The Truth Of The Heart
Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)
A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear!
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Chapter 8: Halloween II – The Evening After
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A clock ticked unceasingly as Lily carefully turned the page of the book she had been attempting to read. Grimacing slightly, she skimmed halfway down the page before giving up. Rolling over on her bed, she pushed the book underneath, and reached for a magazine. A quarter of the way through "How To Curse Your Ex To Pieces (Without Breaking Any Laws)', Emma came in. Though she looked her usual calm self, something was . . . not normal. There was an air of suppressed joy about her – her eyes looked bright, and she had what could only be described as a spring in her step.
Lily looked up.
"Em!" she cried, getting up. "Are you alright?"
"Totally blood-free." Emma grinned. "Madam Pomfrey healed it in about a minute, apparently, and I came round half an hour later." She looked round. "Where is everyone?"
"Gone to Hogsmeade. Last minute 'necessities', they called it." Lily sat back down on her bed. "I have everything I need already." Her eyes fell upon the clock on her table, and she frowned. "Emma, if you were okay after half an hour . . . then where have you been for the last one and a half hours?"
Emma avoided Lily's keen stare. "Uh. That. I was . . . you know . . . going places, meeting people, doing things."
Lily eyed Emma's fast-reddening complexion. "Yeah, right! Emma Vance, you are hiding something from me, and I am exercising my full rights as best friend to demand that you tell me what it is!"
"Nothing! Just . . . Remus . . ." She touched her lips tentatively.
"HE KISSED YOU! Oh my -" Lily suddenly found herself speechless.
"Shh!" Emma said, but she was smiling too. "The whole House'll hear!"
"When did this happen?" demanded Lily breathlessly, having regained her voice. "How? Where?"
Emma sat down comfortably on the bed and grinned.
"Well, I woke up in the Hospital Wing, and the first thing I saw was his face, looking all anxious. Except when he saw my eyes open, I think he must have jumped back about a foot, because he fell right off his chair." She laughed, and so did Lily. "Then, once he'd picked himself up, he started asking me how I was feeling – but when I said that I had a bit of a headache, he looked all depressed, and told me he had dropped . . . what was it?"
"A pumpkin?" Lily supplied helpfully.
"That's it. He said he had dropped a pumpkin on me and I had gone unconscious. I still don't remember that . . ." Emma shook her head bemusedly, as if to clear it.
"Go on," Lily urged.
"Yeah, so then after we had got past that, he suddenly gave me this really serious look, and said, 'Emma, we need to talk about the other day.' And at first I was really confused, because I couldn't remember anything . . . and then it all came back to me. So I rolled over, because I really didn't want to have to look at him, you know? And he said, 'I honestly didn't mean to overhear what you were saying that night,' so I went, 'But you did anyway, didn't you? That's the problem.' The thing is, I do believe him, at least now, because . . . well, he sounded sincere. I think."
"Then what happened?" Lily asked eagerly.
"Then he goes, 'It's just that . . . that . . .' I got kind of irritated, because I was thinking 'If he wants to tell me he hates me, he should just do it,' and I said 'That what?' And that's when he said, 'That I feel the same way. As you." Emma cocked her head slightly. "And for a moment, I just couldn't breathe. I turned over to look at him and went, 'Is this a joke?' He just gave me this look, and said, really quietly,' I meant what I said.' Then he looked at his watch and goes, really fast, ' Oh, damn, I have to go meet . . . uhm, James, so I'll see you around,' and he half-ran out."
"No, no, no, no, stupid, stupid Remus," Lily groaned, letting herself fall onto her back. A few seconds later, she sat up again sharply. "Hang on, what am I saying? There's more to tell, right? Keep talking."
"Well, as soon as Madam Pomfrey let me get up, I went off, and I figured I would find Remus, because I couldn't just leave the whole thing hanging. I looked everywhere . . . and I mean, everywhere." Emma scowled at the memory. "The library, the owlery, the kitchens, the hall, the common room, the lake and the Quidditch pitch – I even got Peter to check the boys' dormitory. Then I got tired of searching for someone who was so obviously trying to avoid me, so I just wandered around. That's when I found him. He was . . . sitting on the floor in the middle of a corridor, staring at his hands." She shifted uncomfortably, and Lily got the feeling that it was becoming harder to express in words what she had felt. "He looked . . . well, lost. So I walked up to him, and said something like, 'I meant what I said, that day in the library.' He jumped, and then he got up really slowly and gave me this look – it felt like he was trying to read my mind, or analyse me." Emma looked very distant, as if she were reliving the past as she told it. "And then, he said quietly, 'Really?' and I think I nodded." She laughed softly. "I said something like 'Always,' but it didn't matter because then, he – he kissed me." She looked at her hands.
Lily lowered her own hands, which had been over her mouth.
"That is the most romantic thing I have ever, ever heard, and the best thing about it is that it's true. What did it feel like?"
Emma laughed again. "It was . . . wonderful. He was nervous at first, but then he relaxed . . . and his lips are so soft." She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again to shoot a wicked grin at Lily. "He has a very nice body too."
Lily's mouth fell open. "Too much information, Em! He's your boyfriend, not mine!"
"He said he's liked me since fourth year, when I had to spend so much time helping him with Astronomy homework, remember?"
Lily smiled. "You two must have either been very good at hiding it, or completely blind." She looked at her watch. "The others'll be back from Hogsmeade soon. We might as well start getting ready for the contest now. You know what Serena's like when she hogs the mirrors. Besides, we should get decent seats tonight as well."
Emma looked uncomfortable. "Yeah…about that. Lils, would you mind if we sat with Remus?"
Lily opened her mouth to say yes, and then closed it again. "That means sitting with . . ."
"Sirius, James and Peter. Yeah." Emma fidgeted as Lily began to shake her head.
"I am not sitting with them. Especially with that prick of a Head Boy. You sit with Remus, I'll find…Callie or something." Callie West was one of their dorm mates.
"No! Lily, I am NOT letting you go off by yourself! Look, if you want me to, I'll tell Remus I can't. Or else, just sit with us. You can still talk to me and Remus. Please?"
Lily looked at Emma's beseeching expression and relented. "Ok," she said, grudgingly. "But do NOT leave me with those jerks, or I will walk off and I will not come back."
"Done!" said Emma happily. "This is going to be perfect."
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By ten to six, the seventh-year girls' dormitory was loud and noisy, with everyone rushing around. Emma, however, was ready, and so was Lily, who was just adding the finishing touches to her hair.
"Didn't anyone tell you that catsuits are so out of fashion?" Serena said nastily as she passed by.
Emma turned. "Didn't anyone tell you that I don't care?" she questioned innocently. Serena made a huffing noise as she turned to the mirror.
"Ignore her, Em. You look great," Lily said, and it was true. She was wearing a black leather catsuit, which looked stunning on her slim body, and daring high-heeled black ankle boots. Her chestnut hair had been straightened, and a streak of eyeshadow completed her look. Strangely enough, Lily had noticed that since her meeting with Remus, she seemed a lot more relaxed and self-assured, and it was doing wonders to her already calm demeanour.
"And I suppose you look awful?" Emma said sarcastically. Lily looked down at her simple costume, and sighed. She wished she had had the courage now to wear something more adventurous.
"We'd better go," she said absently.
Emma slipped on a pair of shades, and grinned mysteriously. "Come on." Laughing, the two of them made their way down to the Great Hall.
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James saw her the moment she walked in, and his heart seemed to freeze up for a moment. She and Emma had paused, just inside the doors to look around, and from where he was seated, he had a perfect vantage point. She was dressed in a white dress with drooping sleeves, which seemed tailored to fit her, and emphasise her naturally trim (in James' eyes) figure (A/N: think of the white dress that Eowyn wore in The Lord of the Rings; The Two Towers at Rohan, just when Theodred died and Grima tried to get his ugly paws on her). Her skin glowed, and her hair, hanging straight down her back, had highlights of different hues of red in it, giving her a thoroughly individual look. Above her head, a magical halo glittered; interwoven magical sparks of gold.
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Emma spotted them and began to walk over, Lily following. Beside him, James heard Remus shift uncomfortably. Emma reached them first and smiled at Remus, who blinked, and then leapt out of his seat and bowed, before kissing her hand. "Remus Lupin at your service, milady."
"Emma Vance, international spy." She removed her sunglasses and raised an eyebrow. "A Tudor nobleman?"
"But of course." He turned to Lily. "And we have the Princess Lily in our company tonight?"
"Actually," Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's an angel." She reached behind her.
"But where are your . . ." Sirius began, just as Lily found what she was looking for.
Without warning, a large pair of shimmering wings unfurled from her back, causing Remus to step back in shock.
" . . . wings," Sirius finished lamely.
"They're a bit cumbersome, aren't they?" Lily smiled amicably, but it was quite apparent that it was only directed at two people – Emma and Remus. "That's why they fold up." She reached behind again, and a moment later, the wings closed up again, yet when Remus looked at her back, there was no evidence of there having ever been any sort of apparatus to release wings – she merely appeared to be wearing a dress.
They sat down, and very soon, the table had become split into two groups. Lily, Emma and Remus were talking together, and on the other side, James, Sirius and Peter had their heads together. Or rather, Sirius and Peter, since James was in his own world of thought. The silences that inevitably occurred were still rather painful, and despite every attempt Remus made, Lily refused to join in any conversation involving James.
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Soon enough, the contest started. The five judges, Professor Dumbledore and Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Singrey, respective Heads of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, sat at a long table, and the students paraded past as their name was called out. Faye Fletcher had indeed come dressed as a prostitute, and received a large share of shocked looks at her raunchy outfit. Sirius caused a big stir among the girls as he sauntered along, dressed as he was, like an American gangster, with the accent to match, and James got much the same response in his neat black and white tuxedo, although Lily still had no idea who he was meant to be, as she had blocked her ears to avoid hearing his voice when he told the judges. Emma, too, got several whistles from the boys in her catsuit. Lily herself found that while she got no whistles, the brilliancy of her complexion and her innocent manner got her a lot of compliments. Some people had obviously made a lot of effort on themselves, and it was a happy crowd of trolls, fairies, magical creatures, and characters from history, literature and films that sat down to eat.
After she had finished her apple pie, Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom, growing tired of the awkward silences. When she got there, however, she was startled to hear a loud sob as she washed her hands. She looked cautiously around the otherwise empty room.
"Is that you, Moaning – sorry, I mean, Myrtle?" she called out tentatively.
She was answered a few minutes later by another sob, this time more muffled. Advancing on the toilet at the end, she pushed at it to find that it was locked.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"Go away." The voice sounded strangely familiar.
"If you don't unlock the door, I'm going to climb up and look over it anyway," she pointed out.
"Go away."
Lily racked her brain, trying to match the voice with a name.
"Sapphire?" she asked in amazement. "It's Lily. Open the door!"
For a few seconds, there was nothing. Then the lock clicked, and Lily pushed the door open to see Sapphire Heathleigh, one of her dorm mates, and Callie's best friend, sitting on the toilet, her face streaked with tears.
"Saffy! What's wrong?"
Sapphire shook her head. "Nothing."
"Come on, tell me."
"Nothing . . . just that Callie broke up with me." A single tear made its way down her cheek.
"What? Why?" Lily exclaimed, furiously racking her brains to work out what was going on. Weren't Callie and Sapphire best friends? But Sapphire began to cry again, and Lily sensed that this was probably not the best time to inquire. Instead, she hauled Sapphire to her feet.
"Come out. You can come sit with us. Let's just clean you up a bit." She offered her some tissues, and soon Sapphire's face had returned to normal, except for a few red blotches on her cheeks. Dusting both their dresses off, Lily talked cheerfully to Sapphire as they headed back.
"That's a lovely costume." She looked admiringly at her sleeveless grass-green dress of sheer gauze, which hung loosely on her willowy frame, and the circlet of daisies in her pale brown hair. "Are you an earth maiden or something?"
"A Dryad," replied Sapphire, seemingly grateful to hear a friendly voice. "You know, the tree goddesses from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe."
"Oh, I used to love that book!" Lily said in delight.
Arriving in the Hall as the food was cleared away, Lily led Sapphire to their table.
"Get an extra chair, will you Remus? Sapphire's going to hang around with us for the evening."
A chorus of 'Hi's resounded, and Sapphire smiled tremulously as she sat down. Leaning across, James began a conversation with her, although Sirius seemed unable to look at her and appeared to spend a lot of time gazing at the floor instead.
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For her part, Lily was feeling fairly content with the fact that she was only talking to three people on the table (or so she told herself), and she watched contently as Daniel Jordan ascended the stage.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your evening entertainment, we have a performance from . . . the Charmed Ones!"
Three witches walked out onto the stage to wild applause, and immediately struck up a bouncy tune as the lights dimmed. It had been a stroke of luck that Lily and James had been able to hire such a popular and well-known group. Girls were keen on them because of their singing, and boys liked them because of their . . . well, looks. How superficial. Lily settled back in her chair and sighed.
Halfway through the concert, Lily decided to visit the toilet again. She had just come out of the Hall quietly, when she realised that there was someone blocking her way. A greasy-haired someone.
"Out alone, Mudblood?" he sneered.
"Go away, Snape."
"Oh, but why would I do that? You're not even being polite."
"Snape, get out of my way." Lily knew she was getting riled.
"You haven't even said please."
"I don't intend to."
Something in her voice made Snape tense. "Then maybe you should learn how." Without warning, he whipped out his wand, and suddenly Lily felt her arm being twisted behind her back. She opened her mouth to cry out with the pain, but could not make a sound – Snape had put a Silencing Charm on her. She writhed helplessly, grimacing as her arm began to cramp. Snape was watching her in a kind of miserable satisfaction.
The next thing she knew, the pain in her arm had suddenly abated, and Snape had been thrown to the ground. Lily spun around, massaging her freed and painful arm, to see James standing there, fury radiating from his darkened hazel eyes, and his wand trained on Snape.
"What makes you think that you have a right to curse someone who is innocent?" he said, his voice dangerously low and cold.
Snape sat up slowly and began to move towards his wand. James jerked his own, and Snape's wand rose in mid-air and flew another few feet away.
"I know that was an unprovoked attack for a fact. Fifty points from Slytherin for that alone. Then there was the fact that you were intentionally causing another student harm. Another fifty points gone from Slytherin." His voice shook slightly, but the hand that held the wand was quite steady.
Snape made an unexpected dive towards his wand, go it, and scrambled to his feet. He opened his mouth to curse James, but James was too fast for him. "Expelliarmus," he said, and Snape's wand soared to James. "You'll get this back tomorrow – when I've reported you to McGonagall. Go." Snape didn't need to be asked twice. He shot them a look of pure hatred and walked off, not towards the Great Hall, but the dungeons. At the top of the stairs that led down to them, he stopped and turned.
"I'll get you for this, Potter. And you, Mudblood." With that, he was gone.
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James lowered his wand, and looked warily at Lily, who gazed straightforwardly back at him. She was the first to speak.
"I'm not some damsel in distress."
"I know."
"And you're not a knight in shining armour."
"No."
"So you don't need to come and rescue me all the time."
"Ok."
"Because I could have handled that perfectly well on my own if I'd been prepared."
"That's good."
James turned and began to head back to the Hall.
"But . . ."
He swivelled round again.
"Thank you." She smiled at him. "I would have been much worse off today if you hadn't turned up."
"No problem." James was reaching breaking point. "Can we talk?"
"In light of recent events, I suppose so."
"Look Lily, about that whole library incident. I wasn't involved, I swear. Sirius and Peter planned the entire thing – they were the ones who suggested that I use the fake bird they had made to help tutor you. I'm sorry because I should have realised that they were plotting something because they were so interested in all the details of where, when and how, but apart from that, I'm sick of this." All of a sudden, James heard his voice rising as the frustration of the past few days poured out. "I'm sick of being ignored when I didn't do anything wrong! When I tried to explain everything, I don't know how many times, all I got was a cold shoulder! It's…It's ridiculous! I know I haven't exactly been a model person over the years, but that does NOT amount to this much! So why don't we just go inside, forget this whole thing ever happened, and you can go back to hating my guts in peace, like you have done for the last seven years! Maybe we should just stay away from each other!" He began to move away, towards the Hall, but Lily hurried forward and pulled at his arm.
"James? Please, wait." A shock passed up her hand as it made contact with his robes, and she withdrew it instantly, willing her eyes to convey the message instead. It was the use of his first name, as well as the spark that had passed between them, that made him turn round and look at her reluctantly.
"I'm – I'm sorry. So sorry." Lily tried to keep her gaze steady. "I didn't know. And I know it's my fault that I didn't listen, and I am honestly and truly sorry." She blinked, trying to choke back the unexpected lump in her throat. "But please forgive me. I don't hate your guts, and I don't want to stay away from you, because . . . I can't. We're friends," she added hastily.
James' eyes softened as he looked at her pleading expression, and he raked a hand through his hair.
Just then, Lily focused on the doors behind him, and James swung round to see Sirius' head appear.
"Hi people," he said jauntily. "Look Lily, before you slap me, I just wanted to say that you should forgive James. Me and Peter -" Here Sirius turned round to look behind, and frowned. "Okay, Peter's run off, since he's a chicken – no pun intended," he added quickly, as Lily flinched. "We take full responsibility for the whole . . . uh, event. So you and Jamesie can get back together, seeing as I'm being so mature, and everything."
James' neck went red as he glared at Sirius.
"Padfoot?" he said, through gritted teeth.
"Yeah?"
"Go away."
"Oh. Am I interrupting something here?" Confusion spread over Sirius' handsome features.
"Yes!" Lily groaned.
"Oh. Whoops! Sorry." He disappeared, and Lily looked back at James, who was staring at the floor and running a hand through his hair distractedly.
"Please?" she repeated softly. She stretched her arm out again, but, realising what she was doing, stopped halfway, her hand suspended in mid-air. "Friends?"
Masking his bitterness, James finally nodded, after a long moment. Grasping her hand and trying to ignore the sensations that told him how warm and soft her hand was, or how perfectly it fit into his, he looked her squarely in the eyes. "Friends."
Lily grinned happily. "Looks like you're saddled with me again, Mr Potter." Her eyes fell upon the top two buttons of his shirt, undone alluringly, and she swallowed again.
"Oh well. I'll blame it on the Butterbeer," James responded teasingly.
"Er, who or what are you meant to be anyway?" Lily asked curiously. James assumed a serious expression and put on a posh accent.
"Bond. James Bond. Charmed to meet you." He lifted her hand, as if to kiss it, but then, for no reason that Lily could see, dropped it suddenly. Instead, he bowed dramatically.
Lily laughed and began to walk towards the Hall. "Oh. Well, come on, Mr Bond. Sweet as this reunion is, I don't want to miss the whole concert because of you."
"Likewise," James replied, as he followed her.
Friends, he thought. Friends with a smart, beautiful, funny girl.
I'm an idiot.
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A/N: So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!
N.B. Originally, the song "Colourblind" by Darius was part of this chapter, but it's now been removed by me because I know of the sudden spate of removing-fics-due-to-song-lyrics that's been happening recently, and I want to save this fic before it becomes a casualty again – because if it does, it won't go up again (as I've said before) and I don't want that…