Summary: Tsunade leaves, but not after revealing to Umbridge that she had messed with the wrong blonde. Kakashi has been put in charge until Naruto returns to normal come Halloween time. After Tsunade leaves, Sakura carries a sleepy Naru-chan up to Gryffindor tower, the second person to start the process of breaking down the barriers that separated the Houses. Harry and Naruto finish their detentions without further problems as things at Hogwarts finally seemed to settle down. Meanwhile, things start to get interesting as Gai, minus his spandex, overhears some interesting information. Will the spandex stay gone, will he be making an appearance soon? What about the mission that Tsunade gave Anko, Itachi, and Iruka? Has Umbridge's torture finally begun?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Harry Potter series, or any of the characters. They belong to their respective owners.
Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.
Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara
Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sasuke, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Malfoy x Harry, Anko x Itachi, and maybe Gai x Shizune (just have to figure out how it will work, probably won't be a major part of the story, or I'll make their pairing a side story, still thinking on it, although I'm starting to like the idea of doing this pairing as a side story. I'll probably end up doing a series of side stories about various pairings, probably cute little fluff stuff ). I will do Remus x Sirius as was requested, but it won't happen until way later in the story, since I have to get away from Hogwarts and back into what the Order is doing, which probably won't happen until around the winter holidays in the story, since that's when Arthur gets bitten by the snake.
A/N: This is a torture chapter, more so for the readers than the characters since it leaves you guys hanging. I'm just evil, ain't I? There will be a poll at the end of the story on a possible change in some of the future pairings. If I get enough votes to change the pairings around, then I will. Anyway, this chapter is both a filler and building block for me. I plan on rereading the fifth Harry Potter book before I get things moving again. Luckily though, the plot bunnies in my mind seem to have finally taken some meds for their ADD and I can focus on this story without other ideas demanding my attention. Anyway, have fun reading. If you want me to add in a torture idea for Umbridge, I am making a list to be voted on in later chapters. Halloween ideas are still welcomed. I do like some of the ones that I've read in reviews. Cookies to all of my reviewers, I simply thrive off reviews, their so fun to read.
'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku
'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts
"Shut up, stop talking." --speech
"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese
This is a note, pass it on. --notes, letters, written things, etc...
Chapter Sixteen: The Torture of Suspense
Things were settling down at Hogwarts, for the students at least. For Dolores Umbridge, nothing could be further from the truth. After Tsunade's visit, strange things began to happen. During class, she could hear laughter coming from behind her, yet it wasn't coming from her students at all. Paperwork would mysteriously end up shredded, attached to the ceiling, hidden somewhere in her office, or disappear alltogether. Worse yet, Fudge had flooed her demanding her to stop sending him love letters and for her to do her job. No, things were not going well for Dolores Umbridge, and they would only get worse for her.
Iruka hummed softly as he patroled the halls that night, his mind setting to work on what he should do to torture the toad. After Anko had informed him and Itachi of the mission, the three had agreed to recruit Kakashi and Gai into the mission as well. It had been Kakashi's idea to mess with her in class, giggling as he read his book under a genjutsu to stay hidden from sight. He even made it so that only Umbridge heard him, wanting her to think that she was insane. As childish as it was, it kept Kakashi out of trouble while he ditched his morning classes. It also gave them an idea as to just how paranoid Fudge was, not to mention stupid.
Shaking his head slightly, Iruka directed his thoughts back to what else could be done to Umbridge without causing trouble for the students. Messing with her paperwork had been something that both Anko and Itachi had used to pass the time. Iruka himself had shown his rather sadistic side as he sent Fudge rather fanatical love letters every day for the last week. Tsuande had said to torture Umbridge slowly, and he found it difficult to stick with the kid gloves after what she had done to his little brother. But, Iruka had learned patience and self control as an Academy teacher, something that did not bode well for Umbridge given that he had a rather large reserve of knowledge on pranks, especially after having Naruto as a student. As a former prankster himself, he wondered just how long it would take to get her to crack, and how.
Turning a corner, Iruka sidestepped just in time to miss colliding with Snape. Struck with an idea, he gave the man a smirk worthy of Salazaar Slytherin himself. "Snape-san, I have a problem that I think you can help me with. Would you be willing to help me?" Looking Iruka over, Snape couldn't help but pause and consider his words instead of giving his usual sneer. He had thought the man to be a Hufflepuff, and in many ways he probably was, but the smirk he was currently giving him was pure Slytherin. Returning the smirk, Snape decided to see just what the Slytherin badger wanted. It would prove to be interesting in the very least. "Tell me more of this problem that you have." If Umbridge had been doing her job and patroling for students instead of sleeping, she may have found the two plotting professors, but sadly, her 'beauty sleep' was more important than the safety of Hogwarts' students.
For the first time in a long time after returning from a patrol, Snape found himself relaxed. As sadastic as he was, he would never inflict physical pain onto his students, no matter how annoying they were. Having seen Naruto's unbandaged hands once in class, he knew that he would have to do something to keep himself from poisoning the woman, if he could even call her that. Given how she had yet to touch the students of the snake house, he couldn't risk a conflict with her, no matter how much he wanted to. He had to maintain his position as a spy, loathesome as it was. He had kept strict control of himself, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do much more than slip in a barb or two everytime he was forced to endure her company. That was before he had run into Iruka Umino.
A smirk tugging at his lips, Snape relaxed into an armchair, indulging in some of the cookies that Naruto had given him. He would have to find a way to thank the boy. He couldn't do anything in class, considering he had an image to maintain, but he was sure he could think of something to do for the blonde. Thinking of the blonde caused him to think of Iruka again, and this time he did smirk. His initial thought of the man being a Hufflepuff had been right, but as he had learned from working with Molly Weasley and Poppy Pompfrey, both woman with Hufflepuff characteristics, it was never wise to mess with anyone that they deemed as children or family. Both Molly Weasley and Poppy Pompfrey could be down right viscious when someone was fool enough to try and mess with their own. He winced slightly as he remembered what had happened to Lucius Malfoy a few day after Ginny's rescue from the Chamber of Secrets. Lucius had told no one of what happened after he had met with Molly Weasley at an undisclosed location, but Snape had seen the results of that meeting, causing him to give the Weasley matriarch an even higher degree of respect. Poppy Pompfrey he had learned to respect as a student, and continued to do so to this day. Even Dumbledore knew better than to mess with her patients.
Iruka though, he had earned himself the title of honorary Slytherin in his mind. The man was pure evil incarnate, making him more than happy that Iruka had made it clear that he knew that he wasn't being cruel to Naruto intentionally and had an image to maintain. Never had he been so glad that someone had managed to see past his mask than he was at that moment. After hearing what Iruka was planning, he was more than glad that the man didn't consider him as a Naruto tormentor. Even though Umbridge had left Naruto alone after his detentions, it was too late for her since she had already invoked Iruka's wrath, bringing out his inner Slytherin and sadist. Her torture would be long, slow, and very much deserved. Thinking of her torture led him back to his conversation with Iruka. It would seem that he had finally found an outlet for all his pent up frustrations with Umbridge, one that could not, and would not, be linked back to him. It was times like these that he truly appreciated the finer intricacies of potions and their effects. Finishing off one last cookie, Snape went to bed looking forward to the next day.
While Iruka had plotted with Snape in the dead of night, Anko was making plans for the future, and a more round about form of attack. She would have to call in a few favors, but it would prove to be more than worth it if things went according to plan. Putting her plans aside for the moment, Anko smirked as she practically skipped down to grab something for breakfast. She had one more week before she would switch places with Gai again. It would be on a weekend of course, and she would be filled in on all relevant information before leaving. She still had a week to tor-, teach her students. Spars had been put off until everyone had a chance to get used to their weights, something that was very amusing for her to see since she knew that her fellow nins were just itching for a fight to get rid of excess energy. She couldn't really blame them though, considering they were stuck doing homework after nearly three or four years of being free from homework, or in the Sand Siblings case, having never had homework to begin with since they were privately tutored.
As she sat down, Anko knew immediately that something was going to happen. Iruka was indulging in a cup of his favorite latte, a very satisfied look on his face. Judging by Kakashi's sulking form, the look wasn't from a fun night in bed. With that option out, it could only mean that Iruka had something in store for Umbridge. Looking around casually as she snacked on her favorite dish of dango, Anko noticed that Snape also seemed to be in an unusually good mood since he was smirking instead of sneering. Glancing at Iruka again, Anko had to bite back maniacal laughter as she put the pieces together. It would seem that she wasn't the only one making plans. Sitting back, Anko munched happily on her dango as she waited for the show to begin. After all, it had to be something good if Iruka was looking so smug. Really, really good judging by how Kakashi was sulking since the two lovers went at it like rabbits. Iruka wouldn't usually deny the scarecrow unless he was mad, and since he wasn't glaring at Kakashi, that couldn't be the cause of the silver-haired man's sulking. Nope, Iruka had definitely done something.
Anko shifted her attention back to her surroundings as Umbridge entered the Great Hall. Watching the woman, she couldn't help but grin visciously. She would pay for harming her little Naru-chan. She doubted that Umbridge would survive the year if Naruto's friends/family decided that Umbridge had taken things too far. Of course, seeing Shikamaru sitting with Neji, Sasuke, Temari, and Sakura at the Slytherin table, it looked like Umbridge already did. Turning her attention back to the toad once more, Anko again wondered just what Iruka had done, and what role Snape had played in it. Much to her disappointment however, nothing seemed to happen as breakfast passed by until it was time to get to class. Grabbing a handful of dango, Anko munched on her favorie food as she made her way to class, grinning at the thought of having her students running laps around the lake or castle. Since she wasn't in a particullarly sadistic mood, she decided to be nice and let them do their laps around the castle. In a lazy mood, she decided to relax and munch on her dango, knowing that none of the students would slack off too much since they didn't want her running behind them throwing kunai at their heels to 'encourage' them to run faster.
Stretching, Anko cracked her neck as she rolled her shoulders. "So Itchy, what do you think has Iruka so happy this morning? I didn't see anything happen to Umbridge, even though I'm positive he did something to her." Itachi snorted as he watched the class disappear around to the other side of the castle. "I've told you to stop calling me that. As for what Iruka did, I suspect a potion of some sort. Snape looked like you do after you finally get back at someone that's pissed you off without them finding out." Just thinking about some of the things she had done to the Council members had Anko cackling with laughter. She couldn't claim her work bacause of the trouble that would come with it, but she didn't need nor want to. Having an outlet was more than enough for her, especially since the fools didn't have a clue who hit them. Resigned to the fact that she wouldn't be finding out what happened to Umbridge until she cornered one of the two involved, or the effects of whatever they did started to show, Anko licked her lips as her class assembled in front of her and Itachi, breathing heavily. Well, she would pass the time tor-, teaching students until she could find out what would happen to Umbridge. At least she wouldn't grow bored.
While Anko was in a good mood having fun torturing her students, Kakashi was far from happy. Because of Umbridge, he had been denied his cuddle time with his little dolphin. There was no way he was going to forgive her, denying him of his cuddle time was the worse offense that could possibly be done to him. Hidden behind a genjutsu, Kakashi glared at the toad that had the audacity to deny him his cuddle time. She was going to suffer his fury. No one denied him his cuddle time with his dolphin, not even Naruto. Although, Naru-chan would cuddle with him if his dolphin was gone for more than a few days, but it still wasn't the same. His little orange book no where in sight, Kakashi lurked in the shadows in the back of the classroom, watching, waiting, for an opportunity to strike his revenge. Umbridge was about to have a very bad day.
With three fourths of the foreign teachers plotting revenge/torture of some sort on Umbridge, many would assume that the same could be said about the transfer students. Fortunately for Umbridge, their revenge was put on hold for something even more important. Although they still had a month, Sakura had raised the idea of throwing Naruto a surprise birthday party, something that they had never been able to give him since they had never really known when his birthday was, unwilling to press the blonde into telling them. Not wanting Naruto to suspect anything, Sakura had approached Sasuke and Temari at the Slytherin table with Neji and Shikamaru. If asked by Naruto what they had been talking about, Sakura would simply say that they were discussing how they could set up patrols without risking unwanted attention by being caught out missing at night. It was true as well that they had considered the idea, just not at that time and they had already decided that patrols would be easiest to do as couples, since it gave them a plausible excuse for being out after curfew, that or with someone from their team, which would also garner less suspiscion on them as well, especially with how close knit their teams were.
Having raised the idea of throwing Naruto a surprise birthday party, Sakura took charge of overseeing its organization. Since she had someone from every team but Team 8, it was easy for the idea to be passed around, Neji agreeing to fill Hinata in so she could inform Kiba without arousing suspiscion. Shino would be told by Temari or Sasuke during a class that they had without Naruto. They had a month to make their plans and get everything ready, all without Naruto even having a clue. Things would have to be done carefully and discretely. Sasuke had agreed to inform Itachi of their idea/plan, his brother passing it on to Anko. Sakura would talk to Iruka or Kakashi, having one of them slip a message to Tsunade about gathering presents and people for the party. The party would be easy to plan, especially since it was for Naruto. Having it remain a surprise party would take all of their skills as shinobi to keep the blonde from finding out.
At lunch, Sakura grinned as she gathered all of the girls at the Hufflepuff table, even snagging Anko. Sitting at the end, they huddled together as they whispered ideas to each other. Nothing would be written down until the week before the party, and that was only if it was absolutely needed. The only thing that would even possibly be written would be a guest list and what food would be needed. Seeing all of the girls sitting together giggling, Naruto decided to stay far far away. He shivered as he thought about the last time he had seen Sakura giggling with Hinata and Ino. They had planned a group date together. Fortunately for Lee, Kiba, and Chouji, their girlfriends were not cruel and had planned a group date that they had all enjoyed. It had been terrifying though to see the three giggling like fangirls that had finally caught their prey. Naruto wasn't the only one to carefully avoid the group of giggling females, the rest of the shinobi kept their distance as well. They didn't live as long as they did by being stupid. Interuptting a gossiping group of kunoichi, especially when they were giggling, was a verified death wish.
A/N: I am so evil, but it's so much fun. Since my reviewers have been so nice to me, I'll let y'all help with planning his birthday party. Leave an idea in a review and which character you want it to come from, and I'll weave it into the story. Gift ideas, game ideas, food ideas, guest ideas, all that jazz, whatever you want, I'll try to include it. However, I will not change the location of the party. Naru-chan's birthday party will be held in either the Great Hall, out by the lake, or a combination of the two. To the anonymous reviewer Shinigami, I have asked Lucky Neko 13 to draw a picture of a normal Gai, since I have nonexistant artistic talent. Now, as to a change in pairings. It was suggested by WithinThePoetsShadow that I pair Itachi with Remus or Sirius instead of with Anko. One of the plot bunnies in my mind seem to like the idea, so here is what I propose. I'll let my reviewers decided if I should change the pairings, and here are the proposed new changes in the pairings, or if you want them to stay the same.
Anko x Itachi
Anko x Snape
Anko x Remus
Anko x Sirius
Anko x Remus x Sirius
Itachi x Snape
Itachi x Remus
Itachi x Sirius
Itachi x Sirius x Remus
Or any other pairing that you would be interest in seeing. I'll try to keep an updated listing of where the votes stand in my profile. Speaking of my account, who likes the picture of my dog? Jazzy is so cute. Since I love my reviewers, I am giving each reviewer up to three votes, but I would prefer it if you were logged in when you did vote. My reasoning behind giving each person three votes is that I know that for some, it is difficult to choose. All of these are interesting ideas in my opinion. So, go forth and review and vote my loyal followers.