Prompt 10: Stranger

Crossover: Glee/Charmed

Chris Halliwell, lately of the future but currently walking the planet before his actual birth, stood in his mother's attic, head hanging in shame. He was long used to suffering Piper's wrath these past few months – the fact that your own mother had no inkling you were her child on top of her not liking you very much was a lot to bear – but this time he welcomed it.

Okay, so, yes, he could have been more discreet. Yes, he absolutely should have been more responsible. Yes, he should be setting a better example for his little brother. Or his big brother. Whatever.

Time travel was a bitch.

What he didn't understand was why Piper was so upset about this. It made no sense!

Neither did Paige just standing there, her head swiveling back and forth like she was watching a tennis match while on meth.

He hadn't even really been doing anything, and certainly nothing wrong. Since when was kissing – okay, amazing kissing which had curled his toes and frozen every part of his body but his mouth and cock – a crime?

He shouldn't have been doing it in Piper's house. Fine. As far as she knew, it was her house, not theirs. He shouldn't have been making out with some random and hot guy while he supposed to have been babysitting Wyatt.

Wait.

Wait.

Oh.

"You're mad because I'm gay?" Chris bellowed, anger heavy in his voice and eyes, his face flushing and a throbbing vein appearing in the center of his forehead.

Piper stared at him for a moment, jaws agape, before stomping over to the window and making a grand arm gesture that would put the best Price is Right model to shame.

"See that?" she demanded. "That's San Francisco, Chris. Welcome!" She sneered. "I don't care that you're gay. I've had gay friends my entire life. High school would have been even more horrific if not for my boys. Prue had tons of gay friends. So do Paige and Phoebe. I am okay with the gay! If Wyatt or any subsequent theoretical children of mine were gay, I'd be the first in the Pride Parade lineup and I'd blast into orbit anyone who looked at them cross-eyed!"

His flush was now one of relief and pride rather than anger.

"What is all the yelling about?" asked a breathless Phoebe as she ran into the room. "I can hear you outside, Piper! And who's gay?"

"I don't care," Piper screamed, "and apparently Chris is!"

Phoebe gaped at her, then at Chris, before staring down at the floor, wincing as she recalled the slight crush she'd developed for their new whitelighter when he arrived those months ago. Now that she knew he was Piper's son, that lapse in judgment was even more ghastly.

But how awesome! Gay nephew! Bonus!

She couldn't wait to take him shopping, because he dressed like a schlub and was in need of a serious makeover. Chris was that rare combination of adorable and hot. He shouldn't have to go without. In fact, that was probably why he was so bitchy all the time.

If she had known he was gay, she could have been hooking him up with various studs for months and living vicariously through his experiences! As any good aunt would.

"So what's the problem?" asked an exasperated Chris. "Yes, I admit I should have acted more responsibly with Wyatt in my care, but he was down for the night. He didn't see anything. And all we were doing was kissing!"

Phoebe frowned. "That's it? Jeez, Piper. So Chris was kissing another man, so what? That's no excuse for this nuclear holocaust you're unleashing."

Piper narrowed her eyes and glared. "Well, there are several issues, Phoebe. The first of which is that Chris was defiling not another man, but a boy."

Phoebe swung her gaze from Piper to Chris. "What?" she hissed.

"Oh, my god!" Chris exclaimed. "He wasn't a boy!"

Piper sighed and covered her eyes with a hand. "Chris, I don't know the rules where you're from, but here, it's frowned upon when a twenty-something grown man is making out – and that barely describes what you two were doing – with a sixteen-year-old boy!"

Paige choked.

Phoebe punched his shoulder. Hard. "Not cool!"

Chris threw his hands up in the air. "He's not sixteen!"

"How do you know?" Piper said quietly. "Did you ask him his age?"

Chris faltered. "Well … no." He then shook his head. "But that doesn't mean anything. You saw him. He's gorgeous, very intelligent with a biting wit, and I can tell you there's no way I was his first kiss. And his clothes …"

"Wait!" Paige barked, holding up a hand. "You did not just use the he asked for it because of how he was dressed defense, did you?"

Chris was horrified. "No! I … what is happening? I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Piper, how do you know the boy was sixteen?" Phoebe calmly asked.

"Because I know him," her sister replied, "and so do you. It was Kurt."

Phoebe startled. "Kurt?" she blankly repeated. "Kurt who?" She gave Chris the side-eye. "Piper, I know you don't mean our cousin Kurt, because he is only sixteen and his father hasn't allowed us to see him for ten years and he wasn't supposed to arrive for another week. Because I don't want to think about our whitelighter making out with an underage blood relation.

"So, not that Kurt, right?"

"Wrong," Piper said flatly. "That Kurt. I, of course, overreacted and Kurt fled into the night. I don't know where he is, how he is, and I don't have his phone number to call and find out. I certainly don't want to call his father, because that man, mortal or no, would probably reach through the phone and snap my neck."

Chris felt all of the blood in his body rush to his feet, ironically turning them to blocks of ice and causing him to sway.

Mom – no, Piper – had to be wrong. She just had to be wrong!

There was absolutely no way he had made out with his Uncle Kurt, who, yeah, was technically Mom – Piper's – cousin. It just wasn't possible. The math didn't work. Kurt was half Piper's age, and Wyatt and Chris himself were half Kurt's age, so …

Oh. Holy. Fuckballs.

No.

Nooooooooooo!

He had made out with Uncle Kurt!

And Piper was right: making out hardly covered it. When she had interrupted them, he and Kurt had been about five seconds away from full-on intercourse, if not at least what would probably been the most amazing blowjob Chris had ever received in his life.

Not that he'd had that many, but Kurt was gorgeous and sexy, even at sixteen. And of course Kurt had been the only guy to grab his attention during this miserable trip to the past. The only guy with whom Chris had wanted to have sex with and, yeah, possibly something more.

How could he have not recognized Uncle Kurt? Well, the man he knew as Uncle Kurt was taller, a little more built, leaner, voice was slightly deeper, didn't dress as fabulously, was definitely not as shy …

But the eyes. The skin. The lips.

And, yeah, okay, Chris had noticed Uncle Kurt's stupendous ass on more than one occasion. That ass might have even started his own sexual awakening, but he had been young and it wasn't like he had actually ever fantasized about Uncle Kurt.

Not really.

Okay, maybe he had thought, on occasion, about Uncle Kurt and Uncle Mike and Uncle Sam and what went on in their bedroom. Twice, maybe. Fifty seven times at a maximum.

He bit his lip and suppressed the whine trying to escape his throat as his brain and cock recalled that absolutely amazing ass which Kurt had apparently always possessed and that Chris himself could now never experience. Because incest.

… even if Kurt and Piper were, like, fourth cousins.

Incest was wrong. Right?

Even if you were both dudes. Right?

Fucking time travel!

Why couldn't he have nice things? Pretty things with big dicks and hot asses?

Why was the entire fucking universe trying to cockblock him?!

As Piper paced the attic and worried about finding Kurt, as a seething Phoebe slapped Chris upside his head and hissed vows of retribution, as Chris was mortified and humiliated and still horny as fuck, Paige merely stood there, a look of confusion plain on her face.

"Who's Kurt?"