Thursday, March 22nd

Do they not understand that sleep doesn't work on the restless soul?
Do they not know that slumber cannot alleviate stress?
Sleep is simply procrastination,
Too "tired" to do it so I'll do it tomorrow.
When I could be staying up being productive
I'm forced to waste time in unneeded slumber.
Stress only lifts when what is stressing you is gone,
And you can't complete a task when you're sawing logs.
I admit that I am tired,
I know that I am stressed.
But my stress would leave
If I could just abandon sleep
And do something worthwhile instead.

Dear Journal, lately I've gotten into the art of procrastination. And as I push everything back, the stress inside me builds. My mom thinks I just need sleep, but I don't need nor want sleep. I need more time. And what better place to get time from than from the times I "need" to sleep. And that's where we are now. Me writing in my journal by flashlight light. Still procrastinating my history homework. Oh well. I can always do it tomorrow morning, right?

Okay, I have a problem.

A problem I'll fix tomorrow.

In other news, my mom's been taking me to my guitar lessons. She still thinks that it's a waste of my time, but she says that since I started it, I should be able to finish it. And so I get to finish this year of guitar. Then I'm done, she says.

I love my parents. Okay, I try to love my parents. But it's getting harder and harder. They make me wear pink. They are taking away my guitar after this year. They are trying to teach me to act like a lady. Because that will work on me!

Well, it's 9:30 now. 45 minutes past my bedtime. Take that, parents!

Till next time,

(Now) Sleepy Sam.

Saturday, April 21st

The stars in the sky leave me awestruck
The full moon calms me
The wind whistling through the tress branches
Makes me smile,
And the chilly wind feels good.
As I listen to the crickets chirp
And feel the dirt beneath the shoes
I realize that I truly love the open sky,
The stars, and the dreams.
I love the night.

I've always kind of known I was a night person. But now I know for sure. I studied myself for fun today. I discovered I was in a TERRIBLE mood in the morning, but by the evening I was calm and happy. Definitely a night person.

Today, I have good news. My grandma showed me her photo albums today. I know it might seem like much, but considering the lady has been almost completely silent in the past half a year grieving her husband, it was great. She just asked me if I wanted to see some photos out of the blue when I got home from school. I said sure.

She pulled out this huge book of pictures of her when she was younger, her friends, her family, extended family, and even a few of her and grandpa. And she didn't cry. When I asked her if she was ok, she just told me that she had finally accepted his death. I think she's starting to move on.

I sure hope so. My grandma was a really fun person before grandpa died, and I hope she's starting to revert back to her former self. It'd make it a lot happier for the entire family.

Tuesday, May 29th

FINALLY!

Today was my last day at Amity Park Elementary Academy! No more private school! For sixth grade I get to go to the only middle school in all of Amity Park- Amity Park Middle. Creative name, huh?

Maybe I'll make friends. Hopefully I'll get good grades. And great teachers. And fun classes. I know my hopes are high, but hey, a girl can dream. Besides, IT'S SUMMER! A time for rest and relaxation… and going on my computer for hours on end.

Three months for working on becoming Goth. Three months figuring out how to sizzle instead of sweat. Don't ask me what that means, I have no idea. I just read it online. I have to read more! This is the summer that I go from aspiring Goth to complete Goth. And I have a plan.

1. Save up money. Shouldn't be too hard, with my allowance. 2. Get a ride to the mall that doesn't involve my parents. 3. Get Gothic clothes. 4. Sneak them into my closet. 5. Put them in my backpack in the morning. 6. Change into them at school. 7. Change back at the end of the day.

Simple enough, right?

I think I just jinxed myself.

The hardest part will probably be getting the ride to the mall. Seeing as my parents don't have regular, normal jobs, they are at home pretty much all of the time, seeing as home is where they run the family business. Maybe I can ask Grandma for a ride…

She and I have gotten pretty close lately. Two weeks ago she offered to start driving me to my guitar lessons, and, while it was somewhat awkward at first, we had fun. Afterwards, we went home and made some homemade (soymilk) ice cream. Apparently her motto is "I can die at any time, so I may as well eat dessert first." We had dinner later with my parents, and didn't tell them about our sugary snack.

We did that this past Tuesday too. I think this is the start of a new tradition- guitar lessons and homemade ice cream- but… when I call it that I feel a little like I'm betraying Uncle Jem and our tradition. Our tradition lasted so long, and it seems rude to just replace it like that. But I think Uncle Jem would want me to have fun with Grandma, and I'm happy (and I'm sure he would be too) that she is finally recovering from Grandpa's death.

Moving On
This doesn't mean that I'll forget you
This doesn't mean I don't want you back
And this doesn't change the fact
That I love you.
I just won't be able to love you in person.
I'll have to live on my memories and mementos
Instead of seeing your face in my life.
But that doesn't mean I won't remember the fun times
And just because I'm having fun with someone else
Doesn't mean I forgot about us.
It just means I'm loving you in my memory
While making new memories with someone else.
I'm just moving on.
But not forgetting; I will never forget.

That poem is kinda double sided. On one hand, it's about Grandma moving on from grieving for Grandpa, but not forgetting Grandpa. On the other, it's about me remembering the fun times I had with Uncle Jem while creating new memories with Grandma.

Well, that's all for today.

Happy Summer, Journal!

See ya,

Sam.

AN: I hope you enjoyed these poems. Reviews, favorites and follows are greatly appreciated. Until next time,

InsanityIsClariy