Getting up to Rachel's apartment was a piece of cake. The receptionist was probably the most unobservant person in the world so sedating her was a no-brainer. The halls were clear and Rachel's name was listed on the call box. The good Lord could not have made this any easier. In fact, the only hard part was willing himself to open to door. As soon as he got on the floor, his ears were berated by an off-key rendition of Alice Cooper's Maniacs In Love. Sure enough, Rachel was having a private karaoke session. Well, hopefully private, or she had some truly twisted friends who made him look like a decent human being if they would let her keeping shrieking like that. He thought of knocking, but decided against that for two reasons: she probably wouldn't hear, and it would be too much fun to barge in on this scene. He pushed the door open and burst out laughing.

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To say that Rachel was mortified was the understatement of the century. She, Gotham's Asst. D.A., had just been caught singing, badly, old 80's rock songs while standing on her couch like a child, dressed in Harvey's old baseball jersey and her underwear. Had her friends caught her, this could have been a funny situation. If Harvey had caught her, he would have laughed, she would be embarrassed, and then he would make a witty comment to make her feel better. Even if it had been a colleague, it would have been forgettable. But no, she had to be caught like this by THE JOKER! Here she was, someone he was supposed to fear, someone he was already blackmailing (in a sense) being caught in a very vulnerable state. This just sucked no matter how you looked at it.

She paused her I-pod and got off the couch, pulling her shirt down as far as it would go. Thankfully it was too long, but it was still shorter than she would have liked. She have contemplated running and grabbing some pants, but figured that it would be bad to just walk away from the Joker. She waited for him to stop laughing, but he had really gotten a kick out of the sight of her. Tears were beginning to roll down his face and make the black circles around his eyes smear. She felt her face burn red.

"Alright, it wasn't that funny!" she finally yelled in her defense. He nodded and calmed himself down, dabbing at the lingering moisture.

"My apologizes Miss Dawes, but that was the most painful sight I have ever seen. If I ever wanted to take over Gotham, I would just need to broadcast that sight. Everyone would die laughing," he teased her. She flushed an even deeper shade of red.

"So, have you come to kidnap me for whatever you had planned?" she asked figuring that would be the only reason he would come. He sighed and shook his head.

"My dear Rachel, we must work on your conversation skills. But to answer your question, no I am not. I am merely returning your call. You stopped by my place, I figured I would repay it with a little visit of my own." Rachel let out a breath she had been holding. She still had time.

"Uh, have a seat," she indicated for him to sit down. If he wanted to play the game of civility, she would play along. She sat down, but found that the shirt was just too short. No matter now much she pulled it down, it would not go over her legs, so she sank as deep as possible into the couch and crossed her arms firmly across her lap. As it turned out, the Joker was not too well informed on civil protocol. When visiting a new acquaintance's house, you sat in a chair, or on a different couch as the hostess, not right next to them! Rachel was right against the far arm, there was plenty of room for him to keep some distance between them, but he chose to sit only a foot from her! She pressed herself as far into the arm as possible.

XXXXXXXXX

He smirked at her obvious discomfort. Not only was she barely clothed, but he was too close for normal protocol. It would help add to her disliking of him.

"Well, I do believe congratulations are in order. Congratulations, and do pass along my happy wishes to dear Harvey next time you see him," he requested. Rachel murmured 'thanks' and said she would though they both knew she would not. "Though, I must say," he continued on a darker, more thoughtful note, "that this hardly seems to the time to be committing yourself to one guy. Who knows, Harvey might not be around that much longer." At least not the Harvey she knew. Rachel paled at his comment.

"You won't hurt him! Batman has always foiled your plans before hand. He'll save Harvey before you can get to him," she argued, though her tone said she was still trying to convince herself of that. He smiled menacingly and wet his lips.

"Don't count on it Beautiful. Speaking of Batboy, how did he take your engagement? That must have killed him, knowing his wonderful Rachel has given up on him. And are you ready to fully commit yourself to just one man for the rest of your life? I mean, as a woman of... what 28, you've hardly experienced the world. What if Mr. Right comes along in a year or so? What are you going to do, break it off or sneak around behind the hubby's back?" Now he was just winding her up and the look on her face, a mix of shock, outrage, and fear, was just too funny to resist. This was clearly a weak spot for her, something that probably knotted her insides with guilt. He loved being able to read people so easily!

"I... I'll have you know Mr. Joker, that I am a very... honest and thoughtful person! If I were to ever lose the feelings I now have for Mr. Dent then I would be frank with him and save us many years of unhappiness. I would never sneak around his back. And before you say that I have been doing anything with Batman, well I will have you know that there is nothing there. Yes, we dated at one point, but I broke it off. He took it very graciously and gives us his blessing. Besides, there are plenty of women younger than myself who get married and remain so for many decades. Please, re-frame from speaking on things that you know not about!" she half yelled at him. He chuckled a bit.

"Oh Rachel," he sighed, putting an arm around her much to her displeasure, "you are so young and naive. You've probably lived a sheltered life, and here comes Harvey Dent, the image of safty. He may look safe, but eventually he'll bore you. Someday, you'll long for a little excitement," he told her, running his fingers into her hair. She froze, and he pulled her closer to him. He leaned in and felt her stop breathing, confusion etched in her every feature. "Believe me, I know. Young fiery women like you get stuck with a dud and end up falling into the hands of exciting, though dangerous, men like... like me. It'll happen to you too, someday," he murmured in her ear. Rachel's brain finally caught up with her and she pushed him away and moved over to the farthest chair. He laughed again, darker than the ones before. She was so much fun to play with. She was wound up so quickly, but subdued with the simplest of things. It made him laugh. He was thankful for this. If she was not so easily distracted it would have been hard for him to get the tracking device on her. It had not gone on as easily as he had planned. Turns out in needed to be positioned totally flat against her head, and if he had not been able to look at it as closely as he had... Oh well, it was on now and he doubted that Rachel cleaned thoroughly behind her ears so she would not find the little dot now residing there.

"Sir," she addressed him coldly. Apparently she had not appreciated his little game. "If you simply came by to offer your blessings, then you have done so, and I ask you to leave. If not, then please get to the point quickly." Oho, this little puppy had teeth! Defiantly not the sweet little girl she had been ten minutes ago.

"Well, if you insist. So, have you told Harvey about our secret?" he asked bluntly. Rachel stared at him. He was good. She had believed he was already listening in on her! Perfect. Well, she might have a false sense of security now and feel she could tell all now. Good thing he had figured out how to fit a tiny radio in there. He could get some good blackmail material for later.

"Of course not! I mean... you didn't already know?" she asked curiously. He shrugged.

"My thugs can't follow you everywhere of course. I just wanted to make sure. Being the terrible liar that you are, I knew I would know be able to tell if you weren't telling me everything. I want to make sure that it stays that way. I swear to you Miss Dawes, if you tell anyone, I will know, and I will change everything so that no one knows what will happen. There will be no heads up and you may have condemned him to a worse fate," he threatened hollowly. No matter what she told him, it would not change anything, but it would add to an amazing guilt trip later! "Do you understand?" Rachel, her eyes wide, nodded vigorously.

"I-I understand," she confirmed verbally. His expression lightened and he hopped up.

"Excellent. Well, I will go now. If you ever plan on getting that record label, you definately need to practice more. Good night Miss Dawes," and without another word, he left the room.

A/N: So, I generally do not like posting two chapters in one day, but I was so excited about this chapter I just had to. I've never actually written a chapter in this short amount of time. It usually takes a whole day to get a chapter out. Hope you enjoyed!