AN: Look who's back!

Tuesday, June 18th:

It's been exactly a week since I've written in here, and I've read a novel in that time. Specifically, Lord of the Flies. I'm not going to spoil anything, (Can books read? Ah well, I'm not even sure if I'm addressing Journal or The Reader anymore...) but it was pretty good. It might seem crazy that I'm reading over break, but the book looked so good! Lots of kids stranded on an island... I knew some were going to die and some were going to lose their morals, but getting attached to them anyways made the heartbreak all that more FUN!

I wonder what I'd do if I was stranded on an island with little hope of rescue and a snotty choir "director" who thinks MEAT! and nothing else. I doubt I'd survive.

The book does bring up a question in my mind, however. The value of human life. I've contemplated it before, but now I'm wondering something new. People always say killing is wrong, even if the one you're killing isn't exactly innocent. A life for a life isn't right. But what about a life for lives? If killing one could save three, save three hundred, save three million, would it be right?

Honestly, I say yes. And so, yes, I think the death penalty is the right punishment for anyone who has killed more than one person. But... what about injuries? What if they are actually innocent and framed? What if it was an accident? Do they still deserve death? I don't know.

An eye for an eye,
They say isn't right.
But what of an eye
For two or three or five?
Will your morals hold fast then,
When killing one can save ten?
Is it ever right for someone to die?
Are their morals wrong or are mine?

Wednesday, June 19th:

Okay. I'm an idiot.

I was just vacuuming my room, when I hit my desk. My computer fell, and all the glass flew off.

Did I just break the fourth wall? Nah. Don't be an idiot, Sam. Even if there is a fourth wall, it certainly wouldn't be my computer screen. It'd probably be across from the Fentons', you know, that empty lot that only really serves to give a view of their kooky house.

Man, but if I did break the fourth wall... it does not bode well. I was doing some Goth research before I started vacuuming, and when the screen shattered, the article on it was about something I absolutely do not want coming into our world.

Ghosts.

I really hope that- NO! Don't be ridiculous, Sam. Even if ghosts do exist, they aren't going to come to our world through my computer screen. Enough of this!

New topic.

I'm beginning to suspect some little thing inside me is just a bit broken. Danny invited me- and Tucker- to his house to watch another movie, and I realize that even if this isn't the first time (more like the fourth or fifth) getting invited over, it's still weird. Maybe it's from all the years I spent alone with hardly any friends, but someone wanting me to be around them... it's actually a bit hard to believe. And my paranoia kicks in... what if they're just taking pity on me, what if they did like me and don't anymore and don't want to be mean... STOP!

You know what? I'm thinking way too into way too many things today. I'll talk to you later.

Thursday, June 20th:

Journal,

I'm still flipping out, an hour and a half later. Like I said, I went over to Danny's. And he was on the verge of flipping out too.

His parents made a huge breakthrough on proving ghosts actually exist. Their biggest breakthrough since they tried making a portal in college, apparently. I just can't believe it. From what I've heard, they've got their ghost portal up so much that they can detect "ecto energy" near it, even if it's not opening up yet.

Jazz said that no one really knew for sure if ghosts existed before then. She said she herself doesn't believe, but, still... right after my computer breaks, this happens?

Okay, I reread that and I really sound stupid, don't I? Of course it's a coincidence, there can't possibly be a connection between my laptop breaking while a ghost article is displayed and this new breakthrough. Can there?

The logical art of my brain says no, and yet, part of me hopes this is true. That ghosts' existence is my doing. Because that means I'm no longer plain boring old Sam no one notices, but the enigmatic, cataclysmic Sam who unleashed ghosts upon this world.

Well there are no ghosts yet, but what if I did unleash them? I mean, yeah, I'd be pretty notorious, at least in my own mind, but I'll have leashed ghosts on humanity, then someone would have to deal with them, and it'd likely end up being Danny's parents, and while his mom is competent his dad is less than so, and oh my gosh I just doomed the world.

RIP World,

Sam.

AN: Sorry for the late update. Seriously just trying to get some general motivation for life. Review!

InsanityIsClarity