The Truth Of The Heart

Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?) Kudos to JKR, since I copied some bits out of CoS for authenticity in this chapter.

A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it.

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Previously on TTOTH…

The door flew open, and Emma looked up in surprise to see Lily standing in the middle of the dormitory, Sapphire closing the door quietly behind her.

'How'd it go?' she asked.

'How'd it go? How'd it go? I'll tell you how it went, Emma Vance. How could you do this to me?'

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Chapter 13: Hangover

"What?" Emma asked, clearly confused.

"Emma, I know I had my doubts, and even Saffy told me she wasn't happy about it, but how could you talk me into taking this stupid potion in the first place?"

Emma looked to Sapphire, who could only shrug.

"What went wrong? Did Remus say something?"

Lily laughed, but it was a sound that had no real mirth in it. "Oh yes, Remus totally likes you. He completely trusts you, and he thinks you're special." She spat the word out. "All you had to do was ask him, and he would have told you himself. Instead, you had to rope us all into this mess."

Emma still looked bemused. "Then what happened? Calm down, Lils, it can't have been anything that bad, can it?"

"Oh, nothing happened, Emma!" Lily was yelling now. "It's the principle of the thing! How could you talk me into – strike that, how could you come up with the whole idea of doing this?"

"Lily, why are you so worried? I mean, as long as they don't find out, it's alright, isn't it? I'm happy, you're happy, they're happy, it all turned out okay."

"So the end justifies the means, does it?" Lily exploded. "You're telling me it's fine to do the deceitful thing that we just did, because as long as you're not paranoid, it's all good, huh?"

"No, but . . ." Emma gave up trying to placate her and tried a different tack. "Well, at least it's all over now. We can just forget about it."

She had said the wrong thing.

"I don't think you understand, Emma! I've been feeling sick with myself since I walked out of their dorm! We've spent all these years condemning the Marauders for all the pranks they've played over the years, when we've just done something that's worse, and more . . . more. . ." Lily struggled for words, "more immoral than anything they've ever done, or are probably ever going to do! The guilt from that isn't just going to go away, Emma! You don't just forget!"

Emma's eyes flashed. "In case you don't remember, Lily, I didn't force you into this! You do have your own free will!"

"I know. And I blame myself for agreeing to go along with this, but I blame you even more for deciding to go about it in this way!"

"But you didn't have to agree! This isn't some sort of forced labour camp – you're allowed to disagree with me! You're treating this like I made you take the potion!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't have to if you had told us before you started making it, so that we'd have some input!"

"That was because I knew you would react the way you did and stop me from getting anywhere with it!"

"Oh, so you had already planned for me to say yes? You think I'm such a pushover? Oh yes, Lily isn't stubborn at all, she'll do whatever I ask her to, even if it involves deceiving my boyfriend!"

"Actually, at the minute, you ARE being stubborn. A stubborn cow."

As Lily gaped in outrage, Sapphire stepped quickly in between the two of them; Lily had forgotten that she was even there. "Come on, can't we just sit down and talk this out calmly, before you bring the roof down?" Her words were brushed aside as the two girls glared daggers at each other. Emma was the first to speak.

"I can't believe my own best friend would turn on me."

"I can't believe my own best friend would be so deceitful," Lily shot back.

"You know, before you start labelling other people's faults, Lily Evans, you should take a look at your own."

"Well at least I admit when I'm in the wrong!"

"Do you? I can't hear you saying anything now! Just a load of mindless rubbish, that's all that's coming out of your mouth!"

Lily stared at her in shock. "Then maybe you won't be listening to mindless rubbish coming out of this mouth any longer!" she yelled. "Why were we ever friends?"

"Well we're not now, are we?" Emma shouted back.

Sapphire stared in horror.

"See if I care!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Lily stormed out of the dormitory, slamming it behind her. She could hear Sapphire calling her, behind, but the last thing she wanted to do was to walk back in, and so she continued down to the common room and sat down in a sofa by the window. The clouds drifting steadily by outside calmed her, and she began to feel more clear-headed, though not less angry or upset.

Eventually, she turned around and surveyed the room. The Marauders were lounging in chairs by the fire, discussing something intently. Just then, Remus said something to James, who turned round to see her. For a moment, he was tempted to smile at her, as their eyes locked, but he was arrested by the expression she held. She looked weary . . . as though she had lost her peace of mind. For a few seconds she held his gaze, then let it drop and turned back to the window.

"You know, Prongs," Sirius smirked. "Eye contact is widely known to be one of the most powerful forms of flirting."

"Save it, Sirius." James sighed. "I've told you before. We're just friends, for one thing, and besides, she obviously isn't in the mood for anything like that."

Sirius grinned. "Whatever you say, Prongs. Whatever you say."

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When Sapphire finally came down, she found Lily in the same position as she had been in half an hour ago.

"Hi Saffy," she said quietly, as Sapphire sat down.

"Hey. Look, I've just talked to Emma, and she's doing exactly the same thing as you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Go figure," she muttered quietly.

Sapphire frowned. "Please, can't you just talk to her and sort this out? You can't just pretend your friendship never existed!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Lily! Just go up and say the first word, and this'll be over!"

Lily shook her head. "Not going to happen. It's not my fault."

Sapphire looked at her for a moment. "Actually Lils, if you want the truth, some of it is. If you felt this strongly about it, you should've said so before you took the potion, not after."

"I KNOW, Saffy, ok? I already admitted that was my fault. It's Emma's problem now, not mine."

"But if you just made the first move, then -"

"No. I won't. Let her work it out by herself."

Sapphire sighed in defeat. "Okay," she said quietly. "I want you both to know that I'm not taking sides – it's between you two, and you both have to sort it out."

Lily nodded. "Look, I'm going to . . . uhm, do some homework in the library. See you around." She got up and walked out of the common room, before realizing that her bag was up in the dormitory, but she did not go back. Oh well, she thought, continuing to walk, maybe its better. I probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway. Stopping, she leant against the cool stone wall, just under a flickering torch, and rubbed her eyes furiously.

Why did it have to come to this?

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A/N: Looking back at this chapter, I found quite a few "Americanisms" where the language that Lily used didn't exactly…well, it was more americanised than I wanted it to be. I've changed it wherever possible, but a few examples remain, so please excuse them. Anyway, you know that little purple button? points at bottom left corner of screen It's calling your name, begging you to click it…respond to the call…leave a review…