I do not own Naruto. I do own the secret super forbidden ultimate technique that's unbeatable.

"My first impression of you is.. I hate all of you."

Naruto didn't know what wrong he had done in a past life to do deserve this karma, but whatever it was must've made Orochimaru seem like a girl scout. Immediately dispelling the disturbing image that entered his mind, Naruto rose from his desk and walked to a window to head to the roof of the Academy to introduce himself to his new teacher, Kakashi Hatake. He of course had to prank the man with an old eraser that hit his head upon him showing up three hours late. Three fucking hours of seclusion with Sasuke and Sakura! He could've went home, fucked Tsubaki for an hour, showered, read Champloo, and make a pot of ramen during that damn waste of time. At least the clones he sent to train that jutsu from yesterday had managed it, even if at a high chakra cost. It was the perfect counter for the Sharingan, which was the reason it was created in the first place.

Wall walking up the side of the building and reaching the top, he saw that Sasuke and Sakura were already there. They must've known shunshin then, but all things considered that wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. In fact Tsubaki could probably teach him since its a chunin technique, he'd just have to ask later. Walking up to the trio Kakashi turned to Naruto saying." Hmm..Since You're the last one to arrive why don't you start things off with a short intro.. You know, likes, dislikes, dreams and all that jazz."

Naruto's jaw nearly impacted the rooftop at the man's audacity. Last one to arrive!? Quickly shaking it off with a incredulous look, he declared." Well first off, I dislike traitors, hypocrites, judgemental people, and spoiled brats. I love women, ramen, training, sake, dango, pranks, manga, gardening, and Icha Icha. My dream is to become Hokage and protect everyone in the village, regardless of whether or not they like me. I also will rebuild and establish the Uzumaki clan, and I want lots and lots of kids. What about you Kakashi?"

His eyes widening at Naruto's introduction and especially Icha Icha, Kakashi replied saying." Interesting, I also love women and Icha Icha. I dislike people that abandon their loved ones. My dream is to star in an Icha Icha movie adaptation. Tell me Naruto, have you read Icha Icha The Freak Attack, it's a classic?"

Both Sasuke and Sakura got large sweatshops as they began a heated discussion about Icha Icha ignoring them as if they weren't there. Naruto had even pulled out his Icha Icha The Game Plan and his new Icha Icha Tactics, and Kakashi practically begged him to borrow the early release. Then the two of them both started laughing hysterically after Naruto joked about "early release" and Naruto traded Kakashi for The Freak Attack making the Jonin actually shed tears.

Then they started getting tick marks as Naruto retold how he had done exactly what happened on page 90 of the Game Plan to some girl, and when Kakashi and Naruto both began giggling like schoolgirls they could take it no more.

"WE'RE STANDING RIGHT HERE YOU FUCKING PERVERTS!" Sakura screeched causing everyone present to hold their ears in pain.

Quickly recovering Kakashi said." Hmm, did you say something?"

Naruto fell to the ground hard and rolled around laughing while holding his sides. He couldn't resist, it was just too fuckin rich!

As Sakura was about to yell more Sasuke quickly cut in saying." Sasuke Uchiha. I dislike a lot of things and I like Sakura. My ambition is to restore my clan and cleanse the Uchiha of Itachi."

Sakura then recomposed herself and stated." I'm Sakura Haruno. I like reading, swimming, and I love my Sasuke kun. I dislike Naruto baka and Itachi. My dream is to help Sasuke rebuild the Uchiha to be stronger than ever and eventually marry him."

Kakashi just nodded not expecting everyone to be so forthcoming including himself. He then said." Alright then, tomorrow morning meet me at training ground 7 at 9 o'clock sharp. And I'd suggest that you don't eat anything before coming, or you'll probably throw it all up."

With that Kakashi turned back to Naruto and continued their conversation, prompting Sasuke and Sakura to shunshin away with frowns.

~Later That Day~

After parting ways with Kakashi, Naruto decided to send a clone to "keep Tsubaki company" and another to pick up his apprentices. They surely would never forgive him if he didn't bring them along for what he was about to do. Naruto was rather confident with his progress, and the new jutsu he had just learned earlier that day from the scroll of seals only made things better. Quickly finding the three of them after a little searching and an interrupted make out session between Konohamaru and Moegi, the four of them set out to the Hokage tower with Naruto gloating about his headband the entire way there.

~30 Minutes Later~

"YOU'RE WHAT!?" Konohamaru exclaimed as Naruto did the unthinkable.

First Naruto had solved the Hokage's paperwork curse by suggestingthe shadow clone jutsu. Then he called that favor in, and now the Konohamaru Corps were shocked beyond belief. Quickly summoning an Anbu, Hiruzen sent them off with their task and rose from his desk while puffing his pipe. Passing the marijuana to Naruto who took a nice long drag, they began their trek to the medium sized training ground not so far away where the Anbu awaited.

~15 Minutes Later~

Standing in the middle of the training ground with the Konohamaru Corps on the outskirts along with many different shinobi, Naruto and Hiruzen faced each other with serious expressions that showed that they meant business. Even Kakashi was in the crowd, closely observing the boy who's upbringing he should have been a part of. He'd forever feel guilty about neglecting what should of been his responsibility, but he was truly joyous that Naruto had turned out so much like his mother, father, Jiraiya, and even himself all in one person. Hanging out with the blonde all day had even reminded him of of Obito, and he was truly grateful for Icha Icha Tactics since he would have had to wait at least another month for his favorite literature. Well only literature, but whatever. Watching closely with everyone else that was present, which were mostly Anbu, Kakashi heard the blonde loudly declare to the gathering." Alright, as you ALL probably know I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and one day I vow to become Hokage and protect everyone! I'm here to showcase my skill, not just to prove I'm a worthy future candidate because of my strength, but also because I myself would like to join the Anbu like my mother before me soon. By the way sorry for all the pranks guys, but I really did them for training! Well...mostly!"

Everyone seemed to be very surprised by this, all if the Anbu present perking up and also taking the blonde seriously because of his prank skill and the fact that the Hokage looked deathly serious. As Naruto turned back to the Hokage, he then asked him." Alright Jiji, I'm not going to use my sword or kyubi because that's only for killing in my eyes. You have any rules you wanna add?"

The Hokage then quickly bent close to Naruto where no one could see his worried visage whispering in his ear." No sexy jutsu Naruto, that technique is far too deadly, even more than the kyubi!"

Naruto nearly died from laughter which confused everyone present and even made the Hokage a bit embarrassed but thankful that no one knee if his previous "loss" to the blonde. Naruto could of assassinated the man if he had wanted to, or even stole something of value while he was unconscious but he didn't. Hiruzen had even decided to make that a S Rank forbidden jutsu because of its power and ease of use.

Calming down after a few moments Naruto got serious and dropped into his stance, crossing his arms like his mother and hiding his hands from view after jumping back away from the Hokage. He then yelled with a smirk." Ready to give that hat up Jiji!?"

The Hokage also smirked and replied while tossing his robes off." You'll have to pry it from my grasp first Naruto, now come!"

Naruto didn't seem to move at all as several things happened all at once. He had taken his mother's tarantula style further with his half seals during his training, using the unassuming stance of his crossed arms to hide his hand movement. Suddenly Naruto bent forward, firing off a large amount of hair Senbon at the Hokage just like certain species of tarantula fired their hairs as a weapon. Sarutobi easily dodged the projectiles, closely observing as Naruto just stood in the same spot for a few moments. He was then surprised as 7 black birds appeared around the blonde, the same time that four chakra chains exploded from his back waving about in an intimidating fashion. Then everyone present was surprised by the blonde's prowess, even the Hokage. Chains suddenly exploded from underneath Hiruzen, forcing him to dodge many flexible weapons all at once until his leg was wrapped. At the same time Naruto had sent the small flock of birds in the air above, and they ALL transformed into him firing a storm of needles at his exposed position. Managing a quick replacement, the Hokage had no time to rest as Naruto slung himself from his original position without even turning his head to see where the Hokage had went, having his improved Flow active. The straight punch that Naruto threw was powerful enough that even the Hokage wouldn't block it, but instead leapt to the side as a staff appeared in his hands from a seal.

Everyone knew what this had meant, the Hokage actually had to take this young genin seriously. This was fucking insane! Some of the Anbu doubted that even they could defeat the boy in a straight match! Kakashi just looked outright amazed and felt nostalgia at seeing Kushinas style again after so long.

Sending his chains at the Hokage from several angles while using one or two chains to sling himself back and forth around the Hokage, Naruto forced the man to retreat underground to avoid the formidable assault. He was very difficult to target, since his position kept changing WHILE he attacked with the flexible weapons that could change course suddenly. The tarantula style was truly deadly!

After a couple seconds, Hiruzen resurfaced but now was accompanied by two clones, each of them already going through handseals and taking Naruto way more seriously. Naruto had the nine clones from earlier rapidly approaching Hiruzen, but many were suddenly dispelled when spikes from the earth shot from below and skewered them through their arms, only leaving three which managed to transform into crows. The Hokage wasn't finished however, as the spikes that were still saturated with his chakra morphed into dragons made of earth, twisting around each before flying toward Naruto. The blonde didn't look phased however, and still standing with crossed arms he focused on getting the timing just right. As the dragons got close, he surprised everyone when instead of dodging he jumped and used his chains to spring high into the air, doing a long series of front flips before slamming all for chains down at the Hokage with a ridiculous amount of force. The earth literally trembled from the impact of the attack, and dust was kicked up obscuring where Naruto had landed.

Suddenly a black bird shivering the dust, just as the Hokage and his clones rose from the ground a distance away found through more seals. Naruto regrouped with his three crow clones from just as a single Senbon was thrown at them, slightly confusing the boy. Then the Senbon multiplied so he couldn't even see the Hokage's form through the flying steel needles, but thinking quickly he transformed already finished with three desperate handseals and blew a dusty gust that nullified the technique. Quickly countering, Naruto's crows transformed and used the half snake seal to fire hair Senbon again, which Hiruzen countered precisely with the Senbon multiplication technique from seconds earlier.

Then Naruto used a technique he made that Nui had inspired, and two chains shot from his lower back and anchored in the ground, pulling him down blindingly fast as he used a half seal to phase into the ground. Hiruzen seemed impressed by the maneuver, and even more so when Naruto shot up just as his clones landed, a few steps ahead of their crouched position. Having done the handseals while underground, Naruto fired multiple fireballs at the Hokage just as his crouched clones rushed past him, their coordination being inspired by Pein as they weaved in between the fireballs that were in front, to the side, and even behind them. The Hokage stood his ground smirking and created a mud with ease, slipping underground as the fireballs impacted and several chains lashed out around the earthen barrier.

Naruto was actually caught off guard as the Hokage popped up just in front of him, as he still couldn't use the flow the sense anything underground yet which was what he wanted to change. A fierce taijutsu battle then commenced, and Naruto was unable to counter the many sporadic hammer fists and jumping kicks of the monkey style. Barely evading two jabs from the Hokage before being caught with a crescent moon kick that sent him to the ground in a roll, Naruto rose up using his low position for added power for his clawed strikes. His Fox taijutsu had gotten better and better as he trained it, and he seamlessly combined it with the hebi taijutsu for devastating effect.

Leaning back to avoid the upward claw swipe and sidestepping the downward one that followed, Hiruzen was again surprised when Naruto used the crescent moon kick of the monkey style, before jumping sideways into a flipping downward curved kick that was hebi taijutsu. Then the blonde lashed out with finger jabs continuing using the hebi before attempting a 1,2 combination that was close to his son's level of skill. Despite all if that, the Hokage deflected every blow and pushed the future Kage back with a front kick and began to follow up when two chains suddenly shot from Naruto's palms in a very familiar way. He used them like Orochimaru's hidden shadow snake hands and many smaller chains spread out from the thick large ones almost managing to capture him. The Hokage just slid into the ground as they passed over him, surfacing immediately in between the two large chains. He was again surprised when Naruto kicked his leg forward well before he was in range. And for the first time in a long while the Hokage was actually injured. He barely managed to evade the spread of shuriken that suddenly shot from the blonde's feet, and one if the shuriken had knocked him on his arm drawing a small amount of blood.

Everyone present gasped and many jaws hit the ground, somehow bypassing the masked faces of the Anbu present. The battle was quickly concluded however when Hiruzen punched Naruto in his chest, knocking easily because of him only standing on one leg.

"No Waaay!" Konohamaru exclaimed witnessing his sensei actually put up a good fight against his grandfather. It was the coolest thing he had ever seen in his whole life, and suddenly he began to doubt if he could become Hokage like his sensei surely would.

Rising from the ground with a groan, Naruto saw the Hokage looking down at him with true pride before the old man extended his hand out and helped him to his feet. Then the Hokage turned to everyone present and loudly declared." This young genins performance had thoroughly impressed me today, and I for one endorse the boy as a future candidate for the title of fire shadow. Not just because if his prowess in battle, but more so because of his blazing will of fire and his desire to protect this village. Now what say all of you!?"

The Anbu present didn't even hesitate and immediately they ALL nodded their heads, even Neko who was watching the blonde as his eyes began to water.

"Thank you all dattebayo, I can't wait to be accepted into the Anbu and I promise I won't fail any of you! That's my word and I don't break it! That's my nindo, my ninja way!"

Many if the Anbu seemed like they were about to return to their duties when suddenly they heard a loud shout." WAIT!"

Everyone immediately turned their attention to the young leader of the infamous Konohamaru Corps, and the boy rushed to where Naruto and his grandfather stood. Konohamarus parents closed their eyes behind their Anbu masks and shook their heads at their son's boldness, but they watched nonetheless as he spoke." That was awesome Naruto sensei, but I'LL be the one to become Hokage. Get ready granddad, here I come!"

Going through handseals, Konohamaru fired multiple fireballs at his grandfather who weaved in and out of them as Naruto jumped away surprised by his student. As the last fireball passed the Hokage by, EVERYONE present face faulted at was happened next. Konohamaru did something that even Naruto thought was supremely badass, unsealing his staff from the seal Naruto places on his hand and tossing it high into the air. At the same time, he did a single handseals and used the regular clone jutsu to create ten gorgeous busty beauties completely in the nude, Sending them running toward the stunned Hokage. Hiruzen didn't even move as Konohamaru caught his staff and spun around throwing it spinning toward him, and as he regained his senses as the women faded away he narrowly dodged the staff. But Konohamaru used the chakra strings to make his staff follow the old man, and he actually managed to land a strong blow on his grandfather's shoulder, although his battle armor took the damage. His eyes widening at his success, Konohamaru suddenly began jumping around and screaming."HELL YEAH I DID IT I DID IT! YA SEE NARUTO SENSEI THAT HAT'S ALL MINE!"

His celebration was quickly cut short when an enraged Moegi busted his head with her fist, causing the female Anbu present to nod their heads and everyone else to sweatdrop. Shed probably be Hokage with that strength! As Moegi drug her unconscious boyfriend away, the Hokage looked slightly embarrassed but laughed nonetheless while dismissing the Anbu who shunshined away highly amused. Konohamarus father was very proud, and his mother...Well she'd have to "talk" with him later.

Naruto spent the rest of that day hanging out with his Jiji who was finally freed from his eternal curse that was paperwork, along with Kakashi who had decided to tag along. He met captain Yamato, flirted with Neko, and even learned that Kakashi was an Anbu captain himself at one time which drastically raised his respect of the man. It was a good day full of laughter jokes, and Ichiraku ramen.