The Truth Of The Heart

Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it.

WARNING:Some chapters maycontainexplicit language – you have been cautioned!

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Chapter 20: Altered Perceptions

"Lilyyyyy," Emma whined for the fifth time. "Tell me what happened!"

"Or we'll be forced to give you a truth potion…and who knows what ugly secrets you could tell us," Sapphire quipped, lying back.

Lily carefully unclipped her earrings and placed them on her dressing table. She swapped her cardigan and sleeveless top for a baggy sweatshirt, and took off her shoes slowly, knowing full well that she was annoying the other two.

Emma's glance fell on Serena, preening in front of the large mirror at the other side of the room. "I've got a top like that," she muttered to Sapphire. "Guess I'll be burning it now."

Serena's top was a cream, off-the-shoulder sweater, with a huge neck. Although Lily could visualise Emma it in quite easily, it did not go with Serena's figure, and clashed with her hair – a fact Serena was obviously not aware of. Unfortunately, Serena had heard Emma's remark. She turned around and widened her mascara-ed eyes at her in mock-innocence.

"Oh honey, you couldn't pull this off!" she said, in tones that almost dripped with fake sympathy. Sapphire pulled a face and snorted.

"Neither can you," she said in an undertone. Emma burst out laughing and Serena eyed them both in disdain.

"Whatever," she said. "I'll leave you kids to it." She walked out of the room, leaving it silent, save for the steady strokes of Lily brushing her hair.

Sapphire could stand it no longer. "Lily Evans, if you do not tell us RIGHT NOW what happened on your date with Tom, I will come over and cause you Grievous Bodily Harm."

"It wasn't a date, it was a walk," Lily replied calmly. She laid her brush down. "And causing me GBH won't make me tell you anything."

"We are not playing a game of semantics here!" Sapphire cried. "Just tell us, already!"

Lily sighed and swivelled around. "It was … nice."

This time it was Emma who snorted. "Lily I've been your best friend for seven years. Don't think I can't tell when you're lying."

"Okay, okay!" Lily threw up her hands in defeat. "It wasn't great. Tom is sweet, though."

"But …" prompted Sapphire.

"But…I don't know. He tried to compliment me quite a few times. I guess…it doesn't roll off as easily as it does for some, so it was a bit awkward. And some of the things he said – well, I can't relate to them very well."

"Like?"

"Like…when he was talking about Quidditch as a future career. I mean yeah, I like the game, but all that stuff he was reeling off about teams, like profits…I had a hard time just following the jargon – what I am I meant to say about any of that?"

"Where did you go?" Emma asked.

"Just walked around the lake…then he took me to this hill hidden behind some trees and we watched the sun set. It would have been romantic, I suppose, if he hadn't been so…self-conscious."

"So are you going to go out again?" There was a curious note in Sapphire's voice.

"Yeah, probably." Lily shrugged. "He's really nice…and we were talking most of the time." She grinned suddenly. "He does such good impressions of the teachers!"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, tell Saffy what happened when you came up to the common room!" Emma was bouncing up and down on her bed.

"Didn't Tom walk you up?" Sapphire asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Excuse me? He was talking about Quidditch inter-relations by that time. I escaped to the toilets!"

"Tell her, tell her, tell her! Tell her what happened when you got upstairs!"

Sapphire looked expectantly at Lily, who rolled her eyes. "I talked to James. Big freakin' deal."

"Lily, you're holding out on her!"

"What am I supposed to say? He asked me how my date was, I said okay, and he smiled. So what?"

"So what! Lily Evans, are you blind? Did you not see how forced his smile was?"

"No, I didn't. You're just seeing things."

"I am not! I -" Emma broke off as they heard a male voice float up the stairs.

"Emma!"

"That's Remus," Sapphire said, recognizing the distinct notes of his voice.

"Be right back, I suppose." Emma swung the door open, then turned to glare at Lily. "Tell her all, and I mean all the details." She narrowed her eyes, and left the room. Sapphire turned to Lily.

"Okay, give me the full story. Don't leave anything out."

Lily came over to her bed, and flopped down. "I seriously don't know what she's talking about. There isn't much to tell. Em met me just outside the portrait hole, and then we went in. James came over to ask me about Head business, and then he just went, 'Did you just go out on a date?' I said yeah, with Tom, so he said, 'Did you have a good time?' and I said it was okay, and he smiled and said, 'Great, see you.' Emma just thinks it was forced."

"Well, what do you think it was?" Sapphire asked impatiently.

"I don't know! Probably just Emma seeing things. If she were here, she'd probably be inferring enough to write a book from the way he was standing or whatever. He was -"

The door opened, and Emma came in, looking ashen. She shut the door, and came to sit down, putting her head in her hands.

"Uh, Em? What's going on?" Lily questioned. An idea flashed into her head. An idea of what this was about. A very bad idea.

Emma lifted her head and looked at Lily. "You knew Remus was a werewolf." It was not a question, but a statement. Beside her, Lily felt Sapphire tense.

"Yeah," she replied, not quite sure where the conversation was going.

"He just told me," Emma said, stating the obvious. "He said he had something personal to tell me, and he hoped I would accept it, and he told me." Her tone was expressionless.

"And … what did you say?" Lily asked.

"I left." Emma's face was hidden in her hands again. "I can't believe this. He's a monster."

"No he's not," Lily said, sliding over to sit next to her. "He's still the same guy you know and like. He's just got a … disease."

"A disease that turns him into a raging monster once a month?"

"It's a problem, yeah, but surely you can see that he's still the same person?"

"Lily's right," Sapphire's soft voice said. She had moved to the other side of Emma. "He's the same person. You just know something more about him."

"But h-he's a…creature of the night. Evil."

'No he's not!" Lily said desperately. She had a horrible feeling about what was going to happen. "He's a good guy, Em! You can't blame him for something that happened when he was little! And don't you understand, Emma? Why he said that his ambition in life was to get a job? All that prejudice against werewolves out there? Do you really think he needs more from you?"

"You can't be intending to throw him away over this," Sapphire added, equally urgently. "What you have is special; don't give it up!"

"I don't know," said Emma. She got up and went to her own bed, where she climbed in. "I need time to think."

"But -" Lily began, but Sapphire shushed her.

"Let her be," she said quietly. "She'll soon see sense."

The two of them went outside into the corridor, where they could talk without disturbing their friend.

"Did you know about him?" Lily asked quietly.

Sapphire pushed her hair back worriedly. "No,' she said. 'I had my suspicions, but I never got to any definite conclusions. And I never dreamt Em would take it this badly."

"Neither did I," Lily said in an agitated whisper. "I was the one who encouraged Remus to tell her in the first place!"

Sapphire moved forward and pulled Lily into a comforting hug. "You did the right thing. She would have had to have known sooner or later, so it's better that they get this over with now."

"What if they don't get it over with?" Lily looked panicky.

"Things will sort themselves out," Sapphire said, much more decisively than she felt. "You'll see."

Lily gave a glance towards the light reflecting up from the common room. "Think I should go and see how he's doing?"

Sapphire shrugged. "If you want to." She put her hand on the doorknob. "I'll be right here." She went in, and Lily crossed the corridor and descended reluctantly into the common room.

Remus was sitting in a chair on his own, staring into the fire. She walked over to stand beside him, unsure of how he would react to her.

"Hi," she said uncertainly.

"Hey," was the short reply.

After a few moments of standing there, waiting for a response which wasn't going to come, she launched into speech; not knowing exactly what she was saying.

"Remus, I'm so sorry, I honestly never thought Emma would take it as badly as she did. Seriously, I'm sure she'll get over it – and I feel so bad for telling you to tell her – I apologise for saying th -"

"Lily," Remus interrupted. He at last looked away from the fire. Lily had always seen, had always appreciated his gentle grey eyes, but never had she known how stormy they could be, until that moment when he finally turned them upon her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to feel bad about and nothing to apologise for."

"What?" Lily asked, wrong footed.

"Everything you said when we talked was true. There was nothing wrong with any of it. So you have nothing to be sorry for."

"But I -"

Remus spoke over her. "You pointed out that I would have to tell her about it sooner or later. You were right. Eventually, this would have happened. And you said that if she really lov-liked me, then it wouldn't matter to her. It did. I accept that. I can't expect pity or understanding from most of the wizarding world, so obviously I can't expect it from her." He rubbed his eyes. "Dumbledore said I would have to make sacrifices because of my problem when I came here. I guess she was one of them."

Lily was by now kneeling down beside him. "Remus, if I could change things, I would," she said quietly.

"But you can't," Remus said lightly. "So there's no point in d-dwelling on it." His voice caught in his throat, and he looked back at the fire.

"Maybe -" Lily started, but just then Sirius, James and Peter climbed through the portrait hole. As one, their expressions became puzzled at the sight of their friend. Lily changed, mid-sentence. "I'll leave you with Sirius and James and Peter. They'll probably be able to cheer you up more than I can. 'Night Remus."

She turned to go, receiving a quiet goodnight in reply as she did so, and headed back up the stairs, hoping that his friends would be able to help. The dorm, when she reached it, was silent and dark, except for Sapphire curled up on her bed, reading under a solitary torch. She looked up as Lily walked in.

"Is she asleep?" Lily asked, nodding her head at Emma's bed. Sapphire nodded.

"I checked a few minutes ago."

"Remus is seriously upset," Lily said in a low voice, seating herself opposite her friend. "I mean it, Saffy, he's practically heartbroken, but he's refusing to show it." She glanced towards the lump under the covers again. "He said that this is just a sacrifice he's going to have to make – he's being really brave about it." Another glance. She paused and looked at her hands. "I honestly can't believe the way she reacted. I keep thinking this is just a bad dream, and I'll wake up, and everything will be normal."

Sapphire put a soothing hand over her friend's. "Lil, you heard the way she was talking before. She's not like you and me – she's from a wizarding family." She saw Lily's face and stopped to rephrase. "I mean, yeah, I'm half, but since Mum only told me she was a witch when I got my letter, it's not like she taught me what to think on stuff like this. Em, on the other hand, has been told since she was old enough to understand that werewolves are bad and evil, and that she shouldn't have anything to do with 'their kind'. It's hard to overcome beliefs instilled in you at a young age. She'll work things out eventually – whether that means that she leaves Remus behind forever, I don't know."

Lily sighed. "I wish this hadn't happened."

"So do I," Sapphire said. "I'm terrible at comforting people – I always say the wrong thing. But until she comes to terms with her own heart – with herself, we're just going to have to heave her alone, and not pester. It's her decision."

Lily looked at Sapphire, raising an eyebrow. "You have such good advice. Since when did you get so wise and all-knowing?"

"You only just noticed? I'm ashamed of you!"

Lily threw a pillow at her friend and stuck her tongue out. "I'm going to bed, All-Knowing-One. Or did you already know that?"

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Sweet dreams," she said. Lily changed, and climbed into bed, hoping very much that the day would bring with it new counsel.

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When Lily finally woke up the next morning, three of the four other beds were still occupied. A cursory glance at Emma's bed showed that she was still asleep, and Lily felt a pang, remembering the events of last night. She pulled herself up, and walked into the bathroom, a gleamingly white, airy room, fitted with large mirrors, and several sinks. Two small rooms led off from the main in opposite corners, one housing a shower, and the other a toilet. The lightness of the room woke Lily up slightly more, and she splashed water on her face as she brushed her teeth. She had originally intended to take a shower, but seeing that the door to the shower was closed, she shrugged it off. I'll have to fit in time somewhere after the Head meeting tonight, she thought. She walked back to her room, not looking forward to the prospect of Transfiguration, and once she had dressed, began sorting out her books. A noise at the door made her turn round to see a brown-haired girl standing there.

"Can I help yo-oh my God!" She sat down hard on her bed, staring at the familiar-yet-unfamiliar girl smiling nervously at her from the doorway. "Saffy?" she asked weakly.

The girl grinned wider.

"Do I look different?"

"What - what have you done?" Lily questioned, staring at Sapphire's hair. Although just last night she had been her usual pale brown colour, now, her hair was a strikingly deeper brown. It was not as dark as Emma's mahogany hair, but was a deep chestnut, with hints of auburn. The colour accentuated her cerulean eyes even more, making them sparkle with life.

"It's not what I have done, it's what I haven't done. The colour my hair used to be wasn't natural. This is."

"Wha-how?"

Sapphire smiled even more. "Dye. Based on the Muggle kind, but it's magical, so it lasts longer, and when it goes, it all goes in one go so you know you need to reapply." She held up a box, and Lily could just about make out the name in cursive writing: 'Witch 'N' Go; Nice 'N' Easy', with a toothy brown-haired witch smiling beneath, flicking her hair around; Because we're born for beauty.

"Why on earth would you use that?" Lily still felt too weak to stand up; she was still eyeing Sapphire's gleaming locks in shock.

Sapphire looked distant. "If you remember, this was the colour I was when I first came to Hogwarts. Callie convinced me that this," she shook the box, "would make me look nice, and after that … I dunno, it just became like a shield. It was like…even if Callie and I had a rough patch, the fact that I was still using this could hold us together, sort of." She shook her head. "Stupid, I know. Plus, it got me what I always wanted: inconspicuousness." She grinned unrepentantly. "It all washed out this morning, though, so I figured, I'm free of Callie, I can be free of this too." She put her hand to her hair, and her grin vanished. All at once, she looked nervous and worried. "Is it okay? I mean, I could always go and us -" She got no farther, because Lily had flung herself at her.

"Saffy, you look prettier than ever."

Sapphire looked happier. "That's that then." Once Lily had released her, she dropped the box into the bin, where it hit the bottom with a loud clang. In the bed next to theirs, a few incoherent mumbles were heard, and then a loud gasp. Both girls looked around to see Emma, sitting up in bed and looking at Sapphire as though she was a ghost.

"You explain," said Sapphire, bending to retrieve some socks for the day.

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By the time the whole situation had been explained to Emma, and the three of them were dressed and ready, Serena and Callie still had not woken up. Sapphire, Emma and Lily left them as they were. As Lily so neatly put it: "Those hags need their beauty sleep. I don't intend to be put off my food by their faces for the rest of the day."

Just as they were about to go through the portrait hole, it swung open before them, and Sirius clambered in, clearly having just breakfasted. Emma turned pale, thinking Remus was behind, but Sirius was on his own. His mouth opened, but then his eyes fell on Sapphire, and he closed it again. For seconds, he stared at her, his expression unreadable. Then, his customary smirk that he saved especially for Sapphire crept slowly onto his face once again.

"So you've finally decided to go with the colour of your home? Good for you, Sapphire-of-the-Mud."

For a moment, Sapphire looked as though she wanted to cry. Then, her face hardened. She moved forward, and…

SMACK!

She had slapped him hard across his cheek. As he winced and put a hand to his face, she took a step back, surveying her handiwork.

"That was especially for you," she told him sweetly. "And don't worry, there's plenty more where it came from." She climbed out of the common room.

"Yeah?" Sirius yelled after her. "Well if you think that changes my opinion, you're wrong!"

Emma and Lily followed Sapphire. Just before the portrait swung closed behind them, Lily caught Sirius' voice, floating back to her.

"…second time I've been slapped by one of those three…"

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A/N: Ok, so I hope you enjoyed that…now for the bad news…there won't be an update of this for a few weeks, because I'm leaving all of civilisation to go globetrotting. Translation: I'm going on holiday, to a place where there is unlikely to be internet access – or rather, there is unlikely to be internet that I have access to L. Anyway, I'm taking fanfic stuff with me, and I'll be working on the all-important chapter 35 in whatever spare time I get to myself, so it's not coming to a complete standstill, if that's any consolation. So. Hope you guys all have a happy few weeks of summer holiday, and I shall see you (or rather, post to you) when I get back!

Take care, all!

Now, did you enjoy this chapter enough to leave me a little review? (stares hopefully).