AN –Okay this is a short chapter but I had wanted to let everyone know what had happened after last chapter. Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews.

I do not own these characters.

BPOV

Pain. All I could feel was incredible pain. It was burning through me, killing me. They didn't warn me about this when they listed the side effects of chemotherapy. I was prepared for the nausea and chills. You think they would have made a point to tell me that it would feel like my body was on fire. I opened my eyes, terrified. Edward was there, my guardian angel, he would protect me from this pain. He would make it all better. That was when I noticed, noticed the blood dripping from his lips. His eye color was swirling, a faint hint of red appearing.

That was when I knew, knew what he had done to me and I began to scream. He tried to soothe me but I wanted him no where near me. I continued to scream, hoping he would get the idea and get away from me. I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do. So I continued to scream. The door opened and Carlisle and Esme walked in.

The look of shock that crossed their faces said it all. He had done it. He had started to change me. But why now, why in this manner when I didn't even have a chance to discuss it, to approve it?

Suddenly he backed away from me, looking mortified. I was right all along. He didn't want me this way. What fun was indestructible Bella? I wouldn't need Edward to keep me from falling, from getting hurt. I was his equal soon and he didn't want me anymore. I was only good as long as I was a novelty and he felt stronger than me.

"What have I done….what have I done?" He looked pained. Why in the world would he be in pain? What was that noise, it was like a banshee stuck inside my head? Oh, that was me, my screaming. I couldn't figure out a way to make it stop. The pain that I was in demanded an outlet.

Carlisle and Edward were talking frantically in the corner of the room. Edward's head was hung down in shame. Esme came to my side, trying to soothe me but I was beyond help. As if the pain wasn't bad enough I also had to deal with the fact that Edward immediately regretted his decision.

"Isn't there anything you can do for her Carlisle? Can't you find a way to help her?" He sounded anguished. When he looked at me the pain in his eyes cut deep into my soul. I hated to see him hurting. I never wanted him to be sad. Trying desperately to communicate with my eyes I called him over to me.

Thankfully most times he could read me like an open book and he came to my side. He came as close as he dared without touching me. I think he was afraid to cause me more pain.

I opened my mouth but no words came out, just screams. I willed my hand to stop clawing at the sheets so I could reach for him. Noticing he grabbed my hand instantly and sat down next to me.

"I'm so sorry Bella, please forgive me, please," my mind pondered what he was sorry for. Was he sorry that he changed me? Why would he tell me that right now though, wasn't I in enough pain?

"I never intended for it to be like that, to do it against your will. Please you have to believe me," he looked like he was dying inside. Like a baby whose toy had been taken away. He was completely and utterly heartbroken.

I tried to process this, to realize what his words implied. It was not control he had been exerting over me when he changed me, it was desire. Desire had completely overwhelmed him and for once in the whole time I had known him he had lost control.

I tried to nod, tried to make him understand that I believed him. Before I could see if he understood complete and utter blackness overtook me.

EPOV

The look of shock on Carlisle's face surprised me. I know her screaming was overwhelming but surely it wasn't frightening to him.

"Edward, what have you done?" What have I done? I was just attempting to calm my Bella down. It killed me to have her in pain. I would do anything to be able to take it on for her.

Carlisle pointedly looked at Bella and I followed his eyes down to my love. That is when I noticed. I noticed the wetness on my lips and the strange hum of excess power flowing thru my body. Then I saw the bite marks that riddled her body. Not a single pulse point had been spared. I backed away, horrified. What had I done?

Carlisle was waiting for me in the corner of the room. His eyes were filled with rage.

"What were you thinking Edward? What could have possibly possessed you to do this to her?"

I hung my head down, too ashamed to articulate something.

"Edward, I need answers."

"It wasn't intentional Carlisle, I would never do this to her against her will," her screams were echoing around the room. Each one killing me just a little more.

"Then what happened?" He looked like I felt, baffled and mortified.

"I was just trying to find he scent again, to find my Bella." I was shaking my head, how had I lost control? How could I have allowed myself to harm Bella? She might never forgive me after this. I may have just lost everything. "Carlisle you have to know that I would never do this to her intentionally." He searched my face and nodded his head.

"Edward, you do realize that there may be grave consequences to your impulsiveness?" My mind couldn't bear to think of what might happen. I looked over at her. Her screams had not stopped at all. Each scream that left her mouth ripped through me.

"Of course I realize that, but it doesn't matter right now. All that matters is her. Isn't there anything you can do for her Carlisle? Can't you find a way to help her?" I looked over at her and almost buckled under the anguish that I felt. I would never forgive myself for doing this to her. This was not something she could ever forgive me for. I had condemned her for life.

Her eyes caught mine and they pleaded with me. They pleaded with me to come to her side. I was there in an instant. I kept a safe distance. I didn't want to hurt her more than I already had. Her hand appeared to be reaching for mine and I grabbed it, grateful for the opportunity to offer her comfort.

Apologizing over and over again I sat next to her. I tried to let her know that this wasn't my plan, that I had never intended to do this to her. At that moment I would have given anything to take it back to have her whole and untouched again.

She was getting weaker and she looked up at me. I thought I caught the slightest hint of a nod before her eyes rolled back into head and she went limp. From experience I knew that passing out would not help you escape the pain so I sat there next to her. Holding her hand and never leaving her side.

I was slightly aware of the others as they came and went in the room. None of them dared to speak to me but I could tell by the thoughts in their head that anger was the dominant feeling. Everyone had always wanted Bella as a part of our family but no one had wanted her change to happen in these circumstances.

Her voice eventually became horse and her screams sounded more like the mewling of a kitten. She thrashed around the bed, trying to find relief that wasn't there. With every second that passed by I hated myself more and more for doing this to her.

"Edward," a hand grasped my shoulder and I turned to face Rosalie.

"You know I would never wish this upon anyone but you have to remember that she did want this. Perhaps not under these circumstances but you have to realize that no matter how the change occurred she would be in pain. Don't destroy yourself over this. She will need you to be strong for her. She will need help." In the back of my mind I know that she was right, that I had to be there for her. I looked up at Rosalie and nodded, words were not possible at this time.

Days and nights passed in a blur. I waited for her to finish the change, desperate to make sure she was okay. Gradually her pain ceased as her heart took its last few beats. Silence filled the room and I waited desperately for her to open her eyes.

Slowly her eyelids fluttered opened and her blood red eyes met my gaze.

"Edward, what happened?" She looked confused and sad. Her hands grabbed mine and I tried in vain to come up with some way to explain what I had done to her.

Sooo…how do you think this will go over? Next chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading.