CHAPTER 8
Emily's POV
It's been a week since the whole thing happened at the Grove and Ali still hasn't been to school nor has she answered any of the girls' texts or phone calls. I know I shouldn't care but part of me is worried. I was almost tempted to call her myself, but I didn't know what I would say if she answered. I know the girls are worried too, even Mr. D is unavailable, probably out of town for something…but she's all they've been talking about since last Thursday, and she's probably why Spencer called us all to meet her at her house, a search party for Alison DiLaurentis…again, I don't know if I can do that again, but she probably misses some attention and is waiting somewhere for us to find her, playing another one of her infamous games.
I get to Spencer's house and see that Hanna and Aria are already there.
"Hey how'd you guys get here so fast, I thought we were coming over at," but I stop midsentence because of the stern look on Spencer's face as she motions to her sofa and says I should take a seat. Something about their demeanor is off but I sit down. What is going on. Why aren't Hanna and Aria looking at me?
"Spencer, what – "
"Em, just listen to us out before you say anything, you need to hear this: you're our friend okay, and we love you, but Ali is our friend too and we love her too"
Why was she stating the obvious, "Spencer, I know you guys want to find her, and I'm okay with that, but can't we wait until tomorrow, when it's Friday? I mean,"
"Emily that's not why I called you, I mean of course we all want to find Ali, and we're okay with tomorrow after school too but…"
"But….," I started, but when no one continued, I did, "Then why DID you want me to come over?"
I was starting to get nervous, especially since the other two seemed to fidget in their seats uncomfortably. Silence was especially not a strong suit for Hanna.
Spencer took a breath and looked at Hanna and Aria who gave them a nod of support."Well, it's about you and Ali," but I wasn't going to hear anything about me AND Ali.
"What about me and Alison, there's nothing to talk about…"
"Yes there is Em, and you know it. We ALL know Ali is not the only one suffering from your…your…"
And this was one of the very few times I have seen our brainiest friend at a lost for words.
"Your breakup," Hanna interjected, "We think you two need to talk it out and make it right. It's not right that the three of us have to be in the middle. We can't bring her up when we're with you, and we sure can't mention your name to her, or else she shuts down and
" You think we need to make up? We were never together to make me ignoring her a 'breakup,' because that would imply that somewhere along the lines, she actually had feelings for me…I mean seriously, you think that too?"
I said this as I looked at Aria who had been sitting there in silence the whole time.
"Yeah Em, it's hard to keep watching what we say and practically scheduling certain times and different days where any one of us can hang out with one of you two, it's not just hard for you and Ali, it's hard for all of us."
Hard?! There was nothing about me protecting myself that should hard to anyone, "Hard? Who said any of this was hard for me? I'm fine, so long as she keeps her distance, I'll be okay, I can't believe-"
"Oh would you please, shut up Emily!"
I was shocked at what Hanna had said and then she let it all out.
"Em, when are you gonna cut the crap and stop lying to yourself? We all see it. You putting up this tough I don't need anyone mask is bullshit, we're your best friends, and we can see right through it. I never thought anyone would have to stick up for Ali, other than her but I am! Stop acting like you don't give a damn and get over the fact that we were wrong, she wasn't A and she has changed!"
"Hanna," I tried to say in my calmest voice, but I couldn't get anything but her name out.
'No Em, you don't say anything, just listen for once okay? I didn't just set up a 'trick' for you and Ali last week, ok? She called me, practically crying, after you didn't return any of her calls, and she asked for my help, for my advice, she practically begged, she was so desperate. She wanted to know what she would have to do just so you would look at her again, let alone talk to her or even acknowledge that she stillexists. She needs you Em, she's changed and she wants you to see that. I know I gave you hell for trusting her so soon when she got back, but it's not like that anymore, there's no more A. Ali has changed and she just wants to talk to you again, and have us all together without you giving her the murder glare. Em? Em? Are you even listening?!"
Oh I was listening; I was only staring at the laces of my shoes so I didn't have to look up. Hanna was right; I couldn't keep it up anymore. I couldn't fight the urge to look at her in class or admire the outfit she had on, or imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume. There were so many times where I wanted to accept her calls and text her back, so many times during the week that I wanted to drop everything and look for her. I didn't know why, but I felt the heat rush to my face and my vision blurred, I could feel the tears welling up and it was too late to hide them so I stood up from where I was standing to leave. I couldn't admit that Hanna was right when I hadn't even admitted it to myself lately so I did the only thing I had become good at these past two years, and lied, I lied about my feelings, so i said in a voice low enough so they could all barley hear me "so that's it, I'm the bad guy now, after all she's done to us. Wow, she's fooled you all."
And with that, I grabbed my purse and keys, left without a goodbye and drove to the liquor store.