The Truth Of The Heart
Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)
A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it.
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Chapter 21: Good Manners
"Hey," Remus said, seating himself next to James. Sirius and Peter both grinned at him, but Emma, sitting a few places down on the other side of the table, froze and looked at him, eyes widening, and got up to walk off, leaving her lunch half-finished and Sapphire on her own. She was so intent on walking out that she walked straight past Lily, who had just reached the entrance to the Great Hall and had witnessed the above scene. The flurry of movement alerted Remus, who looked up in time to watch her leave, an unreadable expression on his face.
Lily was very much tempted to slump against the door and groan. It had been like this all day; Emma getting up and going off whenever Remus came within a ten-metre radius. The tension between them was like walking on thin ice – very thin ice – and it was not fun. Lily would probably have shaken her friend silly by now, except for the fact that Sapphire had made her promise not to say anything about it to her. As it was, she simply shifted her bag onto her shoulder more securely and headed for her friends.
"Hey Saffy, hey you four." She picked up a napkin and began piling sandwiches into it.
"What, we don't get greeted by name?" Sirius exclaimed, through a mouthful of food.
"No time for names. And don't speak with your mouth full."
Sirius swallowed hastily. "But you called Sapphire-In-The-Mud her name!" Sapphire shot him a withering look, which he ignored.
"Whatever. No time." Lily folded another napkin over her lunch and surveyed the other food on display on the table.
Sirius eyed the stack of sandwiches teetering in her hand in disbelief. "So when do you find the time to eat all that?"
"Somewhere between writing a Charms essay, writing a letter to Gladrags, and dealing with those stupid lists of figures for the stupid ball decorations which I am doing all wrong, before tonight's meeting."
"I can help you out with them, if you want," James offered, taking a bite of his food.
"Thanks." She slipped a couple of apples into her bag with one hand and looked back at James. "Seven-thirty, as usual?"
"Yeah."
"Right. See you later." She disappeared.
"Was it just me, or was that rather exclusively aimed at Jamie-boy?"
"Padfoot," Remus said, keeping a straight face. "Terribly sorry to remind you, but it's a bad idea to say things like that unless you want a hit upside the head."
"What do you mean? Jamie-boy hasn't done anythi – OUCH!"
Sapphire snorted, and Sirius rubbing his head, glared at her. Ignoring this, Sapphire reached across the table for the nearest jug of pumpkin juice.
"Let me help you with that," a voice said. The jug was lifted just as her fingers were about to grasp it, and thrust into her face. Straightening up, she found a tall boy, who she vaguely recognized as a Ravenclaw seventh-year, staring down at her with a grin on his face that was obviously intended to be charming.
"Thanks," she said, eyeing him suspiciously, "uh…"
"Leon Leon Wilkes. And it was no prob -"
"But," Sapphire continued coolly, "last time I checked, my arms were still in full working order, so you don't need to bother."
"I -"
"Really don't need to bother. Later," she added pointedly, and she sat down firmly, looking at her food until she heard him leave.
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "God, Heathleigh, no need to break his heart."
"Yeah right," Sapphire retorted. "You wait 'til someone tries to hit on you."
"Well actually, if it's a girl, and if it's a pretty girl, I don't really mind."
"Ugh," Sapphire exclaimed. "Can you not hear how shallow you sound? You put me right off my lunch." She got up and left.
Sirius shrugged. "Prickly."
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By the time Lily found her friends that evening to borrow a few quills, fifteen minutes before the Head meeting, Sapphire was still ranting – mostly to Emma. Lily was quite amazed at the language that could come out of her friend's mouth when she was annoyed.
"…they've been at it all bloody day!" she was saying furiously. "Opening doors, offering to walk me to class – am I an invalid or something? All they have been doing is hitting on me!" She saw Lily. "Can you believe it, Lils? It's utterly pathetic! It's like they think I'm some kind of bimbo like Serena who's actually going to be flattered by the way they act!"
"Uh, Saffy…" Lily said. Emma shook her head.
"I've been trying that for the past half an hour," she said in an undertone. "I don't think she can hear us."
Sapphire was still going on.
"…I swear, the only lot who haven't turned themselves into gibbering idiots are the Marauders and Tom, and that's because Black hates me almost as much as I hate him, Remus likes Emma, Peter's just – not into that kind of stuff, and James and Tom are both interested in you!"
"James and I are just friends, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Lily said, exasperated.
Sapphire took no heed and rambled on at full steam. "…isn't there some sort of law against this? Or rule? Because there bloody well should be! Something to stop idiot boys from chasing after innocent girls for no reason whatsoever. D'you know, some numbskull even brandished mistletoe at me? He needs a calendar – I'm just going to have to take action and punch any boy that comes near me, since the language obviously hasn't given them the idea…"
"Okay, forget it, I have to go," Lily said, looking hurriedly at her watch. "I'll just borrow a quill off James or something. See you guys later, right?"
Emma mouthed "Bye" at her, and Sapphire granted her a disgruntled wave before continuing to gesture violently about what she would have liked to do to several boys if she had had the chance.
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Five minutes later, she climbed into the Heads' Room, thoroughly out of breath.
"You're late," James teased, looking up from the parchment on his table.
"Sorry," Lily gasped, dropping her bag (they had decided to move their two separate tables together a while ago, since it made working together much easier). "I have a friend who can't shut up about the evils of the male population."
"Oh yeah," James said, focusing on his parchment once more as Lily pulled out her work. "I saw Sapphire looking ready to kill when Andy McGregor offered to walk her to the Hall."
"Mmmhmm," Lily agreed absently, scanning the list of figures before her. "Hey, could I borrow a quill?"
"Yeah." James crossed over to his bag, which Lily now realized was dumped on the sofa, and ferreted through it.
"What's that?" Lily suddenly asked, getting up and walking over to the fireplace. A photo frame stood above on the mantelpiece. Lily lifted it up to see a photo of the four Marauders inside, all grinning at the camera. As she watched, Sirius and James started to play-fight, while Remus looked at them, half-smiling, half-scandalised, and Peter laughed outright. She smiled. "Sweet." Turning around, she looked at James. "How's Remus?" she asked hesitantly.
James straightened up, a quill in his hand. "Bitter," he answered. He threw it over to her, and she snatched it out of mid-air. "He can understand the whole not-talking-to-him thing, but he's not happy about the acting-like-he-has-a-contagious-disease part." He wandered over and took the photo out of her hands, twirling it absently in his own. "Can't you talk to her about that?"
"I could." Lily sighed. "In fact, I would. But Saffy made me promise that I would 'leave her to work it out by herself'.''
"Ah." There was a short silence.
"I hate this!" Lily burst out. "It's like the way Emma used to be after Prefect Meetings with Remus before they got together, except this is ten times worse! She won't tell me anything, and she hides all her feelings!"
James shrugged. "Not much we can do about it, is there? Remus is exactly the same. Short of locking them both into a room – which I don't intend to do because I value my life – we're just going to have to sit tight." He walked back and sat down in Lily's seat.
"Hey!" Lily protested.
James raised his eyebrows. "Do you want help with the figures for decorations?"
Lily looked sheepish. "Oh. Okay then." She sat down in his seat, noting that it was still pleasantly warm from when he had been sitting there, and glanced at the parchment before her before brushing it aside. "Menu options?"
"Mmm," James agreed, examining the lists of numbers in front of him. After a few minutes, he looked up and wrinkled his nose at her. "Tell you what, Lily, why don't I do this, and you can deal with the menus. This needs to be…"
"Redone?" Lily guessed.
"Well – no – not complete – yeah, it does," James admitted. "I thought you would have gone to primary school – it's not that difficult to add and subtract, is it?"
Lily made a face and stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm just not someone who has a friendship with the world of numbers. We had a really horrible maths teacher – my sister was the one who helped me there. I was better at writing and stuff…anything that didn't involve the words 'profit' and 'loss'."
James laughed. "It's not that hard. I was talked into doing this for money." He deepened his voice, Lily guessed to sound like his father's. "James, my boy, there is no such thing as being bored. Tell you what, if I teach you how to do the household accounts, you might even get some money off your mother for it." James grinned. "Dad knew money was always a big incentive for me to do things."
Lily laughed. "So how much are they paying you to be a responsible Head Boy?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" James smirked.
"Oh but I would."
"Okay then." James leaned towards her conspiratorially. "They are paying me," he whispered dramatically, "a truck-load of Chocolate Frogs every day!"
Lily could not help but laugh again. "You and your wild imagination. So where do you keep this truckload of Chocolate Frogs?"
"In the Library, hidden in books." James looked solemn. "They offered me a truckload of troll bogies as well, but I said no thank you to those."
Lily burst into laughter all over again. "Insane boy," she scolded, though her lips were twitching upwards. "Get on with those numbers before I have to finish them."
"Point taken," James said hurriedly, picking up his quill.
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Within the next few days, life was looking up for Lily. She had gone on another date with Tom – this time, a "study" date – and had come back flushed with success. Tom had been much more conversable than she expected, and they had shared several… intimate moments, hidden away in the back corner of the library. That, plus a lighter workload than usual, meant that for one night, Lily was able to relax and compose a list of various information yet to be decided for the ball. Fetching her bits and pieces from the Heads' rooms, she made her way up to the common room. As she entered it, she saw that Sapphire was working at a table beside the fire, having snagged it at the last moment, and headed over to her.
"Hey," she said cheerfully, dumping her bag and pulling up a chair.
"Hey," Sapphire replied. She placed her quill back in her bottle and looked up. "You know, this may be only time you ever hear me say this, but I love Flitwick and McGonagall for not giving us essays tonight."
"Yeah, me too," Lily agreed, taking out all her bits of parchment. "It really saved my life – and my sanity."
Sapphire laughed, then looked down at her work. "Ugh, three more constellations and I've finished the star chart for Astronomy. Then it's just those Potions questions."
Lily peered over her friend's shoulder, her rusty fifth-year Astronomy flooding back. She twisted her head, then pointed to one of the stars. "Hey, isn't that Sirius Minor?" She twisted her head in the other direction, and then traced the path of a constellation. "And Sirius Major?"
Sapphire turned the parchment round. "Lily, you genius!" she exclaimed delightedly. She dipped her quill into ink and scribbled the names in. "There," she said cheerfully. "Two down. Although technically they're Canis Minor and Major." She studied her work. "Pity I can't relabel those Human Minor and Git Major."
Lily suddenly remembered something she had meant to mention to her friend. "Saffy," she began slowly, "have you heard -"
"Hello children!" An arm was flung around Lily's shoulders, and looking up, she saw Sirius' blue eyes twinkling down at her. "Ahoy maties!" he sang out. "Everything shipshape here?"
Lily rolled her eyes, and removed his arm from her shoulders.
"It was, until you turned up," Sapphire said.
Sirius put a hand to his heart dramatically. "I'm injured!" he said, faking a sorrowful tone. Then he dropped his pose. "But at least I know when I'm not wanted."
Sapphire bent her head back over her work so that her hair fell over her face, but the glint of her eye could still be seen. "So why are you still here?"
Sirius huffed and walked away; Lily watched him go. She then turned to Sapphire.
"Saffy, have you heard -"
"I hate that boy!" Sapphire burst out. "He's so -"
"SAPPHIRE!" Lily yelled, startling both herself and her friend, who abruptly shut up. She cleared her throat. "Have you, uh…heard the rumours?"
"What rumours?" Sapphire said, half her attention back on her work.
"The rumours about you and – and Sirius…fancying each other."
Sapphire's head snapped up. "What?" she hissed.
"Uhm…I don't think it's got round the whole school." Lily quailed under Sapphire's furious glare. "It's just that…since you've been yelling at every boy who's approached…I think someone's got an idea and run away with it."
"Oh my -" Sapphire said. She looked over in disgust at Sirius, who was talking to his friends. "This is insufferable."
Lily looked at her friend in concern, but then proceeded to get on with her work in the hope that Sapphire would simmer down.
Ten minutes later, Sapphire flung down her quill violently. "This is stupid," she said angrily. "I'm going up. I can't concentrate."
Thinking that it would be best for her to go and cool off, Lily let her go, and remained alone at her table, chewing her quill and trying to think of desserts that everyone in the school would like.
Fifteen minutes later, an arm snaked round Lily's neck, and two hands clasped over her eyes.
"Guess who?" a voice whispered. Lily smiled, despite herself.
"No idea," she said.
"Would this help?" She felt a soft touch on her collarbone, and it took her a few moments to realise what it was. A kiss.
"Tom?"
The hands removed themselves from her eyes, and she twisted around to see Tom's face smiling sheepishly. She smiled back up at him.
"That was unexpected," she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Yeah, well." Tom looked at his feet. "You looked so lovely, I couldn't walk past without saying hi."
Lily laughed and turned back around to her work. Before long, she felt a pair of arms move around her waist, and the weight of Tom's head on her shoulder.
"What're you doing?" he asked sleepily.
"Head business. Coming up with menus for the ball," she replied. She looked curiously at Tom's tousled head. "What's with all the r-romance?" she asked, momentarily forgetting herself as his warm breath tickled her skin.
Tom pressed another kiss on her, this time on her cheek. "I just feel -" He broke off as a shadow moved across the table. A loud noise sounded, and Lily looked up to see a dark-haired boy standing in front of the fire. Angling her head, she could see that the familiar profile could only be James, ripping up a piece of parchment (albeit rather more loudly and violently than necessary) and throwing the pieces one by one into the fire. He turned round to see them looking at him.
"Oh, sorry," he said. Perhaps Lily did not notice, occupied as she was by Tom's arms tensing around her, but James was smiling in a way that was meant to be apologetic.
Meant to be.
He walked back to his friends, and Lily began to work again, Tom snuggling his face into the hollow of her neck and breathing softly against her. She could feel his heart beating out of rhythm against her own.
"So what were you saying?" she questioned softly, as she erased a word with her wand.
"I dunno," Tom said. His arms wound further around her, and Lily breathed in sharply as his cool hands brushed against the bare skin of her stomach. "It just feels…right. Like I'm meant to be here, with you."
Lily smiled, and was about to turn around to give him a kiss on the cheek again, when another sound distracted them, and she looked instead up to the sound of coals being raked noisily. James was crouching by the fire, loudly rattling the poker and tongs, shifting hot coals around. Eventually he got up and swivelled to look at them.
"Sorry," he said, briefly. "The other side of the room's a bit cold." The fact that he was wearing a t-shirt did not seem to occur to him. Lily rolled her eyes as he walked away again.
"Déjà vu," Tom said, as he refocused on her. "Now, what were we doing?"
"This," Lily replied, nodding her head at her parchment. Tom shook his head.
"No," he said. "This." He kissed her softly and quickly on the lips.
"Tom!" Lily protested, feeling her cheeks redden. "This is the common room and we are in full view of the whole House! Stop it!" But she allowed him to keep himself near her, his body warmth enveloping her. She continued to try to think of ideas for the menus, while Tom gave her mingled suggestions and discreet kisses.
Slowly, though, another noise faded into the foreground. Every so often, Lily would hear intermittent bouts of coughing. It began to occur to her that a certain someone seemed to be crossing the room several times, always happening to walk straight in front of her. More annoyed now, she looked up.
"James, what are you doing?" she asked impatiently.
James shrugged. "Sirius keeps chucking my quill here." He held up a quill, as if for evidence.
"And the coughing?"
"I have a dry throat, ok?" James too sounded slightly irritated.
"Good for you. Bye bye."
James ignored her and walked off.
The peace did not last long.
Five minutes later, Lily was roused once again. Most people in the common room were working, but the Marauders were talking quietly. All of a sudden, James burst into loud laughter. So loud, in fact, that almost the entire room turned to look at him, including Lily.
For a moment, she wondered what the joke was, and then she realised that there was no joke. Remus, Sirius and Peter were staring at him, looking just as confused as everyone else.
"Good one, Padfoot!" James said, apparently trying to calm down. He burst into laughter again.
"Uh…okay," Sirius said uncertainly. "Whatever you say."
James calmed down again, and looked around at the staring people, his eyes lingering a moment too long on the two figures by the fire. "Sorry I disturbed you," he said amiably, grinning round. "It was just so funny!"
Slowly, everyone began to return to what they were doing, and the noise level rose back to its original level. It was not fast enough, however, that Lily did not hear Sirius say: "James, what the heck were you laughing at?"
She ignored the comment, passing it off as nothing important, and focused once again on trifle, apple pie, and ice cream.
Twenty minutes later, Tom still next to (and partly on top of) her, Lily saw a shadow once again before her. No prizes for guessing who it was.
"James," Lily said, through partially gritted teeth. "What is it now?"
"Nothing," James said coolly. "I just wanted to see if you've finished with the dessert suggestions, so we can combine them and the main course."
"Not really," Lily replied, stretching her neck.
"Oh," James said. He paused a moment before adding sarcastically, "Well, I thought you were working pretty hard. Must have not been the parchment you were studying so intently."
Tom's arms tightened around her, but Lily wrenched herself out of them and stood up quickly.
"Wh – Ja – you –" She narrowed her eyes, grabbed his arm roughly, and turned to face Tom. "I'm sorry Tom, I just need to go and have a talk about good manners with the Head Boy." Whirling around, she dragged James out of the common room angrily, and down the corridor, a short distance from the Fat Lady. She swung him around to face her.
"What is your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," James said. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.
"Oh yes you do!" Lily said angrily. She put her hands on her hips and gazed at him. "Don't deny it. Why couldn't you leave me alone?"
"I have no idea what you're on about," James said. He looked up at the ceiling. "Aren't we just wasting our time here?"
"Nope," Lily replied. She changed her tactics, and imitated his pose. "We are going to stand right here until you decide to be mature."
"You'll be out here all night."
"Do you think I care?"
"I don't know. Do you?"
Lily was about to respond heatedly, but bit her tongue just in time. Instead, she fixed her gaze on his face, determined that they would sort things out.
Eventually, after ten minutes of silence, James finally tore his eyes away from his feet and sighed.
"So are you going out with Tom?"
The question was so unexpected that it took Lily by surprise. "Don't change the subject."
"I'm not. Are you going out with him?"
Lily sighed, deciding it was no use fighting him. "Yes," she said wearily.
"Do you like him?"
"What's with the interrogation?"
"Do you like him?"
"Yeah." Lily failed to see the point of this, but if it meant that he would eventually start talking, she was all for it.
James looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Then maybe I should warn you, Lily. Tom isn't perfect."
"Excuse me?"
"He tends to…uh, kind of, believe rumours, without question."
Lily was genuinely baffled about why he was saying this. "What on earth are you on about?"
"It's just – he tends to, uh, be one of those people that listen to rumours, and take them seriously. So, uh, be careful. He's wanted by a lot of girls in school. All of whom know his weakness."
Lily raised her eyebrows. "I can look after myself."
"I was trying to help," James said in a nettled tone.
"I don't need help!" Lily shot back. "There's nothing wrong, and I don't see why you have to take such an interest in my personal life!"
"I'm just saying, Tom isn't as great as he seems!"
"What do you have against Tom? He's a nice guy! You can't decide who I can and can't go out with!"
By this time, their voices were escalating, and what Lily had originally thought of as a "discussion" was quickly becoming an argument.
"Why do you care? That has nothing to do with it!"
"Yes it does! It has everything to do with it! What do you have against him?" James glared at her. "Is it something he does or says? Is it that he takes up space in the Marauders' dorm? Is it because you know girls are after him too? Is that it? Are you jealous?"
James turned abruptly away from her.
Lily stared at his back. "That's it, isn't it? You're jealous of him. But why? You're popular, clever, Head Boy. What could you possibly be jealous about?"
James sighed. He turned around, his arms still crossed defensively over his body, but would not meet her eyes. "You know what? In one respect, I do envy him." His voice was quiet, and he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"But what can he have that you want? You have everything!"
"There's one thing he's got that I haven't."
"What's that?" Lily was genuinely curious by now – there was no longer any anger in her tone.
For the first time, James raised his head and looked directly into her eyes.
"He's got you."
And he walked away.
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A/N: Hi all. Excuse my late update (what else is new?) and I promise to try and get the next one out as soon as I get half a chance. No guarantees, though – from what I've heard, Year 12 is a bitch when it comes to work :grimaces: Encouraging, no? See my LJ for a full explanation (link on my profile).
Love you all, and love you even more if you leave a review,
CoS