Happy Holidays, my gift to you all is an update :)
*Flashbacks in this chapter shed light on more of what transpired in Tengoku Village.
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-o0o-
Itachi's head lowered to his, eyes open, almost daring him to look away. He wasn't smiling, didn't look triumphant, contemplative more than anything. His look was predatory, determined, the focus more than a man who was about to have sex...this was primal. He was going to make his mark on Neji.
The space between them was charged, like that little space between magnets, forced close together. The very molecules between them buzzing.
Then Itachi kissed him endlessly, and with each exhale Neji climbed higher, wound tighter. And somewhere in the midst of his growing need he recognized the deliberateness of Itachi's actions. That with each exhale he was a little closer, increasing the pressure of his erection against his own, so that he was closer and closer to the edge of orgasm - without doing much of anything.
In some distant part of him, Neji knew that he was teaching him a lesson; proving to him that he could bring him over the edge with only the barest of effort. Even now Itachi was scheming, ensuring he understood how much pleasure he could give him. More than any other man ever could.
His hands fisted into Neji's hair at the nape of his neck. A sign of his possession. It also reminded him how easy it would be for Itachi to hurt him. Physically. Emotionally.
Maybe that was what love is.
Itachi continued to kiss him, demanding he open to him. And Neji did, twining his arms around his neck, relaxing every part of his body. Itachi pulled back from the kiss and looked at him fiercely, the words barely above a whisper. "You will want no one else." He promised in between agonizingly slow thrusts. "When I'm done with you, you will be ruined for other men."
'He could hurt me anytime he wants. That's what love is', Neji's mind whispered as though it were a coy secret. He'd throw everything away for him if he wasn't careful. No family, no white picket fence, just a destructive love that would end in death.
Picture a world without Itachi Uchiha.
Who would ever want to live in a world like that? There was nothing beyond him.
Pain tore him from his sleep like a knife ripping through his heart. Neji's eyes flew open as he choked on a gasp. He couldn't drag air in his lungs, the feeling of drowning overcoming him for a moment, as his mouth opened and closed like a fish. Shutting his eyes tightly, he commanded his body to relax. There was a beeping noise in the distance and the sound of hurried foot steps. When he felt a hand on his shoulder he instinctively flinched.
"Neji?"
With his breathing more stable, he cracked his eyes open. Through blurry vision he stared at the person that had touched him.
"Father..." He tried to clear his throat and winced. It was so dry and it ached whenever he inhaled. Again he cleared his throat, his vision becoming clearer the more he blinked. The person standing next to him wasn't who he previously assumed him to be. "Uncle." He confirmed, the hint of disappointment in his voice did not go unnoticed.
Hiashi frowned, and gave his shoulder another gentle squeeze. "I'll go get the doctor."
Neji felt himself nod jerkily. Not smooth but as though his bones had rusted together like a tin man. Once his uncle was out of the room the man's words finally registered.
The doctor? Grimacing, he finally looked around the room and noticed the stark white walls. He closed his eyes again; eyes as dark as obsidian were staring back at him. Snapping them open, his memories came rushing back. Neji clutched the fabric of the hospital gown that was near his heart. There was a deep, painful sob lurking in his chest. It felt like a baseball shoved in his throat, and he tried to keep it inside, swallowing it back.
Itachi tried to -
"Neji," A friendly voice greeted. "Glad to see that you are awake."
Neji released his hold on the hospital gown and dropped his hand to his lap. The doctor approached him with a sincere smile on his face and sat at the foot of his bed.
Gently, he patted his leg. "I'm Dr. Iruka Umino. How are you feeling?"
How am I feeling? The person that I carelessly fell in love with tried to kill me. How do you think? Absently, Neji reached for his throat, brushing his fingers against the skin he could tell that it was bruised. He just didn't know the severity of the injury.
Besides the fact that his throat was slightly sore and he felt groggy, everything else seemed fine - physically. Emotionally, he felt ripped open, as if his nerves were on the outside of his body and even the air in the hospital room was too abrasive.
Because his uncle was also in the room, he decided to tell them what they wanted to hear. "I'm fine."
Hiashi and Dr. Umino shared a look; they knew that he was lying. He prepared himself to retaliate if either one of them decided to call him out on it. His uncle decided to break the silence first. There was a certain look about him today that was contradictory to his usually formal demeanor. Hiashi had bags under his eyes and he looked much older than he really was.
"Neji," Hiashi paused as if he was carefully thinking over his next words. "Do you remember anything?"
Briefly closing his eyes, he instantly wished that he hadn't. Itachi was there; kissing him, caressing him and then choking him -killing him.
Neji jerked back and blinked fast, hoping tears wouldn't slide down his cheek. "No, I don't remember anything. Could you fill me in?" He asked numbly.
Dr. Umino stood up; he was attractive despite the long scar across his nose. There was a soothing quality about him; as if he could bring tranquility to any distressed setting.
"The local authorities received a call earlier this morning reporting a disturbance at your apartment." Dr. Iruka flipped through the pages on his clipboard. "When the police arrived they found you on your couch. Initially they assumed you were dead and your uncle was notified. When your uncle arrived on the scene he -"
"I knew that you weren't dead." Hiashi interrupted. "It was a Tenketsu technique, but an unorthodox one that our clan doesn't tamper with. When I noticed this I personally dismissed the authorities and brought you here."
"Where exactly is here?" Neji asked. He had so many questions but decided to go with the easier one first. The fact that Itachi only used a technique to render him unconscious did not lessen the feeling of betrayal even in the slightest.
"Here - would be my home, Neji." Iruka smiled.
"Your home?" He glanced around the room that was an exact replica of the hospital rooms at Konoha General.
"Neji, Dr. Umino only caters to certain clientele. That isn't really what's important. What is important is us finding out who did this to you." Hiashi stated.
"I told you that I don't remember anything." Neji didn't understand why he was covering for Itachi. Did love make you stupid? There was no use in denying it anymore. Neji Hyuga was in love with Itachi Uchiha. The same ass-hat that choked the shit out of him hours ago. Sarcasm had always been his favorite shield against emotional pain.
Taking a breath to calm his building anger, Hiashi had to remind himself that short-term memory loss was also a side effect to the technique. He just wanted to find out who did it so he could take care of them. If Madara or one of his delinquents had anything to do with it there would be no mercy.
"How about we allow Neji some time to himself." Iruka spoke up as if he could sense the tension in the room. "As your uncle previously stated it was only a method to render you unconscious. Other than the bruise on your neck, you are perfectly fine - physically." He added and Neji realized that Iruka knew more than he let on. "I'll bring you something to eat in a few."
"Neji, we will talk later." Hiashi assured him before he walked out of he room with Dr. Umino.
Once they were gone and the door was shut, Neji threw the covers back. Grimacing, he climbed out of the bed and headed to the joined bathroom. His legs felt as if he had been wading in a swimming pool for hours, but it was bearable enough to walk the short distance. Walking into the bathroom, he avoided looking in the mirror and handled his business. Afterwards, he washed his hands - still not looking at his reflection in the mirror. He wasn't quite ready to see the proof of Itachi's treachery.
One part of him argued that it wasn't really a betrayal, that if Itachi wanted to kill him he would be dead. The more rational side saw it for what it really was. If Itachi wanted to knock him out he could have done so in a less violent way; in a way that would leave no bruises. Instead, he used one of the most violent techniques ever. Itachi wanted to hurt him in more ways than one and he succeeded.
As for the man's true motives for what he did, Neji had came to two conclusions: Itachi was fucking insane and preyed on unsuspecting men. Or Itachi wanted to scare him; probably to push him away or something along those lines.
When he was back in bed, Neji lightly chuckled, ignoring the pain that came with it. That bastard did warn him that he could hurt him; physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was his own fault for being so weak - so vulnerable. Itachi was more than likely off to his next victim, the thought of their night in Tengoku far from his mind.
And I will never get over him.
That was the brutal inescapable truth. He was like a crippling disease. Even if he attempted to have a normal life, he would dream of him, remember him, and want him. For the briefest moment, he wished he'd never saw the dark side of Itachi and he could have loved him blindly. But the mere thought of it was madness.
Being in love sucked. He felt the certain urge to punch every single person that ever told him that loving someone was great. Shikamaru with his idiotic idealism about love, his father and Hinata-
Neji frowned at his bitter thoughts. How could he even think about something like that? They had nothing to with how things turned out with...he who must not be named. The Uchiha was the only person who deserved his wrath. Balling up his fist, he gritted his teeth as his anger flowed off of him in waves. Nobody else would ever get that close to him again, he vowed. That was the last time that he was made a fool of; especially over something as mundane as love.
However, there always came a point where that flame of rage ran out of oxygen. Became a smolder and then nothing but black smoke.
-o0o-
"He's hiding something." Hiashi confirmed.
Early that morning during breakfast was when he received the call about Neji. It took a lot of convincing for Hinata to not come with him. Hiashi smiled at the memory of his older daughter standing up to him and even threatening him if she couldn't come along. He would admit that he had never been so proud of her. Seeing so much passion and fierceness made him realize that he had misjudged Hinata.
Apparently, that wasn't the only thing that he had been wrong about.
"I agree," Iruka commented. "But I doubt it's what you think."
"What do you mean?"
Iruka continued to stir the miso soup on the stove while he answered. "I have already confirmed that there is no physical damage to your nephew besides the bruising on his neck. His pain stems from emotional distress. We are both aware that he is not completely telling us the whole truth and I don't honestly think that this was an attack by Madara. If it were - excuse me for saying this, but Neji would be dead."
"I am aware." Hiashi admitted bitterly. "So you think that it was a friend of his?"
"Not a friend. A lover."
Scoffing, Hiashi crossed his arms in a stubborn gesture. "Neji isn't involved with anyone. He's too focused for that. Besides he knows that any relationship that I haven't agreed on would never fly."
Iruka nodded his head in agreement to the last statement. After tasting the soup, he turned the stove off and started to fix a bowl. "Would you like any?" He asked.
"No thank you. How much do I owe you?"
"The usual amount."
"I will have it wired to you." Hiashi watched the man move around the kitchen as he prepared dinner for Neji. "Have you heard anything from Hokage-sama?"
"Yes, she has her best man on the job."
"Who would that be exactly?"
Iruka faced him and smiled. "My fiance."
"What are you up to, Itachi?"
Sasori watched impassively as the red light on the map remained in the same spot. An hour had passed and it hadn't moved an inch. Smart Blood allowed them to inject a global positioning device in the blood streams of every Akatsuki member. Only Sasori and Pein had the knowledge to deactivate it so he was positive that Itachi couldn't have discarded it.
When Madara called asking if Itachi had left for Otogakure, he lied to him. Honestly, he didn't really like Madara. He was a coward - an old fool that thought that he was clever by telling each of them not to reveal his identity to the other members.
It was his way of making each of them feel special as if he only trusted them enough to tell his secret.
Sasori blinked. "How childish."
Leader's reasons for still dealing with the old man were beyond him. There was a point in time when he found Madara entertaining but then he sent a thirteen year old child on the Danzo assignment and that began his aversion towards the sociopath.
The Akatsuki was a business. A professional organization that catered to their clients in a sophisticated manner. What Madara did was distasteful; the act was a smudge on their reputation. Besides, he didn't enjoy hurting women or children it was cowardly in his opinion.
"Madara, you are a parasite." He reached for the phone that sat on his desk. "All parasites should be exterminated." After dialing the desired number, he waited patiently for the person to pick up.
Sasori, I hope this isn't about a mission because I am enjoying a nice vacati-
"Kisame." He interrupted. "Itachi is en route to Otogakure on orders from Madara."
What in the hell is he supposed to be doing in that shit hole of a country? We never go there.
"He has been assigned to assassinate Orochimaru."
The sound of something crashing in the background caused Sasori's lips to quirk faintly.
I'LL KILL THAT FUCKING BASTARD! Kisame growled. It's not like Itachi can't beat the shit out of that snake Orochimaru with no problem, it's just getting out of that country will be damn near impossible. We have to stop him before he goes.
That was exactly why he called Kisame. The large man was the "get the job done" type while he on the other hand was the "get the job done successfully" type.
"I have a better plan. Can you meet me in Amegakure? We need to pay a visit to Pein-sama."
Itachi stared at the Polaroid of him and Neji that was taken by the shop keeper in Kamakura. At first she had been reluctant to give him the photo something about giving it to her granddaughter, but of course he convinced her. The photo seemed to mirror their time with each other. He was staring at Neji and vice versa; nothing else around them mattered. That was exactly how it was every time that they were together.
They were doomed from the very start, he had just been too selfish to stay away. Hurting Neji in the end was inevitable and necessary. The truth was there, lurking in the depths of those pale eyes and he couldn't handle it. No, he couldn't allow it. People in his line of work did not have happy endings. His grip on the picture tightened when he recalled how Neji looked at him before he passed out.
It was a sight that he would never forget. Emotions churned inside of him like a storm, sloshing and moving around, trying to escape. Only one of them was clear as the night sky - remorse.
"Yo."
Itachi inclined his head to return the greeting to the man that he had been waiting on for half an hour now. Carefully, he placed the photo in his pocket - noticing the way the other's man eyes followed the movement. He tried to gauge his abilities to figure out why he was so highly recommended. Of course, he had already done his research.
Kakashi Hatake: a member of ANBU since he was thirteen, became a captain at the age of seventeen, candidate to become Rokudaime Hokage, and the only supporter of Icha Icha Paradise. Jiraiya had personally picked Kakashi for the mission and Itachi had an inkling to his motives.
Kakashi looked around the empty warehouse. "You're younger than I thought you would be, Uchiha-san." He confessed.
"My age is of no importance. You can call me Itachi."
"Kakashi." The man extended his hand and Itachi shook it. When Kakashi's grip tightened painfully he didn't react. It was a test of his valor.
Seconds passed and they continued to stare at each other. Kakashi's left eye was scarred which only made him even more appealing. When Kakashi finally let his hand go, he smiled and scratched the back of his head. If it were in his nature to do so, Itachi would have face-palmed at that moment. Jiraiya's habits had rubbed off on way too many people.
Absently, he wondered if Naruto was also a pervert like his Godfather and Kakashi. Then his mind supplied him with thoughts of his brother and Naruto having sex and he inwardly shuddered. Thankfully, he was pulled from those disturbing thoughts by the sound of Kakashi reading.
"...escort mission to Otogakure. I am to assist you in infiltrating the country. Once you have successfully crossed the border between Fire and Sound my mission is complete. In exchange for your corporation with the ANBU Black Ops in the assassination of Orochimaru, your brother, Sasuke Uchiha will be placed under the direct care of the Hokage until Madara Uchiha and all other threats have been neutralized. Do you agree to those terms?"
"How do I know that the Hokage will hold up her end of the bargain?" Itachi shamelessly asked.
If Jiraiya had never gave him the option he would have enlisted Kisame to watch over Sasuke seeing that the man had played a part in raising him. While he recovered from his first mission, it was Kisame that indirectly took care of Sasuke for him. Despite his hulking stature and short fuse, Kisame could be trusted. All he had to do was make a call and he wouldn't have to put up with Konoha's empty promises.
However, Kisame's life was too unpredictable so the ANBU was his second best choice.
Kakashi's face was blank, but his voice held an edge to it. "You would dare question the abilities of our Hokage?"
Scoffing, Itachi stuffed his hands in his pockets. "The Hokage is supposed to be the protector of this country, but right under his nose - in the capital city, my mother and father were butchered. Whatever was left of my clan vanished without a trace and there are still no leads to who could have done it. So forgive me if I'm a little skeptical of the abilities of the current Hokage."
"You can't blame Tsunade-sama for the failings of Lord Third, Itachi." Kakashi sighed. "He worked diligently to discover the murderer until the time of his death. I also did my own investigations."
"Your own investigations? Without an order from anyone?"
"Yes."
Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"I have my reasons and that's all I'm going to say on the matter." Kakashi's tone was sharp and dismissive. "Now back to the mission. We have been trying to overthrow Orochimaru for years while also avoiding a war with him and his allies. If you cut the head off of the snake, the rest will crumble. You would be doing a great service to the Fire Country, Itachi."
"Let's be clear on one thing. I am doing this for Sasuke and Naruto. If war were to break out they would more than likely be enlisted due to their legacies. Sasuke as the remaining heir to the Uchiha clan and Naruto as the son of the Yondaime. I'm putting an end to Orochimaru for their safety."
And Neji's. He thought to himself. Neji was a branch member and a very formidable one at that so him being enlisted in Konoha's ranks was not far fetched.
"Fine. Let's head out." Kakashi said. "We will take a flight to Yugakure posing as tourists. Once we land, we will meet up with one of my contacts there. Are you ready?"
Reaching down, Itachi picked up his duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder. "I'm ready."
"You're like a bottomless pit." Neji wiped the side of his mouth with a napkin and continued. "I never imagined that you could eat so much." He stared down at the empty platters in astonishment.
The kind inn keeper had provided them with enough food to feed five people. Or one Uchiha depending on the way you looked at it. Lifting his gaze from his empty plate, Itachi looked at the man that sat across from him. As customary, they were each given a yukata to wear during their stay. He would have been fine with just the bath towel. But Neji refused to dine in the "nude".
Neji looked as regal as ever in the black yukata. His long chestnut hair hung heavily over one shoulder; under the luminescent lights of the dining area, he could see a faint hint of honey that highlighted the tresses. Funny, he had never noticed it before. Despite his seemingly androgynous appearance there was no denying that Neji was all man.
Itachi couldn't help the small smile that graced his face as he continued to stare at the Hyuga. He moved to reach over and touch him when there was a light tap on the shoji screen.
Reluctantly, he bid the inn keeper's daughters to enter so that they could clear their table. The soft padding of their feet on the tatami mat agitated him and he couldn't understand the source of his annoyance. They were merely playing the role of hospitable hostesses. Was he really that desirous of Neji that he couldn't go one second without touching him?
Yes.
Itachi stared dispassionately while the young girls cleared the table. Begrudgingly, he would admit that he was insecure. Despite his looks, money, natural intelligence, and other trivial things that made people attracted to him, he was still insecure. If Neji ever found out about the things he'd done or the awful things that were done to him - would he be repulsed?
If his past didn't run Neji off, his domineering nature would. In truth, he didn't truly believe he was inherently a possessive person. Maybe it was his circumstances; the fact that he had never had anything that was solely his, that made him so covetous of Neji. Every single thing that he had done since he was thirteen was for the sake of Sasuke. Every single thing prior to that was for his father.
What did Itachi have that was his and his alone?
A small giggle tore him from his musings, he looked over to see the inn keeper's youngest daughter approaching the table with a rose in her hand. He watched in both amusement - and something else he couldn't quite place as the girl bowed and presented the flower to Neji. The girl couldn't have been a day over thirteen. Her two sisters stood off by the door with the empty dishes in their hands while they encouraged her. With a charming smile on his face, Neji accepted the red rose. Before, he could open his mouth to thank her, the girl scurried off and hid behind her sisters.
Neji threw his head back and laughed. It made Itachi feel warm, like the sun had just come out on a cold winter morning.
Every piece of Itachi felt different. His heart seemed to beat differently, every nerve in his body was so warm. Neji thought that he was getting nothing from him, that he was not compromising. How could he not see that Itachi was just as into him? Possibly even more than he was. His desire for the Hyuga transcended that of mere attraction.
He wanted Neji. Want that was worse than before. Every time that he saw him, it was worse.
Seeing the man so carefree and unrestrained made him realize that a man such as Neji wasn't supposed to be controlled. He was much more radiant when he was allowed his freedom and Itachi knew that deep down he couldn't give him that. If he were ever given the chance to have something real with Neji, he would never let him go.
Mozart's Moonlight Sonata played softly on the record player that sat in the corner of the impressive parlor. Oriental rugs, horsehair furniture, a massive fireplace flanked by statues of lions and windows from the floor to the twelve-foot ceiling, made up the large room.
Obito sat in one of the lounge chairs and listened to Madara laugh at a joke that Saki had made. He came to the conclusion that he hated her. Since her arrival to the mansion she had managed to irk him. The exact reason for his hostility towards her was unknown. There was just something about her that didn't sit well with him.
Saki laughed and flashed a glance his way. "Obito, would you like to hear the joke?"
"Obito isn't too fond of jokes my dear." Madara chuckled and the sound made Obito want to murder them both.
Saki pouted and blew a raspberry at him. "What a bore."
Madara scolded the girl. "Now Saki what did I tell you about that ugly habit of yours?"
"That it isn't the behavior of the future wife to the head of the Hyuga clan, Madara-sama."
"Exactly. Now go upstairs and work on your lines. The opening night is vastly approaching."
She smiled and stood up from her seat. "I will see you two at dinner." Saki bowed and left the parlor.
Obito watched her leave, the urge to get up and snap her neck was stronger than ever now. Saki was just as sick in the head as Madara and it pissed him off. Maybe he was just as insane, but he had his reasons.
"You're jealous of her," Madara stood up as well and brushed the invisible wrinkles out of his clothes. "How pathetic."
With a scathing look, Obito stared at the man. "Jealous of what? Another one of your lap dogs?"
He smiled at him malevolently. "Are you upset that I replaced you...HachikÅ. Don't worry my faithful pup, there is still room for you in the kennel."
"I'm not a dog!" He gritted out as he rose to his feet.
"That's rich! You're like a puppy gnawing at my shoes. You make demands with no reason, no strength to back you up." He took the few steps until he was standing in front of the fuming man. "Now you're wagging your tail for attention because your owner is showing more attention to the new puppy."
Time passed as Madara and Obito stared at each other. Obito broke the stare, head jerking away haughtily. As far as dominance contest went, Madara won. He always won.
"Even now you tuck your tail and lower your gaze, because you know what I say is true, Obito."
"After everything I've done for you..." His voice broke and he tightened his fist. "You were the one who consoled me after Rin was murdered in cold blood by Kakashi. I only asked that you stop the games and focus more on bringing Rin's killer to justice. To bring the entire city of Konoha to justice like we planned!"
Yawning, Madara shrugged his shoulders. "Stop pretending as if you didn't know that they were screwing behind your back, Obito. The girl was in love with your best friend not you. For Kami's sake get over it."
"I don't deserve this from you, Madara!"
"No, Obito we never get what we deserve. We get what we bargain for." He placed his hand on Obito's shoulder. "Every thing will make sense in the end. Just be patient."
How many times had he heard that from Madara? He knew now that there was no purpose to anything that the older man did. But why did he continue to follow him for this long? Because he was family? Well he had murdered countless members of his family so that couldn't be the case. Maybe it was fear or plain and simple adoration.
"Obito, I need you to go to Konoha and bring Sasuke back here." Madara said.
"What do you want with him?"
"We need a replacement for Itachi of course. Sasori has already confirmed that Itachi has left for Oto."
"How can he be so sure that he actually left the country?"
"Every member of the Akatsuki has a tracker on their persons at all times, even when they aren't on a mission." He stated matter-of-factly.
Obito nodded his head. "So when do you want me to leave?"
"As soon as possible. If the Uzumaki boy interferes kill him."
A small lamp sat in the corner of the room and cast a faint glow on their skin. Lightly Itachi traced the contours of Neji's chiseled torso with his index finger as he listened to him talk. Nothing else seemed to matter during that moment. The mission, Madara's schemes, and any other negative thing in his life was irrelevant at that point in time.
"...then my uncle found out." Neji said quietly. His gaze shifted from Itachi to some random corner in the room.
Noticing the avoidant behavior, Itachi lowered his face and placed a soft kiss on Neji's shoulder.
"What did your uncle do, Neji?" He urged him to continue.
"I'm sure you're aware of traditional clan discipline, Itachi."
Of course he was aware, but thanks to his mother, his father didn't dare be that extreme. Mikoto would have exacted a far worse punishment on their father. To think that Neji, at the age of eight went through that kind of discipline infuriated him. He could pay the Hyuga clan head a visit before he left for Otogakure. No, he couldn't kill Neji's uncle; was murder his solution to everything?
"When did you know?" Neji turned back to face him. Their faces only inches apart. "When did you know that you were gay?"
Their proximity was smoldering causing Itachi to be completely floored by the question. It was something that he, himself didn't know the real answer to. Before his encounter with Danzo, he didn't really think about things like that. His main and only focus was to one day take his father's seat as clan head. He had masturbated before, but only after he had his first wet dream; he woke up sticky and beyond annoyed.
During his adolescence, masturbation was only used to purge his body of useless sperm to prevent wet dreams. There was minimal pleasure in it; not enough to make him curious about the actual act of sex.
"I just knew." He answered vaguely much to Neji's frustration.
"You just knew? We made a deal, Itachi."
"I know and I gave you an honest answer."
"Could you at least be more specific? At what age, 'did you just know'?
Deciding that giving his age couldn't really hurt, he told him. "I was 15."
Neji smiled, feeling pleased that he was getting somewhere with the secretive man. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" He asked.
There was an easy way to give Neji what he wanted without really revealing any compromising information. Regardless of this possibly being his last night with the Hyuga, there were things that he planned to take to his grave. However, being a little open tonight couldn't hurt. He would admit that it felt...nice to talk to someone.
"16." Itachi answered truthfully - well it was half the truth anyway.
"I would ask who it was with but I doubt you would tell me."
"It was with a guy that was a few years older than me. We eventually had a sadomasochistic relationship together. He played the role of my submissive for 6 years."
Okay. Maybe he opened up a little too much.
A beat passed. Neji noticed his own breathing, and finally had to move away from him. The room was silent. As if they were standing in a mausoleum buried deep under the earth, and any conversation was a sacrilege. That was not what he was expecting to hear.
A story about a sixteen year old Itachi with another sixteen year old boy attempting and failing to have sex was more of what he was expecting. Not a sixteen year old Itachi dominating an older man for years. Everything finally made sense; Itachi was a sadist and Neji was an idiot for not noticing it sooner. Although, there was something that really bothered him about the entire thing.
"Itachi, you were only 16. How did you even know about any of that stuff?" Neji stared at him closely.
Itachi frowned fleetingly, and then his expression was back to being bored. Except for the intense focus of his gaze as he stared back at Neji. "I think that's enough sharing for tonight."
"Was it the older guy's idea?" Neji moved closer and grabbed Itachi's hand, twining their fingers together, pressing their palms flush against each other."You can tell me, Itachi." He promised.
"I said enough, Neji." It was his rigid posture, the cadence of his words, and even his expression that seemed to say he was aloof-as-usual-Itachi. But the intensity of his stare made it a lie.
Undeterred Neji leaned over. "Trust me, Itachi." He whispered in his ear, and the sensation tickled down Itachi's spine. And then Neji kissed him slowly and thoroughly.
Itachi attempted to reach for that dark hole inside of him that ate every scrap of light in the universe and tried to become that. And nothing more. He tried to find his internal strength, but there was nothing left beyond his desire for Neji. Finally, Itachi opened his mouth for him, letting him inside, wanting Neji to take him piece by piece and put him back together again however the man wanted.
'Is that what love is about?' Itachi thought to himself. 'Surrendering?'
Neji closed his eyes tightly and pressed his face into the crook of his elbow in order to will the images of Itachi from his mind. He felt caged; the need to move, run, cry laugh and hurt all vying in him for control.
Early that morning he was released from Dr. Umino's care. The bruises on his neck were large and hideous; his uncle suggested that he should wear a bandage or a scarf until they started to heal. He decided that staying in the house would be the best option.
Currently, he was at his uncle's estate in his old room. That morning, he tried to return to his apartment but one step over the threshold and the scent of Itachi attacked his senses. Mangekyo was such an overbearing yet intoxicating scent with earthy undertones. Mixed with Itachi's own natural scent only added more to the potent fragrance.
"I really am losing it." Neji whispered.
Thinking about how great the bastard smelled was pitiful. His thoughts should've been dedicated to ways that he could exact his revenge on he man. What was he? A character in some crappy manga? No, vengeance was pointless.
While he was in his bedroom packing a few overnight bags, he came across the photo of himself and his dad. Neji had remembered putting it in his pocket, but he found it on his nightstand. Obviously, Itachi had placed it there. He didn't know what to think about everything that transpired between them.
He knew Itachi. Knew him intimately, had welcomed him into his body. But knowing him physically didn't translate to knowing him, unfortunately. Sex should be like osmosis; all that time pressed up against each other should allow him to know Itachi, without having to wait six months before finding out he had serious issues or unpackable baggage.
Still, he was aware from the start that Itachi wasn't your average dark and mysterious man. How could he ever forget the corpse in the alley? Shamelessly, he allowed Itachi in, even though he knew what he was capable of. What happened to him was his own fault. There had been warnings and he ignored them all.
The door to his room cracked opened.
"Neji?" Hinata asked quietly. When she didn't get a reply she slid into the room and closed the door behind her. The bed shifted as she climbed in next to him with her own comforter.
"Hinata. What are you doing?" He sat up a little bit and eyed his cousin suspiciously. A flash of light filled his bedroom, moments later a loud clap of thunder seemed to shake the entire mansion. "Oh. I didn't realize it was storming." He said as he laid back down.
"It's not really the thunder, Neji." She paused when there was another boom of thunder. "Okay maybe it is, but I'm also worried about you."
"There's no need to worry about me. What would your father say if he knew that you were still afraid of thunderstorms?"
Hinata wrapped herself in her comforter like a cocoon and made herself comfortable. "You know that they don't scare me."
"I know, they make you think of her..."
"Right. " She smiled sadly. "Let's not talk about that. How are you feeling? Honestly."
"I'm fine. I told you that hours ago."
"Neji, it's okay to not be fine." Hinata assured him. "You can tell me the truth. There is no need to put up a front with me."
Neji laid on his back and stared at the high ceiling. "How do you know that I'm not really fine? I only have a few bruises, Hinata."
"During lunch and dinner you barely ate. Sometimes when I would glance at you, you were clutching your shirt near your heart as though you were in pain. Your eyes," She swallowed. "Your eyes look so lifeless, Neji."
Perhaps it was because Hinata put so much trust into him or maybe it was due to the fact that every negative emotion was buried before he could feel it and that space was getting so full, so much harder to ignore. Whatever the reason was he decided to open up to her.
"I think you were wrong about love." He finally said.
"How so?"
"It doesn't feel as great as you described."
"Neji." Hinata scooted closer until she could see his face better. The young girl gasped at the single tear that slid down his cheek. "I'm so sorry. I thought that you were upset because someone attacked you in your own home...I admit that I thought it was an ego thing." She quietly confessed. "But...you're in love?"
"No, I was in love." He cleared his throat. "But not anymore."
She wanted to tell him that if it was ever love that it was never that easy to forget. Looking at him now, she knew that he wasn't as over it as he claimed. Neji was in denial.
"I wasn't wrong about love. It is the most beautiful thing -"
"Then why does it hurt so much, Hinata?" Neji's words were heavily laced with bitter malice. "Why does it feel as if I'm drowning? Or i've been stabbed? It doesn't feel good. Not one bit of it feels good. I feel like I'm dying."
"Oh Neji-"
He rudely interrupted her again. "Don't give me your pity. I don't deserve it, I was stupid enough to believe that someone like me could actually be happy. This is my punishment for disobeying my uncle and trying to change my fate."
Hinata broke out of her comforter and hugged him as tight as she could. He tried to fight her, he even cursed her but eventually he surrendered.
"You're wrong Neji. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else does."
He laid there limply and allowed his younger cousin to hug him. He didn't have the strength anymore. "How do you know that? How can you be so sure?"
"Because you are human. All human beings deserve to be happy."
"You're too altruistic for your own good." Neji pulled out of her firm grip. "The fact that you and Hanabi came from the same womb still shocks me." The light joked helped to ease the negativity on his behalf.
"Speaking of Hanabi," Hinata smiled brightly. "She'll be coming home for good in a few days."
Neji smirked. "They're releasing her from juvie...I mean boarding school?"
"Yes! I've missed her so much."
"Im not ashamed to admit that her little pranks are not missed."
"Are you still upset because she replaced your shampoo with hair dye?" She giggled at the memory of Neji with green hair.
"I looked like a freaking troll doll! She's lucky it was only temporary."
"Things are sure to get interesting once Hanabi returns."
"I agree." Glad that they were no longer on the topic of his terrible love life, Neji lightly nudged the girl in the shoulder. "You should leave, God forbid your father gets the wrong idea."
"True. Are you going to be alright?"
Neji hated that he made Hinata worry about him. Knowing her she would be up all night trying to find ways to cheer him up. He didn't want to be cheered up, he just wanted it to pass and he could act as if he'd never know Itachi.
"Yes, Hinata i'll be fine." He assured her.
Hinata grabbed her lavender comforter and got out of the bed before she left she smiled at him. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Neji. It really meant a lot."
"Goodnight, Hinata."
-o0o-
That next afternoon, Neji was fed up with his dark thoughts so he decided to drive into the city. The air surrounding the Hyuga compound was stifling. A thin veil of hostility seemed to envelope all of its occupants; both Main and Branch members. The tension was unmistakable. He assumed that it had something to do with the young girl that had recently ran away.
Her name was Saki and she was a Branch member. Neji didn't really know too much about her, but apparently she was betrothed to an important figure in the clan. It was all trivial clan politics that Neji tried his best to stay out of. Hiashi and the council could take care of it.
Per usual Konoha's High Street was swarming with people; mostly businessmen and groups of high schoolers. Thanks to Hinata, the bruises on his neck were concealed by a "stylish" scarf. Neji thought it was weird to wear a scarf at the beginning of August, but it was better than sporting a bandage. Last night put a lot of things in perspective for him. Neji concluded that he still loved Itachi, yet he would never be involved with him again.
That chapter in his life was officially closed. And the next time that he saw the man or if he ever saw him again he was going to kick his ass and walk away from the situation.
With conviction, Neji walked through the double doors of Starbucks. It was a franchise that he feared he liked more than it deserved. Everything was overpriced and overrated, still it was a guilty pleasure of his. Once he was inside he relished in the scent of fresh coffee. Coffee beans were very beneficial in serving as a nasal palate cleanser.
Yes, Neji was in heaven. While he was in Starbucks he didn't have to worry about the scent of Itachi that still lingered around. As he drifted off to sleep last night, he pondered on finding the factory that produced Mangekyo and blowing it up. How insane was that?
After ordering a venti dark roast, he surprisingly found himself a seat in the packed cafe. He sat at a small table that could seat two people. Neji was sure that he was giving off major loner vibes so he didn't worry about anyone daring to sit with him. Now was a good time for him to research somthing that had been on his mind the past few days. Placing his cup on the table, he leaned over to grab his laptop out of his satchel.
When he righted himself, he saw a man sitting at his table across from him as though he'd been there the whole time.
"Mind if I have a seat?" The stranger asked.
Scowling, Neji sat his laptop on the table. "You have some nerve seeing that you've already helped yourself. "
"Didn't see anymore seats." The man extended his hand across the table. "I'm Hidan."
Neji stared at the hand like it was an alien object before powering up his laptop. "You can sit here as long as you don't talk."
"I didn't get your name."
"I didn't give it." Neji picked up his cup and took a sip. He could feel Hidan's eyes boring into him.
"Guess I'll just call you Hyuga-hime." Hidan laughed and took a swig of his own drink.
"Not unless you want to be eating through a tube for the rest of your life, I suggest you don't." His fingers moved swiftly across the keyboard.
Hidan licked his lips, savoring the sight of his prey. Neji was better than he expected. Hot as hell and feisty had always been his favorite.
"What are you working on?"
Neji shot the man an irritated glance, then he froze when he saw the way Hidan was staring at him. Finally, he noticed how attractive he was. The red shirt that he wore was tight, complementing his broad shoulders and muscular biceps. A tattoo of a black eqilateral circumscribed triangle adorned both of his forearms.
"See something you like?" Hidan teased revealing his tongue ring.
"Not at all." He replied and focused on his web search. Several results for the name Danzo came up. But his instincts were telling him to close the tab for now and he listened.
"You still playing hard to get, Hyuga-hime? All I want is your name."
"Kenji." He smirked and took another sip of his coffee.
"Kenji huh?" Lying little shit. Hidan thought. He decided to play along anyway because it was him that was going to have the last laugh.
"Yes. Now if you'll excuse me. I'll be leaving now."
"I'm actually not from around here."
"Congratulations." Neji deadpanned. His instincts were going haywire, yelling at him to get away from Hidan.
Hidan laughed loudly. "Funny. I was wondering if you could show me around."
"There's this interesting thing that this establishment has it's called free WI-FI. Use it on your phone and Google a map of the city." He put his laptop in his satchel and stood up. " I'm sure you can manage that."
Hidan watched Neji as he walked out of Starbucks. Looking down at the growing bulge in his pants he smiled. He never liked anything that came to him easily.
"Now that was entertaining, yeah." Deidara walked over and took a seat in the now vacant chair. "Glad I decided to stay an extra day."
"I knew there was something special about Neji. I noticed it when he was still a little twerp."
Deidara pulled a face. "You sound creepy as fuck man. Can't admit that type of shit out loud!"
"I didn't mean it like that. You know Im not into that kind of twisted shit. I may be a lot of things but I'm not a kiddie fucker."
"Its called a pedophile, imbecile."
Waving a dismissive hand, Hidan pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "Today was just a test run. Next time I'll have him eating out of my hand."
"Thats nice. By the way you can't smoke in here."
"Well let's get the fuck out of this high priced dump. Besides I wanna pay Yuki a visit."
They both stood up and left. Deidara tossed Hidan a lighter so that he could light his cigarette.
"Can't believe you fucked that annoying desk receptionist. Weren't you complaining about people like her that night at the bar?" Deidara asked.
"Man, she sucked me dry like a sorority girl with a Jell-O shot! Couldn't kill a talented cocksucker like her."
Two blonde brows rose, "That's your only reason for not killing her?" He shook his head. "But I'm not surprised, especially not after you told me your real reason for wanting that Hyuga brat."
Shrugging, Hidan took another puff of his cigarette. He watched the tiny puffs of smoke float and disappear. "Whats so wrong about me wanting to see the look on his pretty face when I tell him that it was me who killed his dad. I think it'll be hot during sex. Imagine me pounding into that nice piece of ass then right before I cum I spill the beans." He threw his head back and laughed.
"That's going too far, Hidan! Plus, I doubt you even get that far with him. Kid didn't look interested in the slightest. He's probably not even gay." He argued.
"Oh Deidara. Since when did something like sexual orientation every stop me?"
Feeling dissuaded about being in the city, Neji returned to the compound earlier than planned. His uncle was out running errands; or giving orders through the limousine's partition to his driver.
Hinata was out with Kiba celebrating their one year anniversary. His sodium levels were higher than normal - Neji was salty. But he wouldn't let that ruin his partially good mood.
Basically, he had the house to himself. He decided to enjoy his solitude by continuing his earlier search on Danzo. For some reason he chose to sit in the library. Being around all of those books made him feel like he was being productive.
Not meddling in Itachi's life.
The first "Danzo" listed on the search engine's results was a historical figure from the sixteenth century. Unless Itachi had a fear of Japanese history that couldn't be the person. Danzo Shimura was the second most popular result. Apparently he was a well known politician as well as a Yakuza boss. Typical.
There was an article from ten years ago that made Neji's blood run cold.
"Rumored pedophile found murdered in home...authorities have confirmed the rumors that Council member Shimura was a child molester his fetish for..." Neji felt numb as he silently read the next few words.
Dark haired boys with black or brown eyes.
Quickly, he closed out the tab, went to his web history, and deleted all of it. No, he didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Neji didn't want to even think that Itachi was one of his victim's.
Although, he had a gut feeling that he was.
"He was a 29 year old lawyer that wanted a break from his demanding life. When we met through mutual acquaintances he was under the impression that I was going to play the role of the submissive because of my age." Itachi smirked as he stared beyond Neji; as if he were in another place and time altogether. "After our first meeting he quickly learned his true role."
Silently, Neji listened to Itachi talk about his past as a professional Dom. He had promised Itachi that he could trust him and he meant it. Although, he did want to know what could have drove a sixteen year old boy to develop such a kink. There was one idea lurking around in his mind, but he wouldn't dare ask him directly. Instead, he was going to patiently wait until Itachi was ready to tell him.
Itachi continued. "We had a contract that outlined the do's and the don'ts. Surprisingly, there wasn't much of anything that he was against. Humiliation, flogging, bondage and even servitude. His favorite was when I would tie him to his bed, place a vibrator in his ass - on the highest it could go - and leave him there for hours." He paused as if giving him time to digest what he was saying. Like bitter medicine, the truth could only be given in small doses or his body would rebel
"That's some hardcore shit, Itachi." Neji commented, then tilted his head to look up at him. "What did you get out of all of this?"
Itachi's response was soft. So low and dark that it should have pitched the room in blackness. "His suffering gave me pleasure."
Neji looked away from him sharply, as if he were flinching. The response shouldn't have came as a surprise; it was the true definition of a sadist. It was just the way that Itachi admitted it so nonchalantly. Did that make him a masochist for being okay with bondage? He found it exciting, but the idea of Itachi humiliating him, or flogging him made his blood boil.
Itachi's hands were flush against his jaw, thumbs stroking his cheek, tilting him to look into his dark eyes. "What are you thinking, Neji." He asked.
"Is that what this is?" He stared into his eyes and searched for the truth. "Do you plan on grooming me to become your next doormat?"
Smiling, Itachi ran his thumb lightly over Neji's lips. "When I saw you that night in the club, I thought you were a Main house prick and I wanted to make you grovel and beg for it."
"How romantic." Neji deadpanned.
Ignoring the remark he continued. "Then I found out that you were a virgin. I was so disappointed."
"Wow, you really know how to woo a guy, Itachi."
"But," Itachi moved his thumb and trailed it down to Neji's collar bone. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even after I kicked you out of my room I still wanted you, Neji. More than I've wanted anyone or anything. Does that answer your question?"
"Vaguely. Though it's expected from you." His eyebrows knit together as he contemplated his next question.
"Just ask." Itachi calmly stated as if he could read the man's mind.
"Has anyone ever...done the...fucking to you?" Kami that sounded awful, he thought. Neji was sure that by this point his title as 'genius' was going to be revoked.
"Done the fucking to me?" Itachi chuckled. "Has anyone ever dominated me? No."
"You can be dominated without someone actually fucking you."
He raised an eyebrow, with a condescending look on his face. "What are you suggesting, Neji? That you can dominate me without topping?" His hands were in Neji's hair; they slid down to the base of his neck, nails trailing down him like silken claws.
Then the world seemed to turn as they were flipped.
Neji was on top of him, straddling him, while he lay below him, eyes slightly widened from shock. His stomach muscles bunched and released as he breathed. Neji leaned down, his taut nipples grazing his chest, then kissed him hard, almost angrily. The sound of his own loud moan made Itachi snap his eyes open.
"You said that you couldn't stop thinking about me." Neji smirked. "I dominated your thoughts. You want me more than you've wanted anyone or anything - can't you see that I already have control over you, Itachi?"
Itachi was rendered speechless as he watched Neji slide down his body, placing feather light kisses on his stomach until he reached his hardening erection. He could feel himself slowly unraveling as he was surrounded by the glorious heat of Neji's mouth.
His fingers brushed against the pocket that held the picture of him and Neji. It was a reminder of the best day of his life. Itachi wanted to know what Neji was doing at that exact moment. Was he plotting his revenge on him? No that was too melodramatic for his Neji.
My Neji? He frowned. Neji didn't belong to him and he never would.
"Who is it?"
Itachi looked over to Kakashi that laid on the other bed. They were still in Yugakure waiting on his contact; much to Itachi's annoyance. He was just ready to get it all over with.
"What are you talking about?" He finally asked. For the past days he learned more about Kakashi - against his own will. The man had no issue with discussing his personal life.
"The person in the picture. Is it your girlfriend?" The older man teased.
"That's hardly any of your business, Hatake."
"Hey! I showed you pictures of Iruka!"
"I didn't ask to see them. You practically shoved them in my face." He sighed. How in the hell was this man the next in line to be Hokage?
"Well, I wanted you to see my future husband." Kakashi smiled - he assumed he was smiling because his eyes crinkled. He wore a mask that covered his nose and mouth; Itachi was suspicious of what was underneath.
"Hn."
The hotel room was silent again. Itachi's thoughts went back to Neji. Well if he were being honest he would admit that the man was never too far from his mind.
"...can't you see that I already have control over you, Itachi?"
Perhaps a part of him did realize that long before their night in the inn. The thing that bothered him the most was that he didn't mind Neji having that power over him. He should have been outraged, but he'd never felt so content.
In the dark recesses of his mind, the truth was whispered to him over and over like a mantra.
Love.
Not the brotherly love that he bore for his brother- no it was more intense than that. It was a raw catastrophic love.
Itachi feared that if Neji would have known of his plans he would've attempted to stop him. And he would have let him. He would've thrown away everything just to be with Neji and that silent admission made him feel guilty.
How could he even think about risking everything for a person he only met three weeks ago? Time didn't matter though. It was what transpired during their time together. Neji made him want to forget about every bad thing he'd done and pretend.
Pretend as if he was a regular person, with normal issues. That type of thinking was dangerous; it made him vulnerable. Being around Neji gave him a false sense of security and he couldn't have that.
No matter how much he wanted it. Or how much he need it. Life was never that simple.