A/N:
I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to finish this chapter in time, but sometimes miracles happen. Miracles as in very supportive and kind people and beautiful songs with inspirational lyrics that just fit the atmosphere of the chapter. Both of the afore-mentioned and the fact that I was looking forward to writing this installment for a long time and with a very clear picture in my head made this happen much faster than I ever imagined.
Neric-fans will be happy about this particular chapter I'm sure and I hope it makes up for me not being able to post anything in a while. I will be away on vacation for two weeks starting on Wednesday. Enjoy reading!
Present
Eric was indecisive. Ever since Nate had ended their call his mind had been restless. The psychologist was right: if he wanted to get some shuteye tonight he needed a way to unwind and right now Nell was probably the best choice he had, but he couldn't help thinking that the analyst was most likely frustrated enough with him constantly changing his mind today and considering the fact that it was already close to eleven pm she was already in bed if not even deep asleep.
He paced the carpet in his living room, cell phone in his right hand. Every now and then he stopped and glanced at the mobile device and contemplated calling her but every time he brought his right index finger to hover right above Nell's name he decided against it and let his hand drop again. Coward, his inner voice scolded him and frankly, he had to agree. If he didn't dare call her soon she would be asleep for sure.
Defeated he plopped down on his couch again and propped his head up on one hand. He unlocked his phone for the umpteenth time and his finger once again lingered on the small icon that would connect him to her. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed, making up his mind. But instead of the small receiver he pressed the button with the envelope right next to it. Knowing that Nell had muted her text notifications to vibration only he quickly typed up a message.
Is it too late to ask you to come over?
His eyes roamed over the sentence again and once satisfied he hit send. At least he wouldn't wake Nell this way should she already be asleep. His hands fiddled nervously with the phone as he waited for the answer and he almost dropped it when the device vibrated less than a minute later. He double tabbed the screen where the message alert had popped up and grinned as he read the short answer.
Nope. Not too late. I'll be there in 30.
The estimated thirty minutes felt like hours to him but in reality were only twenty-three minutes. Eric knew because he'd glanced at the clock more times than he could count in the short period of time. He was antsy as to what Nell's reaction to his message this late would be. He was well-aware that he had hurt his partner's feelings by telling her off in the office earlier and even though she had agreed to come over now he wasn't entirely convinced that there wouldn't be any lingering hard feelings.
Gnawing on his fingernails he chanced another glance at the clock hanging on the wall and was startled out of his thoughts when the doorbell decided to ring the exact same moment. He jumped off the couch and padded through the hallway on bare feet. The tech looked through the peephole – a habit he had inherited right after he started working for NCIS because you could never be too careful in this line of work – and opened the door to reveal the Intelligence Analyst. "Hey," he greeted quietly.
"Hey yourself," she greeted back, keeping her voice low as well. Standing on his doormat, hands clasped in front of her she waited for him to move out of the way so she could enter his apartment. When Eric failed to do so she cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows expectantly at him. "Are you going to let me in?" she asked with sweet innocence.
Eric startled out of his trance and felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Oh right. Sorry," he apologized and grinned sheepishly as he took a few steps and opened the door a little wider for her in the process. Nell indicated a small curtsey and stepped into the hall with graceful movements. She took off her shoes and waited for him to close the door and lead the way to his living room. The redhead had been to his apartment a few times before and she knew her way around it, but with his strange behavior in the past two days she didn't want to intrude his personal space by taking charge. But when the blonde shuffled towards the living room and into the adjoining kitchen Nell was right on his heels.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked over his shoulder and winced at how the words slurred together. He knew it was due to the lack of sleep, but that didn't make the sound any more pleasant.
"Whatever goes well with these," Nell answered, oblivious to the thoughts running through his head and held out a box of Oreos for him to see. Eric glanced in her direction to see what she was talking about and couldn't help the genuine smile spreading on his tired features.
"You were prepared for this," he noted as realization dawned on him and chuckled lightly.
Nell nodded. "A promise is a promise," she reminded him cheerfully. She hesitated for a moment, briefly lowering her head to study her feet and then admitted. "I kind of expected a call from you in spite of what you said earlier." She leaned against the breakfast bar with her back, grasping the edge of the wood with her hands and crossed her legs as she waited for his reaction.
He frowned and looked perplexed. "You did?" he asked and shook his head at his own stupid comment. "Technically I didn't call, I just texted you…" he trailed off when Nell raised one eyebrow at him pointedly making him blush and backtrack. "But it doesn't really matter if I called or texted you. What matter is that you expected me to contact you tonight even though I told you I wasn't feeling up to…"
"Beale!" Nell resisted the urge to chuckle or even laugh as he rambled on. His cheeks reddened even more and the analyst had to admit that he looked kind of cute when he was nervous like that. "Get to the point already," she urged lightheartedly.
Eric sighed and his shoulders dropped defeated. "Point is: how would you know about me calling," he drew a face and corrected himself, "texting you tonight when I didn't even know I would?"
Nell looked away for a brief moment and then brushed the question off with the shrug of one shoulder and a simple, "Call it woman's intuition." Her voice was casual but the young man knew her enough to know that it was only a half-truth. Before he had a chance to call her out on it, though, she changed the topic. "So what choices do I have in terms of drinks?" She pushed herself away from the bar and strode over to the fridge, her hand resting on the handle. "Any beer?"
Eric froze for a split second and studied her with strange puzzlement. "Uh," he grunted in discomfort, "not that I'm aware off," he answered slowly. Trying to cover up his discomfort he added, "Since when does beer go well with Oreos?" he asked, his utter confusion plain obvious in his question.
Nell smirked at him. "Oh, it doesn't." She opened the refrigerator door and scanned its meager contents but came up empty. "I just thought it might help you unwind a little, maybe even lull your senses enough to actually get some shuteye tonight." She closed the fridge again and looked at him. "Doesn't matter though, there's no beer in here."
"Told you so," Eric replied wearily and turned away so Nell wouldn't see the panicked expression that was most likely written all over his face. His sneaky partner was able to catch a glimpse of his suddenly pale complexion though and frowned.
"You okay, Eric?" she asked, curious about what had caused the color to drain from his face.
"Aside from being beyond exhausted, you mean? Yeah," he brushed her off and ignored the worried frown adorning her face. "Drinks," he said out of the blue, steering the conversation back to its original topic. "I don't have much to offer aside from soda, water and tea. Or milk if you decide to go all Santa on me," he rattled off and stopped as she raised her eyebrows and twisted her mouth in an amused grin. "What? What's so funny?"
Nell had a hard time keeping herself from barking out a laugh. "Go all Santa on you? Really?" she asked incredulously, trying and failing to hide her delight.
Unsure of what was so funny about that he elaborated, "milk and cookies? The stuff you leave for Santa on Christmas Eve? While personally I wouldn't leave Oreos for Santa simply because they are too good even for him they still count as cookies, you know?" Now Nell couldn't restrain herself anymore and the laughter just bubbled out of her. Eric just stared at her in bewilderment. "Nell?" he asked tentatively and when she didn't stop he dropped his hands in frustration.
The laughs finally subsided and the petite redhead reached out to touch his forearm. His confused look met her joyful one. "Sorry, Eric but you're just so sweet when you let your mouth run."
"Gee, thanks. Forget I said anything," he mumbled irritated. Turning away from her he added, "Now what do you want to drink?"
Nell retracted her hand from his arm and redirected the question. "What are you having? And please don't say milk and cookies." She smirked and watched with amusement as he squared his jaw in annoyance.
It took all his willpower – and he didn't have much of that left with how tired he felt – not to react to her teasing. He took a deep breath before answering, "Uh no. I'm drinking tea. Need something to sooth my stomach after all the coffee I've been drinking today." To emphasize his words he grabbed the kettle and filled it with water from the sink.
The analyst nodded. She could attest to the fact that he had been having more than enough of the bitter beverage to have it corrode his insides. If he had been drinking any more of it he would have given himself an ulcer for sure. "I'll have some tea as well then. What blends do you have?"
Eric turned the kettle on and turned to open the cupboard for her to take a look inside. The cabinet was filled with all kinds of teas: herbal, fruit and mixed blends. Nell stared in fascination at the impressive selection and was momentarily too stunned to say anything. After a minute of staring with her mouth agape he asked, "Find something you like?"
Nell averted her eyes from the cupboard for a brief moment to lock eyes with him. "Yeah, I'll have the…" she stopped herself and chuckled with embarrassment. "Actually, I don't know what to choose. Your collection is overwhelming. There're too many goodies in there."
Eric beamed at the fact that he had his witty partner at a loss for once. It wasn't often that he could cherish a victory like that. He offered a confident smile. "How about I help you with that?" She nodded in agreement and waved for him to go ahead. "My favorites are the elderberry-Echinacea blend, the licorice-cinnamon blend and this one," he pulled out a lemon-ginger-honey blend for her to see, "which is what I'll have now."
Squinting and biting her bottom lip in contemplation Nell finally pointed to the first tea he had mentioned. "I'll have this one. Curious about the Echinacea."
Eric nodded approvingly. "Good choice. It's delicious." The redhead watched as the tech opened another cabinet, retrieved two large tea cups and busied himself with preparing the tea. "You want some sugar or honey in there?" he directed at her.
"No, thanks." She pushed herself away from the breakfast bar and strolled to the tea cabinet, opened the door and inspected the collection with a thoughtful expression. "So," she started and turned around to face him again, crossing her arms in front of her leisurely. "I never really figured you for a tea lover," she admitted. "Is Hetty rubbing off on you?" she mused.
"Actually no. Kathy did, though," Eric conceded nonchalantly but froze when he realized what he had let slip. Nell didn't know of Katherine and probably would jump to the wrong conclusions. He grimaced and held his breath only to release it when his partner confirmed his apprehension.
"Kathy?" Nell blurted out sounding a little sour if not jealous. "Ex-girlfriend of yours?"
Eric pinned her with an unreadable look. "Family friend." The Intelligence Analyst scrutinized him in return, trying to detect if he was lying to her and the Tech Operator resisted the urge to squirm. "She's sixty-five in case you're wondering. I've known her all my life and she's more like an aunt to me than anything else." Nell still dissected him and when he couldn't take it anymore he snapped. "Would you stop that already? You're making me very uncomfortable here and I can't take that with the little sleep I had."
She smirked and tortured him just a little longer before finally easing up on him. "Okay. I believe you."
He heaved a sigh in relief. "Thank you." The kettle reminded them of its presence in that moment and Eric was grateful for the distraction. The blonde filled the mugs to the rim with hot water and added a spoon of honey to his already sweet tea blend. "Wanna grab the Oreos? Plates are in the cabinet farthest to the right, bottom shelf."
Nell went to grab a plate and their snack, carrying it over to the living room chair. Eric followed her with the mugs, set her cup on the table and settled himself on the couch with his own cradled in both hands. Nell nestled on the other end of the couch, leaving him enough space to put his feet up in case he wanted to and in case he didn't feel comfortable with her shuffling too close. They sat in companionable silence for a while, occasionally blowing or sipping at their tea until the redhead couldn't restrain her curiosity anymore. His earlier reaction to her rummaging through his fridge for beer had made her suspicious.
She leaned forward to set her mug down on the coffee table, grabbed an Oreo from the plate and twirled it around in her right hand. "Just out of curiosity: why don't you have any beer in the house?" she asked him innocently and took a bite of the cookie. Eric almost choked on his tea at the out of the blue question and coughed a couple of times. Nell immediately sprang into action and clapped him on the back gently. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?"
He took a shaky breath and nodded. "I'm fine," he choked out and coughed again. A crease appeared on her forehead in worry and he sighed. "It's just that I…" he stopped momentarily to gather his thoughts. "Alcohol and sleep deprivation don't mix well for me. Trust me," he offered as an explanation. His eyes clouded with memories and he desperately hoped it was enough for her to let the topic slide.
He had no such luck though. "I sense a story there, Wolfram," she teased and straightened her back. Eric had definitely piqued her interest now. "Care to elaborate?" Another Oreo found its way into her hand and to her mouth.
Eric swallowed past the lump in his throat and looked at her with a strange expression. "Nope, not really," he stonewalled none too gently and took another sip of his tea, grimacing at the way too sweet taste. He had overdone it on the honey this time. Glancing at her for a brief second he caught the hurt flickering over her face and instantly felt bad. He let out a defeated sigh and caved in. "It's somewhat related to everything that's been going on in my life right now. But I didn't ask you to come over to talk about it tonight. I'm sorry, Nell."
The Intelligence Analyst took a deep breath and looked at him somberly. Her voice was quiet and grave when she asked, "Why did you call me over then?"
The straightforwardness of her words made him winced ruefully. He untangled his legs from under him and scooted to the edge of the couch. After setting his mug down next to hers he set both feet down on the carpet below and propped his elbows on his knees, his head hanging low. Nell watched as his upper body rose with deep breaths and she was suddenly dreadful of the answer that he would give her.
The Technical Operator was immersed in his own thoughts. How would Nell react to him telling her off yet again? Would she be angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Would she feel abandoned with his lack of trust in her? Nate's words rang in his ears loud and clear, reminding him that while she most likely wouldn't like it she would understand and be there for him none the less. But even knowing that this was Nate's profession and that he could trust his assessment was barely any consolation for him.
He rubbed his forehead where he felt a headache building and then pinched the bridge of his nose before heaving a deep calming sigh. When he finally answered the younger woman's question his words were so quiet that she had to strain her ears to hear them. "I didn't want to be alone tonight." Nell raised her eyes and then furrowed her brows and blinked a couple times. Opening her mouth she tried to come up with something to say in return but came up empty.
The silence dragged out for a long moment and Eric interpreted it as confusion on her end and continued in an attempt to clarify things for her without actually revealing too much about what was going on. "I don't want to be alone tonight because that means I'd have to face the nightmares again and I don't think I can handle them, again, which means I'd probably end up not sleeping at all, again, which means I'd be even more of a walking dead tomorrow if that's even possible. If you don't want to stay, that's fine. I-I can't keep you here against your will after all, but I preferred it if you stayed because if you leave I would have to deal with all this on my own and I can't deal with it all on my own. Again." He finally stopped and sucked in a shaky breath, feeling hollow inside.
Nell gasped at him, unsure as to how to react to everything he had just admitted. She couldn't remember seeing this side of him before and it scared her to see him this way. Yes, she had seen him in situations where his nerves and emotions got the better of him and yes, he had the tendency to be overly dramatic at times, but she was certain that he wasn't overreacting this time. The opposite seemed to be the case, instead. Her heart ached for him and she wished nothing more than to know what was eating at him while simultaneously reminding herself that he didn't need her pushing him right now. Right now he needed someone to silently support him through whatever it was. Right now he needed a friend. And she was more than happy to be one to him.
Still not saying anything she scooted closer to the edge of the couch and to him, planting her left foot on the floor and bending the other slightly to close the distance between her and Eric until she was mere inches away from him. She reached out to touch his back and realized that he was trembling ever so slightly. Her hand moved further away until her hand reached his far side and she curled her fingers around it and gently pulled him closer. He stiffened for a brief second, but then relented and let her hug him. "It's okay, Eric. I don't want to leave. You don't have to deal with this on your own," she assured him.
He looked up and his lips curled in a sincere smile. "Thank you, Nell," he whispered sincerely. The relief of her acceptance and sympathy towards his need of her quiet company made him feel drained and drowsy all of a sudden and he leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch, drawing his legs up as well. The analyst followed him with her eyes until he had settled himself in a comfortable position and then moved to a semi-reclined posture next to him, her right side just touching his left. Her hand found his and she encircled it, holding it tight and gently caressing its back with her thumb. He squeezed briefly in return then loosened the grip.
After what seemed like ages of them lying there without saying anything but was in reality only five minutes Nell noticed that the strain of the muscles in his hand and the adjoining arm touching her side had eased and his breathing had evened out. She carefully moved her head to her right to take a closer look and saw that his head lulled to the side and his eyes were closed. A smile flitted over her features at the sight and a feeling of joyful contentment flooded her insides. Eric felt comfortable enough in her presence to fall asleep in spite of the struggles he was going through. It warmed her to the core.
She let go of his hand and shuffled so she was lying on her side, careful not to jostle and wake him up again. She reached out and carefully took off his glasses that had bent at an unhealthy angle. The redhead gazed at him in amazement and for the first time realized how young he actually looked without them on. She knew he was turning thirty later that year, but without the spectacles he didn't look much older than someone in their early to mid-twenties. It also revealed his remarkably handsome facial features that somehow were disrupted by the corrective eyewear and she wondered why he wasn't contemplating contact lenses instead.
It was her bladder that reminded her that she couldn't stare at him forever and had her get up with a frustrated sigh. She dared another glance at him once she was standing, wondering if it was wise to have him sleep in the rather uncomfortable looking position, but she couldn't bring herself to wake him up again, now that he finally seemed to have found his peace. Her eyes searched the living room and landed on a blanket on the recliner across from her. Nell laid the glasses she was still holding on the coffee table and grabbed the quilt, spreading it out over him. She'd let him sleep for now, but she would stay awake all through the night if she had to. They were partners after all and partners looked out for each other no matter what.
I hope the last part isn't too much of a resemblance to the Densi-moment early in season five, but it seemed fitting and I actually think that Nell's mere presence would be enough to put Eric's mind at rest for once.
Let me know what you think.
- S.