A/N: This chapter is for the people that took the time to review. Please read and review.
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Twelve weeks later, Olivia found herself sitting on the toilet with the lid down. It was 8:24am and Elliot was at work.
She had another home pregnancy test in hand and was waiting for the result to appear. Her heart was pounding fast and loud against the inside of her ribcage. Her hands were shaking as she held the little white stick. The last two tests that she had taken had come up with not pregnant. This month she was desperately waiting for a positive.
Just as the timer went off, startling Olivia, the result appeared as clear as day.
Frustrated, Olivia threw the stick against the bathroom wall and screamed. Not pregnant had come up again to haunt her. Three months in a row. Was she ever going to get pregnant?
She and Elliot had made love without protection, just about every night that they could for the last twelve weeks. Sometimes on Elliot's days off from work, they even made love during the day.
She put her head in her hands and started to cry, only to be interrupted by the house phone ringing. She got up, grabbing her cane that she still needed to use, just for safety and answered the phone in the master bedroom.
She cleared her throat and pressed the answer button. "Stabler residence."
She could hear her fiancee panting for breath over the phone. He'd been panicking.
"Baby, are you ok? What took you so long to answer the phone?"
A sob escaped from Olivia's throat. "I was in the bathroom, El....I'm fine," she answered, trying to keep her voice even.
"Baby, what's wrong? Did you take another test and it came up negative?" He asked, concerned.
Olivia wiped away her tears. "Yeah," she answered, simply.
"That's ok, angel. There's always next month to test again. We'll keep trying. We'll make love again as soon as I get home, no matter how tired I am," he promised.
"I'm sick of tryng, only to get negative, Elliot. It's not going to happen," she snarled in frustration.
She wasn't angry at him, just at what was happening.
"It will, baby. It will. We just have to keep positive and keep trying," he assured her. "Look, Liv, I got to go. Got a new case. See you tonight, angel."
"Love you," Olivia mumbled.
"Love you too," Elliot replied and hung up.
The brunette ran a shaky hand through her brown tresses and sighed. She was giving up hope of having the child she so desperately wanted. Always wanted. And she was giving up hope fast.
Getting fed up with her cane, she threw that too. It hit the wall, leaving a gaping hole beside the closet.
She looked at the hole and shrugged. "Fuck it," she grumbled and went downstairs for a cup of coffee with cream. She needed the cream this morning, really needed it. Forget food, she didn't want to eat, she just wanted a steamy, hot, mood altering, strong but creamy coffee.
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Stabler hung up the phone with a sad sigh and followed his partner out of the squad room.
They walked in to the elevator, without a word. His partner, Eric McFadden, waited for the silver doors to slide shut before looking over at Elliot.
"How's the fiancee?" He asked, kindly, "You gonna be a daddy yet?"
Elliot sighed and ran a hand down his face, shaking his head. "She took another test this morning. Negative."
The elevator reached the ground floor, dinged and the silver doors slid open again. The men stepped out and walked out of the building.
Eric patted his old academy friend's shoulder. "It will happen, Elliot. It took nearly a year before April was concieved. Cassie and I never lost hope, man," he said and he and Elliot got in to the detective car.
Elliot put the key in the ignition and started the car's engine. "Liv's already losing hope. She thinks it will never happen. She's just getting so angry and frustrated," Elliot said, pulling in to the busy Manhattan traffic.
"Maybe you should go home to Olivia early today? Hold her. Love on her. Then try again. I think Olivia just needs to be held, Elliot. It should happen eventually," Eric encouraged.
Elliot sighed. "Thanks, man. I'll try that."
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After the creamy coffee, the brunette decided to go see Casey. She hadn't seen the ADA in a few weeks and right now, Olivia needed a hug from her best friend.
She hesitantly knocked on Casey's office door and waited for an answer.
After a long moment, the door finally opened. Casey had messy hair, she had swollen lips and she was adjusting her white blouse. It was obvious that Casey had company and she'd disturbed the red head.
Olivia quickly wiped away her tears of anger and frustration and cleared her throat. "Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting, Case," she spoke really quickly. "I'll...ah...I'll leave you to it," she finished and rushed off.
"Oh shit. Liv!" Casey called out for the brunette but she continued to limp off.
The ADA noticed that the former detective did not have her cane with her. She'd ditched it yet again.
Olivia really hated that cane.
She rushed back in to her office and put on her high heels.
"What's going on, Casey?" Asked her boyfriend, Keith Harmon.
"My friend Olivia needs me. Something's wrong. I got to find out what."
Keith gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Quick, she needs you. Make sure she's ok, honey. I'll see you tonight. I love you."
"I love you too," Casey replied and rushed out to find the brunette.
She took the elevator and ran out of the building. Looking left, right, right in front of her, through the crowds of pedestrian traffic. Casey could not see Olivia anywhere. Her friend had disappeared fast.
'She must have caught a cab,' Casey concluded.
"Shit," she mumbled, running a hand through her just below shoulder length red hair.
She pulled her cell out and called Elliot. He'd want to know that his fiancee was on the loose and upset.
With Olivia still needing to use her cane, Elliot didn't like her going out alone still but knew that he couldn't stop her.
"Stabler," he answered after just two rings.
"Hey, it's Casey."
"Hi, Casey. What can I do for you?"
"Olivia came to my office. She saw I had company and took off. I can't find her, Elliot. She was crying and didn't have her cane. What's going on?" She asked.
She could hear Elliot rushing around in the background.
"We're trying for a baby and Olivia's had three negatives come back. She's so angry and frustrated."
Casey heard a car door close and an engine start up in the background.
"Poor Liv. When you find her give her my love. I have court in half an hour," she replied, walking back in to the building.
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Elliot hung up with Casey and called his fiancee's cell phone. It rang out and he left a voicemail message.
"Baby, where are you? Please call me," he said and hung up.
Knowing that she wouldn't have gone home, he went straight to Central Park. Hoping she'd be under the huge tree, where she liked to watch children playing and read a book. It was a peaceful shady area and she could quietly watch the happy children playing.
She longed for a child and the negative pregnancy tests were breaking her heart.
Elliot got to the huge tree and sighed in relief. His fiancee was sitting right there, where he had hoped. He approached cautiously and sat down beside her.
"Hey, baby," he whispered, wrapping his arm around her and pulled her close, in a side hug.
Olivia rested her head on his chest and cuddled in to his body. "Hi," she offered in a whisper.
Elliot rubbed the brunette's arm softly and kissed the crown of her head, inhaling the fresh scent of her shampoo and conditioner. "Want to go out somewhere nice for lunch and then go home, just to cuddle?"
He felt her nod before he heard her voice. "Yeah, but not yet. This is comfortable. Can we stay awhile? It's cool and peaceful."
Elliot rested his chin on her head and planted another light kiss on her head. "Of course, baby. We'll go when you're ready."
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That night found Olivia resting comfortably in her fiance's warm, safe arms. She was fighting sleep.
Elliot kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back, soothingly. "Sleep, baby. It's ok," he murmured.
Olivia cleared her throat. "I'm thinking of adopting a baby," she spoke nervously.
Elliot was shocked and sat up straight, accidentally knocking Olivia's head off his chest.
"Ow!"
"Sorry, Liv. A-adoption? Baby, don't give up hope yet please. It's only been three months. We can adopt a child to be our child's sibling. But please, baby, don't give up just yet," he begged.