for Karen
Chapter 47 - 7 hours 46 minutes
No One's POV
"Wait wait wait," Hanna exclaimed from Emily and Alison's living room couch, "you dumb-asses both bought each other two tickets to Paris for your break in July?"
"Yes Han," Em laughed, "we told you this on the phone the week we came back from Ali's birthday getaway, so who's the dummy now?"
"Still not me. Paris is beautiful, no doubt there, but the more you go the more, I think the more you're going to lose from the experience you know?"
"No, I don't," Emily said flatly, "it's Paris, Han. I know I could spend forever there and not ever get tired of it."
"And so could I, that's why we got the tickets for each other, this is a big deal for the both of us, and I think it was meant to be if we both bought them."
"All I'm saying is that I'm surprised."
"Why?" Aria nudged Hanna, "this has been their dream since...well I don't even know how long, but I'm just going to say even long before they told us about it."
"That's true," Ali said in a sing-song manner.
"I don't find it hard to believe either Hanna, if anything, I expected this to happen," Spencer pointed out matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, so stop acting so surprised, Aria and Spencer are taking it fine, why can't you?" Ali asked, pointed to their other friends on the couch with Hanna.
"Because, I think you already told Aria and Spencer what the story was behind you two's whole Paris deal," Hanna crossed her arms, only knowing the very current reason Ali was drawn to the city and not the history that started it all.
"We haven't, and if they have, then they either stole one of our diaries, or figured it out on their own. Why are you so damn grumpy about this too?"
"It's okay babe," Em said with a crinkle in her nose, "she's just mad that I figured her little secret out. Hers," she breathed, "and yours."
At this everyone but Emily's eyes bugged out and Hanna and Ali shared a look of pure fear and panic, while what color was in Aria's and Spencer's faces drained completely.
"S-secret?" Ali stuttered in an octave higher than usual, "wha-what s-secret?"
Emily stopped pouring chips and popcorn into the bowl on the counter and looked at them, "oh c'mon," Em drawled sarcastically and shrugged her hands at them, "I know why they were all acting so weird around me now."
"Y-you do?" Alison questioned while sending killer eye darts at Hanna.
"Yeah, and I have to admit babe, that I didn't think you could keep a secret from me. I didn't know that that was what I wanted to do for you until maybe a few weeks ago, you've been planning this for quite some time haven't you?"
"What? So you know?" Ali was standing with her heart sunken into her stomach and her jaw slack.
"Yeah, of course, unless you agree with Hanna and think I am a dumbass," she laughed, "you told them that you were getting me these tickets, and they've been keeping that secret ever since. I'm just glad that cat's out the bag, I was getting super annoyed."
Ali's heart picked up it's normal pace again and she remembered how to breathe.
Everyone else seemed to feel the same way, their shoulders relaxing, facing becoming unstuck and eyes not so wide anymore.
"Oh, yeah, of course, that, pssht, what was I thinking?" Ali laughed and turned her around to face her friends, sending them the frantic 'help me please' eyes.
"Ooooh yeah right."
"Got us there, here's the cat."
"Guilty as charged Em!"
Ali and the three others laughed nervously and sighed heavily with relief, making a show of it all and Emily just looked at them like they had all gone mad.
"Yeah," she said raising a brow, "you can all stop acting weird now."
But that really wasn't the case, there was still the actual secret that they had been keeping for months now and it was going to be out in the open in just a few weeks time.
"Weird? Who's being weird, not us," Hanna practically yelled, "you're the weird one you weirdo."
"Hanna," Ali growled so Emily wouldn't hear from the kitchen, "shut the hell up now."
Hanna nodded and smiled and nodded harder, "Hanna are you okay," Emily asked, watching her best friend shake her head like a possessed bobble head.
"Who me? Fine Em, peachy actually."
"Just bring her the food," Spencer stepped in, "it's like oxygen to her brain and I think she's suffocating over here."
"Thanks," Hanna grumbled lowly to Spencer, "I thought I was going to throw up."
"Too late," Aria teased, "you have word vomit all over the floor."
"Here," Emily interrupted as she walked into the living room, handing Hanna a large green bowl with popcorn, trail mix, chocolate and chex mix, "your favorite."
"Thanks." Hanna nodded and shoved a handful of the bowl's contents in her mouth.
If Spencer could, she'd palm her own forehead in embarrassment, stopping only when Hanna filled her mouth with food.
"Okay, well what's on the agenda guys?" Aria turned to the happy couple.
Ali shot her a knowing look and cleared her throat, "hey I put some jalapeno poppers in the over, Aria come help me?"
"Sure."
"But babe, the girls want to know what we're doing," Emily protested, sitting herself on the other couch.
"You tell them, I'll tell Aria."
"Whatever, fine, but hurry up, they don't take that long to finish."
"I know, be back right now, find a you guys can find a movie while we finish up here."
"Okay," Emily pouted but shrugged and sat against the pillows, "well, since you all can't seem to stop bugging, I'll have you know that we...don't have that much of a plan."
"What?" Spencer was actually genuinely surprised, "Emily you've been wanting this for so long, how could you just go and not know?"
"Simple, we have this whole month off and we can afford to stay there and travel to other countries other than France, so we decided to just go and see what happens," Emily leaned forward and grabbed some of the sticky snacks from Hanna.
"No plan at all?" Hanna scoffed, rolling her eyes at Spencer, who knew why.
"Yeah, no plan, the only planning we did was reservations at the hotel Ali picked for the first week and then financial planning to make sure that we're covered."
"Oh c'mon, Ali just got part of her money for the new book and you're a great doctor at one of the best hospitals around, you guys are fine in the pocket," Spencer laughed.
"True, but you know how much I like spoiling her, and she does the same."
"That's true," Hanna mumbled.
"What? Why do you sound so surprised that I didn't plan anything, I like spontaneity, Han."
"Yeah, I know you do, but you know with this new...client I have, she's super picky and has been a little bitchy and has her wedding planned out like play by play."
Spencer elbowed Hanna and shook her head, "don't talk about clients like that, it's not good for business."
"Business, shmusiness, she'll hear it all when it's finally over."
"Who is this client? I haven't heard you complain about her before," Emily asked.
"Just some woman who's crazy about who they're marrying."
"Yeah? Well then it can't be that bad then, cut her some slack, whoever the guy is probably doesn't know how lucky he is."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Hanna tried to agree.
"So Paris...damn, do you know what you're packing? When do you leave?"
"I have no idea what I'm going to take, I'm sure Ali is more clueless than me, so that makes me feel a little better."
"Oh don't bet on that," Hanna muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing," Hanna cursed her big mouth, "I was just saying that actually, I bet Alison has an idea about what this trip is going to be like."
"Yeah? And how could you possibly know that?"
"I don't."
"Hanna, we've best friends, forever, I know that you're lying, spill."
"Spencer?"
"What? Don't look at me Em, I'm not a part of this."
"Would it be bad if I bet that you were?"
"I'd advise against it," Spencer bluffed.
"Alright, go on then Hanna, tell me or else I'll tell Ali that you ruined it and told me."
"What? That makes no sense. Either way I'd be in trouble with you guys."
"So then I guess you better just tell me and at least make me happy."
"Ugh, Emily, no please, I can't."
"Can't or won't," and when Hanna didn't say anything, Emily pressed a quick decision, "Ali!"
"What Em," Ali responded.
"Okay, damn Em, okay."
Emily smirked devilishly and called back, "nothing, you almost done in there?"
"Yeah, we're coming right now."
Spencer shook her head and laughed, "Emily, I think you picked up a little too well on Ali's devious ways."
"What can I say? Sometimes it comes in handy."
"Emily, you're really going to make me tell you?" Hanna asked, but she was just trying to buy herself some time.
"Yes, and I hear Aria and Ali coming so spit it out now."
"Ok, the Eiffel Tower," she blurted, face heating up against her pale complexion.
"What? What about it?"
"See, I told you it was nothing special, she just wants to make sure you guys make it their and have a good time."
"That's it," Em asked incredulously, "you're lying."
"No, I swear, that's all she keeps talking about with me, just like you, and I don't know anything else, I just thought I wouldn't tell you because, I didn't know if you maybe had something planned for her, so when I heard you say you don't even had anything planned, I guess I was just relieved, and it was kind of funny to me."
"Seriously, you thought that going to the Eiffel Tower was secretive, we're going to Paris, I'm pretty sure it would be committing a crime to go to Paris, France and NOT go see it. Good job Hanna, you're losing your touch."
"What can I say, I haven't kept secrets since high school."
"True, well whatever, if it makes you feel better, I won't tell Ali that you let me know that she was 'planning' on seeing the Eiffel Tower with me."
"Thanks," Hanna sighed, full of relief.
Spencer sighed, Hanna was cutting it close.
"Hey," Aria just came in, "finger foods are all here."
"What the heck?" Ali came in shortly after, "I thought you guys were going to pick out a movie?"
"Movie night is a tradition for us, and you know the rules," Hanna teased Ali.
"The rules? Hanna we're all adults now. No."
"Em, tell your girlfriend the rules."
Emily looked up and Ali and then at Spencer and Aria, "do we have to, I hate picking the movies, you guys always laugh at what I choose."
"Your house, you pick the movies and if we don't like them, you have to do our dares."
"This is bullshit, we haven't done this in years."
"That's because the last time we had movie night was at Spencer's," Aria pointed out.
"Yeah," Hanna laughed, "and the boys were home, we couldn't dare Spencer in front of her kids."
"Dammit," Emily groaned, "I told you we should've gotten the damn dog Alison, we could've claimed her as our child and did the same thing."
"Em, stop crying, just pick the damn movie babe."
"Why don't you ever pick, this is your house too."
"Because, I'm not in charge in this room."
"Oh guys-," Spencer groaned.
"Oh geez," Aria laughed.
"Yup, I saw that coming," Hanna shrugged, tossing more popcorn in her mouth.
"Don't be surprised guys we all know how freaky-,"
"Hanna!" Everyone shouted, "Shutup!"
"Geez, eff you guys, weren't we nicer when we were teens? Or something, don't be such prunes."
"Prudes," Spencer rolled her eyes, "not prunes."
"What? What the hell is a prude."
"It's what you meant to say."
"No, I said prune, you know like when something is all pruny and old and dry."
"Wow," Aria picked a pillow and tossed it at Hanna, "thanks."
"You're welcome, but I thought you knew what a prune was Aria?"
"Oh god, Han, some things never changed," Spencer actually palmed her forehead this time, while everyone else laughed.
"I'm just to pick a movie and save Hanna more embarrassment."
"What? What embarrassment, I was right!"
x-x-x-x
June 29th, the day of their flight
Today was finally the day, Alison thought. It was the first day of her grand master plan. It was go time, make it or break it, go hard or go home, all that motivational crap a coach says to their team before a game.
She was giddy with excitement and nerves over 10 years had passed since a seedling she knew was her Paris dream had been planted.
Now, it was time, she and Emily-
Alison suddenly sucked herself out of her head and opened her eyes wide, sensing the warmth next to her was none other than - "Em! Em, what are you doing, wake up!" Ali jumped out of the sheets and straddled a sleeping Emily, "Em-i-ly," she pronounced, jumpy with each syllable, "get," jump, "up," jump again.
"Ugh, Ali, what? I bought frozen waffles, I'm not making you any."
"What," Alison muffled her laugh with the hem of her shirt, "Em," she groaned, "I don't want breakfast."
Emily grunted and tried to roll over, "then gertoffame."
"I don't speak grumble, c'mon get up, do you know what time it is?"
"Uh huh, of course."
Ali beamed, "then? GET. UP."
"I know exactly what time it is...TWO fucking early," Emily still had her eyes shut but she tried to roll over again, difficult with Ali's full weight sitting on her, and covered her face with another pillow.
"EMILY FIELDS, if you don't get your ass-,"
"Shhhhh, I tired."
Alison's jaw dropped and she crossed her arms before deciding that she was going about this all the wrong way. That evil smirk crossed her face and she reached for the hem of her shit and pulled it over her head and tossed it aside.
She always slept in a shirt and underwear, while Em slept with a sports bra and boxer-like shorts. And she was appreciated the extra exposed skin right about now, leaning down to take in the scent radiating gently from her girlfriend's skin.
"Em," she whispered softly in the brunette's ear, "réveiller mon amour."
"What did you say?" Emily moaned into her hand.
"Paris attend," Ali spoke softly.
"Was that French?"
Alison smiled bigger and rolled off halfway to pull the covers from Emily and use her body as a blanket instead, "oui, écoute moi."
"Ali wha-," and then it clicked, "wait, is it already morning?" She asked more seriously, the sleep in her voice slowly fading.
"Yeeees," Ali drawled out, "and do you know what it means now?"
Emily threw her hand from her face and smiled now only half-sleepily at her girlfriend above her, "it means the dream I was having just now can't compare to the dream I'll be living in just 7 hours."
Alison thought she could banter about the time but one look in those brown almond-shaped orbs and she was sucked into them.
"Come here," Emily barely let her voice be heard and even if Alison was deaf, she knew exactly what Emily wanted by looking in her eyes, "I love you," Em said, just as quietly as before.
She leaned forward slowly, placing her hands on either side of Emily's head for support, smiling softly as the unruly mess of golden tresses fell around her face, creating a thin canopy around her and Emily's face.
"Je t'aime."
Em smiled and leaned up to bump noses, "tu es mon amour."
"I thought you said you haven't been practicing?"
"I haven't," Emily admittedly sleepily, "I just know that one."
"Well, it sounded like you've been practicing and lying about it."
"Me? Lying? Never."
"You totally are. You're such a cheater!" Ali jumped up and grabbed a pillow, hitting a slow-reacting Emily in the face.
"Hey, watch it, I am not a cheater! You said we could practice."
"Yeah, but you said you weren't going to, so that made me lazy. That's cheating. I'm not losing the bet Emily, especially not to a cheater."
They, along with Hanna, and a few bottles of wine, came up with the idea that on a night out, in the city of love, preferably at a restaurant, both Alison and Emily would have to speak French the whole night, the first to break the language or mess up in front of a native Frenchman - or woman - would have to eat a plate of snails. Hanna argued for the almost raw, barely salted kind but since both women found it revolting anyways, even the best prepared kind would do the trick.
The loser would order the snails and eat them all. The winner - this was Aria's idea - would get to post any picture taken of the loser while eating to the social media of the winner's.
And fair was fair, but since Emily told Ali she wasn't going to bother practicing, Ali took a lazier approach to the whole thing.
"Ali calm down, can you make breakfast before we leave?"
"You want me to make food? No, that's kind of your domain. Besides, I have to call Hanna and tell her you cheated so the deal is off, no snail eating pictures of us anywhere."
"But Ali..."
"Cry and groan like a baby all you want, as long as your ass has hauled our luggage downstairs and you're dressed, combed, teeth brushed and ready to go in two hours."
"Two hours?"
"Yes, c'mon I bet you didn't even realize that I changed our flight time. We are now leaving at 7:15 because of you."
"7:15, jesus, what time is it now?"
"Um, it is...3:40 am."
"What the- no, eff that, no, I'm going to sleep, you can drag my ass down the stairs. The sun didn't even wake up, so why should I?"
"Suit yourself, Hanna made a bet with me that you wouldn't want to get up, so it looks like I'm taking her instead."
"She doesn't even want to go, you liar."
"Okay, well stay in bed and I guess you'll find out."
Emily rolled around some more and kicked all the blankets to the floor, punching her pillow and throwing her head into it before groaning again and making a sound like a yell and scream and whine combined, "fiiiiiine, I'm getting up."
Ali smirked victoriously and walked into their bathroom, "I put the pancake mix and everything else on the counter for you babe."
"You're evil."
"Ooo," Ali ignored Em, "don't forget the chocolate chips, they're in the cupboard right behind-,"
"Your goldfish crackers, I know woman, I live with you."
"Love you too babe."
"You can take your own luggage downstairs."
Alison laughed knowing damn well that that wasn't going to happen.
And she was right.
Emily made pancakes for Ali and put together a shake for herself. Then she got dressed lazily in joggers, a think tank and a light jacket with her old Nikes and a baseball cap. As Alison was still putting on the finishing touches on her makeup, Emily hauled all their luggage and carry-ons downstairs and called the cab.
She checked her watch...
"Ali, it's 5:30, we're going to be late if you don't hurry."
"Oh, now I'm the one being rushed."
"Stop bickering, c'mon."
"Stop bickering," Ali mocked, "you sound like a nagging wife already."
Emily was too busy laughing to really hear what Alison said, "what was that you little baby?"
"Uh," suddenly Ali's head popped out behind the wall in the upstairs hall and she looked down the flight of stairs at Em, "you didn't hear me?"
"No, why? Should I have though," Em quirked a brow.
"No, no," Ali answered a little too quickly, "I didn't say anything."
"Uh huh," Emily squinted her eyes and shrugged, "if you say so."
"I'm saying so," Ali nodded, walking down the stairs and scooping up her shoes from the converted workout room downstairs, right next to their office room.
"Well then, are we all ready to go?" Emily was now too giddy with excitement to question Ali any further.
Alison's chest fell in relief and a grin spread across her face, "of course I'm ready, I've been wanting for this for a long time," she said, smiling harder when she realized the words had a double meaning still unbeknownst to Emily.
"Then let's fly baby, Paris is the one waiting for us now."
x-x-x-x-x
"How long is the flight going to be," Ali complained once they were finally settled into their more than comfortable first class seats in the airplane.
"Why are you complaining? It's not like we're crammed back there," Emily jested with her thumb.
"Wait who said I was complaining?"
"Um, one, you're making that face, and two you sound like you're 5 years old."
"Well excuse me miss know-it-all, but I was 'complaining' because I don't think I'm going to want to get out of this chair when we land."
Emily shook her head, "I should have known."
"Go ahead, take your palm to your forehead."
"I swear you and Hanna are related."
"Eh, it's because we've been friends forever."
"No, it's because you two can both be super ridiculous."
"But you love us, so stop saying it like you wish we'd change."
"I don't wish that," Emily confirmed.
"Good."
"And I do love you guys."
"I know," Alison patted Emily's thigh next to her, "but you love me more."
Emily smiled, "you're evil you know?"
"How, it's true."
"I love you both okay, in different ways, but I feel wrong saying I love you more."
"But you do love me more, Em. So say it. Hanna's feelings won't be hurt."
Emily shook her head, "I'm not getting out of this one am I?"
Alison pretended to be stuck thinking but ultimately they both knew what the answer was, "no."
"Okay, fine," Em sighed, defeated, "I do love you more. I love you more than anything I could ever want in life, more than my job and profession and even more than pizza," she joked at the end.
"Oh wow, this is a major break though for our relationship Em...more than pizza!"
"Ha ha," Em said sarcastically, "shutup."
"No, seriously, you said more than pizza, this is the real deal, I think we should move in together."
"Really, so the house we bought together doesn't count?"
"Nope, not after this whole pizza thing."
"Alison, shut up," Emily whispered closer to the blonde's ear. She said it with so much love that it did shut Ali up. How, she didn't know. Nothing about it was romantic...until Emily leaned in closer and snaked her hand behind Ali's head.
"One kiss before take off?"
"Just one?"
"For now," Emily smirked.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
Emily leaned in, closer the gap between them when someone across the isle next to them cleared their throat, "eh hem, excuse me."
Alison had the window seat - after a long debate with Emily - so she looked over the brunette's shoulder at an older lady with a stern look on her face.
"Um, yes?"
Emily turned too and faced the woman, "can we help you with something m'am?"
"Yes actually."
"Mom, stop it," a younger teenage girl groaned beside her. She was nearest the isle, trying to stop her mother who sat beside her from opening her mouth, "you're being rude."
"You watch your mouth, Karen."
"Um, what is this about?" Ali asked, trying to get to the bottom of why she was so rudely interrupted.
"This is about the two of you."
"The two of us," Emily repeated as a question.
"Yes," the woman said all matter-of-factly, with her pointed nose upturned.
"Okay, well what is it we can help you with?"
The daughter, Karen, slid further down into her seat and begged her mom not to say anything.
"You can start by not doing inappropriate things in front of my children. You don't need to be showcasing what you are to the world in public, much much less when it's around such young and innocent minds."
"Excuse me," Emily said, quick to sit up and look at the woman harder. She was short, by the looks of it, with shoulder length reddish hair, beady brown eyes and a pointed nose that reminded Emily of a squirrel and she was looking at her and Ali like they were covered in filth. "What do you mean what I am?"
"Oh don't be like that, you know darn well what I mean. I have a 16 year old daughter and my son is 13, he's sitting over there and none of us appreciate what you're doing?"
"Actually," Ali spoke up, defensively, "we don't know what you mean."
"Mom, please let it go, they're not doing anything wrong."
The lady ignored her daughter and looked at Emily, "you and you're lady friend shouldn't be allowed to be showing that you're lesbian in front of people if it makes them uncomfortable."
"I'm sorry and who are you? We shouldn't show our what? Our lesbianism? Is that it? You think it's like a little name tag or something that you'd like us to take off so you're more comfortable?" Emily raised her voice now and others were starting to notice. A stewardess was just making her way over too, "excuse me, is everything alright here?"
"No, it's not," Ali answered, "I think we were just being harassed."
"Yes, we were and we still are, this woman here is saying I shouldn't kiss my girlfriend in public because I'm gay."
"Um," the flight attendant said standing straighter.
"What," Emily was fuming now, "is there some rule about air travel that prohibits a kiss on this plane? Or is it just for lesbians?"
"No, m'am, there is no rule."
"Okay then," Emily huffed.
"You can't let her and her friend do that here, I demand to change seats," the woman nearly shouted.
"Mom, calm down already, they weren't doing anything wrong."
"You should listen to your daughter lady, she knows what year it is."
"I will not listen to you tell me what I should do."
"And neither will I," Emily said firmly. Alison was too upset to really say anything, it reminded her of all the stories Em would tell her and even the times she face with Emily when they were younger and together. It seemed to get better, but nothing like this had happened since college really.
"I have been told to be ashamed of what I am since I could remember by people like you, I have tried to change, I have been bullied, whispered about and victimized all for loving someone that people like you say I shouldn't and that I can not. And for what? Because it's a sin? When is love a sin? Oh, it is when it makes close-minded, insensitive jerks like you uncomfortable?"
Emily continued, gathering the attention of most of the small section of first class passengers now. "Let me tell you what uncomfortable feels like, it feels like this. A little girl who cries herself to sleep because she thinks something is wrong with her uncomfortable. A kid who thinks that they're being punished and will never be accepted is uncomfortable. Growing up lying to yourself and hiding and being afraid to tell your parents about who you are because you'll think that they'll love you less is fucking uncomfortable."
Emily was picking up momentum. Her heart was racing, palms sweating and Ali was right there watching her with pride in her eyes. Some people were even encouraging her, "you tell her sweetheart," some man said from a few rows behind her.
"I was that kid, I've been uncomfortable my whole life. Then I'm a girl who realizes who I am and what I am and that I can't change it and still I lie to everyone. That's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is falling in love with someone when it feels so right yet there's still so many people making me feel guilty, telling me it's wrong. That is uncomfortable, to grow up being shunned by society for loving someone - which is something no one can control. It's not a button I can - or any of my 'kind' - can turn off for the likes of people...like you," Emily said with her own disgust and hatred.
"And right now, I'm sitting in this nice plane with the woman I'm madly in love with, finally heading on a vacation we've been waiting for since we were fifteen so I'm actually feeling pretty damn comfortable," Emily patted the seat beneath her with this sarcastic smile on her face, "therefore, I think I can do whatever the fuck I want, and if it bugs you, close your damn eyes."
"Ugh," the woman gasped, shocked, "you can't talk to me that way!" She was looking at the flight attendant for help but she pretended not to see the woman, instead, doing another part of her job and checking that the carry on's were all secure. "I didn't come on this plane to be harassed," the woman shrieked, "and you may think I'm being homophobic but-,"
"Phobia is a term used to describe a fear," Emily cut her off, "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a fear. You're not afraid...You? You're just an asshole," Emily shrugged her shoulders and turned away from the lady after cheers and laughter erupted from most of the first class cabin.
The lady opened her mouth but when her mouth, but when her own daughter snickered, she turned her attention to the teen instead, "do not laugh. As soon as we land, I'm filing a complaint and -"
"And what mom? She's right, you are being an asshole-,"
"How dare you say-,"
"Yeah, yeah," Karen, the girl, put earphones in her ear and closed her eyes, "save it. Just glad that I'm going to spend summer with dad."
The woman continued to mumble obscenities to herself and throw glares at everyone but no one paid her any mind anymore.
Emily laughed and turned back to face Alison who was by now, completely proud, a little turned on and still angry at the lady. Still angry that society altogether hadn't opened their eyes, their minds and their hearts to the fact - yes, fact, not an idea - that the reality is that love really is love.
"Ugh, I need a damn shot now," Emily huffed.
"Now who sounds like Hanna?"
This made Em laugh but still, she was upset. Ali knew this.
"Hey, Em, it's okay babe, I'm proud of you."
Emily's muscles relaxed a bit and her expression got less tense, "ugh, it's just, I'm tried of hearing how wrong people think it is for us to be together."
"I know, love," Ali grabbed Em's hand in comfort, "I know."
"I know you know, but it's not just us you know. I was lucky. I was blessed that I came out and had support. My mom took a while but she still loved me. It's not like that for everyone, we both know it's not."
Ali could see Em's heart weighing down and she wanted to ram her fist into the pointed nose of the that-
"There are people terrified of admitting to whoever they feel they have to admit to that they're gay or lesbian or bi or however they decide to say it, it doesn't matter, it shouldn't be like this."
Alison lifted Emily's hand and kissed it, then placed it on her cheek, to nuzzle her face in Em's palm.
"If only everyone had a heart as big as yours."
"Yeah, we'd all be overly emotional."
"No, the world would be a better place."
"Yeah, well, the world isn't a better place just because I have a big heart."
Alison shook her head, "mine is."
A little silence passed and Emily finally broke into a smile, "that was smooth."
"Like peanut butter," Ali laughed, leaning over the arm rest between them.
"Mmm, my favorite."
Alison smirked and leaned closer, "like me."
"Yeah, like you, you're my favorite girl."
"I'm your only girl," Ali corrected.
"I know babe, precisely why you're also my favorite."
"Damn right."
"Now come here," Emily grinned, "I still want that kiss."
Alison nodded, happy to oblige and leaned in again, sighing, "I love you," just before their lips met.
Emily pulled away and sat against the seat, hands interlocked with Ali's, "I love you more."
"And in French?" Ali amused.
"Je t'aime plus," Emily laughed.
"You cheater."
"You poorsport."
In the background, they could hear the woman still asking to change seats.
"Ugh," Ali groaned, returning to her first question, "how long is the flight again babe?"
"Why? Are you complaining now," Emily teased.
"Maybe."
"Well," Em laughed, "if you want me to be precise, its 7 hours and 46 minutes."
"Ugh, well if she doesn't shut up, I just may have to kill her."
"Shhh," Emily Eskimo kissed Ali, "the killer nickname is for me remember?"
Ali smiled sheepishly, "okay fine, but if she opens her mouth again-,"
"She's not going to ruin this for us okay?"
"Okay," Ali nodded, trying to calm down, "just about 8 hours anyways, we can just sleep."
"Yeah, 8 hours until it's our start of forever," Emily whispered lovingly, referring again, back to that very first memory they had about going to Paris with each other.
It warmed Ali all over and if she could she would swear that she could feel the abundant flux of dopamine and serotonin from her brain. And she thought Emily was the doctor.
"Just 7 hours and 46 minutes," Ali teased, correcting herself and Emily, "I don't want to wait a minute more."
AN: hey all, I know it's been a while and I know this upload is a little short, but I changed the chapter and the last bit on the plane it was a last minute add-in that I did in memory and dedication to one of my friends and teammates from high school. Her name was Karen and although not portrayed as the Karen in this chapter, I still thought it would be nice to include her name somewhere here and semblance of her personality (she was always tuning out the chaotic world around her with music).
My friend Karen was killed in a car accident recently and she was the only person I ever talked to about some deep issues that I was having in high school. She was on her way to her sister's birthday party last week when a truck driven by a drunk driver t-boned her and her car rolled. She died at the hospital from internal bleeding and severe trauma. She deserved better.
She was the first person I ever told that I might be interested in girls and she was 100% okay with that, that was also when she told me that she was gay. Her family didn't even know.
I was close to Karen and although we kind of drifted apart the last year in high school, we stayed in touch in and out since graduation. She went to the Army so I would barely talk to her but I was proud of her for going, I know it was something she really wanted.
Just a few months ago, when she was allowed to talk, she told me when she was coming home that she would finally come out to her parents.
I was even more proud of her. She had been scared and bullied for a long time without her family knowing and I hated that she felt victimized just for being exactly who she was always meant to be.
This chapter and Emily's emotions was just a very small piece of the way I feel about the way the LGBT community is treated sometimes. I had to retype and edit and take out so much because I didn't want it to turn too personal, but I gave up trying to make it perfect and I just ended up here. I didn't want to include any fluff or humor but Karen would make me do it. She'd tell me to stop being a little crybaby ass and just do it. I could hear her funny laugh and her voice telling me so what, "write whatever the hell you want, it's good and if you don't think so, well I'd still read it," she told me that all the time.
It just makes me angry and upset that there are good people out there who feel that who they are and who they love is being categorized as wrong or a sin. We don't need a label to everything, no one is a judge of what is right or wrong and no one has the right to tell you who you can and cannot love.
So fuck society. To anyone who has felt that being themselves wasn't enough, fuck society and the 'norms' that brainwashed everyone. Love is love, love is what's right, it doesn't matter who it's with.
Karen didn't get to tell the world who she loved because of how afraid she was of the world's reaction. I go to sleep with a heavy heart knowing she is not the only one who felt that way, and that there are more.
I see ignorant people all the time, I see their looks and whispered remarks and if I could I would confront them, but I can't teach the world to have a heart.
So again, all I can say to those who have caused anyone harm because they were/are ignorant, fuck you.
Fuck that driver who didn't call a cab to get home, my friend isn't coming home because of you. Fuck the people like the made up lady on this plane who are not so made up here in the real world. Fuck society for being "homophobic." What is it that they are they so "scared" of? People's happiness? Fuck the misogyny and sexism, and the fake and unrealistic body images every boy and girl strive after. Fuck this idea of being someone we're not to please people who's opinions you ultimately shouldn't give a damn about. Fuck the people in our lives who ever made us feel like we weren't enough, or didn't fit in, fuck them.
Some shit in life just isn't fair.
I've cried too many times for all the injustices I've witnessed.
I love you Karen, I miss you. I have to take a rein check on that 1-on-1. But I'll be seeing you in heaven's court, save me a seat like always.
Love, Lina xoxo