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I Live, Therefore I Am

I felt as if I had hardly slept when I felt Edward's metal hand shake my shoulder, the sun finding a way through my eye lids, blinding me as I shivered. I felt dirty, and I wanted a shower. I never minded being woken in the morning, especially if it was by Edward; However this morning I kind of had the urge to punch him in the face, crawl right into my soft bed and sleep for another three hours. I was extremely tired, as I rubbed my eyes looking into his eyes.

"Hey listen..." He was ready to tell me something important, I could hear it in his voice. I squinted, pulling myself up. "I talked to that girl, Noah before-" Heh, that girl Noah... "-And she said if we were willing to get off with her at the next stop, we could spend tonight in her apartment, for free. And I was thinking it might be good if we did-" My mouth dropped as I couldn't believe the words coming from his. I closed it as quickly as I could.

"Are you serious, Ed?! There's absolutely no fucking way that's happen'en! What happened to just getting a motel again?" I snapped into his face, causing him to lean back in his seat. I crossed my arms, glaring at him angrily. I could tell he was surprised.

He defiantly had to have some sort of relationship with this woman, we just met her yesterday, and he was ready to sleep with her... Could I be over reacting? Well, either way it bothered me.

"What the hell is wrong with that?" He eventually barked back comfortably. "We can't afford a motel tonight anyway-"

"I'd rather sleep on the train! Forget it, I'm not going, you can do with ever you want! I thought we were looking for Alphonse, and now your ready to get up all over that girl!" I didn't mean for that one to slip. I wanted him to know I was mad.

And a little upset, maybe.

"Damn it Winry, I have no idea what your talking about!" I frowned even harder as I seemed to have no choice but to stand from my seat, squeezing past his legs into the aisle, about to walk towards the bathroom, for I needed sometime alone. He grabbed my wrist, still sitting, as I spun around infuriated.

"What?!" I spat.

"Were going together, it's the best thing for our situation! And you better stop fucking talking like that, I have no idea what's gotten into your head, but I'm not some-" I ripped my hand away from him finding my way down the aisle. I knew he was watching my back the entire time as I disappeared behind the bathroom door. Why wouldn't he listen to me? Why did he want to stay wither her? We were broke but I'm sure we had enough for a few more nights somewhere. As for now, I hated him.

After an hour more on the train, an hour ride in a taxi, and a 15 minute walk, we arrived at Noah's apartment. I hadn't spoken to Edward since the train. She explained it was new building, and because it was in the poorest part of the city, she had bought it extremely cheap.

Through listening and ignoring, I learned that she recently started living on her own, and hadn't seen Edward in a few months- Al and I arrived on this side of the gate a few months ago. Ed has briefly told me before he used to stay with a man named Alfons Heidric, and he described him to look exactly like Al when he would grow up. Now thinking back, maybe he had mentioned something about a woman as well.

I wanted to fucking kill him.

I still questioned the fact she had known exactly who I was by one glance...

Still, I tried to be as nice as I could to Noah; maybe it was my way of getting as much information as possible. I offered to help with her lugged when we reached the room, as well as always answering any question she asked Ed, or he asked her.

"So, what's the sleeping arrangements for tonight?" Ed had asked, as the three of us sat around her small coffee table drinking jasmine tea. Ed was relaxed in an arm chair, as Noah crossed her legs on the couch with me. I pouted, folding my arms finding Edward's eyes.

"Yeah well, it's really nice of you to... You know, let us stay here. And all..." I stated confidently, not letting Noah answer, keeping my eyes off of the former alchemist. I could tell he had become uncomfortable, bending his eye brows, then turning toward her.

"Well, Edward helped me out not too long ago, so it's the least I can do." My face lit up; Bingo! So she had been staying with him recently. Thinking it through, I was happy I had gained more information Ed did not want me to hear, but a great amount of sadness and abandonment suddenly drifted over me.

She really had stayed with him, huh?

"Well Winry.-" Noah turned, I smiled politely forgetting my own feelings. "-You can have the spare single in my room, and I'm afraid the only other comfortable place to sleep is the couch, Ed. In less you want to switch with-"

"No, Ed will be fine on the couch! Plus, I haven't slept in a bed alone- I mean in a single bed in a while!" I tried to laugh slightly to cover up the awkward silence that had found it's way into the room. Slowly, I got up finding a distraction as Noah and Edward's eyes had froze on me. "Noah, you have a bathroom, right?" She pointed to a small door behind the kitchen table.

"But you just used it before we left the train-" Edward exclaimed.

"Alright, thanks. Excuse me for just a second." I practically jumped inside shutting the door hard.

I fell to the sink, turning on the facet instantly, just in time to block out the sound of my tears.

Damn it, I... I really did love him; I always have.

xxx