Author's Note: -sighs deeply- Well, here we are at last. After more than a year, SADITL is finally coming to a close. I'm so very sorry for the hiatus, everyone. This is definitely way overdue and you didn't deserve the long and agonizing wait for this chapter, especially concerning the cliffhanger from the last one. I won't launch into excuses, I'll just say that I've been very busy and I dropped out of the Senyuu fandom for quite a while before finally coming back to finish this monster of a chapter. Isn't that great, though? The last chapter is finally here, and I'm pretty sure it's the longest one I've ever written for this story! And finally I have finished my first multi-chapter fanfic! I feel so accomplished ;w; And see, I didn't break my promise! I swore I would finish this story no matter what and I have. -shakes fist at sky-
Before we begin this feels trip, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's supported this story by reviewing, favoriting and following...and to my awesome friend Seraph, who kicked my ass into gear so I could get this chappie done. You're a true friend, Seraph, I dunno what I'd do without ya ;D
Okay, reviews real quick, and then goodbye hugs, and then we'll start!
Kuuhaku Particles: Donchu worry, it's finally Ros' time to shine! He's been hiding away in the corner long enough! (Have a hug for your aching kokoro friend-o -pats shoulder-)
Sometimes Silver Lining: Sorry not sorry ;D (He's back, he's back now!)
Thesonginthewind1: Oooh, good good! It's such a great manga/show, I love it to death! Haha sorry, cliffhangers are sorta my thing, you know? Eheh! Here's the last chapter for ya (finally)!
Seraph: WELL HEY YOU. Here's the ending. Thanks for your support, you're such an awesome human being!
Neko-do san: Yes, yes, I'm so very sorry! Life has gotten in the way over and over, but I have prevailed, so here is the final chapter at last!
Guest: It's here, it's here! Sorry again! ;w;
fuyuharu18: Hiya! Hahhh, you'll have to read this chapter and see what happens, you know...! Thank you so much!
waxydoll: It is done! I hope you enjoy!
Okay, come here you two! -hugs-
Alba: Eheh! Thanks for everything, Shima!
Ros: It was one helluva ride. But we'll miss you.
Shima: I'll miss you guys too! Don't worry, I promise I'll come back and write more. Hopefully soon.
Alba: Hm! We'll hold you to that!
Ros: You'd better come back, dammit.
Shima: Don't doubt me! I will come back, I swear! 0m0'
And now, my dear, dear readers...without further ado...
The last chapter of SADITL. Don't forget to grab tissues.
Alba & Ros: Roll the chapter!
Chapter 15
Shadows Are Darker in the Light
"Shi-tan, Shi-tan! Aren't you excited? Come on! Show a little more emotion for once!"
Red eyes flickered lazily over to the form of a certain black and white-haired teen, who was currently bouncing around with endless excitement.
The sky was a bright blue at the moment, but Shion could tell that there was a storm brewing. Angry dark clouds were gathered at the edge of the horizon and it wouldn't be long until they moved in and unleashed their wrath upon the earth. Around this time of year it tended to rain quite often, so he'd been sure to bring an umbrella just in case.
It was May now, almost eight months after he'd left Japan to return home and take care of the many responsibilities he'd abandoned long ago. But everything had properly fallen into place and things seemed to be alright now.
There were many concerns regarding his father, Rchimedes. But after several incidents in court and long, exhausting nights spent trying to solve all the problems about said man, he was sent to jail for a life sentence. Shion wouldn't lie and say it didn't sadden him; despite all of his faults and misdeeds, Rchimedes was still his family and seeing him locked up was sort of unnerving. However, good things came out of that final decision—Shion was finally reunited with the remainder of his family.
His mother, Cecily, was overjoyed to see him, and was extremely overprotective of him after he returned home. Shion could hardly leave the house without her breathing down his neck. Even so, he still treasured her. He hadn't seen her in years so it was strange to be doted on by a mother such as her, but he appreciated it nonetheless.
Then there was his little brother, Lake. Shion hadn't even known he had a little brother until he'd been told so. Lake looked almost exactly like him, it was kind of scary. He had the same crimson red eyes and jet black hair. Unlike his older brother, though, he was very kindhearted and energetic. Shion sometimes wondered if the only thing they shared was their appearance, because their personalities were so vastly different. Still, Lake was a good kid and Shion had a hard time saying no to him. He fondly recalled a certain brunette that Lake reminded him of...
The biggest surprise of all, though, was discovering that his best friend Crea had finally woken up from his 4 year long coma. After the final trials were over he received a call stating that Crea made a miraculous recovery inside the hospital and was due to come home once he was back in tip top shape. Shion had been so shocked he had nearly passed out.
Several months had passed after the incident and Crea was slowly but surely adapting back into his regular life. It was difficult since he was four years behind schedule in his education, but Shion tutored him in his free time and helped him to understand things better. Along with his state of intellect, which was slowly but surely being caught up to the current level at which it should be, Crea had to go through a lot of physical therapy. Being stuck in a bed for four years certainly did a number on his body. His muscles were extremely weak and needed help getting back to their regular state. Crea couldn't walk for the first three weeks, but eventually he managed to overcome that obstacle. Now he was completely healthy—a bit skinnier than he should be, but he had a good appetite and was working on building his body to what it used to be.
After much pleading and begging (on Crea's part, Shion would not take credit for that) Cecily finally agreed to send the boys back to Japan for a few weeks in order to catch up with old friends among...other things that may or may not include a specific screwup teenager.
"Shi-tan! Shi-tan, is that it?" Crea was already several paces ahead of him and was frantically pointing at a building in the distance. Shion took his time in catching up. When he finally reached his best friend's side he followed the other's eager gaze to land on the familiar and nostalgic sight of his old high school.
"That's it," he confirmed, eyes clouding over with memories. Crea noticed his longing gaze and smiled.
"It's been a long time, hasn't it, Shi-tan? I'm sure you must miss your friends a lot."
"Huh? Those losers? No way," Shion stated bluntly with a blank expression. "I was just thinking of how much I hated this place."
Crea snorted with laughter. "You liar! I don't believe any of that! You can't fool me!"
Shion roughly smacked his friend upside the head and started walking towards the edge of the school grounds. Crea whined in pain, cradling his injured skull while he followed his sadistic companion.
"You're so mean, Shi-tan...I wouldn't be surprised if Alba-kun rejects your love proposal!"
"Huh? What nonsense are you going on about now?" Shion asked, his voice dangerously low. "There's no way I could ever like Hero in that way. He's too wimpy for my tastes."
"Sure, sure," Crea hummed, deciding to drop the subject for now. He knew that, deep down, Shion really loved Alba. He could tell right from the start when Shion was filling him in on his life that the brunette was very special to him. No matter how hard he tried to mask it, Crea easily detected hints of immense fondness in Shion's tone whenever he mentioned Alba.
Shion would never admit it, not even to himself consciously, that he missed Alba a lot while he was away. Whenever he wasn't paying attention he found that the dorky teen occupied his thoughts, and when he caught himself thinking such things he'd get frustrated. He tried to forget the friendships he formed with everyone in their group because he had a new life to lead now. But Crea was insistent on Shion returning and seeing everyone he once held dear again, so here they were.
Even though Shion's steps were slightly rushed, betraying his eagerness to explore his old high school, Crea managed to keep up with him due to his own excitement. He could hardly wait to meet all of his best friend's friends. He'd have to thank each and every one of them for keeping Shion in line.
He knew that, while he'd been asleep, Shion had had a very rough time. Shion told him that after he fell into his coma, he'd been forced to leave and try to live his life elsewhere. After almost four years of living away from home, Shion could no longer run away from his guilt and duty to protect his family, so he'd finally come back to set things right. Even so, Crea knew that it was thanks to Shion's newfound friends. The black-haired teen never stated it directly, but Crea knew they had given him a new sense of hope and courage, especially Alba.
So now that everything's okay back home, he's come here to thank everyone for what they've done, Crea thought fondly. They were rapidly approaching school grounds. And also to finally tell Alba-kun his feelings. Ahh! I'm so happy! My best friend has fallen in love...I never thought I'd see the day!
"Daydreaming again, Crea? Get your head out of the clouds. We're almost here." Shion said, flicking his forehead. Crea stuck out his lower lip teasingly and hurried his pace to match with Shion's.
Students were already flooding out of the building, signaling the end of another school day. Unlike back home, classes were still going on here, so Shion knew if he wanted to catch his friends this would be the best place and time to do it. Crea bounced beside him, radiating with anticipation. Shion rolled his eyes, not being able to resist the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. No matter what the situation, his best friend always tried to stay optimistic. One of the perks of being Crea, he supposed.
They walked closer to the building, footsteps crunching the grass below them. Students headed in all different directions on their way home or to other after school activities. Shion frowned when several of them pointed and whispered at him, their eyes wide with disbelief. The more he looked around, the more strange things seemed. The majority of the teenagers leaving looked...hollow, empty, like they'd been struck with some great tragedy and were having a hard time accepting it. An uncomfortable feeling began to bubble in the pit of his stomach, and he swallowed. He didn't like this...
Crea noticed his sudden hesitance and blinked curiously. Everyone around him seemed so...reclusive and mopey. Kind of like how Shion was when he was a kid.
"...headed home now, right?"
Shion perked up at the sound of a very familiar voice. Crimson eyes darted to and fro, searching the crowd for a familiar face. He couldn't help the grin that spread when he spotted two blondes, a bluenette, a black-haired teen and a small pink-haired girl. It was the gang! At least, some of them. Shion's heart fluttered in excitement as he pushed his way through the mass of people, Crea on his heels.
"Yes...I have a project due tomorrow. I'm sorry I can't stay longer," a familiar voice responded, and Shion almost laughed. Rchi! It was so good to hear her voice after so long.
"Good luck with that," another voice piped in, voice light and sweet. Hime!
"I don't envy you." Ares!
"Don't you have that same project though?" Foyfoy!
"Pfft! Who says I'm gonna do it?"
"You really should try to get it done, A." And even Teuffel!
"Hmmm...maybe I'll consider it if you help me!"
"Maybe I can lend a hand."
Shion stepped towards them, finally revealing himself from the crowd. Crea wore a bright, sunny smile from next to him.
They all looked towards him at once and simultaneously gasped. Rchi's hands flew up to cover her mouth, her eyes wide. Foyfoy and Hime stood there gaping at him. Ares paled considerably, and Teuffel...looked angry.
Wait, what?
"R...Ros...san?" Rchi squeaked, trembling.
"No...way..." Foyfoy breathed. He had an expression of complete disbelief.
"How...but I thought..." Hime clutched at her skirt, biting her lip.
Ares was the first to snap out of it. Her eyes narrowed at him, not dangerously, but suspiciously. "What are you doing back here?"
Shion was surprised at the tone of her voice.
She didn't sound hostile, but...maybe protective? Protective of what, though? Shion spotted Teuffel, who was barely concealing his look of absolute hatred.
Just what the hell was going on here?
Shion shuffled his feet and stared back at them. Were these really the same people he'd been friends with not too long ago?
"Came back for a visit," he started casually. "I know it's been a while...sorry for leaving without saying anything."
Teuffel released a low growl from his throat. Rchi held onto his sleeve, shaking her head.
"It's alright," Ares soothed, relaxing a little. The rest of the group followed her lead, the shock of his sudden appearance wearing off. Teuffel's expression didn't change.
"You're looking good. How have you been?" At Ares' friendly smile, Shion also relaxed.
"Pretty good," he responded evenly, sliding his hands into his pockets. "It's nice being back here, though. You guys seem to be doing well."
"Ros-san...why were you gone for so long? We all missed you," Rchi said, not removing her hand from Teuffel's sleeve. However, her smile was warm and inviting. Shion kind of wanted to hug her.
He was only starting to realize how much he missed these guys.
"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly, "it's kind of hard to explain, but...family issues, I guess. I didn't mean to leave you hanging."
"Wait a minute," Crea piped up from next to him, entering the conversation. "Ros-san? Isn't that..."
Before Shion could get a word in, Crea's eyes sparkled and he squealed happily.
"No way! Shi-tan! I can't believe you used that name! You're so cu—huohhh!" His exclamation was cut off by a well-timed punch to the gut.
"That was..." He wheezed, "...uncalled for..."
Foyfoy gazed at him curiously. "Who's that, Ros?"
"Ah, yeah," Ros slapped a hand on top of his friend's head. Crea squeaked in pain.
"This is Crea. I've known him since I was a kid. He decided to follow me here."
Crea immediately whined out, "Did not! We came here together!"
"So is he a close friend of yours?" Hime questioned, edging closer to Foyfoy.
Shion made a disgusted face. "I guess you could say that."
"Aww, Shi-tan, you meanie..."
Shion paused.
"Something's off," he noticed. "There's no retort..."
The others froze, their eyes wide. Crea stared at him, oblivious.
"Where's Hero? I haven't seen him yet."
"Bastard," Teuffel snarled, shaking with rage.
"Stop it, Teuf," Ares barked. Then, uncharacteristically, she softened. Her voice came out as a mere whisper. "He doesn't know. How could he?"
Shion stepped back. He suddenly had the intense urge to run. Run and run and never look back.
It was strange. He hadn't felt this sort of fear since...
Since Clare was hospitalized.
He couldn't put his finger on it, but ever since he arrived, he had a nagging feeling that something was terribly wrong. And now that he was here, facing his friends, while they all avoided his imploring gaze with wounded looks, he couldn't help but feel a little frightened.
Just what were they hiding from him?
A sudden drop on his head startled him out of his terrified stance. The storm had crept in while he wasn't paying attention, and it was beginning to sprinkle. Soon enough it would become a downpour. However, something told him not to escape from the rain. There was something his friends needed to tell him. He would wait patiently until they did.
"Doesn't know? Doesn't know?!" Teuffel practically roared. Shion had never seen him show so much emotion before. Was this really the same reclusive, narcoleptic shy boy he'd known before?
"This whole thing is practically his fault! If he hadn't left, Alba..."
At the mention of Alba's name, Shion tensed. "What about him?"
The others shrunk back at his demanding tone. Teuffel seemed undeterred. Actually, Shion's question only seemed to make him angrier.
"You...you..." Teuffel grit his teeth and glared fiercely at him. Suddenly, he charged forward, ripping out of Rchi's grip and dodging Ares, heading straight towards him. "You asshole!"
Shion didn't even have any time to react before Teuffel was slamming his fist into his face. He grunted in pain and fell backwards from the force of the punch. He landed in a heap on the grass, cheek already beginning to sting from the strike. Crea gasped in fear from next to him and the rest of the group watched with shocked faces.
Shion held his cheek, completely dumbfounded. Teuffel's sudden personality change had him completely speechless.
Just what the hell happened while I was gone?!
He slowly rose his gaze to meet Teuffel's and was even more surprised to see tears rolling down his cheeks. Teuffel's entire body trembled from his sobs as he stood there in the rain, which was starting to come down harder.
The other four watched their exchange, expressions betraying everything Shion had feared. Rchi cried quietly, hugging herself as the rain started to soak through her clothes. Hime was currently enveloped in Foyfoy's embrace, and the both of them were shaking. And Ares—tough girl Ares, the badass, sarcastic heroine of their group, was also crying. Her tears were silent and beautiful, trailing down her face in gentle tracks, wetting her thick blue eyelashes.
"A-all because of you," Teuffel rasped, barely managing to speak through his wails, "All because of you, Alba is...!"
No. Don't say it.
Shion started backing away, shaking his head from side to side.
Don't say it. Don't say it!
I don't believe you!
"Alba's dead!" Teuffel screamed, tangling his fingers in his hair. He shook his head back and forth in agony.
"No! You're wrong!" Shion was shocked to hear the response, mainly because it was his own. "You're lying! I don't believe your bullshit!"
"Ros-saaan," Rchi wailed, her body convulsing as she cried.
"I'm not lying! He's dead! He's dead and you killed him!" Teuffel shouted. His voice cracked.
"Teuffel!" Ares screamed in outrage and disbelief.
"This can't be happening..." Crea whispered, his shoulders shaking.
"Why the hell are you upset? You didn't even know him! Stay out of our business!" Teuffel spat, clenching his fists.
Ares started full-on sobbing. "Teuffel, stop it!"
"No! No, I won't stop!" Teuffel raised his head and yelled to the heavens. "Alba's dead! He's dead! He's dead and it's all his fault, and I won't stop until I—until I—"
Ares rushed forward and caught him before he hit the ground. He collapsed against her shoulder and sniffled weakly, unable to speak anymore. His condition was getting the best of him once again.
"Sh...Shi-tan..." Crea's voice called out to Shion quietly, but his plea passed through unhearing ears.
"I...I couldn't," Teuffel whined lowly, sounding utterly defeated, "I couldn't...do anything. I was right there, and I still..."
He let out a pitiful cry.
"I c-couldn't save him! A-Alba's dead because I c-c-couldn't do a d-damn thing! It's all my fault! It's all my—" He was hushed when Ares held him close, embracing him with all her might.
"See? He's not mad at you," she whispered harshly, her eyes meeting Shion's blank red ones. Her face was sticky with tears and rain. "He's just trying to put the blame on you because he's actually been blaming himself the entire time. But it's not his fault, either. It's nobody's fault."
"You're wrong," Rchi said quietly. Everyone's gaze flickered over to meet her.
"You're wrong," she repeated, noisily rubbing her nose with her sleeve. "It's everybody's fault. We should have been more supportive. We should have tried to get him help. We should have tried to ask him what was wrong and get him to open up to us."
She buried her face in her hands.
"B-but we were foolish and stupid," she whimpered. "We didn't even realize what he was thinking until it was too late. We should've been there for him but we couldn't do a-anything...nothing at all..."
"Oh, Rchi," Hime blubbered, leaving Foyfoy's side to wrap her in a hug.
"Alba-san's g-gone," Rchi choked. "He's gone and he's not coming b-back. Not ever..."
"But why?" Crea asked with a glance at Shion. The black-haired teen was completely unresponsive. He supposed he would have to do the questioning from here on out.
"Why did he die? What could have happened...?"
"He couldn't take it," Teuffel muttered lowly. "After everything that happened to him, he...he wasn't strong enough. He decided to run away from his problems instead of coming to us for help."
"So he..." Crea trailed off, wincing. He knew exactly what the narcoleptic teen was implying.
"We would have helped him." Foyfoy spoke up. His bangs were plastered against his forehead from the rain. "We would've done anything. We would've done everything."
Hime shook her head sadly. "There's nothing we can do now. It's too late..."
They all fell silent as the storm raged above their heads. Lightning cracked in the distance, preceded by rumbling thunder. The rain was hard and freezing, making their clothes stick to their skin and blur their vision as drops snuck into their eyes. It drove into their backs, pounding like bullets, but they didn't react. Nobody moved for a very long time, each person absorbed in their own grief. Then the spell was abruptly broken when Shion rose to his feet. Crea stared after him curiously as he began to walk away, shoes squishing in the wet grass.
"Shion?" He called out, looking worriedly after his best friend. "Shion, where are you going?"
"Leave him be," Ares murmured. Teuffel had collapsed on her shoulder, beyond exhausted. She stroked his hair soothingly. "He needs time to mourn alone. And he's going in the right direction, anyway."
Crea gazed at her, questions dancing in his eyes.
"The apple tree," Rchi finished softly. "It's where..."
Shion walked in complete silence. His shoes squished against the soaking wet grass. His thoughts were jumbled and hazy, dulled by pain and grief. There was a subconscious pull to his legs, tugging him towards a place of great importance. Maybe if he went there, he'd find Alba. Perhaps this was all a crazy insane nightmare that he needed to wake up from.
Hero wouldn't leave him. There was just no way he'd up and go without a word. Though, to be fair, Shion had done the exact same thing. He'd left Japan in such a rush to save his family, losing his phone and any way of contacting the people he used to hold so dear. He would have kept in touch with Alba, he would have! But he was so busy, working nonstop to prevent his father from ruining his life any more, reconnecting with his family and finally getting to see Crea again. He might not have had the time to talk to his friends that often anyway.
He just couldn't accept it. He couldn't believe that Alba was gone, that Alba had gone somewhere Shion couldn't reach him. What on earth had made him decide to end his life? If Shion had stayed, would things be different? If Shion had just swallowed his damn pride and told Alba that he...
He loved him. He really did.
And now he was gone.
Shion slowed to a stop, looking up and coming face to face with the swaying branches of the apple tree. This was where he'd first met Alba.
He remembered that day so well. He was still bitter and upset about his father's betrayal, pacing about the school grounds and debating on whether or not he should go to class. That's when he'd come across the apple tree. It always made him sad whenever he looked at it; when he was younger he and Crea had tried planting one together, and looking at it then brought back memories. But then he saw a sight he didn't usually see. There was a brunette standing there, eyes wide with childish wonder and almost toppling over when he gazed up into the branches and laid eyes on the sweet fruit. Shion could never forget the way Alba's face had flushed when he teased him, or his weak groans of pain when he easily landed a hit to his ribs.
This boy was absolutely perfect.
And god did Shion love teasing him! It was so damn easy to rile him up and get him bright red with anger. It almost became a hobby, an everyday pastime that Shion always looked forward to. Alba just took it all in stride, eventually realizing that Shion only ever teased out of love. Though maybe not in the literal sense. If Alba had understood Shion's love for him, maybe he'd still be...
Shion paused. The rain pelted against him, dripping from his hair and eyelashes. His eyes locked with a solid stone structure sitting at the base of the tree trunk. He inhaled sharply and walked towards it, quaking. The stone was delicately carved and surrounded by tons of flowers, giving it a peaceful yet sad appearance. Shion's legs gave out underneath him and he collapsed to his knees.
Dear god...it was a grave. And not just any grave, it was Alba's grave. Alba's. His Hero's...
Shion reached out and traced the lettering engraved in the stone, gnawing on his lower lip.
In loving memory of Alba Fruhling, 200X-201X
Beloved friend and son
Below was a sentimental quote about the new dawn and spring. That's right, "Alba" meant dawn, and "Fruhling" meant spring, right? The thought of it made Shion's heart ache something fierce.
He pulled back and sat on his haunches, staring, unseeing, at the flowers that were laid delicately about the grave. They came in all different colors and patterns, bunched together neatly in order to pay proper respects to the deceased. Shock had rendered him completely numb to everything else, and all he could do was sit and watch the rain patter down. His clothes were completely soaked through at this point and he could feel the telltale signs of a cold coming on, but he refused to move. He wasn't going to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone...
His eyes followed the trail of flowers to the trunk of the tree, which had turned black and damp from the rain. The roots twisted and turned about themselves, spreading to an unnameable distance underground. Shion tilted his head and stared harder. Why did it look like...?
No, he wasn't just imagining it, after all. There was definitely something there, hidden among the roots.
Crawling forward, Shion reached out and plucked out a folded up assortment of papers. They had been carefully stowed away as to not be found so easily, and yet Shion had spotted them right away, almost as if he was meant to.
The black-haired teen sat back and shakily unfolded the papers, which had been creased into a small square. The writing was a bit scrawled, as if the author had written it in quite a hurry. Shion inhaled sharply when he caught sight of the first line.
Ros,
Shion's hands tightened around the letter. It was from Alba.
I hope this letter finds you well. You'd probably laugh at me for saying that, but I really do hope you're doing okay.
Shion released a noise that was a half-sob half-chuckle.
I'm guessing you've figured out what's happened. And I know you're probably really really mad at me. So...I know this won't cut it, but...I'm sorry, Ros. I really am.
So much has happened in this past year that you've been gone...I don't know if the others have filled you in, but I'll tell you anyway.
After you left...I was a complete wreck. I couldn't go a day without crying. Pathetic, huh? You would have punched me and told me to man up, I know you would. But...I just couldn't. It was so hard, Ros. Not having you there...it felt like a part of me was missing. It's so strange. I haven't known you for that long, but over time you've become someone so, so important to me. It's thanks to you that I was able to smile and be myself every day. I don't know how you managed to do it, but you made me happy. Happier than I'd ever been, happier than I'd been in a long time.
But then you left. Why did you leave, Ros? I would have done anything to make you stay. You were my best friend, and I cared about you more than anyone else. You just up and left...without saying a word. I guess that's what hurt the most.
I don't know if the others have told you...but I was briefly kidnapped. Sounds totally fake, right? But no, I really was taken away, and that...person...did unspeakable things to me. The scars would have never faded away; they would have stayed forever, inside and out. And I called out for you, over and over...and you never came, you never came to get me...
Shion covered his mouth with his hand and trembled. Oh god, oh god...
But Teuffel did. Teuffel saved me. But I was dumb, and I just couldn't let you go, so I tricked myself into thinking he was you. For the longest time, I thought that Teuffel was you...
I betrayed him. I hurt him so badly, Ros. To think that he did so much for me, pretending to be you to protect my sanity and make sure I was going to be okay. God, I can't even begin to...
I can hardly bear to sit here, thinking about that night, thinking about the horrible pain and stress I've caused Teuffel and the worry I've caused my friends. More than anything else, I wanted them to be happy. I didn't want to cause them trouble. I just wanted to be with you. That's all. But I guess I took things too far this time.
So, for their sake and yours...and for myself, I'm going away.
I can't live with these memories anymore...I can't look at myself in the mirror without thinking about the knife and the scars it left behind, I can't look at Teuffel without experiencing that crushing guilt, I can't think about you without feeling like my heart is shattering over and over.
I know. I know you're mad. I should have asked for help, right? But I don't want to burden anyone. I don't want to cause anyone any trouble. I just want this pain to end.
I just want to see you again. One last time, Ros...
Shion gritted his teeth and wailed lowly.
You were wrong about me, you know. I'm no hero. The Alba that everyone needed...the "Hero"...he doesn't exist. The me that still remains...has no purpose left in this world. I don't need to be here anymore. There's just no point.
"No, no," Shion gasped. "No, Alba..."
So...this is where I say goodbye.
Shion shook his head. No...no, don't leave me!
Please don't blame yourself for this, Ros. It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault but mine. I'm just too weak to stand on my own. You can understand that, right? You always used to tease me about that. I've been such a pain. Such a pathetic excuse for nothing...
"Liar," Shion sobbed. "You liar, Hero..."
You...you're different. You're like...the sun. You bring light into people's lives, brightening the darkness and chasing away the shadows. But there are some that still remain. Those are my shadows. You shine on me, taking away some of my darkness, but you also make some of my shadows darker. Shadows are darker in the light, you see? And even with your sun, I couldn't escape from them. Yes, this is for the best, I think. This world is much better off without me. Your light is needed elsewhere. You don't need to waste it on someone like me, who can't rid himself of his shadows.
Ah, one more thing. I'm not sure if I've gotten this across properly, but I wanted so desperately to tell you before I left. I guess this is the only chance I'll get, so I'll take it, because I'm selfish.
Ros...thank you for all you've done for me.
I'll never forget the times we spent together.
Thinking about you in these last moments...makes me happy, somehow. More prepared. Whenever I think about you, I'm able to summon up more courage. Whatever lies ahead, I'll face it head on. You deserve that much, right? This reassurance?
Thank you, Ros. And please...take care of everyone for me. They need you now.
I love you.
Goodbye.
-Alba
"N...no..." Shion whispered, shaking his head once more. "No, Hero...no..."
"It's, uh, it's Alba. My name's Alba."
"This can't be happening..."
"Good morning, Ros!"
"Hero...Hero...Alba..."
"Ros!"
And in the midst of the storm, sitting alone by the grave of the boy he so desperately loved, Shion finally allowed himself to break down.
"Nngh...!" Shion held the letter close to his chest, his knuckles turning white. Tears streamed down his face, blending with the cold rain.
"Alba," he choked, shoulders trembling violently. "Alba!"
I love you.
"No—o," the teen bawled.
I love you.
You're like...the sun.
But Alba was wrong. Shion wasn't like the sun at all. He was like the moon, shining only in the darkness, chasing the sun day after day only to fall behind each time. He could never touch that light. And now that Alba, who was the real sun, was gone forever, he'd never be able to reach it.
Shadows are darker in the light, you see?
But there's no light left, Alba, Shion thought weakly. Because you're gone. You were that light. You were my...
The rain continued to pour down, drowning out the sorrows of everything it touched. It was like the sky was crying with him, sharing his emotions and thoughts. Everything seemed so hazy and muted now.
And it was then that Shion decided he'd block out the pain by feeling and saying nothing at all. He'd hide forever in the darkness, waiting for the rest of his life to touch that sunlight with his fingertips at last. He couldn't chase his sun anymore, but the least he could do was wait patiently for the chance to seek it out once again.
The sky had finally cleared, making the school grounds look half-drowned from all of the water left behind. It dripped from the branches of the trees, leaving behind clear puddles that reflected the sky.
Crea walked nervously towards the edge of the grounds, following the directions of an exhausted Teuffel in order to find where his best friend had been sulking for the past hour. Part of him hoped that Shion had taken the time to find shelter and not sit out in the rain like an idiot, but he knew deep down that this was no ordinary situation, so he had to be prepared for whatever awaited him ahead. Which was most likely a very moody, wet, and distraught Shion.
That was never ever a good combination.
"Shi-tan...?" Crea called out quietly. All he could hear was the soft pitter patter of raindrops on pavement.
Crea continued along the path, steeling himself for what he would see. Eventually he reached a small area that had a large apple tree in the center. And there, sitting with his back to him, was none other than his best friend.
Crea inhaled quietly and blinked tears out of his eyes. This place was definitely sentimental, and for many reasons. He took another quiet breath and slowly approached the unmoving figure sitting by a grave.
"Shion..."
Shion didn't move an inch. It almost seemed as if he couldn't hear Crea at all.
Crea frowned and shook his friend's shoulder gently. "Shi...Shi-tan. Um...are you doing okay?"
Again, he was met with no response whatsoever. Sighing, Crea sat down on the grass next to his friend, ignoring the way it got his pants wet. He'd been hiding out inside the school during the storm, and he was much dryer than his companion.
"So..." He swallowed. "Teuffel-kun said he's sorry for punching you."
Shion continued to stare ahead, his expression blank.
"He was just upset...well, everyone was."
The air was thick with tension and awkwardness. Crea wasn't sure how to fix it. There was rarely ever any weird silences between them, even after Crea had woken from his coma.
"Shi-tan...Shion," Crea said seriously, "I'm...so sorry. I never would have expected this to happen. I can't help but kind of blame myself for this. If...if I hadn't brought up the idea of coming back here for a visit, you never would have found out. But then I guess this is for the best too, since you might have discovered the truth years and years later, and who knows what would have happened then."
Shion's eyes looked glassy. Or maybe that was just his imagination?
"I never realized...how important Alba-kun was to you. I really, really wish I could have gotten to know him. He sounded like such a sweet and fun person to be around. I just can't imagine why he'd ever..." Crea trailed off, his voice getting thick. He swallowed and rubbed at his eyes. No, he needed to be strong for Shion. He couldn't cry, not now.
"Shion..." Crea gazed into his friend's eyes, biting his lip when he saw nothing but emptiness there.
"Hey...are you...listening?"
When his friend remained completely silent and stoic, Crea started to worry. He pulled himself around until he was sitting directly in front of the other teen.
"Shion," Crea started shakily, "this isn't your fault. You know that, right? Please, please don't blame yourself. And don't...don't keep your feelings all locked up like you always do. It's okay. This time i-it's okay to say what you really feel."
Crea couldn't help it, he started to cry. Tears flooded his vision and slid down his cheeks, one after the other.
"Shi-tan...Shi-tan...please...say something...anything..." He begged quietly.
He knew now that there was no going back; the damage was done. Even so, he still tried to grab onto whatever was left of his best friend's personality.
"Shion...why won't you say anything?!"
Shion simply remained silent, emotionless.
Crea collapsed into his friend's lap and cried.
The air was frigid and chilling, effectively keeping people cooped up inside and away from the freezing weather. Snowflakes drifted down and collected in a certain man's white hair and upon his eyelashes. The snow crunched softly beneath his feet as he plowed through the drifts of it that had gathered over the last few hours. The sky was a grayish-white, sprinkling down little flecks of snow from above. Other than the cold air and the tiny snowflakes, the teen was relatively warm, bundled up in a thick winter coat, mittens, and a scarf that hung loosely around his neck.
The man slowed to a stop and glanced up. Before him stood a large tree which had withered and died with the arrival of winter. The thick branches curled and weaved far up into the sky. His eyes followed the trunk down to the ground, where a stone structure was half-buried in snow.
Releasing a concerned noise, the man brushed off the thin layer of snow that had sat atop the grave. He reached down and shoved away another pile, revealing the name scrawled upon the stone and a bundle of now dead flowers that had been left there the day before.
With a satisfied nod and a sad sigh, the man sat down in front of the grave. He reached into his coat and pulled out his own bouquet of flowers, gazing at them forlornly.
He smiled, feeling a little bitter.
"Hi, Alba-kun."
The silence was nearly deafening. The man held out the bouquet, offering.
"I brought these for you. Teuffel-kun said your favorite flowers were lilacs. He's really good at studying people, you know? Even Shion didn't know that."
He set the flowers down near the bottom of the gravestone.
"What to say..." He murmured. "Well, first—I'm sorry for not visiting sooner. I've always been really hesitant...but today I decided I needed to stop being such a scaredy cat and come talk to you. You deserve to know what's going on nowadays, anyway. And I don't know how often the others stop by to see you."
He paused to gather his thoughts.
"To be honest...I can't believe it's been seven years since...since you passed away."
He tilted his head back and stared up at the sky. Snowflakes landed on the tip of his nose.
"A lot has changed since then. All of us have graduated, moved on. I try my best to keep in touch with all of your friends. From what I know, Shion still keeps close tabs with what they're doing. Um, let me think..."
He held up his fingers, counting them off and lowering them as he spoke.
"Teuffel-kun works with the government, I believe. He went up the ranks super fast! But now that he's in a super important position he's gotten really lazy, haha. I guess he worked so hard in order to slack off. He's actually engaged to Ares-chan, isn't that amazing? Those two get along really really well, I think. And Ares-chan is a mechanist. She works with these really super cool motorbikes! One of them even has a cannon! Man, I wish you could see it...as for Hime-chan, her father inherited a ton of money and now they live in this super huge house that looks like a castle. She's like a princess! She's been dating Foyfoy-kun for a couple years now...he hasn't proposed yet. He's probably too scared, eheh." He chuckled quietly.
"Foyfoy-kun worked tons of odd jobs for a while. I think he was trying to raise money to help out his little sister, who was in the hospital for a really long time. But now he's, um, an agent, I think? I'm not really sure. Let's see...ah, Janua-kun and Sanejima-san moved out to the country together, and now they have their own farm! They grow tons of really yummy food there. Teuffel-kun stayed with them for a summer and got really super tan."
He snickered. "It was a weird look on him. Luckily it went away after a while."
He paused, thinking. "Oh, Rchi-chan, of course! She's actually still in school right now. She's working to become a doctor. I think, after what happened with you, she wanted to try and help as many people as she could. She's...really something." His cheeks turned pink.
"Ahah, um...I really like Rchi-chan. But she has to focus on graduating first, so I'll wait a little longer before I go after her, heh. As for me, I'm thinking of becoming a vet! I've kinda been indecisive about what I want to do, but I've always loved animals. I already got all of my gen eds out of the way, so I might go back to school and take all the right classes for that."
His eyes softened and turned sad as he stared at the unresponsive stone.
"Right...you probably don't really care about any of that. You want to hear about Shion, don't you?"
He released a long, tired sigh. "Well, yes. Uh...Shion's...alright, I think. After...after he found out what happened, something about him changed. I...I don't know if it's selective or if it just applies to everybody, but..."
He fidgeted with his mittens, pulling nervously on the soft fabric. With another sigh, he finally managed to keep talking.
"Shion's...gone mute. He...he hasn't spoken a single word in years. Rchi-chan's looking into it as a research project for school—Shion doesn't seem to mind too much, though. I guess your death hit him way harder than I thought it would. For the first couple weeks, it was a challenge to even get him to eat. He was probably really intent on following after you back then. He...he really loved you, Alba-kun. He—he still does."
Crea covered his face with a gloved hand. His throat worked through the thick tears that threatened to clog his voice.
"U-um," he stuttered, swallowing a bit. "S-sorry. It's just...I really wish things had turned out differently, Alba-kun. Nothing will ever go back to being the way that it was. I mean, Shion's okay, he's—he smiles more often than he used to, which is good. Really good! He's definitely improved over the past couple years, despite being unable to speak to anyone. S-sometimes we'll write things back and forth, but he usually prefers to stick to silence. It's...been really hard dealing with that. I've known Shion for almost my whole life, and he was always such an expressive person...god, the things he could say to get somebody riled up! He probably said tons of mean things to you, Alba-kun. He's always had a bit of a silver tongue, but he never means any of it. Deep down, he's a really nice guy. I hope you know that."
Crea shook his head a bit, dislodging the bits of snow that clung to his bangs. It was coming down a little thicker.
"After he found out about you...he refused to go back home. His mom had to fly out and drag him back. She was furious! And also...really upset. She cried for days and begged Shion to say something. But he's a stubborn mule, so he kept his mouth shut. Eventually Cecily-san decided to move out here so Shion could be with his other friends. And me too, of course! I came with them, since I've been living with Shion's family for a while. Shion's little brother Lake-kun goes to high school here with Rchi-chan's little sister Lym-chan...and Lake-kun has a boyfriend, his name is Salt-kun! So...so everything is...okay. I think."
He inhaled sharply, suddenly remembering something important. He winced a bit at the thought.
"Ah, um...it might make you upset to hear about this, but I need to say it. Elf November...he was the one who kidnapped you, right? Apparently you were his first...v-victim, and after that he went around and did so many awful things...from what I've heard from rumors, it all started when he got into a really nasty fight with his best friend, Alf Parkington...I guess he took things too far and he kinda just...went off the rails. But—it's all alright now, the police caught him and put him in jail, he'll never hurt anyone ever again! So you can rest assured about that."
He puffed out a breath of air, watching as it emerged in a white trail.
"Oh—Shion's a teacher, did you know that? He works with deaf children, which goes pretty well with his muteness. He's a pro at sign language! It's tough keeping up with him sometimes, he can sign so fast. That's, um, another way we can communicate with each other. So don't worry, it's not like Shion has completely shut himself away from everyone. He really is trying his best, despite you being gone."
Crea pulled out his phone and checked the time, clicking his tongue.
"Sorry, Alba-kun. I should probably get going. Shion's making soup for dinner, there's no way I'm missing that! His cooking is really really tasty." He rose to his feet, erupting into violent shivers. Snow fell off of him in clumps.
He gave a small smile to the grave. "It was good talking to you. It's not weird for me, since I'm always around someone who never answers, haha."
His eyelids lowered.
"Alba-kun...I really wish I could have gotten to know you. We probably would have been great friends. We...have to stick together, you know? Because nobody else can look after Shion as well as we can, right?"
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. The snow falling from above started to fall faster. There was a storm approaching.
Crea started off for home, holding back a sneeze. Man, he was going to get the lecture of his life when he got back...his cheeks had endured so much torture already, since Shion was fond of pulling on them.
He shot one last glance to the grave behind him.
"See you, Alba-kun."
Crea was greeted with delicious smells and the warm atmosphere of his apartment when he arrived back. He hurriedly shed his coat, mittens and scarf, hanging them up on the rack near the door. Kicking off his boots, he called out his best friend's name while shaking extra bits of snow off of his clothes.
"Shi-tan? I'm baaaack!"
He smiled when a black-haired man emerged from the kitchen area, looking faintly surprised. Shion raised an eyebrow at Crea, who chuckled quietly, able to read his expressions easily by now.
"Yeah, it's been a while since I've used that nickname, huh?"
Shion came over and swept him up into an affectionate hug, tugging on his cheek gently as if to say, You're freezing, what were you doing out there? Crea giggled and snuggled into his friend's embrace.
"Mmhm. I know, I know. Sorry."
Shion pointed to the kitchen and padded over there in his bare feet, Crea following him eagerly.
"Soup tonight?"
Shion nodded. He leaned over to check on the progress of their dinner, nodded in satisfaction, and hurriedly grabbed a rather aged stack of papers on the table and folded them neatly.
Crea frowned. "Shion, what's that? I've never seen it before..."
Shion bit his lip and shrugged, not really keen on revealing the truth. He slid the papers into his pocket, patting it a couple times. His crimson eyes looked wistful and sad.
"Okay, okay, I won't ask again," Crea held up his hands in defense and sat at the table. "Bring on the food, I'm starving!"
Shion laughed soundlessly and started serving up that night's meal.
Later, after Crea had retired to bed, Shion curled up in the chair by his desk and smoothed out the papers he'd hidden earlier. The words were faded and the paper worn from years and years of use, but they were always handled gently and carefully. His fingers traced down the lines written on the page, eyes stinging a little.
Shion stopped when his fingertips rested on a sentence, something that had stuck with him for years. His lips twitched upward in the beginnings of a somewhat bittersweet smile.
Shadows are darker in the light, you see?
Shion closed his eyes.
Yes, he thought mutely, yes.
And...fin.
Thank you, everyone! I'm so glad you decided to stick with me until the very end. But don't worry, the promised bonus chapter is still in the works, and I have tons of other cute Senyuu fluff oneshots I'm going to write. There will be no angst. This story has enough to last you a lifetime, haha!
For now, if you have any interest in Mother 3 or Gravity Falls, please be sure to check out the stories I'm writing/have written for those! Most of them are over on AO3, so just follow the link there from my bio and you should be good.
If I get enough support, I'll put a halt on those and work on Senyuu oneshots instead! How does that sound? And of course the bonus chapter is very important too! That one will take a while since it spans the entire timeline of this story, so I have to cram 15 chapters into one. I cannot say when it will be finished, but I'll say before the end of this summer for sure. At least that gives me some time to work on it, right?
Ahh, I feel so very satisfied...I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever get this done, but lo and behold, here we are at last. It feels so good to finish something like this for once. I can't even begin to count the number of unfinished stories I have on my computer. There's well over 200, I'm sure.
Well, this is goodbye for now! We'll part for realsies next time, haha. Please be sure to R&R but don't roast me too much, okay? XD
Thank you all so so so much! Until next time!