Arthur was pushing his horse at a hard gallop as he entered Camelot's central court. There was no sign of Merlin in the courtyard.
Arthur dismounted while the animal was still trotting and threw the reins to a waiting stable girl, not even glancing to see if she caught them.
He ran straight to the Court physician's office. For the second time that day, he burst in uninvited. But Arthur was as scared as he was angry. His imperious tones from this morning somehow eluded him, and he almost sounded as if there were something in his throat as he called, "Merlin?"
The rooms were empty. There was not even Gaius to calm his fears.
"Dammit!" He swore and left. He raced through the courtyard with his head down, his mind whirling.
Across the courtyard Gaius was returning from a delivery. Arthurs's silhouette caught his eye. The physician watched, silently, as the Prince disappeared into the palace, obviously agitated. And he wondered.
In his chambers, Arthur paced. He had never faced anything like this before. What should he do? What *could* he do?
He tried to calm himself and think logically.
If Merlin were here in the city, then at least the prince would know that his servant was safe, and that the visions were indeed evil. There. That was a good first step.
He sent a chambermaid to find Merlin. "Don't stop until you find him. Ask everyone."
He wouldn't let himself think about what he would do if Merlin wasn't found.
Arthur refused to talk to Gwen or anyone else about what was bothering him. He spent the next few hours in a fouler and fouler mood. Merlin continued to not be found.
It was mid-afternoon when Arthur heard a knock on the door.
"Come."
Gwaine's head appeared in the doorway. His usual prankster face looked more somber today. "Sire, are you looking for Merlin?"
Arthur felt his breathing speed up. Was there hope? "Yes."
"Sire, I wanted to tell you when I last - when we all last saw him. The patrol. Me, Leon, Mordred, Elyan, Percival. He was with us two nights ago. We all went to sleep together-"
"And?" Arthur had no patience for this to be drawn out. He felt his hands grip the table too tightly.
"Um - he was gone when we awoke yesterday morning, sire. Mordred told us he left in the middle of the night. Said Merlin said he had work to do, sire." Gwaine looked down at his gauntlets, a sad look on his face. He knew this was not good news. "No one has seen him since."
Arthur's vision clouded, and he felt his heartbeat in his ears. He sank back into a chair. It was true, then. Merlin was missing. Perhaps he was already dead.
"Dammit!" he hissed again, slamming hist fist into the wall.
In spite of his instincts, Gwaine tried to hope for the best. "He may only be gathering herbs, sire. Or perhaps he went to visit one of the outer villages?"
"No." Arthur's voice was flat. It was time to face the truth. "No, Merlin's in trouble."
At least now he knew what he had to do.
"Assemble the knights in the council room. And bring Gaius, too."
Merlin felt death lying next to him as the sun grew high in the sky.
It was too cold and cloudy of a season for the sun to be much help, but each time its warmth was able to reach him, he was thankful. He was beginning to realize that these were his last hours. He would not live to feel the sun on his face another day.
Overnight, a weight had settled in his chest. It made his breath come in little gasps, and there didn't seem to be enough air.
He wanted to move. To roll over. To get up and leave this roof and return to those he loved.
But he was too weak.
He could not raise a bloodstained hand. He could not even brush away the tear that found its way down his cheek before it was lost in the dust.
I'm so sorry, Arthur, he thought.
I am supposed to protect you. I am supposed to help you be the king you are destined to be. But somehow I made a terrible mess of things. It was all fine until yesterday. Yesterday ruined everything.
Gods, I'm such an idiot. How could I let this happen?
All this time, all my efforts, coming to naught. So many times I was sure it was the end; but perhaps this time it really will be.
Mine.
He felt his head spinning, the dizziness dragging him down. He had no strength to fight it. He drifted. He had no idea how much time had passed.
His thoughts wandered...past Arthur...to all of the people he had loved, in his short, wild, wonderful, terrifying life.
He thought of his mother. His father. Freya. Gaius, and Gwaine. Elyan and Percival. And sweet, smart, brilliant Gwen. All so dear to him.
He let their faces fill his head. He took comfort in knowing that these were good people, and he had loved them. And he loved Arthur. That damned spoiled clotpole had really turned out well. He was a good King.
If only I could have lived long enough to help magic return to Camelot...
Goodbye, he thought, to each of you. I'll -
The thought was never finished. Darkness filled his mind and he went limp.
Leaves blew around his body as he lay, still and tiny. He was entirely alone. The sun had forsaken him and the day was grey and unforgiving. His blood stained the stones beneath him.
Arthur looked solemnly at all of his most trusted friends, and his beloved queen, as they sat around the council table.
He cleared his throat. His hands felt clammy. He took a breath and made himself be a king.
"I have brought you here today because...because I don't know what to do."
Pause.
"I have reason to believe that...Merlin is wounded and needs our help."
Eyebrows went up. Voices chattered questions. The room grew very noisy - Arthur silenced them with a hand.
"It is very hard for me to tell you this, because I have none of the sort of proof that would usually provide us with the information we need. All we know is, he snuck off from your patrol two nights ago when you were *supposed* to be keeping him safe."
He allowed himself a shadow of a glower of disappointment towards the Knights, but just a shadow. He knew they were already blaming themselves.
He put a neutral expression back on his face. "Since then, he has not been seen...except..."
Arthur paused. He did not want to say it. He did not want to talk about this. What if he were wrong? What if he, Arthur, were the one who was enchanted? What if the vision was not real?
He forced himself to swallow his pride. Merlin was in trouble. A good King would not be scared to tell the truth. And yet it was so hard to say the next words.
But then he felt Gwen's hand gently move onto his.
No matter how much hard labor she had done before becoming queen, the softness of her hands always surprised him. He turned his head to look at her. To get strength from her.
Gwaine could not wait for Arthur to collect his thoughts. He had to burst in. "Except what?"
Arthur swallowed. "Um...
"This...is hard for me. But I feel sure that...sorcery is involved."
The room buzzed again with reactions. Arthur held up his hand for quiet.
"In the past twelve hours,..." You can do this, he thought. Just tell them.
"I...I have had two visions of Merlin."
Gwen gasped and he instantly wished he'd confided in her hours ago. What a fool he was sometimes.
He had to raise his hand again to be heard.
"I have seen him, once last night, and once this morning. If these visions are to be believed, he is very badly hurt. I expect if we don't find him today he will not last the night."
Arthur paused, feeling desperate and uneasy.
"I...I am not an expert in sorcery. Or visions. If I were sure that they were real, I would have planned a search party hours ago. But we cannot ignore the fact that in this kingdom sorcery has only ever been a source of death and despair."
His voice grew more confident.
"I cannot swear to you that these visions show the truth. I cannot swear that Merlin still lives or even that he has not been dead since he left your camp two days ago. Perhaps he is not wounded at all. Perhaps there is a sorcerer who wishes us to think so, to draw us into a trap. Or perhaps Merlin *is* hurt, and dying, and it is *still* a trap."
Arthur sighed.
"Regardless, I have brought you here to tell you that I intend to go after him."
"But Sire!" Sir Leon could not hold himself back any longer. "Camelot can not afford to have her king led into a trap by a sorcerer. Morgana must not win. You must reconsider."
Elyan jumped in. "You must send us."
"Yes." "Yes, send us. We'll bring Merlin back safe."
Arthur silenced them all. "Yes," he agreed. "You are all correct.
"Let me tell you, then, why I am going.
He swallowed.
"If this is a trap, then it is meant for me. I doubt this sorcerer - be it Morgana or another - has any interest in any of you. Which means after she kills you, she'll just come after me again.
"What she does to my subjects, she does to me. I am not -"
Arthur stopped himself. Even after all he'd suffered, he would not make public criticism of his father.
He tried again. "I won't send you all to die needlessly. It seems I go, or no one does. And I -"
He paused again.
"Merlin is very dear to all of us, and a good friend to me. I have thought long and hard today about the risk I will take to rescue him, and I have decided that he would do no less for me. And - and - as his King, I cannot sit here safely when clearly it is only my presence that will satisfy this - " his mouth took an ugly, hard line -" this sorcerer."
He turned to Gaius. "Gaius, I should like -"
But in an instant the room went black-
and then grey -
- and Arthur was outdoors, on a roof, and Merlin lay dying before him.
*No!* Arthur tried to scream but all was silence.
He saw his friend's still body and bloodied clothes. He saw the sunken eyes, the shallow breathing. And yet Arthur couldn't move, he couldn't help, he couldn't -
He blinked and found himself back in the council chambers, hunched over the table. He was drenched in sweat. His heart was ringing in his chest like the great warning bells. The room felt tilted, somehow.
He struggled to calm his frantic breathing. He reached for Gwen's hand - and she snatched it back.
Startled, he turned to look at her face.
She was white with horror, and breathing as heavily as he. She seemed to not recognize him for a moment. Then her eyes returned to his, and he saw her return to herself.
"Arthur!" She cried aloud. "Arthur!" He found himself folding her into his arms, unheeding of anything else in the room. He pressed his lips into her hair, and held her tight. He felt her shaking in his arms.
"Arthur," she whispered. "Arthur, I saw him. Merlin. He said goodbye to me. Arthur, he's dying, it's true! Of course we must do something!"
Arthur pulled back from her and stared in her face. "You had - you saw - it's not just me?"
"No!" She grabbed his arm and touched his cheek. She was still trembling. "No, not just you."
"Sire, look around this room." It was Gaius' voice, clear and calm, cutting though the pandemonium.
Arthur looked. He saw six terrified faces.
Four knights with their hands on the bolts of their swords, ready to fight invisible foes. One court physician looking as somber and alarmed as Arthur had ever seen. And Gwen's face, as her breathing slowed, still so worried.
And he realized.
"You - you all? Just now...?"
"Yes," said Gaius. "It seems pretty clear that we all just saw Merlin."
They all began to chatter.
"On a roof."
"No, he was in a courtyard."
"No, it was definitely a roof."
"Is he dead?"
"I dunno, I felt like he was saying goodbye."
"I fear he's dead. He looked dead."
Arthur shushed them all. And with a feeling of relief he knew one thing: he was no longer uncertain.
Knowing that others had seen it made it real. He was not crazy, or enchanted and alone. He was more determined than ever to ride out and find Merlin, wherever he lay.
Arthur began to bark orders.
"We have four hours of daylight left. I ride as soon as I can get a horse. I have no idea what I will face. Percival, I ask you to stay in the castle, supervise the guards, and stay sharp. Who knows what may return from this mission.
"I ask for volunteers. No one will be punished who does not ride with me."
Not a one stepped back.
For the first time that day, Arthur smiled.