Chapter Eleven

Allucia was released to her quarters later the next day. She knew it was a matter of time before Chakotay showed up to talk. In fact, she figured he'd show up right after his duty shift ended.

And show up he did. Exactly five minutes after Beta Shift ended, Allucia's door chirped. He wasn't anything, if not punctual. "Come in, Commander," she tiredly called. She was lying on the couch staring into space, with an afghan thrown over her legs.

"How did you know it was me?" Chakotay asked cordially, coming in.

"I knew you were going to come."

"So you know why I'm here."

"Yes."

"So do you want to talk?"

"Not particularly."

Chakotay knew this would happen, so he decided to start off simple. "What happened to your hair?" he asked, sitting down at the far end of her couch.

Allucia's face twisted into a grotesque, pained mask for a moment, then slipped into a Vulcan one. "Ain't it obvious? I'z hacked it off." she snapped.

Chakotay frowned. "Why?" The commander immediately noticed that her Brooklyn accent had suddenly returned, but he knew it was her defense mechanism.

"It was buggin' me."

The first officer sighed. "Allucia."

"Whaaaa?" she whined. "This is a waste of time. Let me deal with me myself."

"I don't think so." Chakotay looked at Allucia as well as her words. On the outside she may be harsh and bitter, but inside hid a frightened little girl.

They went on for three hours like that, the perfect stalemate. Chakotay, the eternally patient one; Allucia the Klingon-stubborn one.

Then, nearing the end of the first half of the third hour, without warning, Allucia burst out crying. She brought her knees to her chest in an attempt to stifle the sobs, but it was to no avail.

After a moment, Chakotay arose from his seat and knelt next to the couch and put a hand on her convulsing shoulder. She surprised him by crumpling onto him. He put his arms around her, enveloping her in a hug, rocking her gently until she fell asleep and the sobs subsided.

Chakotay walked into Sandrine's that night with a heavy heart. He was meeting Kathryn for dinner (that made his heart beat a little faster, though), but had a feeling he wasn't going to enjoy himself as much as he usually would.

He sat in an empty booth and reflected on his time with Allucia. The poor child was obviously traumatized by what happened to her. He was also unsure as to why she was so closemouthed about it. And it seemed she was still homesick too; having no family. She clung to Tom whenever possible; from what he was saying, apparently they had grown closer and regarded each other as brother and sister. It made sense, they were both loners in their own regards. But they had made progress in their first session. Chakotay was thinking how to proceed when a voice interrupted.

"Chakotay... hellooo..." Kathryn was waving her hand in front of Chakotay's face.

"Huh?" Chakotay said, snapping out of his thoughtful repartee. "Oh, sorry. I was reflecting on my time with Allucia."

"How did it go?" Kathryn inquired. The first officer let out a long drawn out sigh. Kathryn arched her eyebrows as she rested her elbows on the table and rested her face in her hands. "That bad?"

"No, just frustrating." he said. He wasn't going to say anything else; counselor-patient privacy. Kathryn nodded; she knew this. Then the commander did one of his mood switches, remembering the object of his affections was sitting in front of him. "Now, shall we order dinner?" Chakotay said with a smile and a wink.

"But of course," Kathryn said, smiling back. "You know, with all these dinners we have together, neither of us are going to have any rations left."

"Well, if you didn't spend all your rations on coffee, you would have more left." Chakotay said. "Maybe you should try Neelix's coffee substitute. It's pretty potent stuff."

"Don't tell me you drink that stuff." Kathryn said incredulously.

"How do you think I make it bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to the Bridge every morning?"

Kathryn frowned thoughtfully. "Hmmmmm. I see." She laughed, leaning back into the leather padding of the booth. "I think I'll pass," she said, as Sandrine walked up to take their orders.

Chakotay smiled, hearing Kathryn's laugh. He just wished he could tell her how he felt about her; but he knew she wasn't ready. If ever.

Allucia snuck out of her quarters and headed for the Holodeck. It was very late, or extremely early, depending on the point of view; no one saw the decimated girl walking the corridors. Once in front of Holodeck Two, she loaded her new holo-program and entered.

Her pajamas were suddenly covered with the gear of a hockey player and the slippers to ice skates as she glided onto the ice of an indoor rink. "Computer, add team Annihilators," Allucia commanded.

"Not so fast, Miss Banks." came an all-too-familiar sardonic voice from behind her.

The teenager twirled around on her skates, ignoring the fantastic pain in her hip. "Whaddaya mean, not so fast?" she snapped.

"I mean you are just recovering from several injuries, many severe. You may hurt yourself further. Additionally, I programmed the computer inform me if you activated any holo-programs without the safeties on." the Holo-Doc said.

"Think I care?" she replied, skating backwards a bit.

"You should," the Doc said, taking a step and slipping on the ice a little. "You could injure yourself even more severely."

Allucia started slowly skating in circles around the Doctor. "And what if I said I wanted to get hurt?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. "Computer, deactivate EMH and send him back to Sickbay."

"Now just a damn―" he said, cut off as he shimmered out of sight. Allucia called for the arch and began to hack into the system and made it so the hologram couldn't come back to bug her. At least for a few minutes.

Then the ensign looked around and changed her mind about the program, deciding to switch to another one she'd been working on. She activated the program.

This time it was a banked roller derby track. Her hockey gear changed back to her pajamas and her ice skates to roller skates. She began to skate, pumping her legs as hard as she possibly could in her condition, ignoring the pain it was causing.

"Computer, end program."

Allucia went to twirl around but stumbled, with the holo-skates disappearing under her feet. Indignant, she stood up. "You! How did―"

Chakotay leaned against the open door frame, crossing his arms. "You're lucky I got here first. Tuvok won't catch on for another few minutes."

The teenager let out an exasperated cross between a sigh and a growl. "Why can't you just leave me alone?!" she yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.

Chakotay stood up straight and walked a few steps closer, the holodeck door vrooming closed behind him. "Because you need help, and you know it. You just won't admit it."

"Yeah, well, you don't know shit!" she said shrilly, making a dismissive gesture. Then she bolted out of the holodeck, slipping through the doors when they had opened a foot. Chakotay shook his head in frustration as he left to follow her.

He followed her down the hall to the turbolift, and caught up with Allucia just as the turbolift doors were closing. Chakotay neatly slid in, the doors closing behind him, even though they wouldn't have closed on him.

"Deck Six," Allucia said, glaring at Chakotay. But he noticed that the usual fire in her eyes wasn't there. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" she repeated.

"Halt turbolift." Chakotay stood up straight. "I already told you. When are you going to accept that we care about you?"

"I don't need any help!" she screamed. With that, she swirled around and slammed her fist into the turbolift wall. It was either that or the first officer.

Chakotay jumped. He certainly hadn't expected her to do that. Meanwhile, Allucia whimpered and fell to her knees, cradling her arm, but didn't cry out. For the first time since she regained consciousness in Sickbay, the noise in her head was dulled. The commander spoke softly. "At least let me take you to Sickbay." Allucia nodded; she was in too much pain to disagree. Chakotay felt compelled to look at the wall that had received her punch as he helped her to her feet. His eyes widened at the sight of a slight dent. "Deck Five," he said, shaking his head in awe.

"Judging by the frequency of your visits, I would say that you are here more often than Mr. Paris," the Doctor said. "Or Ms. Torres." He was running a bone regenerator over Allucia's hand; she had broken every finger, fractured her wrist, and dislocated her elbow yet again when her fist had encountered the turbolift wall.

Allucia rolled her eyes, then shut them. She was laying down on the biobed, tear stains still streaking her face. "Can I go now?"

"No. You are staying overnight this time; I don't trust you to leave on your own." the Doc replied callously.

That did it. Allucia moved to jump off the biobed and leave Sickbay. She didn't know where she was going to go, but she knew she had to get out. She felt suffocated and closed in. But the Doctor and Chakotay were faster, the Commander having told the CMO what to expect while the ensign was still dazed with pain. Chakotay grabbed Allucia around the waist as she went to jump off the bed, and the Doctor simultaneously got her at the neck with a hypospray loaded with a potent sedative. The girl immediately collapsed back onto the biobed unconscious.

"I do believe we should contact the Captain." the Doc said.

"That's an understatement." Chakotay muttered. Even B'Elanna wasn't this bad.

When Kathryn entered Sickbay just before Alpha Shift began at Chakotay's request, she was startled to see Allucia unconscious on a biobed. She sent the Doctor and Chakotay a puzzled and alarmed look as they exited the hologram's office.

"We had to restrain and sedate her," the Doc explained. "She was being very uncooperative."

"What happened?" Kathryn asked, very concerned.

"While attempting to elude me, she punched a turbolift wall." Chakotay put in.

"And dented it." the Doctor added.

The captain stood there aghast and totally confused, to say the least. First of all, she could not believe Allucia behaving irrationally, enough that she would have to be sedated. Secondly, she punched a wall? Those turbolift walls are made of pure duranium and Allucia actually dented it?

"Kathryn, we need to talk. About Allucia." Chakotay said. "Whatever happened to her down on that planet, has obviously hurt her more emotionally than physically. I thought that you, as Captain, should be informed of her condition."

"And it's getting worse," the Doctor said, "from what I can tell. She isn't eating or taking care of herself. She has lost even more weight since she has returned, and I frankly don't understand how she has the strength to even walk." The Doctor and the Commander went on to tell Kathryn of the circumstances that brought her to Sickbay.

After they had finished, Kathryn went into the Doctor's office and sat down in his chair with the hologram and first officer trailing behind. She needed to sit down. She put a thumb to her chin and two fingers to her temple, feeling a headache coming on. This was just too much. "What do you recommend, Commander?" the captain finally said, quietly.

"I'm the closet thing Voyager has to a counselor. And I did minor in psychology at the Academy." Chakotay said. "I'd like to keep talking to her."

"Why don't you ask Tom to talk to her?" Kathryn suggested. "They were down there together, after all."

"I've been thinking about that. I don't want to burden him, but I'll still talk to him."

Kathryn nodded. "Good. I'm sure you'll find that Tom will be happy to help. Just please keep me informed."

"We will Captain―" the Doc broke off as he quickly left the office. Allucia's sedative was wearing off. She let out a shriek when she realized she was being held down by a restraining field.

Chakotay and Kathryn immediately followed. The Doctor was telling her that if she didn't calm down, he was going to have to sedate her again. He already had the hypospray ready in his hand. After thirty more seconds of unsuccessfully trying to convince the teenager to calm down, he had to use it.

"As you can see Captain..." the Doc began, and trailed off knowing the rest was better left unsaid.

Kathryn nodded, her eyes wide. "How much longer until this dosage wears off?"

"Approximately eight hours." the Doctor replied.

"I'll be back here with Chakotay then." Kathryn said. Chakotay nodded in acknowledgment. "Doctor, inform me immediately if anything else should occur."

"Aye Captain." the Doc replied.

"Until then, I'll be in my Ready Room." Kathryn turned and walked out of Sickbay.