Heavy – Loneliness
Heavy was an Autophobic.
He could never stand the thought of being alone, even it seemed like a short time. There was even a point that if he even felt that no one else could see him or even acknowledge he was there, the same terrible feeling would bubble up in the pit of his stomach…
That's why he stayed near the Medic.
The Russian always felt at ease with the smaller yet older German man, as he was the first person he became friends with and would always be ready to assist the doctor. When the Medic was absent, he would hesitantly find someone else to be with.
It started when he was young.
He had always been tall and chubby when he was a schoolboy, so the others often tried to ignore his existence and they had succeeded easily. It only seemed to increase as he got older; everyone seemed more and more determined to ignore him.
Then he was thrown into a gulag.
He could recall how he had been forced to work for what seemed like endless hours of the day, the only company being fellow work-worn skeletons and stone-eyed soldiers that would bark at them for not being fast enough or thorough. He never saw his mother or sisters; he felt like he was in a lonely cage with the possibility of death hanging above him.
Even so, he would always feel like everyone saw him as a waste of space.
At his age of 31, he still had what others would see as a child's mentality when it came to his 'clingy' behaviour. But he felt that if they knew what had happened, they would be able to understand why he acted in such a way.
But a thought would always strike him, an icy dagger to the heart.
Maybe he would be alone in the end, no matter what…
~*~
"Herr Heavy, must you follow me like a stray puppy?" Medic asked, slightly annoyed at the Russian following him.
Heavy shrugged a little. "I wanted to help doctor." He responded, a smile on his face.
The German rolled his eyes. "Dummkopf… I'm only doing a patrol; I do not need assistance now." With that, he began to walk off with syringe gun in hand.
Heavy felt dread rise up in him, that awful feeling coming up in his stomach. Ws the Medic ignoring him? He wouldn't do that! The Russian started to feel like he was the only person there, all of the ignorance that was placed against him coming back.
"We go together, doctor!" he shouted, running up to the German in question. He wanted the feeling to go away, he wanted to feel that someone was there.
Medic finally sighed as he stopped in his tracks."Alright then… come along."
"Da, doctor!"
Heavy walked alongside the German, feeling at ease now that he had someone to be with, so he wouldn't be alone.
Why couldn't it always be this way?
Next:
Spy