The Truth Of The Heart
Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)
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Chapter 28: Danger Signs
"Well?"
At the tone of Lily's impatient voice, Sirius sighed loudly as she sprang off her chair and came towards him.
"So how's he doing?" she asked worriedly.
"The same as he was at lunchtime. Still unconscious, no change, but there shouldn't be any lasting damage."
"That's all you have to say?"
Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "Look, Lily," he said tiredly. "If you're so worried about James, why don't you just go and visit him? He's been up there for two days now, and I doubt you've even set foot over the doorway."
Lily flushed pink. "I – I have homework," she said lamely.
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, we both believe that."
"I do!" Lily gestured at the table. "In fact, I'd better go do it now!" Hurriedly, she walked back.
Rolling his eyes, Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself." He walked off to his dorm, ignoring a third year that was batting her eyelashes at him.
Lily sat down, feeling glum. Sirius' words were true. Ever since the attack had happened two days ago, when she had nearly been hit by six Stunning spells, but been shoved to a side by James, who had turned up from nowhere and got hit in her stead, she had been unwilling to go to the hospital wing to see him, for reasons she could not explain, even to herself. Instead, she had quizzed – practically interrogated – the Marauders every time one of them came back from a visit. The conversations inevitably ended like the one above, no matter whether it was Remus, Sirius or Peter she was talking to.
Lily groaned inwardly. This was ridiculous. She had to go see him – he was like a business partner, for God's sake.
That was it. She would go and visit her fellow Head student. Nothing to it. She packed up and left, before she could back out of it.
Her burst of adrenaline carried her all the way to the hospital wing, and into an argument with Madam Pomfrey on the length of her visit. Having managed to bargain for fifteen minutes, she walked into the cool clean room, and headed towards the bed surrounded by screens at the end.
The first thing that punched her in the face when she stepped around the screen was the explosion of colours and smells that blasted themselves at her senses. The source? A table beside the bed piled high with bunch upon bunch of flowers, all still wrapped neatly in their cellophane wrappers. Dotted around them were boxes of chocolates, all stacked precariously on top of each other. Raising her eyebrows, Lily read a few of the tags: 'Get well soon James darling, love Leana.' 'Hope to see you up soon, all the love in the world, Elise.'
She made a face. His fan club. From the looks of things, all of this was from them. Not that it was doing him much good.
Taking her gaze off the table, Lily approached the bed, andsat down cautiouslyon a chair beside the head. Unsure of herself, she clasped her hands in her lap, and looked at him. Despite the fact that he was unconscious, she could not help thinking that apart from the pallor of his face, he looked as though he were about to wake up from a deep sleep. He looked different without his glasses –more innocent and vulnerable, and Lily could easily imagine that were he to open his eyes, they would not have their usual sharp focus. His skin was so white that it blended in with the clinical, white bedding and hospital-issue pyjamas. For all of this, his hair stood out in stark contrast, like a raven's feather lying on snow. If it were not for the slight rise and fall of his chest, he could have been almost…
Don't think it, Lily told herself sternly. You're here to visit the boy, not mourn him. She took a deep breath.
"Hi James," she said quietly. "It's me, Lily. I've come to visit – after two long days. I'm sorry it took me a while – I've had homework." At this statement, Sirius' words echoed back to her, and Lily knew she could not lie, even to someone who couldn't hear her. "Okay, no, it wasn't that. The truth was…I don't know. It was just…hard for me to come up here." She swallowed. "I owe you my thanks, James. You saved me from those Stunners, and I know you paid for it in full."
He had as well. Quite apart from the fact that he was unconscious, when she hadmanaged to gethim up to the Hospital Wing, blood had been dripping from a cut in his head, and Sirius had told her later that there was bruising on his shoulder where he had hit the ground, and on his back, stomach, and ribs where Malfoy had kicked him. Apparently there had also been slight internal bleeding in his stomach – Malfoy had not been gentle. Mostly healed now, of course, but had he been left to himself, there could have been the possibility of death.
Suddenly realizing something as she thought of this, Lily looked back at the still figure.
"I guess I know now what Sergeant Wood was talking about at Alyssa's funeral," she said softly. "You did what Alyssa did, and got hurt in someone else's stead." She sighed. "Nobility. You have that damn streak of nobleness that makes you worry about keeping other people safe, and forget about yourself."
Unconsciously, she reached forward and brushed her hand gently over his hair, pushing it back from his face. The black strands were surprisingly soft to the touch, and as she pushed it away, she felt a rush of tenderness. "I won't be surprised if even your kid has the same fault," she remarked dryly. Suddenly realising she was still smoothing his untameable hair, she pulled her hand away as if it were burnt and flushed, thankful that there was no on there to see her.
"Well…uhm…I don't know if you know it, but…I'm not the only one who's turned up, obviously,. You've had quite a lot of admirers asking after you. Sirius said that apparently they've all been turned away from seeing you…but, uh, the evidence is piled up on that table." Lily smiled fondly. "Sirius is something else entirely. He manages it up here before breakfast, at lunch, and some time in the evening – he says he wants to 'relieve the monotony' of whatever it is you're thinking about there. Personally, I think he's hoping you wake up just because you get sick of hearing his voice so much. And I have no idea how he's getting round Madam Pomfrey so much." Her voice faded at her next words.
"He was the first person I met when I was trying to get you to the Hospital Wing, you know. I was really out of it myself, and I didn't know what to do with you – I ended up levitating you, and then Sirius met me halfway. He went white when he saw you James, I swear, I've never seen anyone look like that. When I managed to get out what had happened, he was so angry –if it weren't for you lying in mid-air and me about to faint, I think – I think he'd have murdered Lucius Malfoy and his cousin, and – and his brother, with his own hands."
She looked at the pale face, willing something – anything – to happen, to prove she had a listener.
Nothing did.
"Well…I still don't know why you and him disappeared that day. I asked Remus, and all he did was sigh and say I would find out eventually. I hope I do. I have to admit, I'm curious. And Sirius has changed." He had as well. Lily did not understand how someone like Sirius, who she had known for coming up to seven years, could change so completely in the space of one or two days. But now was not the time to be thinking of that, she reminded herself.
"Anyway, Remus and Peter come up here once a day – they're doing their part too. Remus duplicated all his notes, so you don't miss any class work, and Peter's worked out nearlya million strategies for Quidditch, so that if – when you get out, you can get straight to work with the team. You know how good he is at chess; this is like child's play for him." Lily sighed. "And I -" She paused. "I've been doing your bit for the Head work. But you're going to have to take a look at the accounts…w-when you're back. I know I've done something wrong." She laughed nervously. "No surprises there, huh?"
"Miss Evans!" Madam Pomfrey had come around the edge of the screen. "Out! This boy needs his peace – you must have talked his ear off by now." She went back around the curtains, muttering, "…far too many friends visiting . . . no rest at all…"
Lily smiled at the sleeping boy. "Bye," she said in a low voice. "Get well soon…I…we…miss you." She followed Madam Pomfrey out.
Behind the screen, however, there was movement. A muscle twitched, and a few moments later, James' Potter's eyes blinked slowly open.
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A few days later, James was restored to his friends, still looking wan, but greeted heartily. He spent a lot of time sitting down, and everyone knew of the bandages still around his ribs, and the way he winced slightly and put a hand to his chest when he yawned, but perhaps he found at least a partial reward in Lily's warm friendship and cheerful smiles at him. His general outfit out of school consisted of baggy sweatshirts and jeans, but he was not allowed an exception during school hours. The bandages, clearly visible through his white school shirt, seemed only to spur on his numerous, giggling well-wishers.
Indeed, the Marauders had always been one of the focuses of school attention, either for their pranks, looks, detention records, or even simply because of the bonds of friendship that held them together so closely. But now . . .
Now, only one topic of conversation was riveting all the gossipmongers of Hogwarts. It had outstripped the news of the Head Boy's attack. Indeed, almost everyone at Hogwarts was discussing it, from teachers down to first years, whether with curiosity, shock, admiration, or loathing (a sentiment reserved mainly by the Slytherins).
The subject of all this debate?
Sirius Black himself.
Sirius had always been much sought-after by the female population of Hogwarts. He was dangerously good-looking – his dark hair and grey eyes sent out lethal vibes of attraction to all girls. Combine those with a toned body and that charming, mischievous grin that made him James' twin, and he was a perilous person to entangle your heart with. His eyes alone were the Charybdis, the whirlpool in which most girls drowned helplessly. Despite this, he was always known as a fun-loving prankster, with a bad-boy overtone that was not downplayed by his detention record, which only James could rival.
Suddenly, however, something had altered drastically. Since that fateful day when he had left the hall so quickly at breakfast, his persona had done a gearshift. He constantly had a slightly moody expression on, and now seemed more defiant. The strange dearth of Marauder pranks since they had entered seventh year, which Lily had never truly appreciated, was now being made up for by more or less Sirius alone. Pranks and tricks were being played in their multitudes on both teachers and unsuspecting students (Slytherins), but they now seemed more of an act of rebellion rather than to get a laugh. Streams of students ran out of classrooms holding their noses as Dungbombs were let off in hoards, only tobe targeted by water balloons that fell from every available inch of space above. Eggs and flour showered onto Slytherins wherever they walked. Chalk refused to write, books fell mysteriously onto the floor, chairs tipped over for no apparent reason, legs of tables disappeared, cupboards toppled over when no one was near them. Quills and parchment vanished before a student's eyes, and ink drained away or evaporated the moment the bottle was opened. Professor Flitwick's stack of cushions, which he sat on in order to see over his desk, disappeared from his cupboard, and were found dangling out of a window with ribbons tied to them a few hours later. The tricks were all fairly juvenile, and not particularly original, but the quantity of them seemed to suggest a prank on a grand scale.
Strangely enough, this sudden change in manner, which should have put girls at least somewhat in awe of Sirius, seemed only to increase his appeal.
The cold eyes alone would have scared Lily off, had she been a first-year, but apparently kids these days were made of tougher stuff. He had always been the most dangerous, sexy, and rebellious of the Marauders,and now that had moved to an entirely new level and his allure had increased tenfold. Everything, from the way his hair flicked into his eyes, to the way he lounged back in his chair in lessons, was squealed about in the corridors and common rooms. Yet, with the increase in attention had come Sirius' decrease in interest. Usually playing himself off to the best angle with his fawning admirers, he was now doing the exact opposite. The oddest thing was that he did not ask for any extra attention from them by flirting in any way. The only girls he now even gave the time of day to were Lily and Emma, possibly because he knew they were not falling all over him, possibly out of respect for the fact that they were the objects of affection of two of his best friends (althoughLily wasn't to know that).Although she was almost convinced that before long Sirius would return to himself, Lily was still concerned enough to ask James about it.
"Sirius is just…he's working through something," James had said calmly. "He's had to wake up and grow up, and quite frankly, I'm glad he's not punching people to let it out. If pranking is the way forward for him to deal with life, them I'm all for it."
And indeed, James was somehow finding the energy in his bruised and battered body to stay true to the spirit of the Marauders and back Sirius up in every prank he played. Peter was just small enough to sneak into various rooms to place pre-prepared tricks, or to provide an innocent-looking decoy. And angelic as Remus looked, Lily was sure that he was the mastermind behind some of their jokes.
She could not understand any of it.
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When Lily sat down to do homework with her friends that particular day, neither she nor they had any idea of what was to come. Tensions were running high once again among the seventh years as essay after essay was set. Random pieces of parchment were strewn over the table they were all sharing, among various heavy books borrowed from the Library. James and Peter were nearby, lying on the floor and working arduously (for once) through homework. The atmosphere was fairly peaceful and quiet, until…
The portrait hole swung open, and a babbling crowd of first-years entered, clambering noisily in.
"Hey," James called. "Can you be a little quieter please? We're knee-deep in homework, we need to concentrate."
About half of the first-years shut up and looked as though they were about to wet themselves. The other half eyed James with wary suspicion.
"Ah, don't mind the big bad Head Boy," came a voice. "He's just stressed out." The first-years all turned to see Sirius climbing in after them. Every mouth snapped shut, and they all stared; Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Go on kids, shoo." They all scuttled off, and Sirius headed over, Remus behind him.
"Honestly James, you ought to keep a tighter rein on the firsties," he said leisurely as he threw himself onto a low seat opposite the girls.
"Well you flush my reputation straight down the drain when you say things like 'big bad Head Boy'," James said, dipping his quill into his ink bottle and frowning at his parchment .
"It's my duty to do that," Sirius said. "That, as I have reminded you countless times, is why I'm going to be best man at your wedding."
"And that is why I'm never marrying," James mumbled under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Sirius had sharp ears.
"Yes you are, James," he said. "You're marrying -"
"Black!" Sapphire said, unable to stand it any more. "Could you please be quiet – I really need to finish this."
It was a dangerous thing to do. Sirius' focus switched onto her like a spotlight, though as her head was down, she missed the full effect.
"Oh dear," he said mockingly, "I've disturbed the Great One, Sapphire of the Mud."
"You disturbed me from day one," Sapphire said absently as she skimmed through a page of a huge reference book, yellowed with age and covered with tiny print. "Life was so much more peaceful when you weren't around."
"Forgive me, O Gracious One," Sirius stated sarcastically. "I know I'm a disappointment to the world in general, but it pains me so much more that I disappoint you too."
James looked up swiftly. Something in Sirius' words or tone seemed to have made him uneasy. "Sirius," he said warningly, but the boy ignored him. Remus was watching him warily now too.
"Yes, well, you take away many people's peace of mind with your antics, not just mine," Sapphire muttered.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, but Lily (who had now looked up to wonder why James was eyeing his best friend carefully) thought this was more to hide an emotion than to express one. "Little Miss Sapphire in the Mud," he said quietly, but with a harsh undertone. "Always insists on acting like she knows more than she actually does. Always second-guessing everyone around her. Always making assumptions about how things work."
That was an even moredangerous thing to say.
From nowhere, Sapphire stood up sharply and slammed her book shut with a loud THUD, causing parchment to flutter off the table.
"That is IT!" she exploded. "I have had it up to here with your wisecracks and your smartarse attitude. What is wrong with you?"
"Sapphire," Lily started, recognizing the danger signal in her highly-strung (at the moment) friend. "Why don't you calm -"
"No, Lily," Sapphire snapped, without taking her eyes off Sirius. "I want an answer. You clearly have a problem with me, Black. You continually pick on me. Why?"
Within a few seconds, the tension in the air had risen to an unpleasant pitch. A giant neon sign could not have done a better job of announcing the conflict to the entire population of Gryffindor, as everyone else in the common roomswivelled round.
Noting the sudden decrease in noise, Sapphire half-turned to see the rest of the common room staring back at her.
"What?" she barked. "Mind your own business!"
Quickly, everyone went back to what they were doing, and the sound of chatter rose again. Sapphire looked back at Sirius.
"Well?" she asked, her voice dangerously soft. "I want an answer, for once and for all. What is yourproblem with me?"
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A/N: Oooh, cliffie...and in my mind, it hasn't lost too much of its momentum from when I first wrote it (though I suppose the effect is a little lower for those of you that read this the first time round and know what happens next...) Still. Posts as often as possible, right? And until then, I would very much appreciate a review from all you nice people. Go on...hit that button...