Hello my lovely readers, I am so sorry it took so long but finaly the next chapter is here!

Some of you expressed disappointment that I kept Zelena as mother of Robin's baby but I am not going to change that in any way because I wanted to express that our dreamy soulmates, Regina and Robin, can make it through everything that writers of OUAT create for them because after all, they are soulmates. However for those of you who want to see a proper OQ baby story without wicked sisters, check the other story I wrote – I Want To Have Hope. It's temporarily on break but I plan to continue with it after I finish this one.

I do not own OUAT nor its characters. I just like to play with them :)
Sorry for all my mistakes, English is not my first language but I am trying my best.

Now, let's enjoy this chapter, shall we?

Chapter 4

When both of them finished their food that Regina brought from Granny's they went back to watching the memories, Regina sitting next to Robin with her legs to the side up on the sofa while her shoes were lying on the floor where she kicked them off.

There were still some bad memories ahead of them but she got the feeling it's nothing they couldn't handle and the terrible fear of Robin leaving her started to melt slowly away.

Robin could somehow feel this change in her and he was incredibly pleased she was finally accepting that he is not going anywhere anytime soon. He smiled, leant towards her and kissed her cheek.

"What was that for?" Regina asked curiously, not that she was complaining.

"Just like that." He smiled with a playful smile, quickly shrugged one arm and look away from her face to the dreamcatcher.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

Regina in this picture doesn't look like Regina that everyone in her kingdom knew. Instead of her luxurious royal dresses and fancy hairstyles she is wearing simple grey clothes, her hair tied at the back of her head but that is not the only thing tied. There are shackles on her hands behind her back and two royal guards are leading her towards the crowd on the courtyard.

Robin figured out that Regina was going to be executed but he had no idea something like that hung over her head. "Is that," Robin started and cleared his throat, "Is that your execution?" He put his hand on Regina's thigh in unconscious attempt to protect her.

"Yeah. Snow White and Charming tricked me in the battle and used fairy dust to bind my magic so they could capture me." Regina said with absolutely no emotion in her voice.

"That's…" Robin himself didn't know what he wanted to say. On one side he understood why they wanted to do that and on the other side he was incredible pleased that it didn't happen and he wanted so see why, so he said nothing, just watched.

Regina has her last chance to say something and despite she doesn't show it on her face, she hesitates in the inside. Should she really express regret, ask for amnesty? She looks at Snow, remembering that naïve secret spilling little girl, the suffering she has caused to her, the unsuccessful attempts in killing her and what she said to her when she saved her from her black knights while she was masked as a stranger, willing to forgive Regina if she would wanted to change.

Is there still a chance? And would she want to? Would she be able look at Snow White living happily with her husband while Regina is dead inside? No. As much as she doesn't want to die, she knows she cannot live like that. It will never happen. She breathes in, holds her head high and chooses her last words carefully, letting her anger consume her and one more time she lets everyone hear The EVIL Queen she is.

Robin almost closed his eyes when the royal soldiers shot their arrows but he didn't, reminding himself that Regina was all right. When Snow stopped the execution, he knew exactly why she did it. He noticed a glimpse of the young woman Regina used to be, woman that suffered, woman that Regina claimed was long gone while she kept her buried deep inside of her, wearing the mask of The Evil Queen until the end. Or so Regina thought because with the Charming's order to fire and an inevitable end of her life, Regina wasn't able to keep her mask as strong as always and in spite of the blindfold that was put on her face, the tiniest glimpse of her long forgotten self got out but it was enough for Robin to see. Enough for Snow to see.

Regina doesn't understand what is happening. She feels a strange mixture of surprise, confusion and even disappointment. Not that she wants to die, not that she is ready, she isn't but she's accepted it will happen. So why did Snow stop it? They are taking her back to her cell and she is wondering what will happen now. But there is nothing happening at all.

It's been almost a week when finally Snow White pays her a visit and she lets her go. In spite of what Snow said Regina knows it's not just like that but she can't resist the temptation, the desire for revenge that constantly burns within her. This is the chance to finally end Snow's life and she would be damned if she didn't take it.

Robin saw the hatred and pain in the eyes of Regina's past self and he couldn't help himself but shivered about the amount of those feelings but he immediately kick himself inwardly when he felt Regina stiffen next to him. Of course she noticed his reaction and he was sure she thought he was disgusted or something but that wasn't the case there.

He turned his head to look at her but she was staring into her lap, her fallen hair partially covering her face. Robin brought his hand up and tucked the hair behind her ear but she didn't move an inch and he laid his hand back on her thigh. He wanted to say something but decided it would be better if he watched this particular memory to its end first.

Insane joy fills Regina's mind with the dagger being stabbed into Snow White's abdomen and she is hungrily waiting for the life leaving her body, for the pain spreading in her eyes, but there isn't any. All the alarms in Regina's mind turned on when the woman that was supposed to be dying right now smiled. No pain… no blood… no dying… What the hell?

They tricked her, Regina realise. They tricked her again. Thoughts in Regina's mind are flashing frantically when she is listening to their words. She cannot hurt them anymore, they won. No, no it can't be true. They are banishing her, humiliating her once again. No. NO!

"Regina?" Robin wanted her to look at him but he didn't receive any response, she was still staring down. He caressed her leg before he hooked his fingers under her chin, slowly turning her face towards him, her eyes little uneasy when they held his gaze. "Regina, love, what are you thinking?"

"Doesn't matter. The thing is what you thought… You were scared."

Robin shook his head slowly. "I certainly wasn't. I have never been scared of you."

"Then what was it?" She sounded oddly weak.

"Honestly?" He asked and sighed, "My heart just aches for the woman I saw." He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him in a way they could still look in each other's eyes. "And I am incredibly proud of the woman sitting next to me right now." He brushed his lips on her cheek in a soft kiss.

Regina looked for any sign in his face that would give him away but she didn't find any, she knew it was truth and she felt warmth around her heart. She couldn't help herself with all the feelings of insecurity those were invading her constantly but Robin always knew, he always could tell and he always could sooth them away. She let herself to lean in his closeness and smiled against his lips before she kissed him.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

"I'm not sure what I should say. I'm conflicted." Regina says to her father, pacing across the chamber in her castle. "I have to cut out the heart of the thing I love most." She breaths out and closes her eyes when she hears her father's voice. "Me."

She doesn't know what to do, she certainly doesn't want to do this but she can't let Snow White win. That young woman not only took her future from her, hurt her and mocked her but she took everything she had, her power and everything she had built and Regina has to do something but there is nothing else to do anymore.

She hesitates for a few seconds, when she steps into her father's embrace. She wants to believe his words, and small part of her does but that part is too small, she knows she can never be happy again, not like this, not with Snow White having her happy ending, she went too far on the path of revenge to just turn around and no matter how hard this is, it's the only way for her to be happy. No matter how much she loves her father, she knows she has to do it.

"I think you're right, I can be happy. Just not here." She lets that tear fall, takes a deep breath and rips the heart of the thing she loves most out of her daddy's chest. "I'm sorry." Regina whispers when another tear falls from her eyes. She knows how much her father loves her and she wishes he could forgive her.

Robin kissed Regina's temple and he was glad she didn't pull herself away an inch this time. He hadn't known before what it took to enact the curse and he couldn't imagine to feel as desperate as Regina felt that she actually did it.

"It's the worst thing I did." Regina spoke up quietly next to him.

"I am sure he forgave you." He squeezed her arm lightly as he held her against him.

"I hope so but…" Her voice died and she shook her head.

"Regina, you father loved you. He wanted the best for you, he wanted you to be happy. I'm sure he understood why you made the choice you did." He said but Regina stayed quiet and after a moment Robin added "If he's watching you, I am sure he is proud of you." He saw the tear that escaped Regina's eye and caught it with his thumb before he kissed her forehead and moved his attention to the next memory.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

Snow White is kneeling next to Charming's numb body while Regina is standing with her head held high as the air twirls around them, the curse almost on its peak. "This is my happy ending." Regina shouts with oddly satisfying laugh and she really believes that making everyone else suffer will make her suffer less and with that thought pure joy overtakes her. When she wakes up in Storybrook, she is thrilled that her plan works, she feels content, even happy but happiness gained from vengeance is not real and it can't last. Day in, day out and she stops being happy, she doesn't feel angry either, she is just empty.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

The next memory is a dark room, dimly lighted only with the streetlights shining through the windows. There's a movement on the bed, a glimpse of bare shoulder and Regina's dark hair, then a hand travels from under the covers into those beautiful hair, hand that is too big to be Regina's and the silence of the room is pierced by a muffled moan.

Robin's eyes widened when he finally realized what he was looking at. Regina, his Regina having sex with another man. He sent away the memory hurriedly and stayed speechlessly staring at the now entirely normal and non-magical net of the dreamcatcher, his body tensed.

Regina realized what memory this was just a little moment sooner than Robin and despite she wasn't sure if she wanted him to watch that particular memory, his overreaction amused her. "Are you jealous?" She asked with cocked up eyebrow.

"Well, I certainly don't want to watch you in bed with another man." He said with strangely unsettled voice and Regina chuckled. Oh, he was so jealous and the thought of Robin's unwillingness to share her with anyone made her heart flutter.

"Look," She said and turned herself on the sofa directly to him. "You have absolutely nothing to be jealous about." She took a second to reconsider if saying what she was going to say was a good idea and decided that it would be fine.

"Daniel and I, we've been waiting for marriage with that but we've never got the chance and with The King…" Regina closed her eyes for a second with the memory of those nights, especially the first one – her very first one, she blinked the memories away "Well, I would say I haven't enjoyed it, he's never cared about me." She shook her head, her expression saddened a bit but she continued.

"When he died and I became the only rightful ruler of the kingdom, I slept with men, using sexuality as a tool, a weapon of sorts, very powerful in a world of men. I won't lie, in those times I enjoyed it but it was nothing more than a game of power."

Robin wasn't sure why she was telling him that. Although he knew the idea of himself being the only men in Regina's life was ridiculous and untrue, he would be happy to keep living in that kind of lie because just the thought of another man laying hands on his Regina, seeing her naked, hearing her moans, tasting her skin and doing all the other stuff… It made his vision go red and awoke murderous tendencies, which he didn't even know he had.

"And with Graham… I've got his heart, I mean I ripped out his heart, he had to obey everything I said. I've spent eighteen years alone in Storybrook before I adopted Henry. I was just trying to feel something, but it didn't work like that, it was just a sex." She said and tilted her head on a side, love spreading across her features when she reached for his hand. "I've never experienced making love until with you. In that matter, you were my first one. You are my only one."

Robin smiled sadly, realising how irrelevant his thoughts were. She was so alone for a very long time and he was being selfish. He himself couldn't claim the same what she just told him, he did experience making love before Regina and he also let other woman touch him after Regina. His heart ached with that thought. He brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles before whispering "I love you more than my heart can hold." Then he leaned to her and kissed her lips with a long, slow and tender kiss full of love, adoration and infinite gratitude for having Regina in his life. "But if any other man ever tries to touch you, you may easily found his death body." He said when they parted and Regina chuckled against his lips. Oh, he was so jealous.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

Regina is sitting on the sofa watching 10 months old baby Henry crawling around on the soft rug in front of the fireplace, playing with his favourite stuffed frog. She is tired, Henry is in the age when his teeth are growing and last night was one of those worst ones, when his sore gums were keeping him awake the whole night and his mom with him. She barely closed an eye, trying to sooth her little boy's cries, relieve his pain and console his distress but nothing seemed to work long enough for her to get some sleep.

Henry offset his lack of sleep with an unusually long nap while she was working in her office so now he is full of energy unlike his mother, who smiles at him tiredly when he motions his frog towards her babbling words, which meaning knows no one but him.

Henry drops the frog on the rug, crawls towards the coffee table and grabs its edge with both of his little hands, pulling himself up on his chubby legs, giggling at his mother. Her smile widens at that sight, Henry has mastered standing few weeks ago and was able to do few steps holding onto something but Regina thought he hasn't felt like walking on his own anytime soon.

Henry steps towards his mommy supporting himself on the coffee table and when he makes it to its end Regina expects him to turn around or sit back down but he looks up at her face and lets go of the table, hesitates for a second and makes his first step on his little, wobbly legs.

Regina slides down from the sofa as Henry makes second step…then third… fourth… and then he loses his balance and falls into his mother's spread arms, squeaking with joy. She hugs him tightly to her chest, "Look at you, my little prince. You made me so so proud." She coos softly to her son, all her exhaustion forgotten when he giggles at the sound of her voice.

"Mommy." Henry manages to say and Regina's heart almost bursts with love to her son and after years of despair she finally feels like proper human being because when she holds her son in her arms, she knows her life has a meaning.

"I love you, Henry."

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

Regna opens the door from her house and the great relieve she feels when she finally sees her son, whole and unharmed after the whole day she's had no idea where he was, spreads inside her. She wraps him in her arms but he pulls away.

"I found my real mom!" He runs back inside and Regina's world spins.

"You're Henry's birth mother?" She asks the woman standing in front of her house, doing the best she could to keep her voice sound normal.

After this moment, Regina feels that Henry is drifting away from her more and more day after day. She is losing him, she realises. She is losing the only person she loves, she is losing her little prince and the thought is unbearable, she will do anything to get Emma out of their lives because Henry is her son.

—O—o—O—o—O—o—O—

Regina, Emma and Graham are standing in the night if front of her vault when he tells her that he doesn't feel anything, that he doesn't want to be with her anymore and she feels betrayed. It doesn't matter that Regina doesn't love Graham, she claims him her own and now he is another thing Emma wants to take from her? If Graham wants to leave her for Emma despite she has his heart in her physical possession how can she keep Henry away from that blonde? Regina is angry, she promised herself to not let Emma take anything form her. She deeply desires to have her magic again, so she could burn her alive but she can't so she does the only thing that is left there, she punches her.

"Well, you're certainly a badass, Regina." Robin said with a smirk across his face and she couldn't stop that half-snort half-chuckle that escaped from her mouth. "Being resourceful came very useful especially without my magic." She returned with a slight playfulness in her tone but Robin didn't came with any other response.

After a moment of silence he asked seriously "What happened to him?" Not that he would care if he didn't know it was him who Regina was sleeping with.

"I…" Her expression changed but she hesitated only for a half a second, "I squeezed his heart to ashes."

In the next chapter we will see the last bit of Regina's memories, some more important conversations and SOMETHING ELSE what I am not going to spoil because I am so excited about it. Yay! Leave your guesses what it's gonna be in review and also pls let me know if you liked this chapter, it would mean a lot!
See you soon.
xxx