"And why would I help you?" demanded the Knave of Hearts, tied to a chair inside of the Jokerwocky's hideout. "What's in it for me to betray the woman I serve and adore?"
"Well, you'll get to keep your head, for one thing," said the Jokerwocky.
"Not after she finds out that I betrayed her," retorted the Knave.
"She won't," said Harley, reassuringly. "Not until it's too late for her to do anything about it, anyway."
"And I repeat, why would I help you overthrow my Queen?" demanded the Knave. "I'd rather die first."
"That can be arranged," said the Jokerwocky, reaching for the axe.
"Just think about it," said Harley, intercepting his hand and shaking her head. "Once the Queen's deposed, she won't be so distracted ruling the kingdom and executing people. She'll be all yours."
"I would not wish to deprive her of her happiness," he retorted. "And ruling and beheading people makes her happy."
"Yeah, nothing more attractive than an insane control freak," said the Jokerwocky, sarcastically.
"Isn't there anything that you want that maybe we could help you get?" asked Harley. "We have a hatter and a scarecrow and a…catwoman. Surely our combined efforts can find you something you'd be willing to trade for your help?"
"Aside from the love of my Queen, I want nothing," retorted the Knave.
"Oh, have you lost the love of your Queen?" asked the Scarecrow. "If it's something you want, it's clearly not something you have, logically."
"Not surprising, so many things get lost here in Wonderland," sighed the Mad Hatter.
"What did she do, dump you for somebody else?" asked the Cheshire Catwoman. "Bitch. And I use that insult as a technical term for a female dog, because being a cat, I hate dogs."
"You know, you keep making this story un-kid friendly," snapped the Mad Hatter.
The Cheshire Catwoman shrugged. "I'm not really a fan of kiddie stuff. Unlike you, Jervis."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.
"We're getting off topic," snapped Harley.
"Welcome to Wonderland," said the Scarecrow, dryly. "If there ever was a plot, we lost it a long time ago."
"Along with our minds," agreed the Mad Hatter.
"So you and the Queen of Psychopaths had a little falling out, huh?" asked the Jokerwocky. "Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to see her for the awful person she is…"
"She's not awful!" snapped the Knave. "She's being manipulated by that monster the Dark Knight! He's so desperate to have you dead that he's joined forces with her, and wormed his way into her affections."
"Wait, the Dark Knight and the Queen of Hearts are teaming up to kill me?" demanded the Jokerwocky. "Do they know where we are?"
The Knave shrugged. "Shouldn't be too far behind me," he retorted with a grin.
"We have to go," said the Mad Hatter, urgently. "We have to leave here now, before a pack of playing cards bursts in!"
"So what if they do?" retorted Harley. "They're just a pack of cards."
"Yeah. You guys keep working on the Knave – I gotta get something," said the Jokerwocky, disappearing into another room.
"If you help us with the Queen, we'll help you with the Dark Knight," said Harley to the Knave. "Just get us inside the palace, slip this in her tea, and then we'll help you do whatever you want to get him out of the picture."
The Knave looked at the shrinking potion she held out to him. "You want me to shrink my Queen?" he demanded.
"You can bring her back to her normal size after she's deposed," retorted Harley. "The guys assure me the effects of these things are temporary."
"That may be so, but it still involves me betraying my Queen, and that's something I will never do under any circumstances," retorted the Knave. "Especially when I'm about to be rescued by the Queen's guards," he said, hearing the tramp of approaching footsteps from outside.
"Don't worry, Harley, we'll…" began the Cheshire Catwoman, but they suddenly saw a burst of fire from outside, and then heard screaming.
"What in Wonderland?" asked the Scarecrow, racing to the window. The others quickly followed to see the playing card guards, some on fire and running around screaming trying to put themselves out, while bursts of flame shot out from the roof of the hideout. Harley looked up to see the Jokerwocky holding another device that appeared to shoot fire.
"It's called a flamethrower!" he called down, noticing them staring up at him. "I made it myself based on the one I used to have in Gotham, and using your weird, Victorian technology! Very effective against things made of paper!"
"I can…see that," said Harley, gazing at the carnage in shock. When the cards had either burned to ashes or run off, the Jokerwocky hopped down from the roof.
"No more Mr. Nice Guy," he muttered, approaching the Knave and pointing the flamethrower at him. "All right, here's the deal, half-face," he snapped. "We're gonna attack the Queen's palace either way. If you can sneak a couple of us in, we'll try and be subtle, and spare your sweetie pie's life. But if you don't, we're gonna launch a frontal assault, burn all her little minions to death as you just saw, and then take this torch to her face and see if you still want her then! Of course, this will be after we've evened out your face by removing the half of skin you still have left! So it's your choice, pal!"
The Knave glared at him. "Do you have a coin?" he asked.
"Why?" asked the Jokerwocky.
"If I can't make decisions on my own, I ask a coin," replied the Knave. "It's as reliable as anything else in Wonderland."
"I think I have a shilling somewhere," said the Mad Hatter, feeling around in his pockets.
"What happened to your face in the first place?" asked Harley.
"Oh, my Queen did it," said the Knave. "The last time I failed her. She said she wouldn't chop off my head, but burning off half my face was punishment enough. She is most merciful."
"Right…Stockholm syndrome much?" muttered Harley under her breath as the Mad Hatter handed the Knave his coin.
He flipped it, and it landed heads up. "So is that a yes?" asked Harley, slowly.
"Heads? It means I'm doing what you ask, and taking you to the Queen," he said, nodding. "And speaking of heads, you'd better hang on to yours."