***Sorry for the wait everyone, holidays are around the corner and my only excuse for taking a while to update: well shit, LIFE JUST HAPPENS lol. Last chapter's reviews were a little over the place. I was called out for' being a rookie and going for the cliché melodrama that sooo many fanfiction authors have'. To that guest, this is my first story and well yes I am a rookie. I'm young, you'd be surprised at how young, so pardon me for not meeting your standards, go and read another story then, it won't hurt my feelings. But to the rest of you, I love you all and still thank you for the support!

Read, review and above all, I hope you enjoy.***

"Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win"

Chapter 30:

No One's POV

"I don't know why she would just run, we were supposed to talk about college and I was going to tell her tonight about my trip to California and, and…" but Emily couldn't continue, she buried her face in her arms and let the sobs take over her body, shaking even her bed, where she sat, her knees curled up into her chest, trying to figure out where the hell Ali went. She tried her phone, tried Ali's house, she told herself Ali was playing another game, or she went to go get food and would be back to surprise her.

But deep down Emily had known when Ali didn't join her in the shower that something was wrong, she knew it as soon as she walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with silence that something was wrong. She called Ali's name but when she walked into her room and seen their clothes sitting on the bed and the tickets were dropped onto the floor, all three of them, that Ali had jumped to conclusions and did what she had done before: run and didn't look back.

Emily had tried to look for her but she ended up back in her room, dropped to her knees, crying as her tears spilled over onto the ticket she was hiding for so long. When she could control her breathing enough to speak, she called Hanna and within 5 minutes, all three girls were at her house, practically breaking down the doors and coming in to comfort her. So here she was, a wet mess, salt stained t-shirt, red and swollen eyes, beating herself up for not telling Alison the truth sooner, for trying to postpone their talk. Spencer, Aria and Hanna were surrounding her, rubbing her back and holding her in their arms.

"Well how did she find the ticket Em?" Spencer asked her friend, always the one to try and solve the puzzle.

Em, to the best of her abilities, guessed exactly how Ali had found the plane ticket.

Aria stood and took the ticket from Spencer's hand, "Emily, you're going to California? The day after graduation?"

Hanna released her arm from around Em's back and stared down at her friend, "Em, I thought you didn't know where you wanted to go to college yet? Why didn't you tell us you were leaving so soon?"

The sobbing had transformed into a steady stream of sniffling and shaking breaths. Em could feel her heart cracking, the patchwork she had done the last time Ali left was falling apart and each shard that fell cut everything in its path, tearing her up from the inside out. She was broken over and over again and now she felt as though she was drained and her heart was just a pile of crushed memories and stolen kisses, beating sharply, throbbing painfully against her chest, against her rib cage. Her body threatened to fall apart, barely being held together by what little strands of hope she had left.

"I didn't tell you guys because it's just complicated right now. My dad is going to be stationed in California for a few months and he can't come to my graduation. So, my mom bought us tickets as soon as she found out, to go and see him the day after as a surprise."

Spencer looked at Em, who couldn't meet any of the girls' eyes, "and that was complicated how? You couldn't just tell all of this to Ali?" Spence didn't mean to sound rude, but it didn't make sense to her for Emily to hide this from them, and especially from Alison.

Emily looked up, hurt, "No, no I couldn't because that's not all that there is, my dad found out more than a month ago, before Ali and I got together that he is going to have to live there and after my mom found that out, she figured we had already bought the tickets, so we might as well move their too, get the hell out of Rosewood for good. At the time, I agreed to it, I wanted to get as far away from Alison as I could, and my parents still think I want to go to California…and then I got this call from a few scouts from a few schools, and they already have it all figured out." Emily threw her hands up in the air and her voice was shaky, cracking from the realization that she messed up by not coming clean sooner, "So with a possible scholarship and both my parents living there, college in California would just be the best option."

Hanna rubbed Em's back to calm her down, "Well why don't you just tell your parents you don't want to go…"

"But that's just it Hanna, what if I still do? What if I didn't want to admit it to myself before, but what if I really want to go to California? You know, not everyone dreams of making it in Rosewood, Han, you know that. I mean look at where you're going. I could want to leave too."

"And you can Em, you can go do whatever the hell you want, it's just why didn't you tell Ali this sooner?"

Emily stared at her hands, her hands that a few hours were wrapped around Ali's. She tried to picture the way Ali's hands looked. She tried to remember the color of her nail polish: yellow, of course. She pictured which hand had the little scars where she had burned her knuckles in the kitchen when she was younger: her right hand. Emily thought over all the little details of Alison's hands and soon she was crying again. She didn't realize she left the girls without an answer until Spencer returned to the bed and grabbed Em's hands in her own.

"Hey, it's okay, okay? Ali will come back, we'll find her. She loves you Em, she'll come back."

Em shook her head, "You don't know that," her voice was flat, lifeless, and barely audible to the rest of the girls, "I messed up Spence, how will she trust me? How…how can I trust her, she didn't even wait for me to explain! What's that mean about what she thinks of us…" then her voice shook, "if there is an 'us' anymore."

"Hey, you guys are Emison," Hanna tried for a lighter mood, and failing, she said more seriously, "you were meant for one another, every couple has their moments of fuck ups okay? You've dealt with them before, and you can do it again."

"Yeah, Hanna, but I thought we had gone through that already, that we were done. We were nothing but mistakes and bumps in the road, now is this what I have to look forward to if we get back together? That when shit looks bad, she's going to run out? Even if she does come back, how can we fix this?"

Emily was pained with every word she said, every single syllable was forced by something deep within her to come out of her mouth. She hated the thought but she realized the only reason she was strong enough to talk about it right now was because she had done it before, she did it when they thought they had found Ali's body, she had done it when Wilden questioned her in the library about her letter to Ali, when she saw Ali in the warehouse, when Ali had finally came home, when she thought Ali was A, and a month ago when both girls cut themselves opened and poured their hearts into one another.

She was this strong because she had had her heart ripped out and beaten before. This was worse though because she had finally had Ali but she let something like a stupid plane ticket drive a wedge between them, it was like all the work they had done to get to where they were was erased, she was back to square one. More than anything she wished for the blonde to come walking into her room, to apologize and make things right. But it didn't happen.

None of the girls even dared answer her. They sat and shared the silence. Em's head was pounding; the pressure in her sinuses caused from the crying was hurting her whole head. Not to mention her swollen eyes and aching chest.

"Em, you shouldn't be alone, we can stay with you tonight if you want?" It was Hanna's voice soft in Em's ear, while her hand was still warmly placed on her back.

Em couldn't answer; she only shook her head, burying her head until it rested against her knees.

"Are you sure? If not, you can come to my place?" But Em thwarted the offer again with the shake of her head and resumed to her previous head tucked in knee position.

Spencer stood up and motioned for the other girls to get up as well.

"Okay, we don't want to push you, but you call us if you need anything and we'll be here. You know that," Aria had spoken up and went to hug Emily one last time.

Em finally pulled herself together for a few seconds, pulling at the invisible bands holding her together, to smile weakly at her friends, "yeah, I know, thanks guys, I'll be okay."

Spencer, Aria and Hanna all knew that that was a lie, but they trusted that Em would be fine on her own for now, that she needed time. They nodded and left her room.

As soon as she heard her front door click shut downstairs, Em let it go. She rolled to her side, still hugging her knees and let the waterworks fall, she didn't muffle her sobs in a pillow, didn't care how badly her body started to shake and didn't care that the side of her face was wallowed away in a tear-soaked pillow. She tasted her tears in her mouth, warm and salty.

Emily curled away into a ball and let the pain wash over her; the pain of her heart being ripped out and torn to shreds again, except this time she knew it was all her fault. She cried until the pain in her chest numbed her body and sleep was the only thing that was left to do. Her eyes felt drained, dry and red, swollen and glossy. Her throat was sore from the sobbing and deep her chest, the ache was so big that she could hardly breathe, falling asleep in a pain that only lessened slightly as she slept.

Spencer's POV

After the girls and I left Em's house we all went back to my place to talk. We knew this was going to tear Em apart…but we also knew Ali would be hurting too, wherever she was, she was hurting and alone and thinking that Em was planning on leaving her the second high school was over with.

"I can't believe Ali would just leave Em like that without talking to her first, if Em said they were going to talk about it, why wouldn't Ali just stay? She shouldn't of run; I thought she said she changed." Aria tried to reason out loud and she had a point. But that's when Hanna butted in.

"She HAS changed, yeah she shouldn't have run, but that doesn't mean it's her fault!" she was practically screaming in defense of Alison, the sudden outburst shocked both me and Aria, but I knew it was only because Hanna cared deeply for Alison, and despite their differences in the past, Hanna had been the first one to forgive Ali.

"Oh so its Emily's fault for being left alone while Ali ran away from her problems again?!" Aria snapped back and before I could stop them, Hanna stood up from the stool, her hands on the countertop.

"I'm not blaming anyone, it's BOTH of their faults!"

I stood between Hanna and Aria and stopped them both from saying anything else about the girls, "guys calm down, you are both right. Em shouldn't have waited so long to tell Ali; don't you think she knows that? More than any of here, she knows that, I bet she's sitting in her room right now, beating herself up for not telling Ali sooner." Hanna took her seat and Aria's muscles in her neck and shoulder relaxed.

They nodded and together mumbled a hushed 'yeah.'

"Okay, Em should've just talked to Ali as soon as she found out…but," and I looked to Hanna, "that doesn't mean that Ali should have taken off like that either."

Hanna's back straightened as if she was getting ready to say something else, so I kept talking before she had her chance, "running away isn't going to solve anything and as hurt as we know Ali must feel about that right now, she's also got to know that she can't always run from her problems. Em and Ali are drawn to each other, Ali will come back. And if she doesn't I'm going to find her and drag her ass back here myself."

I sighed and went into my kitchen to make coffee, "have you already tried her phone?"

"Yeah, I have…" said Aria.

Hanna added, "…and it goes straight to voicemail."

The three of us sat in my kitchen, thinking about or two friends, both thinking the other was mad at them, and thinking maybe it was the end of their relationship. I shook my head, disappointed that either of them would so easily doubt their feelings for one another. It was because they had both broken each other's heart already. I sighed and sent a silent prayer to Ali, wherever she was to drag herself back and fight for Em like she told me she would.

After some time, Hanna broke the silence, "I can't believe this. They couldn't keep their hands off each other earlier and now we have this mess to sort through." Hanna sighed deeply and continued, "I feel bad for Ali, she really tried to get Em back and when she did, I mean we all seen how happy they made each other, it was like finally you know? Finally they're together, and we've seen Ali, the Ali she wants to be, the one that only Em used to see and now, she's gone again." Her voice trailed off and slowly she started to get up, when no one responded, "well today has been beyond long, I think I'm going to head home now."

Aria grabbed her purse and turned to look between me and Han, "yeah same here Spence, I should get going, my mom is dying to know what my dress looks like."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah go guys, I'll check on Ali's phone again later and maybe stop by Em's and I'll text you guys," I assured them and then practically shooed them out of the door.

As they left I could tell that they both felt bad for Em, and I could also see that both were also feeling for Ali, but I wasn't.

In the last few minutes, I realized that I was angry with her. I was pissed that she had found another way to hurt Emily. It was stupid, why the hell did she run? After all we had talked about that night in the kitchen and after all the crap Hanna had said about her changing, I couldn't believe she didn't have the courage to stay. She said she would fight for Em, and this wasn't fighting. I was angry with Emily too, for keeping it a secret and not using the courage I knew she had to tell Ali the truth. I knew their might be more to either one of their stories and they at least needed to talk about that first if we ever wanted to see them together again.

I poured myself some coffee and picked up my phone and dialed. After the third ring, it picked up, "Hello, Caleb? Hey, yeah, Hanna's fine, no she's at her house, but um, can I ask you for a favor? Uh yeah, just meet me at my house please, and oh, bring your computer with you, thanks?"

Alison's POV

3 straight hours of driving and I had to stop somewhere for gas, my phone was dead so I couldn't GPS where the hell I was so at the nearest off ramp, I exited and weaved through small streets in a desolate old little town and found a gas station. I got out and paid for some gas on my credit card, I realized I skipped out on dinner and bought some snacks too.

"That's going to be $8.13," the little old cashier said in some accent I couldn't even recognize.

"Okay, uh hey, I'm just passing through town, but do you know where I can find a cheap motel I can stay at for the night?"

The old man looked me over, peering through his thick bifocals, "yes, keep driving north along this back road, make a left on Michigan St. and then a right, drive all the way down and sooner or later you'll come up on a small motel.

"Thanks," I said and handed him a ten dollar bill, "keep the change."

I walked out and when I got in the car, I realized why the old guy was peering at me the way he was, I looked like an absolute train wreck. I pulled the mirror on my visor down and looked myself over. My mascara had run down along my cheeks, the tears washed most away so it was very dull, but against my white skin, it was as if I had just started to cry. The front of my blouse was tear stained and my eyes were bloodshot red. How the hell did I get out of the car and not see that I was a mess?

Then the ache in my chest and the pit of my stomach reminded me why. The whole way up here, wherever 'here' was, a part of my mind contemplated turning around. A voice in my head screamed at me to wake up, that this was just a bad dream and if I went back to bed, I would wake up. That same voice yelled at me for being foolish and running, but another voice, an older one that I don't think ever went away, laughed at me and pointed out all the insecurities that I had thought I flushed away: insecurities that told me that Emily being able to love me was too good to be true, it told me that we would've never last, that eventually the thrill of being with me would've faded. That voice kept telling me that there was no way I ever deserved her. But I couldn't believe.

I got to the motel and after I was handed back my card and room key from check-in, I headed upstairs to a lonely, run down room. It was small and the walls were bare, a dull grey and two walls covered in wallpaper with flowers on it. It wasn't the best room I'd ever stayed in, but it would have to do until…well I guess just tonight. I couldn't run again, I had to force myself to go back home - to Rosewood. To Emily, because she is my home. "No, she was," that voice taunted me and I cringed and sat myself on the bed.

The springs dug into my back when I had lain down but it was nothing compared to the way I felt on the inside. I was crumbling, slowly falling apart, not even caring where the pieces landed. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. I had no idea how I was able to run away from the person I loved, the only person who had loved me, truly loved me in all my forms, and tell myself to keep going. I had no idea how, while crying and screaming at myself, I didn't crash and end up in a ditch somewhere. I didn't know if I was going to be able to go back and face the harsh realities that were waiting for me. But I had to, I had to. I gave myself a pep talk. Emily Fields was the only light in a vast pit of darkness that was my life. I didn't know how I would make up for this one, this time, but I knew I had to, I just had to, I could not, would not give her up.

If I knew nothing at all but one thing right now, I did know this: my heart ached for Emily. Even now, when I should be mad at her, even when I knew she was curled in her bed crying, angry at me, probably working twice as hard as she did before to either find a way to forgive me, or build her walls, my heart ached for her. And the longer I waited, the harder it would be to tear them down. I knew that every heart beat that throbbed against my chest was for her, it was for Emily. I left any love that I was ever capable of within the walls of her room, of her heart, and if she shut me out for good this time, for being a coward and not trusting her, and then I knew I would never be able to get that love back.

I didn't realize how hard I was crying into the flattened pillow until I move my face slightly and found the whole side I was laying on drenched in my salty tears. I rolled over and faced the right side of the bed; it was the side Em normally slept on at my house and the side I had slept on at hers. I looked at the empty pillow and my mind forced images of her there, her eyes were shut, deep in sleep and if I closed my eyes hard enough I could hear her even breathing. I reached my hand out and opened my eyes again when my hand fell atop the old empty pillow. Another fresh wave of tears rolled from my eyes, down the sides of my face.

I rolled onto my back and reasoned with myself that it would be okay. That I would be okay, Emily and I would figure it out and we would be fine.

I rolled over again and I wished I had brought clothes to sleep in. However, I should've been happy with my jeans and blouse because soon my thoughts raced to the last thing I was doing in Em's room, when I was looking for some of her clothes to wear. I thought of the way they would've fit on me had I worn her sweats: low and loose on the hips and long, bunched material around my ankles. I sobbed harder, slamming my fists at my side; I was so stupid for leaving. What was she thinking about me and what I thought about us since I left?

Stupid Alison, you just ran away from the only thing good in your life. How are you going to fix it this time?

The voice in my head kept telling me how dumb I was, and I wanted to shut it off and go back to Rosewood right then and there, return to Emily's house, barge in her room and beg for forgiveness and to talk. But I was afraid and I was still upset, I was a mix of emotions: I was hurt and angry and I imagined there would be screaming and yelling and throwing things.

I cringed at the memory of an angry Emily and thought back to the night we told the girls about us…Spencer was right when she said this wouldn't be that easy. Love wasn't easy. I thought it was, especially with Emily, but it wasn't easy because I'm still trying to grow out of the old me.

The way I was raised and taught to lie, the way I was forced to protect myself at all costs, and the way I pushed away all my feelings and emotions, they were still very much a part of who I was, and as much as I have changed, I knew that they were never going to just go away, I could try and make them better. Emily loved me despite all of that, despite everything I was and everything I did, she chose to love me. And how did I repay her? I didn't even have the patience to wait and hear her explanation. Emily who had waited for me for years, even when I was presumably dead; she waited for me when I was still caught in my own web of lies, she had been the only one, still waiting for me to come around, she waited for me and I couldn't bare waiting in her room for mere minutes while she told me what the ticket was for and why she hadn't told me sooner.

It was just easier to accept the worst and try to ignore my feelings; I was never the best at showing my emotions on my sleeve, all that was left on my sleeve was washed off mascara and tears.

The pain in my head started to subside and soon my body went slack, doing its best to mold comfortably into the bed. My eyelids were heavy and every part of me ached for sleep. The thoughts running through my mind were exhausting, draining the energy from me. I couldn't bear to keep thinking.

I would just rest right now and first thing in the morning, I would drive home and, and – well I would figure it out. I just needed a little time.

I shut the bedside light off and before I drifted to sleep, the last image that crossed my mind was one of Em, sitting in her window seat, doing what she always did. I imagined her waiting for me, waiting for me to make things right, and waiting for me to come home, and that gave me hope for the morning.

Spencer's POV

The perks of having a boyfriend in the police department, and a friend whose boyfriend is a computer whizz: I could almost find anyone I wanted…okay, fine, put them together, and they could find anyone…that I wanted.

"Spence, you know what I'm doing is illegal right? I could lose my job for this plus-"

"Toby, just do it please? C'mon, you and Em used to be really close friends-" but he cut me off.

"And we still are, and I care for her, but why can't you just wait a few days, or better yet, let them handle it?" I could tell her was running his hands through his hair, sighing and hoping Caleb would somehow turn me down.

"Hey, you're on speaker and by the look on Caleb's face, he's not butting in to side with you any time soon."

"Hey man, I didn't put those words in my mouth okay? Hanna is busy with her mom, but I'm helping because if she heard about this, she would be breathing down my neck making sure I did exactly what she said. I didn't know Ali that well, and I still don't but neither one of them deserves this." I shot Caleb a thankful look and then thanked Hanna mentally for engraining it in Caleb that Emily and Alison meant a lot to her…and all of us.

Toby sighed, the noise coming out muffled in the speaker "fine, fine, I'll go and I'll do it. Rosewood PD have always had a way with bending the rules…I just thought I'd be different."

I felt bad that I was asking for this sort of thing from Toby to do, but I cared so much about Em and Ali too, that I didn't realize what I 'code' I was asking Toby to break for my friends.

"Toby, I-" I started but I didn't think saying sorry was appropriate.

"It's okay Spence, I get it…if the tables were turned, I'd ask the same I'm sure."

"Yeah, if the tables were turned, flipped over and then inverted, I'm sure that we would all break the law for each other…we all have before anyways, right?" Caleb added as he sat on my couch and put his laptop on the coffee table. "Now, are we going to do this, or not?"

A couple hours later…

"Wow, that was fast." I looked closely at the screen of Caleb's laptop and see where Ali last was, according to her credit card usage, she was at an old motel just a couple hours outside of Rosewood.

Toby ran Ali's plates to see if any traffic cams had picked her up somewhere, but the last place her car was spotted was just leaving Rosewood; apparently she had managed to keep hidden from cameras by taking the back roads, but with Caleb's help, we hacked into her phone but we seen that there were no calls or texts made since earlier in the day and all by us, when we trying to find out where she was. I had no clue how Caleb managed, but there was GPS in Ali's phone, so with that and tracing her credit card activity, we found the motel she was at.

"Great, thank you Caleb." I hugged him around the shoulders and he just shrugged, wrapping up his stuff, "yeah, no problem." He turned to leave and while his body was still halfway in the doorway, he turned to me, "Hey, Spencer?"

"Yeah?" I answered, standing where I was, not moving.

"Well, now we've found her, so what are you planning on doing now? Are you going to tell Em?"

I almost forgot to tell Caleb, "Um, no, I'm not going to tell her. I'm going to drive up there myself and make sure she doesn't run again. If she leaves for two years, I'm afraid that when she comes back, Em won't be there this time."

He sighed and nodded his head, "And what if Ali was already planning on coming back?"

I hadn't thought of that in the past hours when I was trying to find our friend, but I always had an answer, "Well then, I guess I'll just be going to tell her to hurry up and stop keeping Em waiting?"

"Good answer."

"Thanks. Oh and Caleb?"

He turned towards me and smiled, "I suppose this little trip you're taking is supposed to be a secret?"

"Yes please?"

He shook his head, "I won't bring it up, but if Hanna asks…"

"I'll be on the road home already and hopefully so will Ali."

"Alright then."

"Alright, thank you Caleb, I appreciate it."

"Yeah, I can't imagine either one of them without the other; it would be like watching them walk around without a limb or something."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I have to make sure Ali stays."

Caleb wasn't one for so many words, so I let him nod me off and leave without another word.

I called Toby and thanked him again, I would owe him later, but right now, I couldn't waste another second sitting here when Alison could be planning her next 'trip' away from us.

I check my phone for the time, it was only 9:45 and I had had my fix of coffee. I reasoned with myself that I could drive now to where Ali was, maybe stay the night there and leave, and make sure she did too, to go home and be back before any of the girls had known I left. That is unless Hanna somehow managed to squeeze something out of Caleb.

I grabbed my car keys and took off before I changed my mind.

Alison's POV

I rolled around in the bed most of the time that I was trying to fall asleep, but every time I closed my eyes, images of Emily crossed my mind. Images of her walking away from me when she said she was done with me, images of the first time we kissed in my bed, of her in the lake, telling me it was okay to let go, I had images of her crying, of her laughing, of her eyes, of her laying in my bed, images of Emily that I knew I would never be able to forget. I rolled on my side to the little clock radio watching as the time turned from 11:56 to 11:57, it was close to midnight, close to it being a new day.

I rolled over back so I was lying flat on my back, staring at the dull popcorn ceiling. What was I doing here? Why did I leave? Why did-

Knock knock knock!

Who the hell was someone knocking on my door and why?

I got up slowly and cautiously made why way to the door. It was dark out so I couldn't quite make out who was out there, all I seen was the back of someone – a girl's head – and then, they turned around. I opened the door in a matter of milliseconds.

"Spencer?! What the hell are you doing here?"

She turned and looked me up and down, shaking her head, "You know Ali, I should ask you the same thing?"

I opened my mouth but no words would come. "How did you find me?"

She pushed her way in through my arm and sat herself on the very edge of the bed. She ran her palms along the rough fabric of the blanket and huffed loudly. I closed the door and stood with my back to it. "So this is where you came," she asked disapprovingly, "instead of working things out, you came to this crap hole? Hm." She sounded upset but I just ignored what she said.

"Spencer," I tried again, "what are you doing here and how did you find me, wait are the girls with you, is E-" but I couldn't say her name, I stopped and stared at the rug, trying to distract myself by staring at the stains. I could feel Spencer staring at me and after a while she finally spoke.

"No, I came alone and I have my ways okay Ali? Sometimes it isn't about what you know, but who you know…and in this case, I know a cop and a computer hacker."

I stared her over and immediately realized she was talking about Toby and Caleb. I would've pressed her on why they would help her, but then I realized again, that they probably did it for Em. Hanna and Spencer loved Em and Caleb and Toby loved them…so, the dots connected, and the only line leading to me was the one from Em. I knew it deep down, even if she was upset with me, that she loved me.

"Alison, I came to stop you."

"Stop me? Stop me from what?"

"What do you think Alison? Running! You can't keep running Ali; you should know that by now. You can't keep running from her. You and Emily are tied to one another, and every time you leave, you take a piece of her with you and it just gets harder for that piece to fall back into place."

It sank in that that piece was in fact a piece of her heart, the best part of what makes Emily so special and tough and caring. My eyes were getting glossy and I couldn't meet Spencer's gaze, I just played with my thumbs, running my hands over and over until I was staring at my scars on my hand from where I got burned. Emily once said a scar is just something to tell a story about. They were reminders of what we've been through, and what we've overcome. Too bad no one would see the scars I was marking over her heart…and mine.

"What if she doesn't want me back? She must think that I-"

"Not want you back? Are you fucking kidding me? Alison, you are all that Emily ever wants, all the time. If I can see it than I know for sure you know that. Why do you keep doubting that she loves you? Hasn't she told you already a million times? Hasn't she shown you repeatedly?"

I was starting to get angry now, angry for Spencer spying around to find me, angry she was yelling at me about Emily, like she knew her better than me, but most of all, I was angry at myself because I knew she was right.

"Yeah but why did she hide that ticket from me then?"

Spence just sighed and I could tell she was thinking. "You want to know why? Then you are going to have to get your ass up and go and find out for yourself, it's not what you think okay? Em's dad is in California, Emily just wanted to see him…there's more, but it's not my place to tell you that."

Immediately my heart sank and I felt like a complete idiot, of course Emily's dad was stationed in California. Emily had cancelled a movie night with me so that her and her mom could video chat with him. I felt sick to my stomach for jumping to the worst possible conclusion. For leaving her like that.

"Oh God, what have I done?" I turned to Spencer and her eyes lit up.

"You messed up pretty bad Ali. Emily was curled in ball crying over you again. And I know I said I would hurt you if you hurt her, but that wouldn't do her any good either. None of us could believe, okay well we could, but to walk, no run away from Emily, again? After everything the two of you have been through…what were you even thinking?"

I wasn't easy to admit, but I found myself laying it all on the line for Spencer to hear.

"I don't know Spence. I saw that ticket and I thought of Emily on a plane, flying to the other side of the country and not looking back."

"Why would you think that? She loves you, even now. I know she's hurting, but that's because she loves you, maybe more than anyone will probably ever be able to love someone, so why would she leave you? Why are you going to run."

I sighed and let silent tears roll down my cheeks until they fell again, onto my shirt.

"I wasn't planning on running away, but I can't hold her back Spencer, Emily was meant to do great things, I won't be able to graduate on time and that leaves me in Rosewood for at least another year." I took a deep breath and kept my eyes on the rug. "I know she loves me, and god I love her, I love her so freaking much, but I can't influence her future that way, I know the kind of programs they have over there, I can't stand in the way of that, I couldn't. So I thought if I ran, I wouldn't have to deal with a goodbye like that, and even better, I wouldn't keep her grounded…she's waited for me for too long, and too many times."

"You ran away Ali, not your feelings, you know that. You know that all the happiness you are ever going to find is sitting on her bed, in her room, crying for you, over you and because she needs you."

"That's where you're wrong, Emily never needed me, I was the one who always needed her."

"Yeah? How about you go back to Rosewood and see for yourself Alison. You need each other. It's possible to be apart and you know that. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, and I've told you that before. I'm just mad and so is Aria and Hanna and most of all Emily. We're mad that you didn't fight, you didn't stay of listen and you didn't fight for her. To Em, it seems like you've given up. She thinks you don't love her."

"I do, but I don't deserve her. I don't deserve to be as happy as I am when I'm with her, I just don't."

"And you believe that? Why? What about Emily and her happiness? Don't you think she deserves to be happy, don't you think she deserves to be with the one person in this world who she loves and has loved and I'm sure always will? Stop being so damn selfish! You love her, then make her happy. You want the best for her? Then give it to her. Stop moping around and fight for her! You broke that promise to me, but now is the time to make it right!"

Spencer's words settled in within seconds. A million things were running through my mind the moment Spencer stopped talking. I fought the urge bust open the door and to keep running until I was out of breath. But I didn't have to fight that urge that hard because another feeling consumed my body and all I wanted to do was get back to Em. To be back in her room and apologize and say I'm sorry. I needed to go back and stop another tear from leaving her face. I fucked up bad, but I had to make it right, and if I failed, I promised myself it would be the last thing I ever did.

"But I do Spencer, I love her more than anything. I love her, I always have and I always will. I always will love her." The words fumbled out of my mouth, tripping over the other in one long exhale. "I've got to go Spencer, I've got to go, I can't keep keeping her waiting."

"You're going to leave now? But it's 12 in the morning!"

"Spencer I don't care, I'll be fine. I just have to get back, okay, the sooner the better."

Spencer got up, "then what the hell are you doing here?" She yelled at me with a smile.

I didn't say a single word as I grabbed my purse, pulled my cars keys from it and ran to the door. My body was half way out of the frame before I turned around and ran to Spencer, almost tackling her onto the bed. Her small frame fit easily around my arms, she felt nothing like Emily, but I hugged her anyway and kissed her cheek, detaching myself and leaving a shocked look on her face.

"You know I would expect Hanna to be the one to come and slap me probably, but I'm glad it was you. I love you Spence, even if you push all my buttons, sometimes they're the right ones."

She smiled and shooed me from the door, "go, just go dammit. You can thank me later."

After that I left my friend in that crappy excuse for a room got to my car. I don't think I ever ran so fast in my life. I jammed the key into the ignition and hit the pavement, ignoring most traffic rules and rushed my ass back to Rosewood, back to Emily, back home.

Spencer's POV

Alison left in a bright whirlwind of messing blonde hair against the dark black of the night sky, it was like a scene from a movie, she was a mess and an emotional wreck and things seemed so wrong but she still looked perfect. She ran without looking back but this time I was okay with watching her run because I knew she was running in the right direction.

I took a few deep breaths and sent Toby and my mom a text so they wouldn't worry. I was tired and I knew I was not going to able to drive back after just having driven here, so I lay back on the scratchy sheets and let myself drift into sleep. The last thought I had before falling asleep was one I had had before about Ali.

I imagined her sitting her car right now speeding down empty highways and I wished she could hear my thoughts: go Alison, run, and fight for her.

Alison's POV

I reached the outskirts of Rosewood and my stomach started to do flips. My palms sweated against the steering wheel and my breathing started to hurt my chest again. My mind went blank and I drove like I was in autopilot, letting my head fill with what I would say to make things right. What I could say to make her listen, to forgive me.

I didn't realize I was sitting in front of her house until a cat jumped on the hood of my car and scared the hell out of me. I shook the jitters off and stared at the house on my right. It felt strange to be afraid of walking through that door even though I had done it a million times already. I stared at the driveway; Em's car was there but not her mom's. I hoped she wouldn't be home anytime soon.

I checked my stereo and seen the time, it was 1:45 in the morning. I doubt Em would even be awake. I took another deep breath and leaned over the passenger side, and looking out the window I could see the shadow of her pillows against her window seat mirror: her lights were on.

Okay Ali, you can do this. The girl you love is right through though doors, waiting again, for you to make things right with her.

My heart started beating faster and slower at the same time. My palms sweated but a cold chill ran down my back. I sat in my car for what seemed like hours, running back the words I would say to her. More 'hours' passed and when I checked the time, it was 1:51. Six minutes felt like an eternity so at 1:52 I unbuckled my seat belt, swallowed my pride and slowly walked up to her front door. I stood on her porch until my feet fell asleep and I pulled my key from my bag. Em had given me one after our anniversary and I thanked her for it right now.

I turned the key and when the lock clicked I stepped inside her house. It felt like the last time I was here was years ago, but I know it had only been a matter of hours.

Her stairs were carpeted, so I climbed them in silence, stopping dead in my tracks when I came to her shut door. My heart beat so loud I was afraid she would hear me. I knew she was sleeping then too because I could hear nothing but the soft voices of the TV.

One more little step forward. I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it…

Alright Ali you can do this, you can do this…

***yeah, you must all hate me right about now? I'm sorry but I needed a place to end for right now. I know it's been days since my last update, and with the busy schedule I've had, this is what I could finish writing for you right now. Any longer and I would've been upset with myself, plus some of your reviews are very demanding ;) Not that I mind of course, I'm flattered that you are hungry for more.

Please review what you think about this chapter, about Spencer and etc. Also what do you think will happen in the next chapter…throwing things? Yelling? The works, right? And is anyone a fan of makeup sex? *wink wink* Haha I won't give too much away, so tell me what you think!

Love you all and I hope I'm back sooner rather than later, Lina.

Chapter 31: The Break-Up or The Make-Up?