nikita woke up and found that everyone was still asleep, including alex. she picked up her phone that she had sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch and next to the cot. the time on her phone read 5:30 am, just around sunrise. throwing her legs over the cot, nikita sat up and put her head in her hands and looked at alex who was sleeping on her side facing the living room with her hand and a little of her leg hanging off of the couch.
nikita was feeling a mix of nervousness and worry about the day ahead of her. she knew it was going to be hard on alex, going though withdrawal again especially with everything that was going on. however nikita also knew this time it was different and that alex would have to go through hell in order to stay clean. dragging herself out of her thoughts, nikita, looked at alex one last time before forcing herself to get up and go into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.
after about five minutes of being in the kitchen nikita heard alex mumbling something in her sleep though she couldn't understand what she was saying. she closed her eyes and took a breath before standing up straighter and setting her coffee on the counter. as if on que, right after nikita set her coffee down, alex started screaming. nikita rush to alex's side as she shot up on the couch and tried to comfort her by telling her things like 'its gonna be okay' and 'youre safe now'. while nikita and alex, who was still hyperventilating, were in the living they both noticed the rest of the team was now obviously woken up. they had a long day ahead of them.
Five days later...
Alex had gone through four to five days of withdrawal and it was hell for all of them
birkhoff sat typing on his computer and alex was sleeping in birkhoffs room, which he decided to give up for a while, and nikita had just walked of birkhoff's room, obviously tired and flustered, as michael approached her
"how is she" michael asked concerned
"well she's sleeping finally" nikita smiled sadly to herself
"that's great! its first time in... what four days" michael tried to make nikita feel like alex was actually getting better
"five" nikita corrects him taking a deep breath "five days"
"nikita..." michael sighs "you need to see the positive in this, alex is getting better"
"physically maybe, but mentally, emotionally... im not so sure"
"nikita, alex will be okay"
"no," nikita starts to shake her head at michael "no, michael you dont know what its like"
"youre right, i dont, but you do, and you know alex. shes just like you that is how i know she will be okay"
"aww, DAMN IT!" birkhoff yelled from his computers
both nikita and michael looked at him worried that something might have happened. not only that, nikita was partially worried because she had just gotten alex to go to sleep for the first time in days. nikitas heart was racing
"whats wrong" nikita asked worried and a little nervous about what birkhoff's answer would be
"snape just made Dumbledore go flying out the window and now everything is going to be different and screwed up" he complained about the curent scene that just unfolded on the screen in front of him as he sighed leaning back in his seat eating a hand full of popcorn and taking a drink of his energy drink
nikita sighed in relief when she realized that what was happening was not something that they had to worry about with alex or amanda right now and felt thankful for the short break she was able to have at this moment before she continued her conversation with birkhoff
"what are you watching" nikita smiled amused at birkhoff as she approached him with michael following close behind
"harry potter, duhh" birkhoff told her taking and eating another handful of popcorn
nikita alternated between watching birkhoff and the movie that was on the screen, then looking at michael smiling. they continued to talk about the movie and just other things that were going on. it had been about three hours when they heard footsteps behind them. they all turned around and to see alex walking into the kitchen sluggishly. alex was over and done with the withdrawal but still wasnt completely all she went into the kitchen she pulled out a bar stool and sat on it staring blankly into the kitchen.
"hey," nikita said getting her attention and walking over to her "how are you?" she asked as she put a comforting hand on her back. alex looked at nikita before replying
"hungry"she answered and nikita smiled
nikita went into the kitchen and started to make something for alex to eat. alex was looking down at her hands when nikita set a bowl of steaming hot soup in front her pulling her out of her thoughts. alex looked up at nikita and smiled slightly before the smile quickly disappeared. she brought her hand up to the spoon and filled it with some soup before putting the soup in her mouth. nikita looked at michael and birkhoff tilting her head in a direction to go giving them a signal to leave so she could talk to alex.
"birkhoff and i are going to go to the store" michael stated nudging birkhoff to get up so they could leave
"uhh, yeah, i got some things i have to pick up" birkhoff said as he got up and left with michael
almost as soon as they left nikita turned her attention to alex who was still eating her soup
"you know we have to talk about this right"alex tensed up when nikita said this which didnt go unnoticed by nikita
"talk about what exactly"alex said with a hint of sadness
"well, for starters how are you feeling"
"better" alex lied
"alex you dont have to lie to me" alex quickly looked away from nikita and looked at the floor in the opposite direction
"alex look at me... please"
alex slowly turned her head to face nikita slightly teary eyed
"whats wrong"
"its just..." alex sighed looking at her soup "ive only been back for less than two weeks and... part of me feels like your still mad at me"
nikita put her hand on alexs back and said "i was never really mad"
alex smiled and nikita continued to the question that they've all been wondering since they got her back
"so... are starting to remember what happened" she asked cautiously
that was the question that alex was hoping nikita wouldnt ask. she contemplating lying to her but she knew nikita would be able to tell.
"umm... yeah, but umm... can we talk about it later" alex stumbled over her words
"yeah, sure. whenever your ready"nikita reassured her