She was a zombie when she was escorted into the Briggs fort. She heard people talking to her but she couldn't comprehend what they said. It all sounded like she was underwater, swimming but with nowhere to go. Her eyes were raw, as if she'd been crying but she didn't remember doing so. The pit of her stomach felt hollow and empty. She was offered something to eat but she refused. She was sick with fear for everyone that had been left behind. She wanted to do something to help. But she felt like a useless fool, her only weapons were a paint brush and canvas. She didn't feel strong, she couldn't use alchemy, she was no soldier… but neither was Richard. She didn't think she could feel any worse. He was stronger than she was. He went back and here she was safe and sound. She was just the poor damsel in distress who had been rescued and sent off and it ate at her that she couldn't do more to help.

She stood in the shower, hardly feeling the water wash over her. She wanted to cry but she held it in. She had no reason to cry because it would only be for her helplessness. She knew Edward wouldn't want her anywhere where she'd be in harms way. They had gone to so much trouble to rescue her and Richard; she wouldn't waste their efforts by being in the way, as much as it hurt her to feel that's what she'd be.

She dried off, put on a change of clothes that General Olivier Armstrong had lent her and went to lie down. She sighed, exhausted but unable to sleep. She didn't know how long she had been lying there awake but unseeing… unthinking, when there was a knock on the door and Armstrong came in with some good news. But it did little to ease her fears.

Several hours later Elysia sat next to Lin's bed as he recovered from surgery. The Emperor suffered from internal bleeding and the Briggs medical staff successfully stopped it. He still didn't look very good, pale and bruised. She looked across at Fletcher sleeping soundly. She was happy to see him and even happier to receive a message through him that was from Edward, saying he, Al and Richard were alright. But nothing too specific or when they would be returning. She wondered if Fletcher was leaving anything out. If two men returned in these conditions then perhaps they weren't the only ones injured. She knew Edward to be a stubborn person, not willing to take it easy even if he didn't have the strength. But she reasoned if Edward was badly injured then surely he would have returned with Lin and Fletcher. It gave her some comfort.

Armstrong was a gracious and sympathetic hostess - when her subordinates were not around to witness it. She always seemed comfortable enough to let her guard down around Elysia. Not by much but Elysia could tell the difference. She tried to urge Elysia to return to her room and rest. But she couldn't leave Lin or Fletcher. They were her link to Edward. Besides, she wouldn't be able to fully rest until he returned. But when she was found dozing in the chair she was finally convinced to go to her room and lie down. She did, hardly feeling her body as she moved through the hallways. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

She didn't know how long she'd been sleeping when she felt a gentle shaking. But her eyes refused to open to see what it was from. And she didn't much care to find out. Then she felt something soft on her lips, her name murmured in her ear. It was so soothing and gentle, she was afraid that if she woke she would disrupt the calmness that warmed her body. But she couldn't resist his tickling breath on her neck and she wrapped her arms around Edward's neck, holding him tight, tears finally flowing freely.

"Am I dreaming?" She asked scared that if she opened her eyes she would find that she was.

"No," he said gently and she dared to open her eyes as he pulled back. Staring into hers was a pair of gold, shining brightly.

"I was so scared for you," she said. "I was told you were fine but when I saw the way Lin and Fletcher returned..." She stopped. There was something in his eyes that she hadn't seen for a long time: guilt and sadness. "Are you alright?" She asked worriedly, her hand going to the side of his face.

"I don't know," he whispered and held her tight, burying his face on her shoulder.

"Ed, what's..." she began then gasped. Something was very different and it wasn't just emotionally. Her hand slipped along his right arm, all the way down to his hand.

"Al did it."

It sounded like an accusation, as if Al had committed some crime. Elysia never imagined that Edward would ever get his arm back - and she assumed he had a flesh leg to go along as well. The way he explained it he'd have to give up something in return. Besides, he never expressed a wish to recover his limbs. He was so accepting of his automail, treating as if it were flesh and blood, never giving it a second thought until it needed maintenance. She was confused; she couldn't figure out his reaction. Was he upset over what was given up? Or was he upset he lost the automail?

"Elysia," he said before she could ask him anything. "I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're…"

"I am!" He pulled away from her and sat up, looking her in the eye, his left hand squeezing her arm tight. She stopped herself from arguing with him. There was nothing she could say that would change his mind. Then his resolve faltered and he loosened his grip on her arm. Lowering his voice, he added gently, "Al, he put things right, the way they should be and I wish he hadn't." He looked away; too ashamed to meet her eyes.

"Why?" Elysia whispered as she sat up.

"Because I'm egoistical and self centered. That's why."

Elysia didn't know what to tell him. Her mind was in a whirlwind; she was traumatized, relieved, exhausted, confused...

Edward sighed and finally met her eyes. "You and Richard are safe, the homunculi are destroyed but I'm pouting like a kid who lost his favorite toy. I haven't even thought about you and how your feeling after everything you've been through."

Elysia smiled but it was weak and pathetic. "I'm too confused to even explain how I feel right now. All I want to know is how Al got your arm back. Your leg too?"

Edward nodded. "He made an agreement with the Gate and my arm and leg was a gift, to show that the Gate would follow through with the agreement."

Edward hesitated before continuing to tell her what the agreement was. He was so pale, so stained and he looked just as confused as Elysia. "I've been trying to hide it from him," he continued. "Fuck, I don't even know what to call what I'm feeling. Disappointment, I guess. More like stupidity. But Al knows something is wrong, he's too perceptive. I think I could have handled my arm and leg but the alchemy..."

"But you said you could still use Xing's alchemy. You've been studying it for years."

"I have but it's not the same. And it's more than just losing my favorite alchemy technique. It's the rest of the alchemist in the country who don't know what's happened. We've lost our power. We've been left defenseless."

Elysia hadn't thought of it that way. "You don't think any neighboring countries would...?" She asked nervously.

"No, not now. But that's only because the current leaders get along with Mustang. But what happens when they are replaced. Who knows how long it'll take to retrain hundreds of alchemists. I need to lie down."

Elysia helped Edward ease down onto the bed. As she did she noticed his stained shirt and the ragged hole in the middle. The shirt was stained with blood.

Her throat constricted and it was hard to breathe. "Edward," she said and cleared her throat. "What happened to you?"

"I told you I'm a horrible person," he said with no emotion. "I nearly die and I can't show the proper appreciation to Al for saving me. He did the right thing and instead of being grateful I feel sorry for myself. Can you forgive me?"

Elysia blinked not understanding why he wanted her forgiveness. "For what?"

"For being a selfish fool."

"I forgave you a long time ago for that," Elysia said with a small smirk.

Edward chuckled. He closed his eyes for a moment. Elysia leaned over and smoothed back a strand of hair that had fallen across his forehead. He opened one eye. "You look exhausted."

"So do you."

"Come here," he said gently pulling her down next to him. Elysia snuggled close to him as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

"What do we do now?" She sighed.

"Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. We both have strong legs to take us there.*"

"It sounds like you've said that before."

"I did. To someone who felt lost, who had no idea what to believe in; as I do but maybe not so much now, if I follow my own advice."

"Good," Elysia smiled, feeling the tension in her chest ease. "It's a good idea. But can we do that after we've rested a bit."

"Is there something we can do after we get some rest but before we stand up?"

Elysia giggled. "Sure, if you have the stamina for it?"

Edward snorted. "I have the stamina for anything."

* Fullmetal Alchemist Vol. 1, Chapter 2 The Price of Life