Here is a list of the chapters I have set so far for this story. (I added a chapter in after Church since my last list)

Bike Ride (Completed)

After Graduation (Completed)

Day Two with Serena (Completed)

Church

Daisy

First day at work

Summer Vacation

May

Bachelor Party

Dawn

Sometimes when we go to church, we do not end up with the feel good emotions like we do a lot of times. Our past seems to catch up to us when we listen to eh Word begin spoken to us. We think of what we have to be guilty over, what we need to change in life and how we can change it. WE get scared, sad, angry and depressed. This is the perfect time to approach the pastor afterwards, or someone you trust and let go what is bothering you. He has heard it all but he should also understand what this is doing to you. If you go a to a church that you cannot comfortably approach your pastor, then you need to determine if you are the reason or if you do not have that kind of trust in your pastor. I f the first, trust in the pastor and pray to God for comfort and strength to approach him, if the second, start looking for another church.

You might be at a church your friends and family love but if you do not have that connection but have the love of God in you then do not be scared to look until you have that connection. To be with a body of believers you can trust and feel comfortable with is important.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and let you know more mentions of rape but no details.

Church

The final song was done and all sat down waiting for the pastor to speak. He looked over at Ash and Misty; he knew both of them and was happy to see them together, holding hands and Misty resting against him. This happiness is not what he wanted to see because it hindered the opening line he had prepared for the sermon today. He took a deep breath and looked over the larger than normal crowd for this early in the day must be going to be nice out and my eleven o'clock service will be light.

This delay was to build up the intensity of what he was going to say, and to get him internally prepared with prayer and with intense speech.

"MURDERS, ALL OF YOU AND ME, WE ARE MURDERS" Ash and Misty jumped and the three girls wondered what kind of church they went too.

Misty leaned to Ash's ear "Now if this will not scare out friends away" and he nodded.

Both had already accepted they were part of the cause of Jesus dying on the cross but to non-believers they would be insulted being called a murdered.

"The moment Jesus took his last breath we should all of been sentenced to hell, all those who died before him and all of us who were not born yet. Our names are on His cross as one who murdered this perfect man" the pastor continued.

"When we hate someone, sleep around to give our body freely, kill by aborting our unborn children, and men this is not just a female issue, did you know most women abort because of either the abuse you put on them or the lack of your support for them once you found out she is pregnant. You men must be responsible for your actions and if you fail to refrain, be responsible for the woman you were with and the unborn child and the child once it is born."

Ash looked over at Misty and Serena and they were holding hands and both crying, a lot of people were crying. May and Daisy were silent not knowing what is being said but felt the atmosphere of the congregation become very low, it was if guilt was casted upon them all.

Misty leaned over to Ash "Serena turned down the morning after pill; she is taking the chance because if a baby is meant to be, she does not want to kill it." Ash knew Misty talked to her at the hospital and would later ask if she wanted to share the conversation.

Ash reached past Misty and put his hand on Serena's "I am proud of you, please forgive me for failing you." He then removed his hand and did not bother to look at Serena, if he had, he would have seen shock and also worry she had for his mood.

The next few minutes of the service was how our sins put Jesus on the cross and how we have made choices today that have affected the world a couple thousand years ago. The church was quieter than Ash and Misty ever remember. A lot of middle age and older people in the service, unlike the one Misty went to that was mostly college kids or young adults. She wondered how they would take this message since they seemed to have more liberal viewpoints.

"We as Christians have taken on much in our lives, the Devil does not like us and we sometimes make choices that are wrong. Jesus forgives us for these choices but ask we turn from these ways. The free will to choose is a tough one and God could easily force us to follow him but he does not."

The pastor paused, a pause like he wanted to let it sink in but in reality he was trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say next. "How many here have been the innocent victims of a crime. You do not need to raise your hands but think about it." He let the congregation think and Ash thought back to when he was abused and he knew were the pastor was going with this.

"God has told us that we are to suffer from the sins of our parents. Does this make sense coming from a loving God, it does not but God is a loving God and he has given us a way out. WE might of murdered Jesus but his death, and then resurrection was for us, the same people who killed them. Unfortunately innocent people are the victims of those who make bad choices."

The pastor looked over at Ash and Ash nodded. Misty noticed this but she was wondering what was up but the pastor began to speak. "We have one young man who was raped by a step father and his step father's friends. His mother was murdered and raped by these same people and it has changed his life but his love for God is one of the strongest I know and he tries to protect his friends and when they make bad decision, he does not blame God or them, takes it upon himself, he brings it onto him to learn more about God to learn what he needs to do to protect his friends. He had been betrayed by friends and he forgives them, he has been cheated on by girls he has loved and he used this to have guidance to the girl he will someday marry, a girl I know and she is perfect for him. He does not hate God but learns from it and that is what God ask us. Sometimes the innocent are victims of others evil. Ash, will you please stand up."

Ash stood up and the congregation clapped for him but he hushed them down. "Last night my childhood best friend left my place being confused by God and I chose not to stop her. She ended up deciding to go with her old way of life and she was raped last night and she came to me first. I did not deserve her to lean on me because I felt she was going to have evil done upon her. She is with me here today and all I ask is she trust me I love her and she can count on me even though I failed her already in her second day of wanting to get closer to God." Ash was in a full cry now and the words were difficult to get out. "Please forgive me Lord for letting one of your lost sheep get hurt and I take responsibility for her pain, cast judgement on me Lord and not on Serena for she should not suffer because of my short comings." Serena stood up and hugged him; she rubbed his back but was crying too hard to say anything.

Misty, then May and Daisy stood up and the five of them hugged followed by some who sat with Ash every Sunday morning. Most knew his story but this was new and he needed the fellowship of believers around him.

"God does instruct us to care for the weak and tend to the widows and children but Ash must lean on God now and I am glad he came to me this morning. We have been in prayer and conversation since three this morning and I learn as much from him as I hope he gets from me." The pastor wiped his eyes because he had been holding back his own tears and one finally snuck out.

"As we have communion today, remember to right your heart with God before you come up here to receive the gift of body and blood from our savior. We will have a few moments of silence for you to clear your heart."

Ash could not stop sniffing and Misty had her arm around him and she prayed for Ash and not herself her voice was soothing to him and then he felt another hand, another and a few more and he looked a few people around him where also whispering a prayer for him instead of their own hearts. Misty held him protectively close and continued to pray even after the pastor rad the communion message and the rows started to file out.

Serena, Daisy and May did not know what to do but when Ash and Misty did not move, they did not either. They felt they did not deserve to go up there but why not Ash and Misty. Misty would not let go of Ash and he even told her to go ahead but she refused. "God has connected my heart to yours and when you ache I ache. We are a couple not joined by words or actions but by God's love. I am here for you Ash and God has forgiven you."

"I thank you Misty but we are connected but also have our own path, if your heart is cleared then please go up." She knew he was right so she did but she had her hands folded and was praying for Ash the short walk to the altar.

Everyone was done and there was silence, Ash looked up and he saw his pastor and friend standing before him. "Ash, God has forgiven you IF you have done anything wrong. You told me this morning you know God has forgiven Serena for her past but will she forgive herself and yet you are doing the same. My brother and my friend, you have earned the body and blood of Christ." He handed Ash the bread and then the wine and said "This is His Body; he gave for You Ash Ketchum because he loves you and died for you." Ash put it in his mouth and then accepted the wine "This represents His blood, the blood He shed for you when He died on the cross for you to pay for your sins and because He loves you and will lead you into His Father's kingdom."

It was time for the offering and Ash took out five one hundred dollar bills and gave one to each of the girls and he kept one. He did not tell them what to do, he knew Misty knew what it was for and she started to protest because she was reaching for her purse but he pleaded with his eyes and she gave in.

The plate came to Serena first and without hesitation she put it in, Ash was proud because he knew money was important to her and he remembers those day when he did things based on budget. He is lucky now he gets paid very well and the money from his mother's estate and he shares a very generous amount with the church. He reminded himself to give the lesson of the cheerful giver to Serena.

The rest put the money in too and a small part of Ash felt good he can provide for the church and also do it through the hands of his friends. He looked up at pastor and smiled and he was returned with a smile.

The pastor and Ash met the night Dawn dumped him because he was having some doubts and it was during this time he learned to trust God and be patient with the path chosen for him. It was because of this meeting the one the night before he met Misty that prompted him to prayer the prayer to bring them back together if they are meant to be together forever. He prayed out of trust in God and he was happy he did.

After the offering, the pastor did announcement, one was about a support group for people who have been abused, and Ash is part of this. The group is also for love ones of abused people, he told Misty he is part of it and she decided she was going to join him. This was part of his life and she was there to be as supportive of him as he was of her.

After church, Ash wanted to treat the girls to a brunch he loved to go to. He took Misty's hand and told them it was a few block walk and asked Serena is she was okay to walk. She nodded she was but was very quiet.

"You okay Serena" May asked her.

"Ash, is every service that intense? I am not sure I could handle that weakly."

"First, not every service is that intense and it was not until last night when I was talking with him about everything that past few days that he decided to do this service. He said he had a service I needed to hear and asked if I wanted to share a bit of the last two days. I am sorry I did not get permission but I trust God, the pastor and the people I worship with."

Serena thought for a while "Can I join you next week too?" he told her she could and the biggest surprise was Daisy and May asking if they could join.

After they determined they all would go to church and decided on the 9:30 time. Earlier than Misty used to go and later than Ash but he was willing to compromise if it meant his friend and fiancée going with him.

The mood was much lighter and they share many laughs. Everyone was having a great time except Daisy; she was very quiet and seemed to be drowning herself in food. Ash would not have known this but the girls knew she was not a heavy eater and were surprised when she went for her third plateful.

Daisy is a very friendly girl and May met her when she was a sophomore in High school and Daisy was a freshman in college. The kept in touch and Daisy somehow got a house and she offered for May to stay there and both Misty and Serena answered an ad and were accepted there. Within a week all four girls felt like best friends but not that Misty thinks back, Daisy shared very little of her childhood when the other girls talked about growing up.

Daisy was walking back to the table and she stopped about five feet from them, she started to cry and they all looked at her. She suddenly dropped her full plate and looked at Ash.

"My step father used to rape me" and then she ran off.

A/N: You might wonder while the topic of sexual abuse in different ways is part of this story. I first intended it to be just Ash's mother story but then if the step father was this far off I darkness he would abuse everyone in the household, not always but I decide to make it part of the story.

With Serena it was a decision of a lifestyle she was in and she expected like normal because she was babied her whole life, nothing will go wrong and if something does someone will take care of her. Her experience opened her eyes that poor decision can lead to being a victim and she will have to change her ways before she is hurt worst.

With Daisy, first because Ash's confession brought her childhood to the current times, a childhood that she has held down from come forth since she as removed physically from the situation but with a lot of pain and we will find that she is a kind person but her overly protective manner and coddling of the four girls is to cover up her own pain. She does have some issues with each one to the girls, whether they are bad or not, but they get on her and she had been bottling them up.

God has a way of putting people I our lives who can understand almost what we are going through. He works through these people and shows how His love can shine through the darkest of times. We are not alone during darkness God promises and he puts people with us to help us walk in the path intended for us.

I promise to have some fun storied in this series with light romance between Ash and Misty and who knows who else might find a person to share their lives with. I intentionally have left one chapter title out as a surprise but that is a few stories away.