The Truth Of The Heart

Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it.

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Chapter 5: Angst In Plenty

Monday evening cane and went, Lily and James frantically (well, as frantically as James could manage) finalising the schedule and arrangements for Halloween. They made time on Tuesday for an extra meeting, and with all the work that she had put in, Lily felt confident enough to put the contest aside and concentrate on her neglected homework in the library, early on Thursday evening. She had managed to secure a corner table, one of the more secluded study areas, with a large table ensconced on two sides by the walls, and on the other two by tall, almost floor-to-ceiling bookcases, with a small gap in between, so that students could enter and leave, and also so that Madam Pince could keep an eye on what was going on. All in all, it was very private, and Lily was feeling fairly content as she worked peacefully on a Charms essay, trying hard not to think of the upcoming tutoring session.

Suddenly, Emma stalked into the Lily's alcove, almost threw herself and her bag down, and buried her head in her arms. Lily eyed her cautiously.

"Em?" she asked in a whisper.

Long moments passed. Distantly, Lily heard the library door swing open, and footsteps enter, come near them, and then stop at the tables next to their area.

"Em, what's wrong?" she asked again Emma finally lifted her head, and Lily was startled to see that it was tear-streaked. What could have happened at a Prefects' meeting to make Emma react like this? She moved over to Emma's side, and put her arm round her. "Em, what happened? Did Malfoy or Narcissa say something?"

Emma shook her head mutely. "It's not them." She swallowed. "It's Remus."

Lily heard a soft gasp somewhere, but was too confused to register it. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Did he do something to you, Em? Because if he did, I swear I'll -"

Emma smiled shakily, but her mouth soon drooped. "It's nothing he did, Lily. Well, not really."

Lily still looked (and felt) bewildered. "Ok, seeing as I can't understand anything, let's start at the beginning. What happened in the Prefects meeting to make you so . . . like this?"

"It's nothing m-much." Emma swiped at her eyes fiercely. "Just that we were organising who would help with what for Halloween, so me and Remus signed up for setting everything up with you and James,. And afterwards, everyone was really happy, because mostly everything was sorted, so we were all smiling and hugging each other. And – and Remus h-hugged me." She dissolved into tears again, and Lily was shocked to see how helplessly her friend was crying. Emma was always so calm, and composed, and self-controlled.

"I can't take it anymore," she mumbled through her tears.

Comprehension dawned. "Em, you don't . . . do you like Remus?"

"I don't like him." Emma sniffed. "I hate him. I hate that he can do this to me. I hate him so much. I-I think I love him."

Lily gaped openly. "What?"

"I-I should have – should have told you b-before. I nearly did, when I first found out I was Prefect, and you were asking me. I've – I've liked him since fifth year. And I've t-tried to handle it, through all the meetings and lessons, but this was the last straw. I worked so hard to hide it, and I can't do that anymore."

Lily stared, She had sometimes suspected that Emma was hiding something, but she had no idea that this was the reason that her friend always seemed so tense about Prefect meetings. She put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Oh, Em."

Emma again swiped ineffectually at her cheeks, and swallowed.

"I've decided," she said in a stronger voice. "I'm going to Dumbledore first thing tomorrow to hand in my badge. I don't want to feel like this all the time around him."

"No! You can't! Emma, please!"

"It's no good. It's too difficult, trying to act all the time. I think I might ask Professor Flitwick to move me as well."

Lily thought fast. "Look Emma, can't we at least talk about it? Come on, let's go to the dormitory."

Hastily, she shoved her things into her bag, and Emma wiped her red eyes with a tissue. Lily pushed her out, and picked up her own bag, but Emma had frozen, a few steps ahead. Moving forward, Lily saw what the problem was.

Remus Lupin had been sitting at the alcove next to theirs.

In one horrified glance, Lily took in everything. The parchment scattered over the table, proof that he must have genuinely been working. The bottle of ink that had spilled over the table as he stood up hastily. Worst of all, the proximity of the table to the bookcase that divided the areas. There was no way he could not have heard everything Emma had said; one bookcase separating two tables a foot apart was not enough to block sound. That much was evident from the way that he was staring at Emma, with his mouth open. Emma stared straight back at him for what seemed like an eternity, her face aghast. Then, with a terrified sob, she fled from the library. Taking a last glance at Remus' gobsmacked expression, Lily followed, only catching up with her friend on the stairs to the dormitory.

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Half an hour later, Lily had managed to calm Emma down, convinced her not to hand in her badge until at least after Halloween, and even persuaded her to go down and eat something. Emma rinsed her face and went, leaving Lily to bleakly realise that it was time to go down herself and meet James. Here comes the tutor from hell, she thought, as she opened the library door.

James was waiting for her in the same alcove where Emma had recently made such a dramatic confession, and Lily could not help but feel a slight sense of foreboding. Little did she foresee what was about to take place.

As she arrived, James was unloading a heap of books from his bag. He grinned as she stared in dismay at the pile.

"Don't worry. These are just a few books I got out for Remus."

'Good,' Lily said, in relief, still feeling a slight twinge at the name dropped.

"Well, let's do this, then," and with that, he drew out a small white mouse, and placed it on the desk, holding its tail. Lily looked nonplussed.

"I know how to do that. I've known how to do that since fifth year."

"Exactly!" James said. "So you should start with what you do know, and then get to what you don't." He pointed his wand at the opening between the bookcases and muttered something. "A Silencing Charm," he explained. "That way we can talk, and Pince won't hear."

Three quarters of an hour later, Lily had successfully Transfigured five mice, three newts, and one fat bullfrog, all of which James had magically (A/N, no pun intended!) produced from his bag. Oddly enough, Lily was actually feeling comfortable with the situation; James still laughed at her mistakes, but it was more of an unsarcastic one, and he had kept her spirits up fairly well.

Reaching into his bag once again, James produced what could only conceivably be a chicken, except that it was limp.

"Don't worry, it's fake. Enervate." The fake bird rose up and began to scratch and peck at the table very realistically. For the millionth time, James rooted around in the bag.

"Damn, I've left the next bit up in my room." He looked warily at Lily, who was sizing up the chicken. "I'll go up and get it, if you think you can handle this by yourself?"

Lily nodded.

"Ok then. Be right back. You get to work."

She watched his disappearing back as he left the library, and then turned her attention to the chicken, which was now flapping its wings in a despondent way. She cleared her throat.

"Aura Metamorphi," she said.

What happened next was slightly confusing.

The chicken . . . exploded, soundlessly, and yellow gunk spewed out onto Lily.

For seconds, Lily stared, motionless, at the remains of the bird lying on the table, her mind blank.

Slowly, she lowered her wand, just as James came back in, carrying (surprisingly) another bag. He stopped short at the sight in front of him, and his mouth twisted into a grin. 'What the hell happened?'

As if in a dream, Lily looked past him, in the direction he had come from, and saw Sirius and Peter's faces peering in between books, doing their best to hide smirks. Sirius. Peter. James. Lily's mind flicked from one to the other, and something clicked.

This had all been a joke.

A big joke.

She turned round and began to put her books and wand into her own bag.

"Lily?" James sounded puzzled. "Scourgify." The yellow stuff disappeared from the shelves and floor, although it was still on Lily's robes. She stood up.

"Your friends are over there," she said coolly. James looked at the bookcase confusedly (acting innocent, a voice in Lily's head said), and a look of understanding broke out on his face.

"You think that – I can explain – I had –"

"Save it, Potter," she said evenly. Head held high, she walked calmly out of the library; past Madam Pince, past staring students, and out through the double doors, into the cool air of the corridor.

Only then did she begin to run.

She ran blindly. Behind her, she could hear distant shouts of "Lily!" and feet pounding, as James raced after her in hot pursuit; or perhaps that was not just feet, but the pounding of her own heart as well; her head whirling in a flurry of confused thoughts and emotions to match the pace of her legs. In such a turbid state of mind, it was no wonder that she lost her way several times, and was beginning to get a stitch when she finally reached a passage she recognised. She hurtled the length of the corridor and skidded to a halt in front of the Fat Lady.

"Amica fidele," she gasped at the portrait, clutching her side.

"LILY!" The voice sounded closer, as did the footsteps.

"What on earth have you been doing?" said the Fat Lady curiously.

"LILY! WAIT!" Lily looked back to see James turning the corner, his face red with effort.

"Please, just open!" she begged desperately. She could feel a tingling sensation in her throat, and cast another panicked look behind her. If she didn't get away, she was going to –

"Oh, very well," said the Fat Lady, sniffily, and she swung open.

Just as James reached it, the portrait closed, and the few seconds that it took him to say the password were all that Lily needed. She sprang across the Common Room, attracting even more attention, and was halfway up the stairs when James scrambled through the hole and sprinted after her. 'Please! WAIT!' he shouted, but it was too late. Lily had already reached the top and the staircase smoothed out into a slide, transporting James all the way down to the bottom. Disconsolately, he flung himself onto the bottom step and put his head in his hands.

Mind working on autopilot, Lily darted down the corridor leading to her dorm. She had to get there before -. Throwing open the door, she entered the silent, dark room, and hurled her bag haphazardly onto the bed, not noticing as all the contents spilled out.

She slumped against the wall, and slid down into a sitting position. Despite the mess on her robes, she rested her head on her arms, and began to cry.

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A/N: So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon! The stupid site isn't spacing my chapter out, though, so sorry if it's a little confusing!