A/N: Here is the next chapter. The more reviews the longer the story will be. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize.
Elliot Stabler woke to the warm, bright beam from the morning sun coming through the bedroom window. He rolled over and went to pull his fiancee close but his hand was met by cold sheets. His eyes shot open to see that the brunette was not in bed with him. He sighed and looked at the time on the alarm clock. 6:08am, it read. It was Saturday morning and Olivia usually loved to lay in his arms, cuddled up to him with her head on his chest on a Saturday morning, but she wasn't in bed this morning. Very unlike his fiancee.
He shot up in a panic and got out of bed, to search for her again. He checked all of upstairs. Empty. He was scared that she'd left him.
He ran downstairs and found his fiancee on the couch. Asleep. He could tell that she'd slept there for the remainder of the night after he went to sleep because she had a pillow and a blanket.
He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, exhaling a deep breath. He leaned down and caressed her cheek. "Sorry, angel," he murmured, with a light kiss on the cheek.
He watched her as she sighed in her sleep and rolled over before he went in to the kitchen. He was going to cook her favourite breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes with six raspberries.
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Olivia Benson woke to the smell of coffee and her favourite breakfast. She stretched out her sore back and opened her eyes. Her fiance was walking in to the living room with a tray, containing her favourite breakfast and a cup of nice steamy hot coffee with cream. He had a sad smile on his face.
"Enjoy, angel," he whispered and passed the food to her before heading for a quick escape.
Olivia swallowed and gently closed her hand around Elliot's wrist, stopping him from walking away. "Elliot..."
Elliot turned around and waited for Olivia to speak.
"Come sit and eat with me," she offered, softly.
"I...I can't. I have paperwork to do," he replied, distractedly.
Olivia instantly let go of his wirst and nodded, sadly. "Ok," she mumbled and put the tray down, "thanks for breakfast but I'm not hungry. I'm going to go get ready for a slow jog," she said and got up, heading upstairs.
Elliot sighed. He had suffered up again already. "Livia...should you be jogging? Are you ready for that?"
The brunette shook her head and continued up the stairs. "I just need some time alone right now," she mumbled but Elliot heard her clearly.
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Olivia came back downstairs about ten minutes later in a black tracksuit and running shoes to find Elliot sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees, holding back tears.
The brunette ran a hand through her caramel brown tresses and walked in to the living room. She leaned down and kissed his head.
Elliot looked up, a little shocked.
She caressed his cheek and stood up properly again. "I love you. I'll be back soon," she promised.
Elliot nodded. "I love you too. Be careful," he cautioned, softly.
"I will," Olivia answered and walked out of the house.
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Jogging through Central Park, Casey Novak caught up to Olivia's slow pace. She had a small baby bump, she was trying to hide from Olivia, knowing the trouble her friend was having trying to conceive.
"Hi honey."
"Let me guess. Elliot called you," Olivia said, sadly.
"No. Why? What happened?" She asked with a furrowed brow, in confusion.
Olivia was about to answer but caught a glimpse of her friend's baby belly and shook her head. "N...Nothing. I gotta go," she answered and ran off.
Casey looked down to see that her top had ridden up a bit, exposing the bottom of her bump and Olivia had seen it.
"Shit," she muttered. "Aunt Liv's in a world of hurt right now. We need to help her," she whispered to her unborn child, rubbing her belly.
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Two hours past without word from Olivia but Casey had called informing him on what happened in the park. Elliot decided it was time to look for the brunette.
Thinking that she would be under the huge tree, he rushed there first. She wasn't there. Some young couple were cuddled up under it.
"Shit!" He nearly screamed. "Where the hell are you, Liv?" He spoke to himself.
He then thought about her mother's grave. She might have gone there.
Elliot got in to the car and drove there. Speeding with lights and sirens the whole way there.
When he got there, he got out of the car and ran through the aisles until he found the one he was after. He followed it across and stopped seeing his fiancee sitting on her knees by her mother's grave, cleaning off the headstone. She traced her mother's name, engraved on it, with her finger.
"Why? Why mom, why? Why aren't I getting pregnant? I want a child with Elliot more then anything in the world. Why aren't you helping me, mother?"
She was startled by a presence and turned around. Seeing her fiance, she got up and ran in to his arms, not bothering to dust off her dirty knees.
Elliot held the brunette close and kissed the crown of her head, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"It's going to be ok, angel. We're going to get through this. It's just another obstacle that life has thrown at us. We're strong. We're make it," he assured her.
Olivia nodded in to his chest, believing him. "I believe you," she replied.
It sounded muffled in to his chest but he understood what she said.
"Let's go home, angel. We'll just cuddle, ok?"
He felt Olivia nod and he guided her to the car.
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Olivia opened her eyes and looked over at the alarm clock on the bedside table, on Elliot's side of the bed. It was only 3:09am. She had barely slept a wink since they went to bed four and a half hours ago.
Being wrapped protectively in her lover's arms, she didn't want to move too much and wake him up, since he had to be up in just under three hours for work.
The rest of the day and night had been hard on Olivia and she felt like she was losing her mind. Like the world was out to get her or something.
She couldn't get pregnant, but yet her best friend seemed to be at least four months pregnant. She felt betrayed that Casey hadn't told her, when she told her everything.
Benson sighed, softly and licked her lips as she tried to figure out in her head, if she'd done something so bad in life. Was this Karma? Was it because she was a child of rape? She needed to know.
Olivia felt her fiance's big warm hand caress her warm, bare belly.
They'd made love again just four hours ago, so they were both still naked.
The affectionate gesture was closely followed by the feel of Elliot's breath on her neck and his hoarse, half asleep voice.
"What's wrong, angel? It's too early to be thinking. I thought I would have worn you out earlier," he ended with a joke.
Olivia didn't laugh and it worried Elliot even more.
He lifted his head up and rested it on his open palm with his elbow holding up his head. He needed to see her face but couldn't since the room was too dark, so he reached behind him and turned the lamp on.
Elliot rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. Olivia just closed her eyes.
"Baby, talk to me. What's wrong? I know that the last year and a half has been hard, but you're strong. We're strong. We just need to fight a bit longer. Baby, we'll get through this. We'll get to the other side and we'll be happy. Fight, fight, fight," he assured the brunette and kissed her cheek.
Olivia sighed in defeat and rolled on to her back to looked in to those cerulean blues. Get lost in them. Swim in them.
"I got no fight left, El. I'm thinking of quitting. I can't take it anymore. What have I done that was so wrong?"
Elliot wiped away his fiancee's stray tear and kissed the tip of her nose.
"Nothing, angel, and the Olivia Benson I know and love, my beautiful fiancee, is a fighter, not a quiter," Elliot told her firmly but softly.
"People change," she muttered stubbornly and went to get up. To get away.
Elliot gently pulled her back and pulled her flush up against him. "You listen to me, Olivia Marie Benson and you listen good," he whispered firmly in her ear. "I love you and no matter how hard you push, I'll be here to pull you back. I'm not giving up on you. We'll get through this. It's just another obstacle, you hear me?"
Benson sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, I hear you," she replied and snuggled back in to him.
Elliot had to take a few deep breath to stop himself from getting an erection with his sexy fiancee rubbing her ass in to him.
"You want a hot chocolate, baby?" He asked, needing a distraction.
Now was not the time to make love to her again, he didn't think. It was a time to just hug and love on her. That's all she needed right now.
In Olivia's mind, she would agree but she also needed to get back in to work. They would allow her back as a detective with a bad left leg and the occasional left hand twitch. They had given her early retirement and the need for another job to keep her sanity.
Elliot was surprised that she'd lasted so long but now he was finally seeing the effects. She was getting stir crazy.
Olivia shook her head. "No, thanks. Please just hold me, El."
Without a word, Elliot kissed the curve of her neck and held her close. He tried to stay awake, knowing his fiancee wouldn't sleep, but he ended up falling asleep anyway.
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Stabler woke at six am sharp to the alarm clock. He groaned and slapped off the offending noise. He went to pull his fiancee close for a quick cuddle before getting ready for work.
But just like the morning before, his hands were met by cold sheets. She'd snuck out of bed in the last couple hours while he'd been sleeping.
He sat up, quietly berating himself for falling asleep when his love needed him.
Elliot sighed, got up, dressed and headed downstairs. Olivia wasn't on the couch in the living room, so he adventured out in to the cold New York morning. The sun was rising but it didn't help the arctic type cold. Olivia was sitting on the back porch swing, dressing silky black pyjama bottoms and Elliot's NYPD top, with her right leg tucked under her and her left leg sticking out. A steaming hot mug of hot chocolate was keeping her hands at a bareably warm temperture. She must not have heard the back door slid open or Elliot's foot steps on the deck because she didn't acknowledge his presence. She continued to look out at the morning sky. The beautiful, peaceful sunrise.
The blue eyes man sat beside the brown eyes woman and wrapped an arm around her, gently pulling her close, completely unconcerned with the fact that he was going to be late for work.
Olivia rested her head on Elliot's shoulder with a soft sigh.
"Morning, baby. Sorry for falling asleep on you. Did you sleep at all?"
Olivia shook her head. "It's ok, El. You have work. You should be getting ready or you'll be late."
Elliot kissed the crown of her head. "I'm thinking of taking a sick day to be here with you."
"I'll be ok, El. I'm a big girl."
"I know, baby....What's going through your beautiful head, huh?"
"Doctor Stone said she'd be calling with the results today," Olivia whispered.
Elliot nodded. "Want me to stay with you until the call?"
Olivia shook her head. "No, I'll be ok, hon. You need to get ready for work."
"Ok, baby," Elliot replied and got up.
He knew he wasn't going to win, so he gave up.
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Olivia had just had a shower and gotten dressed. She was having a lay down on the bed, when the phone rang. It was just after nine, so it would be Doctor Stone.
"Benson-Stabler residence."
"Hello Olivia, it's Dr. Stone. I have your test results back and I think you need to come in."
"Should I get Elliot?"
She heard the doctor sigh over the phone. "You can if you want for some support....Olivia, Elliot's test came up clear. There's a problem with your's."
Olivia bit her bottom lip and swallowed. "I'm on my way."
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Olivia's hand were shaking and her hear was pumping wildly in her chest, as she walked in to the medical center. She stepped in to the elevator and twidled her thumbs nervously as she rode the elevator up to the third floor.
The silver elevator doors slid open with a ding and Olivia took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly as she stepped out, heading toward the front desk.
"Ah...Hi, I'm Olivia Benson. Dr. Stone told me to come in for some test results," she spoke nervously.
The kind, young blonde secertary nodded with a shy smile. "Take a seat, Miss Benson. I'll let Dr. Stone know that you're here," she told Olivia softly.
The former detective nodded, thanking the young woman and took a seat.
Olivia sat in one of the uncomfortable seats in the waiting area. Her knees were bouncing as she skimmed through an out dated magazine. When she'd picked up, she'd noticed that it was nearly two years old. Not that it mattered though because she was barely reading it. Too nervous to read.
Finally about about ten minutes, Dr. Stone emerged from her office. "Come on in, Olivia."
Olivia dropped the old magazine back on the table with the rest and got up. She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly as she followed the doctor in to her office.
"Take a seat, Olivia," the doctor said, motioning to a chair, in front of her desk, as she closed the door for privacy.
Olivia swallowed a lump in her throat and sat down, watched Dr. Stone take her own seat at her desk.
"S...so w..what's w...wrong with me?" The brunette asked, stuttering.
Dr. Stone picked up a big yellow envelope and slid out some white sheets of paper, which obviously had Olivia's results on. She skimmed through them again and looked up at Olivia, with an expression which frightened the former detective. She couldn't red it but it was obviously bad."
"W..well?" She asked again.
"There was an error, but I have the right one now and....Olivia, I think you should call Elliot to come here to be with you for this. I am free for the next couple hours for you. You can use my phone to call him," the doctor said, gesturing toward the desk phone.