HELLO! Yes, this is the Jace chapter. CHAPTER 18 TO BE EXACT! This was honestly harder to write than I expected, but it was worth it in the end. Enjoy this my faithfuls.
LISTEN TO CHASING CARS ON A LOOP
JACE POV
"Where are we going?" I was waiting for that question, and I debated telling her something. Maybe a little hint, but the surprise on her face would be worth it.
"Our date isn't over yet." I replied, trying to keep her focused on me and not our surroundings. Of course, she looked out the window right as we passed Taki's. Damn.
"Oh." She laughed, and I couldn't help but smile at the realization on her face. She returned the gesture gladly.
A throat cleared, breaking our moment. I frowned for a fraction of a second, but I guess it was a good thing considering I should be looking at the road, not my beautiful… I don't know exactly what to call her… Yet. That just might change tonight (I hope).
"Let's start over." She turned to face Chris, "My name is Clary Fray. I'm this idiot's," She pointed to me, and I suppressed another smile, "best friend. Have been since birth… Sadly."
"Hey!" I shouted, lightly shoving her. Being the mature person Clary is, she stuck her tongue out at me.
"I originally came onto the show as an inside spy for Jace." "And no romantic intentions." She was quick to add the second thing, and I rolled my eyes.
"Mhm Suuuuuure." I dragged out, teasing her just to see her reaction.
"At least I didn't know I had 'romantic interest." She gave in a little, "And don't forget it was the same for you too, buddy." I fell silent instantly, even though I wanted to question the name. Buddy? Really?
"I really am gonna have to lie my ass off." Luckily, Chris said it in a joking tone, or we would pretty much be screwed. We stopped in the middle of the dark alley right in line with a sign that read Hotel Dumort in unlit letters. I lead the others through a hole in the wall which was carelessly patched with a layer of thin plastic.
"Uh… I think this is illegal." Chris's words wavered with nerves.
"It's okay." Clare was quick to comfort him, a smirk on her face that rivaled my own, "We've come up here all our lives." We climbed the many flights of stares until we reached the hatch that went to the roof Clary opened it, climbing above, but I stayed put, and Chris stopped behind me.
"I just need to talk to Chris quick." I offered the quick explanation.
"Okay…" She narrowed her eyes at me, and I hope she didn't notice me squirm as I shut the hatch quickly.
"What is it?" Chris looked at me with concern on his face, probably because I looked like I was about to crap myself. I couldn't form the words at first. It was almost too much to say, and I didn't know how to phrase it.
"I'mproposingtoClary…" The phrase came out as a jumbled collection of sounds, and Chris gave me a what the hell? look. I took a deep breath, composing myself, "I'm proposing to Clary."
For a second, he just stared, jaw dropped. He finally closed it, then opened it again, then closed it, and so on and so forth. I almost grabbed his shoulders and shook him. I had enough nerves as it was. I didn't need his… reaction to amp them up more.
"Congratulations." Chris finally settled on the one word, and it was enough to make a wide smile spread across my face.
"Can you record it?" I shifted from foot to foot, and he grinned.
"Of course," He replied, much to my pleasure.
I nodded in thanks, again not knowing what to say as I pushed the hatch up once again. Clary sat, feet dangling off the building in front of me. Her red hair was accented by the city lights as she stared into the distance. I'd seen this silhouette so many times, but it never looked as perfect as it did tonight.
I came to sit down next to her, but she stayed silent, still staring off in her own world. In just a second, I took in the chaos down below. The lights looked like candles that lit up the night, showing their brilliant colors off to the world. It was so enchanting and god I sound like a chick but it's true. Even Clary's paintings couldn't do the scene justice, and that was saying a lot.
"How can you guys do that?" I was shaken out of my thoughts by Chris's voice, and I turned to see him looking a stark white, his face drained of color.
"We've been coming up here since we were 10." Yet again, a smirk eerily similar to mine graced her face, "We've gotten used to it."
"Geez, we've done so may things up here. I can't even count." Memories flashed through my mind, good times, bad times, and times when we would lay here and just forget the world. But it was time to put my plan in motion, "Remember that night in ninth grade-"
"Oh god." She interrupted me, pressing her face into her hands, "We don't talk about it. Remember, it never happened." Oh but it did, Clare Bear. I laughed, hoping she couldn't here how the sound shook, and threw my arm over her shoulders. I pulled her into me so that her head rested comfortably on my chest.
"Chris deserves to know!" I yelled with fake confidence, "Why don't you tell him? You're better at storytelling than I am"
"Hold up." She pinned me with a flat stare, "You want Chris to know the most embarrassing story of my life, and you want me to tell it?"
"Yup." I grinned, getting up and brushing the dirt off my legs with slightly shaking hands. Ohshitohshitoshit it's coming soon.
"Ugh," She groaned, "I hate you,"
"No you don't." I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, moving to stand next to Chris before I popped the question then and there, unable to stand the anticipation.
"So. A long time ago… In a galaxy far far away." I glared at her, and she raised her hands, joy beginning to spark in her eyes. A weird feeling churned in my stomach. For the first time, I would hear how this went from her point of view.
"Okay, starting over," She began again, "When we were in ninth grade, one night, we decided to come up here…."
—-
9 Years Ago
"Why are girls so complicated?" I steered our conversation to what I'd been dying to talk about, staring up at the stars. I needed to vent. Bad.
"Who did you piss off this time?" Clary plopped down beside me, and I didn't have to take my eyes off the sky to imagine the glare she was obviously giving me.
"Well, last week, I kissed Sophie, you remember that, right?" She nodded in response to my question, "But today I kissed Jessamine, and Sophie totally flipped on me. I mean it's not like we were going out or anything, but Sophie got James to try and beat me up-"
"What the hell?!" She cut me off, just like I'd expected, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? What-"
"Calm down," It was my turn to interject to relieve her worries, "the tables turned on him. I gave him a shiner, but there wasn't any real damage.
"Jace!" She huffed, giving me a light kick, ""One, when you kiss a girl, she might have expectations for after that kiss. Dating for example. And two, fighting with James?! Why did you… Gah what I'm I gonna do with you?"
"Hey!" My tone grew defensive. It wasn't all my fault. I mean, I wasn't the one who went batshit crazy and ordered someone to beat a guy up. All I did was kiss the girl, "James was the one who came after me." She sighed.
"What would you have done if some guy played me like you played Sophia?" Of course, she made a point.
"Umm…" I racked my brain for an answer, vetoing any possible retort. None were enough to beat her logic, "I hate it when you're right." I wrapped my hand around her arm, tugging her to lie down next to me.
"Dating is too complicated." Clary turned to face me, her emerald eyes catching my golden ones. And too committing. And you were stuck with one girl. As if reading my mind, she poked me. I pushed her hand away.
"We should get married." Of course, I voiced the thought as soon as it popped into my head, the filter in my head apparently in off mode. But I guess I'd just roll with hit, shrugging, "I mean, I'm a total catch for you, and I guess you're not that bad."
"Shut up." She shoved me, and I grabbed her hand, laughing as I messed with her fingers. Her hands were so small in mine, and I glanced at her face. The city offered a backlight that made her look like she had a halo, and in that moment I really started to wonder…
"Seriously, what would it be like if we got married though?"
She bit her lip, and I couldn't help but think that if she wasn't my best friend, I would definitely go for her. I mean, she would shoot me down for my attitude right away, and she'd be right to, because if I didn't know her, I'd just try and toy with her. I'll admit it. But in that moment, I didn't want any other guy to have her, because none of them would be good enough. No one would ever be good enough for my Clary.
"We would date for a few years-" She began, but I was quick to cut in.
"What?! A few years?" I exclaimed. There was no way I could stay with one girl for that long unless I was tied down. Then again, I didn't like the idea of being tied down anyways, but, for the sake of the game, I'd act like it.
"Yes Jace, moving on," she waved off my interruption, "We would get married… Somewhere nice."
"How about Maui?" I'd always pictured going to the beach since I'd first seen a picture, and if I was to get married that would be my dream place,"We would have it on the beach. Not a lot of people, only the ones really close to us."
"We'd live here in New York." She caught on, "At first, maybe with the Lightwoods in the Institute, but then we'd get a house of our own."
"It'd have to be walking distance from central park, cause you'd always want to paint there." I smiled, closing my eyes, and picturing our small utopia, "And we'd have your gallery right around the corner."
"And it also has to be close to your martial arts studio." I don't think she noticed that she'd laced her fingers in mine as she unconsciously squeezed my hand, "Three years after out wedding, we'll have our first kid."
"A girl." I opened my eyes, staring into Clary's emerald ones, the colors seeming to swirl around her irises, "Her name will be Seraphina… In honor of your dad." She cleared her throat, a soft smile on her face and a blush warming up her cheeks. I could tell from knowing her for years that the simple sentence had meant a lot to her.
"Then our second kid," Once again, she cleared her throat, and I wondered if the dreamy look in her eyes was mirrored in my own, "a boy. His name will be Jensen." I hadn't missed our shift from would to will. As if it was actually going to happen. The thought made a strange feeling shoot through me.
"And then our third kid will be another boy," I supplied, "and his name will be…"
"Jared or Misha," I snorted at her immediate answer.
"Are you just gonna name all out kids after Supernatural characters?" I raised my eyebrow. Fangirls.
"That's exactly right." She pouted, looking more like an angry kitten than anything else, "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Yes," I answered instantly, "Look, you know I love that show too, but not enough to name our children after people on it." It was true. Supernatural was my favorite show, but, again, I would rather not reach that level of fan.
"Fine," I thought she was going to give in, but of course, she proved me wrong, "How about Ezra?"
"Another TV show!" I yelled, throwing my hands up, but she would have her way in the end, so I might as well make it a little bit better, "I'll give you Misha. How about Dean? At least he's in the show, not a real life person."
"Thank you!" The look on her face was worth it as she suffocated me with a tight hug, which I returned with a laugh, "You're the best husband ever. This is why I love you!"
"I'm not done yet," She rested her head on my chest, and I couldn't help but feel heat where she touched me, "We're gonna have another girl. This one won't be planned, but we'll be so glad it happened. She'll be a Momma's girl, and her name will be Tessa."
"I love it." She whispered, raising onto her toes to press a quick kiss to me, and I gulped, "But don't you have to propose to me first?"
I laughed, trying to dispel the scary feeling that I couldn't have. Not for Clary. She stood up, and I kneeled down on one knee. I shuffled through my pockets, trying to find the cheap arcade ring I'd won earlier today. It was a plastic, red band that was tied into a knot at the top, but it flowed smoothly so that the ring never ended.
"So uh…" What should I say? I mean, it's not every day that you propose to your best friend. I didn't wand to say something too meaningful that it would sound like I liked her. I decided to go with a funny one, "I like you and your pretty I guess and you aren't horrible, so I wouldn't be sad about being stuck with you forever." It had the right effect, seeing as she buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.
"Clary will you just say yes already?" I whined, "This is starting to hurt."
"How do you even know I'm gonna say yes? I might not want to marry you."
"Clary!"
"Fine." She sighed with a dramatic note to her tone, "I guess you aren't too bad either, and even though that was a crap proposal, I'll marry you." I stood, lifting her hand and slipping the ring onto her finger. My smile was so big, and I didn't know why. I guess it was because of how cheesy this all was, but I was comforted by the fact that Clare had the same look on her face. When I blinked, a scene flashed before my eyes.
Us. We were older, and the ring was silver with a diamond as we stood on top of Hotel Dumort. Just us, no one else.
"We should have a song." Clary dragged me out of my daydream, "All couples have a song."
"Uh…" I was confused by the sudden suggestion. This was getting too real, but I wasn't about to stop it. I should, but it was strange that I didn't want to. Then I remembered a song that would work, I pulled my phone, scrolling until I found it. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
"Ah hah!" I shouted, "I've got it." The guitar started to play softly through the speakers, and I stared at her, not knowing what to do.
"What do we do now?" I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. You should say stop, I told myself, the pounding inside me growing stronger. I didn't know if I could handle much more of this.
"We dance." Clary blinked innocently at me, then grabbed my hands. I was a goner the second we started stepping ungracefully from side to side, and I rolled my eyes.
"If you're my new fiancée, then we are not having our first dance be like… This." I guided her arms around my neck as I stepped closer, then let mine fall around her waist. As she rested her head on my collarbone, I hoped she couldn't hear my racing heartbeat.
Too much space, my mind cried, and, before I knew what I was doing, I'd pulled her as close to me as humanly possible. It was official. I was pulling moves on Clary Fray.
This was different though, and I have to admit I was scared. I was scared of how she made my heart beat like no tomorrow. I was scared of how much I craved the feel of her body against mine. I was scared of the fact that I wanted her lips on mine. Now.
"Jace." Her voice was breathy and I'll be damned if it didn't cause something to flare up inside me. Desire.
"Hmmm?" I hummed, trying to say minimal words since I knew that my words would come out in a tone that I should never use with Clary. One of her hands moved slowly up to the nape of my neck, and I could almost feel my pupils dilating as I gasped softly at the sudden move.
"Are we going to forget tonight ever happened?" Her words set off even more alarms in my head, but I couldn't resist it, resist her, anymore.
"Well, technically it didn't happen yet seeing as this is our future." As I predicted, my voice was low and husky, and, by the way her eyes fired up, she knew what she was doing to me. Stop it Jace. Now.
"So we'll forget about all of this tomorrow?" She asked, and this was my chance, but when she raised on her toes, I started to lose my resolve.
"Mhm." I found myself humming the word, but disappointment coursed through me when she stopped. Maybe I'd read the signs all wrong. But she wasn't backing down either. For a minute, I just stared at her, and she stared back. What was she going to do? Was she waiting for me?
"Will you just kiss me already?" She used my words from earlier, giving me my answer, "This is starting to hurt." Both of us halted once again, neither of us breathing, neither of us moving, staying in the moment as if to capture it forever. To hell with what you should do, Wayland.
"Only you, Fray." I smiled, leaning in once again, but then I stopped, common sense slowly starting to leak in.
"Wait," I couldn't believe what I'd almost done, I couldn't take this from her, "Clary, this is your first kiss, you shouldn't waste it on-" She pressed her finger to my lips, and I shut up instantly.
"Jace," She spoke slowly, her voice wavering the tiniest bit, "Remember? This night hasn't even happened. I'll have my first kiss with someone else, but this doesn't count." Like hell it doesn't count. She was lying and we both knew it.
But after tonight we would forget this, we would forget every touch, every gaze, every feeling. We would squash it into the tiniest ball, throwing it to the farthest, darkest place in our hearts. We were best friends. That's how it always was, and always would be. Always should be.
There you go with the damn should be again.
"Clary-" I was about to do the right thing when she cut me off.
"Do you want this?" She enunciated each syllable, "Because if you don't, say it. Don't use this to get out of it."
You don't know how much I want this.
"What do you think?" My tone was a little are you stupid, but how could she not tell? I cupped her face, and she leaned into my touch as my thumb traced her cheekbone.
"I just don't want you to regret this." I looked down. I was the kind of guy I shielded Clary from. One of the people who didn't even deserve to hold her hand, "I don't want you to waste your first kiss on a player like me… On a person like me."
"Jace." She whispered, and I looked back up at her, "There's no one else I would rather be here with, so just shut up and kiss me."
I smiled at her once again, the gesture so big that it hurt my cheeks. She returned it, and we stared at each other, not even able to fathom the feelings inside of us. Her eyes fluttered shut, and I couldn't express how beautiful she looked in that moment. Like an angel. Like my angel.
You don't know what you do to me Clarissa Adele Fray.
I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. At first, she didn't know what to do, but I was patient, guiding her through the motion softly carefully. As if she was a glass, about to break at any second. After a minute, she caught on, and this was better than any kiss I'd had with any other girl in my life. This sloppy (at first), unplanned thing could only be described in one word. Perfect.
And we stayed kissing under the stars.
And Chasing Cars played on a loop.
And in that moment, we were the only two people in the world.
But we had to pull away, and we had to climb down the building. I had to give her a kiss that meant goodbye, not to just parting ways, but to everything that happened that night. Goodbye to a future that we would never have.
—-
Present Day
Ohshitoshitohshit. As she neared the end of the story, I kneeled down, opening the black, velvet box. I'd already began to play Chasing Cars, but she was still staring off into the city, lost in the memory.
"… But I never took off that ring. I've kept it on a necklace since that night…" She trailed off, returning to the land of the living, her face still to us.
"Jace," She started to turn around, "I'm gonna cry if you keep playing that song." The words faded slowly as she seemingly took in the sight before her. The ring, it was exactly like the one from that night, but made with white gold, a diamond resting in the center of the knot.
"So uh… I like you and your pretty I guess and you aren't horrible, so I wouldn't be sad about being stuck with you forever." I parroted the words from that night that had been drilled in my mind from the second they'd come out of my mouth. Her hands flew to cover her mouth.
"Okay, wait, that's not my real proposal." I backtracked, "What I really want to say is that Clary Fray, you are the absolute most beautiful, kind, and amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure to know. You've been there for all my life. Through the ups and the downs, the twists and the turns, you've been there for me. I don't know what my life would be without you, and I don't even want to imagine it, so Clarissa Adele-"
"Wait." Her voice was shaking as she halted her words, exactly like I was expecting her to, "We… we just started dating two days ago."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow, "Clary, we've been dating half our lives. All those dinners we went to together. Just us. All those nights when we would sneak away from the group and cuddle up on my bed and watch movies. All those kisses during truth or dare. All those times when we would hold hands or just be touching because we couldn't stand not to. How we would both get jealous when the other person was dating someone else. Clary, we have been dating for as long as I remember, and we both knew it. On some level we did, but we just didn't want to admit it."
Her eyes sparkled as she processed what I was saying, and I shifted uncomfortably.
"Clary will you just say yes already?" I whined with a smirk, "This is starting to hurt."
"How do you even know I'm gonna say yes? I might not want to marry you." Her voice cracked, the words as unconvincing as they were the night she first said them. I didn't need a Yes as I slipped the ring onto her finger, both of us crying waterfalls. Happy tears, of course.
We both smiled those huge smiles as I got up, pressing my lips to hers. I pulled back long enough for her to get settled against me, and I felt her fast heartbeat on top of my own. Then, we danced.
"What about the show?" Her voice broke the silence, "And the girls."
"I haven't kissed any other girl but you and Seelie by accident because I thought she was you since I realized how I felt." I answered truthfully, "I told them all that it was because I was saving it for my wife. I don't care about the other girls, but I do have a binding contract. I mean, I've broken it several times, but they have no idea. I just couldn't wait anymore." I kissed her gleaming, fire-red hair.
"Jace is my fiancee." Her words made my heart beat faster and damn I sound like a girl, "Jace is my soon to be husband."
"Clary is my fiancee," I repeated, "Clary is my soon to be wife." I caused her to laugh.
And we kissed again under the stars.
And we danced to Chasing Cars.
And in that moment, I felt infinite.
This time, my kisses weren't goodbye. They were more like a hello to our new life.
"You knew!" She suddenly shouted, making me jump. I realized she was staring at Chris, who had a knowing smirk on his face.
"Well, someone had to record that." Chris stated, and Clary pulled away from me, running to Chris and engulfing him in a huge hug, "I'm really, really gonna have to lie my ass off when we get back."
"You are," She said bluntly, but it was the truth, "Thank you. And we'll call the cameras to get footage of us going to dinner."
"Perfect!" Chris's smile grew, "And for the record, we spent all day in the cemetery because you wanted a lot of time with your Mom. Got it?"
"Got it." Clary and I answered at the same time.
"Now let's go to dinner and celebrate the happy couple." Chris threw his hands up happily.
"Wait." I grabbed Clary's arm, remembering something, "You can't wear that ring yet." She frowned a tiny bit for a second, unclasping the chain around her neck and slipping the new ring onto it.
"Let me." I whispered into her ear, grabbing the two ends. She lifted her hair, sucking in a sharp breath as I touched her neck. I clasped the necklace together, smirking.
"I love you." I whispered, "More than you'll ever know."
"I love you most." She replied, her voice that breathy tone that I cherished. Then, she pressed her lips to mine in a kiss that said…
Hello
Gah you people better be happy with me. I've been listening to Chasing Cars for 2 hours as I typed this ;). I hope you all loved it. Goodbye, my faithfuls.
-Shadowhunter5801