Author's Note:

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. To be honest, I added this chapter pretty much last minute. I originally wanted to forgo the cemetery scene since I don't feel like I'm any good at conveying the feel of a visit to the graveyard. I never had to grieve someone very close to me (fortunate for me, unfortunate for the story) and therefore feel like I can't portray the emotions going through someone who has lost a family member, especially a parent. I tried my best, but I don't make any promises. Please let me know if this comes across believable or not.

On a side note, I'll be attending a wedding this weekend and probably won't be able to update or write until after. The next few days I will either spend at work or making preparations for the bridal couple, so I decided to upload this chapter a little earlier than planned.

Present

They walked the rest of the way side by side in companionable silence both lost in their own thoughts and entered the cemetery a few minutes later. Eric slowed his steps as soon as they set foot on the grounds of the park and fell behind. He watched Emma head confidently in the direction of the graveside where their mother was buried. He was glad that at least his sister didn't dread the visit to the graveyard and even seemed eager to reach the headstone.

It was an understatement to say that he wasn't as thrilled. He hated coming here with a passion. People always said visiting a loved ones' grave would get easier with passing time, but Eric could only disagree. For him visiting the grave became harder and harder with every time that he came here as it was just another reminder of a gruesome disease that had taken away their mother way too early. And it was just another reminder that neither he nor Emma could know for sure that they would be spared the same destiny.

Eric shuddered. He shook his head violently to one side as if it would help erase the dark thoughts. This wasn't the right time or place to get lost in his torturous mind. He resented his brain sometimes for grasping at worst-case-scenarios like a claw, drawing them to the front of his conscious and keeping them there for him to dwell on.

Pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans he pushed himself against the invisible restraints and followed after his sister. She had stopped at some point and was waiting for him. She most likely sensed that something was on his mind, but decided not to comment on it. Apparently his earlier confession had satisfied her need for answers for the time being and Eric was glad that she wasn't pushing anymore right now.

Once reassured that Eric indeed followed her Emma resumed walking and reached the headstone with their mothers name embarked on it shortly after. He was still a few rows of graves away and watched as she crouched down to place the bouquet of pink carnations and white lilies on the flowerbed. She pushed a strand of hair behind her right ear and shifted a little until she found a comfortable position across from the headstone. Eric took a few more tentative steps and came to a stop a few feet away from the grave.

"Hi mom…" he heard Emma begin. Her voice was warm and soft and held a compassion to it that could only be portrayed when loving someone deeply. Eric loved it when her voice took on this quality. Whenever she used that voice he was reminded of the fact that nothing, not even Alzheimer's had been able to destroy the deepest love between a mother and her child. He felt the warmth spread inside him and a small smile tugged at his lips.

"It's us, Emma and Eric. We wish you a happy 57th birthday, wherever you may be right now. We are a little late this time. Eric had to catch up on some things at work, but we are here now. Better late than never, right?" Emma chuckled lightly and continued talking to their mother as if she was right there with them. She went on about the recent developments in her life, privately and professionally speaking.

Eric dug his heels into the gravel beneath him and just listened to what she had to say to their mom. Emma had always been a skilled storyteller, coloring her speech, intonating in just the right places to make it lively and enjoyable and using her whole body to convey the message. Eric was always amazed and captured when she went far afield and if he was being honest with himself he sometimes felt a little jealous of her skills. Not of the fact that she could make the most boring things sound exciting, but the fact that she could talk so freely to someone who wasn't physically there anymore.

In the past seven years he hadn't found the courage to talk to his mothers' grave. He didn't even feel comfortable enough for a simple 'hey mom'. He had tried a multitude of times, mostly because Emma encouraged or begged him to do so, but those two words were as far as he had come to talking to her. His vocal chords had always clammed up right after that and his chest had constricted painfully. He wasn't physically able to make a sound afterwards and therefore had given up a few years ago. He deemed himself a hopeless cause in that regard and sometimes wondered if this was a problem many grieving people experienced or if it was just him.

Nate would probably have an answer to that, but ever since the man had departed the safety of the Office for Special Operations Erics contact to him was restricted to the few times that the psychologist came to visit them – usually to council the agents after another case gone wrong. Eric himself rarely got more than a few words in with him and those were merely formalities. Not a great basis for asking someone deeply personal advice.

But Nate would be having a field day if he knew of all the insecurities and doubts Eric carried around with him. The guilt and sadness that always washed over him, threatened to drown him, whenever he tried and failed to open up about the emotions concerning his mother. He desperately wanted to, but couldn't for reasons that were unbeknownst to him. He had a feeling that one of these days they would indeed drown him.

Eric bit his bottom lip and his face twisted into a frown. He withdrew his hands from his pants pocket and wrapped them around his midsection protectively, his feet shuffling in the gravel. He tried to push the overwhelming feelings back where they came from and tuned back into his sisters' monologue.

"So that's basically everything that has happened in my life since we last visited. Nothing exciting really, I know," Emma concluded on her adventures from the previous two or three months. "I'm sure Eric would have some great stories to tell. He's always so secretive about his work so there must be some really exciting stuff happening there, but I wouldn't know. Like I said, he doesn't tell me anything about it." His sister paused and Eric smiled sadly at her words. If he could he would talk to Emma about his work, but there was a reason why they had to keep quiet about this and had told his sister so on many occasions. Fortunately, she came to accept that. It didn't mean she didn't try to get something out of him whenever she got a chance to.

"Anyways, you know how it is. Even though he doesn't talk to you, he loves you unconditionally. I know that and you know that as well. He just can't put it into words." Emma paused again and sighed loudly. "I really hope he'll feel comfortable enough to open up sometime. Only time will tell." Eric cringed at her words and hugged himself even tighter, clenching and unclenching his hands in the process with his nails digging painfully into his palms. He hated when she made him feel this way. Guilt wasn't a powerful enough word to describe what he felt.

He felt Emmas eyes on him and glanced up for a mere second to lock eyes with her. He caught a glimpse of accusation, sadness and hope in her orbs, but averted his as soon as he recognized the emotions flitting across her face. He swallowed a lump in his throat, tried and failed miserably schooling his features. Eric felt a sudden urge to move, a feeling of restlessness creeping into his bones. He took a few steps back from the grave and turned his back on her pacing the surrounding gravesides. Loosening his embrace on his midsection he drew a shaky hand through his hair, resting it in the crook of his neck and squeezing the tense muscles there.

Why was this so hard on him?

More precisely, why was this so much harder on him today than it usually was? He felt way too edgy and he knew for certain that this couldn't be logically attributed on the recent lack of sleep alone. There was a lot more to this. If only he could point his finger on it.

Eric closed his eyes, blinked them a few times upon realizing how raw and dry they felt, then closed them again and rubbed at the lids with his free hand. He stood like that for a while, oblivious to his sister saying her goodbyes to their mothers' grave and oblivious to her moving towards him and coming to a stop right next to him. He only noticed her presence when her gentle hand fell on his left shoulder and squeezed firmly. He tensed momentarily but felt himself relax once he realized it was Emma. He opened his eyes and glanced at her sideways. Her eyes were full of concern and Eric felt his insides clench a little for causing her to worry.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked in quiet apprehension. Unable to shrug his emotional slip off he simply shook his head. He couldn't trust his voice to make a reasonable sound right now much less tell her he was alright when clearly he was not. There was no use in denying it right now. Emma drew him closer with the hand that was still resting on his shoulder and hugged him tightly. Eric felt himself relax a little after a while, some of the tension leaving his body for now. "I really wish you'd open up to me," Emma whispered quietly into his shoulder, knowing fully well that he would do so anytime soon.

Her older brother didn't answer and neither had she expected him to. He only shifted his head to lay his chin on the top of her head, something he had done a lot to comfort her when they were still kids.

They stayed like that for a little longer, but Eric finally pulled back when a sudden gust of wind brushed caused them both to shiver involuntarily. Looking skywards they noticed a dense blanket of dark clouds looming dangerously above their heads. The wind had freshened up a lot and as if on cue a few singular raindrops dripped down on the siblings. One caught Eric on the middle of the right lens of his glasses, another hit Emma on the forehead. They exchanged a worried glance.

"I think it's time for us to go," Eric stated but made no inclination to get going.

Emma nodded in return and when another strong breeze caused the crown of a nearby tree bend dangerously she added, "Like, right now."

They started to move, walking at a decent speed towards the exit of the cemetery and by the time they reached the gate the rain was pouring down on them without mercy. They picked up their speed, breaking into a full out sprint in the direction of the car. Eric cursed himself mentally for leaving the car the two blocks away. Mindful not to slip on the wet pavement they maneuvered puddles that were already forming on the ground.

Eric reached the car first, opening the passenger door for Emma to get in right away, before heading to the driver side and letting himself in as well. They were both panting heavily since neither of them was used to this kind of physical workout. Eric stared through the windshield and realized that the rain was now accompanied by thunderstorm and lightning. The sky was almost black despite it only being about four o'clock in the afternoon. "That was… fun," he remarked, still a little breathless from running the two blocks.

Emma snorted. "Yeah, got the heart racing now. Good for our health." She was equally as out of breath as he was, maybe even more so.

"Definitely," Eric agreed and chuckled. "I'd rather keep in shape with surfing, though."

"Speaking of which," Emma turned to him, heartrate slowly getting back to normal. "I guess the evening at the beach falls through now."

Eric sighed defeated. "Yeah." They had made it part of their anniversary routine to finish the day off by heading to the beach. They would catch some waves and the last rays of sunshine, grab a snack and a drink at one of the beach restaurants and watch the sunset before they called it a night and got back to their respective apartments. "Doesn't sound that appealing under these conditions," he added and watched the small rivers of rainwater run down the windshield and gathering in a puddle at the wipers.

"So what do we do instead?" Emma asked, saddened as well by the fact that they couldn't go through with their routine. "Any suggestions?"

Eric watched the rain for a while longer but turned towards his sister when an idea popped into his head. Instead of telling her what he had in mind, though, he asked her a question. "When was the last time we watched a movie together?"

Emma frowned and contemplated the question for a while unsure about what he was getting at. She finally asked, "You mean like in the movies?"

"Yeah, that or at home. Anywhere really. When was the last time?"

Emma brushed a hand through her hair and shook her head after a while. "I don't remember, so it was probably ages ago."

Eric nodded in agreement, a regretful expression on his face. "That's what I thought."

"So, what is it your saying? You wanna go to the movies right now?" Emma inquired skeptically looking down on her wet clothes warily.

"Uh no. Not exactly," Eric scrunched his nose at their wet attire as well.

"Good, because I don't wanna stay in this soaked blouse for any longer than I have to, much less for two or three yours watching a movie," she answered with a grimace.

"I don't either. I was thinking more on the lines of home entertainment. There's actually something I wanted to show you for a while now," he offered mysteriously.

Emma raised her eyebrows at him and tilted her head forward just a notch. She shifted in the passenger seat and leaned towards him in anticipation. "Oh, now you got my attention."

Eric gave her a smug smile in return and narrowed his eyes slightly. "I won't tell you. It's a surprise."

His sisters' brows rose even higher. "What's with the secrecy? Don't you think you keep enough things from me already? Like your feelings? Or your work?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "That's a low blow, sister. And one that won't make me talk, I might add." He turned away from her, put his seatbelt on and turned the key in the ignition. "You'll see soon enough."

"Oh, come on, Eric! You can't make me curious and then backtrack. That's not nice!" she exclaimed with a playful pout on her lips.

He gave her a brief sideways glance and simply answered with a, "Buckle up." She complied, although reluctantly so.

"At least give me something to go on!" she demanded in a whiny tone.

Eric pulled out of the parking spot onto the wet road, maneuvering the vehicle carefully on the slippery asphalt, windscreen wipers on full speed. He ignored Emmas' plea, a small smile playing on his lips. But it vanished as soon as his sister started bugging him by punching him lightly in the shoulder and trying to get his attention. "Ow!" he burst out and shot her an angry glare. "I'm driving here!"

Emma smirked in return and watched him expectantly. "I'm waiting!" she singsonged.

Eric sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll give you a hint, but nothing more! I don't want to cause an accident because of you," he reproached his younger sister. "Just think about our vacation."

He could almost hear the gears turning in his sisters' head now. "Which one?" she asked.

"Really? On how many vacations did we go together, Emma?" he laughed. He felt an urge to throw her an incredulously amused look, but decided against it and kept his eyes on the road instead.

She frowned. "Just one." Eric nodded. "Two weeks in New York right after mom died," she noted, but came no closer to what that had to do with anything. "So what about it?"

Eric chuckled. "You have to figure that one out yourself."

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Emma cried and threw her hands up in the air, barely missing his right arm which was steering the vehicle. "How is this gonna help me?"

"My lips are sealed. If you don't figure it out, you just have to wait and see," he replied calmly. The banter between them felt nice and helped a little to get his mind off of other, more troubling matters.

"I hate you, Eric," Emma muttered under her breath and turned to the passenger side window, watching the rain.

"No you don't," the young man countered. "In fact, I'm sure you will love me as soon as you see the surprise." He grinned self-consciously.

"This better be worth the trouble, spoilsport! Otherwise you won't be laughing anymore by the end of the day. Not for a long time, I assure you," Emma warned him, but the playfulness in her voice told him that he wouldn't have to fear.

Eric laughed and steered the car onto the highway.

Like I said, I would really love to know if this sounds believable. Your input means a lot!

- S.