Disclaimer: I do not own The Wrath and the Dawn. It belongs to Reneé Ahdieh. The dialogue and action in the Khalid/Shahrzad scenes are from the book.
A/N: Thank you as always to my wonderful readers/followers/reviewers!
In an attempt to make up for the lack of update this past weekend, I'm posting a bit earlier this week, and the chapter is a bit short...but hopefully I can get back on track and post again this weekend. Fingers crossed!
Chapter 9: Rain
(Corresponds with Chapter: To Inflict a Dark Wound of The Wrath and the Dawn, pages 197-204)
Following the sword lesson with Shahrzad, Khalid headed over to the stables and asked one of the stable boys to prepare his horse, Ardeshir. He had some spare time before dinner that evening, and he was in the mood for a ride around the palace.
After mounting his horse, he had Ardeshir gallop along the perimeter of the grounds.
As he went, he could feel the pleasant, cool breeze against his face. It was refreshing, especially after an afternoon of sword fighting...with his queen. He couldn't stop beaming since. He still had trouble believing that he had a bride who was fierce, independent, and a fighter who excelled in all things...and that she was someone who made him feel happy.
It was when he galloped his horse past one of the gardens that he felt a drop of water hit his face. As soon as he felt it, he tugged on the reins to bring Ardeshir to an immediate stop.
Khalid looked up at the grey, gloomy sky, and more drops of water fell upon him.
Rain.
It was raining.
The raindrops continued to fall, increasing in quantity and force.
Khalid had Ardeshir remain halted in his spot, just letting the rain cascade over him. His clothes and his hair were rapidly getting soaked, but he did not care. For such a long time, he feared it would never come. He had to make sure this moment was real.
He wasn't abiding by the curse, and yet...it was still raining. There wouldn't be a drought or a famine in Rey by keeping Shahrzad alive. His people wouldn't have to suffer, and he wouldn't have to feel any guilt for keeping his wife alive.
He would only have to continue suffering from exhaustion, but that was a sacrifice he was willing to make to keep Shazi in his life and not have to kill anymore innocent young women. He could manage it and get by, thanks to the services of the faqir.
Khalid could live his life with an extraordinary woman and not be completely controlled by the curse. He could hardly believe it and sent up prayers of gratitude. For once in his life, he felt a sense of...freedom.
Minutes passed, and he remained in the rain. It wasn't until he heard Ardeshir let out a neigh that he realized he should probably head back to the palace. He had Ardeshir trot back at a steady pace so he could enjoy the rain a little while longer.
When he dismounted his horse and handed Ardeshir over to the stable boy, Khalid immediately headed to the entrance of the palace at a quicker speed than usual, stepping into some unavoidable puddles along the way. Being completely drenched from head to toe, though, did not destroy his elation.
He couldn't wait to see Shahrzad that night.
After bathing and changing out of his slightly muddy clothes, he nibbled on a few foods for dinner, but he was too excited to eat much. Exhaustion tugged at his eyes, but his eagerness to see Shahrzad made it bearable. Everything was more bearable now that he knew his people wouldn't be affected by his past mistakes.
When he finished eating, he finally was able to make his way to Shahrzad's chamber slightly earlier than usual. Placing his hand upon the handle, he slowly opened the doors to her room. But when he didn't see her sitting at the table, he wondered if she had already gone to bed and quickly prayed that she did not. Looking in the direction of her bed, he saw her lying there with her eyes open.
"Were you sleeping?" he asked her.
"No."
He then entered the room and closed the doors behind him, but didn't step any further. "Are you tired?"
He hoped he wasn't disturbing her, but he really hoped she wasn't about to go to sleep. He so badly wanted to embrace her and hold her in his arms...especially today.
"No," she replied.
But he had to wonder...did she even want this? Did she even care about him as much as he cared for her? He continued to stand by the doors, debating if he should go near her. If she didn't want this, then he shouldn't even be here.
When he saw her get up from her bed and adjust her robe, he went over to her.
"Do you want me to finish the tale of Aladdin?" She asked him.
Normally, he would love to hear her stories. But not today. Today, all he wanted was her.
"No," he replied.
"Did you not sleep? You should sleep," she advised.
"I should."
But, perhaps against his better judgement, he never wanted to sleep if it meant he had to live without her.
"Khalid-"
"It rained today."
"Yes. For a little while."
He nodded in response. With the rain, he felt like he could finally permit himself to give himself and his heart to her, completely.
"Are you a fool for the rain, like Jalal?"
"No. I'm-just a fool."
He was a fool for letting the curse dictate the way he should live his life for as long as he did.
Shahrzad pressed her right hand against his face. He closed his eyes, reveling in her touch, and repressed his strong desire to suddenly pull her into his arms right then and there and kiss her.
When he opened his eyes, he placed his hands on both sides of her neck. He then let his right hand run through the tresses of her hair, along her shoulder, and down her back, while his left rubbed against her neck.
He wanted her...so very much.
But did she want him?
He continued to gaze into her eyes, and she looked up at him.
"What are you doing?" she questioned him softly.
"Exercising restraint."
"Why?"
"Because I failed to do so in the souk."
"Does that matter?"
"Yes it does. Do you want this?"
After a moment of silence, Shahrzad replied. "We've done this before."
"It's not the same. It won't be the same."
This time it wouldn't be just some perfunctory act like it was before. This time, it would actually mean something.
He kissed her beneath her earlobe and allowed his tongue to linger on her skin. "Do you want this?" he asked again, nervous about what her response would be.
"Why do you think I'm standing here, you idiot?"
Before Khalid could even react, she gripped his chin to face her and planted her lips against his. She ran her fingers through his hair as he embraced her and lifted her up off the floor. They fell back onto her bed, tearing down the veil that hung around it in the process.
As he inhaled the lilac scent of her hair, she yanked his qamis off of him and clutched onto his bare back. As he untied the laces of her shamla, he left a trail of kisses along her face to her neck.
"Tell me," he heard her say as he tried to slide the robe off of her, and her hands grabbed hold of his shoulders.
"Anything," he replied breathlessly in between kisses.
"Why did they have to die?" she said quietly.
Khalid froze.
He stared at her, horrified.
Why?
Why did she need to bring this up? Why did she need to remind him of his pain, his mistakes, the nightmares that constantly haunted him? He didn't want this moment to be spoiled by the ghosts of his past.
Instead, he was reminded that he was a monster.
When he looked at her, he saw pain in her eyes.
Was she using his care and affection for her...just to figure out his secrets? Why would she choose that moment to ask him that? Did she think that by questioning him while he was distracted she would be able to get the answers she wanted?
He couldn't...he couldn't do this. He got up off the bed and stormed straight for the doors.
"Never do that to me again," he said severely when he placed his hand upon the door handle to open the doors.
He then proceeded to exit, shutting the doors behind him with a loud bang.
As he stalked back to his room, he felt his anger increase with each step.
The woman was a torment to him. Always toying with him, playing games, and using him.
How could he ever allow someone to hurt him like this...
Why did he ever open up his heart to her?