the First Order."
Finn sighed. "Alright." He turned to the little boy who held his large finger in his tiny hand. "I'll forgive your father, but only for you, little guy."