"So how are you able to conjure up monsters like that?" asked Harley of the Scarecrow as they walked. "It sure looked and sounded pretty real to me! Is it magic?"
"It's a fear gas of my own invention," said the Scarecrow, proudly. "It took many, many attempts to make it as effective as it is now – I have the power to frighten hundreds of people simultaneously to extraordinary effect, as you've seen. The process was slow, and not at all what I wanted initially. It conjured up visions of the bizarre and the fantastic, for as we all know, humanity intrinsically fears that which it does not understand. The effect was more uncanny than unnerving – people would see rabbits in waistcoats and caterpillars smoking hookahs and that sort of thing. Bizarre, but not terrifying. That wasn't my goal. So with a lot more trials and failures, I finally achieved the success you saw at the Queen of Hearts's palace."
"So you didn't actually create the look of that monster – everyone just saw what they interpreted the Monster to look like?" asked Harley.
"Yes, exactly," said the Scarecrow, nodding. "What was it for you?"
"This giant, dragon thing," said Harley. "What about you, Jervis?"
"Oh yes, very similar," agreed the Mad Hatter, nodding. "With jaws that bite and claws that catch and eyes of flame and burbling as it came."
"Is that similar to how the Monster really looks?" asked Harley.
"Nobody knows," said the Cheshire Catwoman, who stalked on ahead. "Nobody who has ever seen the Monster has lived to tell about it."
"Oh. So how do you know there is a monster?" asked Harley, slowly.
"It left a note at one of its crime scenes," replied the Mad Hatter. "Among the horribly smiling corpses of the dead, it expressed its desire to control all of Wonderland, and signed its name. That…name that I already told you in the dungeons."
"You said its name?" demanded the Scarecrow. "Jervis, you know how dangerous that is!"
"Johnny, you're a man of science – you can't seriously believe that saying the name of something is bad luck," retorted Harley. "Scientists don't believe in superstitious stuff like that."
"I am a man of science, my dear, but things in this world do not often conform to strict scientific rules," replied the Scarecrow. "In fact, the more time you spend in Wonderland, the more you will realize that it is a completely mad place, devoid of any sense or reason."
"To be honest, based on my experiences so far, I kinda already figured that out," retorted Harley. "But if it was able to sign its name, it can't be a giant dragon-thing, can it? They don't have opposable thumbs, and they probably can't read."
"I can sign my name and read, and I'm a cat," retorted the Cheshire Catwoman. "We told you – things are different here than in your world. Nothing has to make sense."
"That is, it doesn't have to make sense as you see it, but who's to say that nonsense isn't sense, from a certain point of view?" asked the Mad Hatter.
"…Right," said Harley, slowly. "So…what if we encounter this monster on our travels, but we won't recognize it because we won't know what it looks like?"
"Well, if we encounter it, we're dead," retorted the Mad Hatter. "It doesn't leave survivors. That's how we'll know."
"That's technically a paradox – we won't know, because we'll be dead," said the Scarecrow. "A most ingenious paradox…"
They were crossing a bridge over a stream at that moment when something sprang out of the water with a roar, landing in front of them. It was a huge crocodile-man, with sharp teeth and claws.
"It's the Jokerwocky!" shrieked Harley, terrified.
"Where?" exclaimed the crocodile-man, who also looked terrified.
"Harley! What have we told you about that name?" demanded the Mad Hatter. "Do you want to bring the Monster down on us?!"
"No, I just thought...that was the Monster," said Harley, pointing at the crocodile-man.
"Me? No, I'm Killer Croc," retorted the crocodile-man. "Why would you think I was the Monster?"
"Oh, I dunno – maybe because you jumped out at us roaring, and have sharp teeth and claws!" snapped Harley.
"You're describing half of Wonderland there," sighed the Scarecrow. "Good morning, Croc – how are you today?"
"I'm fine. What are you guys doing in these parts?" asked Croc.
"We're on the run from the Queen and the Knave," replied the Mad Hatter. "They think we've taken Alice, but it's the wrong Alice."
"I see," said Croc, nodding as if this all made perfect sense to him. "Well, how do you do, Wrong Alice?" he asked, turning to Harley.
"Uh…the name's Harley," said Harley, slowly.
"You wanna hear a poem?" asked Killer Croc.
"A what?" demanded Harley.
"A poem," repeated Killer Croc.
"Uh…we're on the run, like he said, so we kinda don't have time for a poem…" began Harley, slowly.
"Harley, it's most rude not to listen to a poem here when one has offered to recite one," snapped the Mad Hatter. "It's common courtesy in Wonderland, and we don't want to have bad manners, do we? Even when our life is at stake, we must not act like barbarians, and maintain proper etiquette at all times. Go ahead, Croc," he said, nodding.
Croc cleared his throat. "How doth the giant crocodile, improve his common speech, by reciting rhymes and poetry, every single day and each. With such good form a savage brute, though rough around the scales, can have the manners of a man, while still having a tail."
Everyone applauded, except Harley, who just looked around in confusion. "So…this is normal here?" she asked. "You meet people, they recite poems, you applaud?"
"Yes, and then we move on," said the Mad Hatter. "Lovely to see you again, Croc. And thank you for the most entertaining poem."
"You're welcome," said Croc, cheerfully. "Good luck evading the Queen and the Knave. Hope you don't get your heads chopped off. Nice to meet you, Wrong Alice," he said, nodding at Harley. He then dove into the water again.
"Well, let's press on," said the Scarecrow, and he, the Mad Hatter, and the Cheshire Catwoman continued walking as if nothing unusual had just happened.
Harley rolled her eyes and followed them, muttering, "You'd find more sense in a madhouse, I tell ya…"