Matt returned a few days later with Robin and the three kids. Jessica was instilled in the cradle next to his mom's desk. Crane relinquished the phone duties happily. After fixing lunch for everyone, they all sat around the table, munching down on sandwiches and chips as they chatted about the baby and other things. Matt looked at Crane and then finally spoke up.
"Hey Crane, I was doing some research on the internet and saw you're a recipient of a Purple Heart and the CMH." He knew that such listings of honors were accessible via the internet but he hadn't really gone out to verify. The conversation at the table grew completely still as all eyes looked to her.
She turned those gray-blue eyes towards him as she became completely unreadable. She was silent. He knew she couldn't deny it since the CMH was an honor and something not to be taken lightly. She set her sandwich down, swallowing the bite she had just taken before the question. "Yes." was all she answered in return but her eyes had gone lifeless.
Izzy wowed softly, "A CMH…and the Purple Heart? You never told us." he stated.
Crane flicked her eyes towards Izzy and then back to Matt. "Saved my platoon from being taken during a raid. Intel was false and things went sideways. I made a call that got them out." She stated, leaving it at that.
Cody picked up on the subtle change in her body language and her sudden coldness and unemotional attitude. "If you'll excuse me…." She stated as she stood up, leaving her sandwich still on her plate. As she walked past Matt, he stopped her with a hand on her arm.
She hadn't quite come to a stop after his hand had touched her arm. In the split second it took for his fingers to tighten on her wrist, her other hand struck his arm so quickly that no one had time to react. Matt let out a yelp and winced as his fingers went numb and tingly, a look of shock on his face as he shook his hand. Cody was half out of his seat before it even registered with the others what she'd done. "I will say this only once. Do not touch me without my permission." There was no emotion in her voice, nothing but cold calculation and the verbal equivalent of a slap to the face. She turned and quickly left the kitchen and if it hadn't been for the bells on the front door, no one would have heard her leave.
Matt looked back at the others sitting around the table, everyone's stunned faces looking back at him. Cody sat back down since the threat to his brother had passed. Matt shook his hand a little more and felt the numbness going away. Whatever she had done to him was quite effective. He'd lost all control of his hand long enough for her to pull herself away without any further violence. Izzy was the first to speak up, "What was that all about?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
Matt looked at Robin, then at the others. "She covered the exit while her platoon got out, though three didn't make it. Killed on the spot. When backup arrived to take the area, they found that she'd been taken somewhere else by the opposition. She was very close to death by the time they found her due to extreme injuries and blood loss. She spent a year in recovery and another doing physical therapy. The rest of her story is hers to tell but those that did this to her are now out of prison due to some technicality. Two men. One has apparently sworn to finish what he started five years ago with her. That's one of the reasons she's kept her distance from all of us." Matt was quiet for a few moments before speaking up again, "I'll ask that you don't bother her about it. Just keep your eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary or out of place for the next few months at least."
Everyone nodded but the conversation at the table came to a stop and the silence was only broken by Jessica letting her intentions be known that she was awake and hungry. Robin got up to take care of her while the rest sat around and stared at their plates, replaying the last ten minutes in their minds. Finally, one by one, each got up and went about their business.
--
She had left the station as quickly as possible, picking up a radio to clip to her belt and her coat. She took nothing else as she headed into the hills around the station, simply needing to get away from everyone at the moment and the staring eyes. She would never forget those few days she'd been in their hands. It ate at her stomach and nerves at times when she was worn down and tired. She tried kept busy at the station because if she did nothing, she'd have time to think about it, even five and a half years later.
She read to keep her mind active or worked on puzzles until her eyes were too heavy to keep open at night which usually resulted in her sleeping with the beside lamp on which helped sometimes when she'd wake from the nightmares that crawled through her brain when she was upset. She had spent the last few nights since meeting with Miguel and learning her tormenters were out of prison only four years after she'd put them in there.
She walked through the woods, the snow still visible in the shade where the sun wasn't far enough in the sky to melt it. She did her best to avoid areas that would leave tracks and to walk lightly. She didn't care where she went but she knew she needed to find a place where she could take her frustrations out in private and being stared as if she were a freak. After walking several miles, she finally found a stream that was flowing high, the edges littered with rocks that had washed in and had been deposited by the glaciers a hundred thousand years ago.
She reached down and picked up a stone, looking it over before throwing it as hard as she could with a grunt of effort. She bent down and picked up another one, testing its weight in her hand before throwing that one too. This pattern continued for several hours as she switched throwing arms when one grew tired. She had gone from throwing the rocks out into the forest across the stream to throwing them against a large bolder upstream and watching them explode or shoot off into another direction. The bolder remained untouched except for a few nicks it took. Her mind worked over and over, telling her she had to be like that bolder but the rest of her told her she couldn't continue like this.
The sun was beating down, warming up everything around her. As some point she had taken off her jacket and her sweatshirt, revealing the t-shirt under it. Her skin held a tan from years of working out in the sun. The only parts that wouldn't tan were the large scars on her arms. Her arms were muscled from the workouts and the training she did along with her platoon. She picked up another rock and with a grunt, threw it as hard as she could upstream. She didn't feel it was safe to scream out her frustrations without someone hearing and coming to investigate, so giving a good grunt with each throw helped to relieve some of the tension.
She took a break to assess herself mentally and physically. She was sweating and her arms were trembling a little with the effort of repeated throws. She didn't know how long she'd been here but she knew it was over two hours. She looked upward at the sky and squinted towards the sun and then looked down at her shadow. She sighed and knew she had responsibilities to attend to that she couldn't ignore. It was the one thing that kept her going. She pulled on her sweatshirt before she could cool down too fast and then when to the stream to wash her hands. The water was near freezing but it felt good, felt tangible, something she could hold in her mind.
She stood, pulling on her coat after wiping her hands off on her pants and began retracing her steps back to the cabin. The station had been rather subdued after Crane had taken off. They noted she'd taken a radio so they knew she wouldn't go out of radio distance if they needed her. Thankfully, the weather was just cold enough to keep people off the mountain yet, but warm enough to melt the snow, making things a muddy wet mess that kept even some of the most intrepid adventurers within a safe distance. Cody watched the skies as the sun began to set and was about to put on his jacket to start tracking her when the bells on the front door rang, causing everyone to look up.
Crane stood in the doorway, looking a little more calm than she had earlier when she'd left. Most of the rangers looked away and back to whatever they had been doing. Three of them were in a game of poker. Matt and Robin were in their own private quarters, leaving only Cody as the odd man out. She wiped off her boots before she kicked them off and set them against the rack with the others. She didn't say anything as she put the radio back in the charger rack after turning it off. She headed up to her bunkroom to get cleaned up before it was her turn to do the dishes after supper.
Matt and Robin came back from their area a few minutes later after putting Jessica down for a nap. Matt caught up to Cody as he was heading upstairs, "Is Crane back?" he asked.
Cody nodded, "Yeah" and looked up the stairs towards the room at the end of the hall before continuing on to his bunk to get cleaned up for supper. It was his turn to cook.
A few minutes later he heard a knock on another door, the door being opened and then shut. Cody got the sense that Matt had gone to talk to Crane about the incident at lunch.
Crane wasn't surprised by the knock on the door. She was expecting it and she got up and went over to open the door up. Matt entered and shut the door quietly behind him. He watched her for a moment and then went over to sit on the bottom bunk bed. He was quiet for a moment as she stood at ease near the door, across the room from him.
Matt finally looked up at her. "About this afternoon, I'm sorry." He stated evenly.
Crane watched him for a moment longer, then pulled out a desk chair and turned it backwards, straddling it. She crossed her arms on the top and put her chin on them. "You've never been in the military Matt, though the Rangers do have some structure about them, its not like living with twenty or more other soldiers and being a female to boot." She was quiet for a few moments as she gathered her thoughts.
When Matt shook his head, she continued, "I was one of the few women that went into the Marine Boot Camp that round that made it out and with high marks. I had something going for me and that was the fact that I'd spent most of my life working cattle and horses on my Uncles ranch. I had to learn early how to be tough and pull my own weight. But because I'm a woman, I also learned I had to prove my worth over and over and over again when a man with the same qualifications only had to do it once and he was set. I learned how to fly choppers since we owned one to use to herd cattle and check on the ranch quickly without having to saddle a horse." She closed her eyes a little, remembering the hard life she'd lived on the ranch.
"I went into the military when my Uncle died and his son inherited the ranch. His son was a city slicker and only ever came back to the ranch to borrow more money from my uncle. He had some grand scheme to open it up as a dude ranch for tourists but last I heard, he'd wracked up so much debt that the bank seized the property and what stock was left." She frowned a little at the wall, her eyes distant.
She sighed a little and rubbed her eyes. "I learned a lot of things on the ranch from my dad, my uncle and all the other guys working cattle there. Most of them were vets from one branch of military or another. They thought it was great fun to teach me new things like how to fight, how to defend myself and how to unarm opponents. It was a game to them to try and sneak attack me or catch me off guard." She smirked a little and saw Matt chuckle a little, only imagining what it must have been like.
"So to say I made waves in Boot Camp was an understatement. I worked my way up through the ranks slowly since I had to repetitively prove my worth over and over. I had just become Gunnery Sergeant when my platoon was sent to Iraq. That was late 2002. Within six months, I'd discovered a couple of foreigners and Americans that were smuggling drugs through the system. I reported my findings and on the command of those higher up, coordinated an attack with the intel we were getting. Bad intel, bad all around. They knew we were coming." She took a deep breath and looked at Matt.
He could tell this was getting difficult to recount but he remained quiet. He looked up a little as she continued, "Our point man was first through the door as we surrounded the building but the door was on a trap spring. It would slam shut as soon as you went inside and there was no way to get the door open from inside. I don't remember all the details but the first two guys through died. Several more were pinned down and I went over and got the door open, wedging it with my foot, using it as cover. I got the men out and was about to let the door snap shut when a grenade exploded behind me, throwing me past the door and into the room…"
She grew quiet, her forehead on her arms as she got her heart rate under control but her mind raced with what it could remember. She took another deep breath and then looked up at Matt. "I don't remember much after that except pain and flashes of sanity just after they'd pumped me full of adrenalin to keep me alive and awake. After awhile I became numb to it all no matter what they did." She swallowed and looked away. "My platoon found me and it was all the commanding officers could do to keep my men from killing my captors right there."
Matt looked at her worriedly but still kept silent, letting her take her own pace. It took a few minutes for her to get herself under control internally. Finally she looked at the floor over the edge of the back of the chair. "Matt, I shouldn't be here. I was almost bled out. I had no skin left on my back and my body was so strung out on adrenaline that I actually went through DT because of the sudden lack of it. My leg…" she grew quiet. "It took a year for me to be able to get out of the hospital. It took another year of long days of physical and psychiatric therapy to get me to be a functioning human being again. When I was released for duty again because of the progress I'd made and that I could pass any physical test they put me through, I was put in charge of a Med Evac troop. I flew choppers for two more tours in Iraq before finally looking to get out."
She finally spoke quietly, "That was five and a half years ago. I still can barely stand to have anyone touch me…even doctors. How can I be a human, afraid to wear a t-shirt or a fancy dress because the scars on my body are so hideous that people do nothing but stare and look at me with fear or pity. I don't know if I can ever be normal again." She was quiet then for awhile as she looked at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I came with baggage. I wasn't forthcoming with you when we met the first time." She stated, looking slightly ashamed.
For one moment, Matt saw a crack in her cold ice armor that was holding back the flood waters. She swallowed and it was quickly gone. He sighed softly, moving to where he was facing her completely. His elbows were on his knees and his hands folded out in front of him. "Crane, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. You are a fantastic Ranger. In these past months, you've shown us that you can fly a chopper better than anyone else I've ever met. You know how to handle emergency situations with efficiency and a calm mental attitude when everything else is going to pot around you. To be honest, you're more qualified to run this place than I am."
He was quiet for a moment as he looked at the floor then back up to her. "We're different Crane. We're a family. We look out and take care of one another. Up here in these extreme conditions, we have to. You proved yourself on the first day that you don't complain about what chores you're assigned to, that you are one hell of a pilot and you're a great cook. But you've kept everyone at arms length and though everyone respects your need for privacy, they really want to get to know you if you'd just let them."
He was quiet now as he looked at her. He looked back down the floor as she remained sitting, wrestling with her inner self. She looked back up at him. "There's something else you should know. Two months ago, two of the three men I put away got out of prison on a technicality some lawyer found in a loophole. One of them threatened to finish what he started before he went in." She swallowed a little, "I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me if he's able to track me down. I'm not afraid of him. On a bit more level playing field I'd be able to wipe the parking lot with him but he doesn't operate within known boundaries. And where one goes, so does the other. They'll hurt or kill anyone that's with me given half the chance."
Matt raised an eyebrow and watched her as she watched him. He nodded, "I honestly understand your fear on this. Cody and I have been in more scrapes with people out for revenge than I can even count. My dad didn't make enemies very often but when he did, they usually had family that were willing to try and destroy dad and us along with him." He smiled a little. "So I'm used to double crosses and issues with wanting to keep your distance. But we want you to be a part of our team. We need you like we need any of the other rangers. There's no need to keep proving yourself. We trust in your actions and your judgments, but we also want to get to know you better."
She looked away for a moment, laying her forehead on her arms that cradled the back of the chair. She remained still, her heartbeat making the only noise she could hear. Matt was silent, respecting her need to deal with what was going on inside. Finally she let out a sigh of frustration. He knew she was having difficulty coming to terms with this.
The dinner bell rang just about then and Matt stood, "Dinner's ready." He held out a hand to her. "We honestly want you to become part of this family, Gunny. If these guys come looking for you, they'll have to deal with all of us and there's power in numbers." He said, his grip firm but warm.
Crane blinked again, "Gunny? Where the hell did that come from….?" She asked, completely caught off guard for once.
Matt shrugged, "Well if you hung out around the guys more often, you'd know that's the nickname they've dubbed you with. Easier to say Gunny than Crane. Don't see how, but there it is."
Crane blinked and then blinked again and for the first time, Matt actually saw her smile a little more than a smirk. She even chuckled a little. He normally would tease someone about the fact that they had actually laughed but he felt he'd gone far enough for now and simply smiled in return.
She had taken his hand and returned the grip. "When you're used to distancing yourself from everything, it's hard to find that happy medium. I only ask for time and patience."
Matt nodded and headed out the door, back to the kitchen and the warmth of his friends and family. He knew she'd come around some day and didn't expect miracles but they now saw more eye to eye. He knew more about her and she knew where he stood as the leader and as a friend. It was as good of a start as any.