Summary: Orochimaru is working with Voldemort, the snakes have teamed up. Umbridge is in a good mood, plotting on how to disrupt what the girls are planning. Fudge is buried in paperwork and miserable. Sirius is starting to get cabin fever. Tsunade has done the impossible and finished her paperwork. Jiraiya's still a pervert and headed for Hogwarts. What trouble will he cause? When will he get to Hogwarts? And is there a prank war looming?
Disclaimer: I think that it's obvious now that I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.
Warnings: Out of character, boy x boy relationships, yaoi, language, etc.
Pairings: Sakura x Lee, Ino x Chouji, Tenten x Neji, Hinata x Kiba, Temari x Shikamaru, Tsunade x Jiraiya, Iruka x Kakashi, Kurenai x Asuma, Zabuza x Ibiki, Haku x Gaara
Future Pairings: Naruto(uke) x Sauske, Kankurou x Shino, Hermione x Ron, Harry x Draco, Shizune x Gai. Remus, Sirius, Anko, Itachi, and Snape will be decided by the votes of my wonderful, amazing, incredibly awesome reviewers. For the current standing of where the pairings lie, read the author's note at the bottom. Most current pairing standings can be found in my profile.
A/N: Another chapter. I'm on a roll. This one is also kind of a filler, but things will start picking up after this one. Again, I love reviews, so thank you so much for taking the time to review. I hope that you guys are enjoying this story. The next chapter that I post will probably be a fat one.
'Call me cute and you die.' --Demon talking/usually the Kyuubi, sometimes Shukaku
'Stop reading my mind' --thoughts
"Shut up, stop talking." --speech
"Ohayou. Buenos dias. Bonjour." --different language other than English/usually Japanese
Chapter Eighteen: It's Nap Time
--Konoha--
Tsunade fought a smile as she watched Jiraiya leap away. As perverted as he was, he truly did love her and knew how to cheer her up in his own way. She may love him, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't castrate him if he kept being too perverted. She was just about to indulge herself in her sake when Shizune came in, followed by the group she had asked for. Once they were all gathered and comfortable, meaning that Kurenai sat in Asuma's lap while Ibiki sat in Zabuza's with Shizune seated in the last chair, Tsunade leaned forward and spoke. "Things are starting to get interesting. Gai has managed to confirm that Orochimaru is working with Voldemort. I've sent Jiraiya to speak with Kakashi as well as to gather any information he can. Depending on how much he finds out, I may be sending you out to gather more information. The last time that Orochimaru plotted, Konoha was nearly destroyed. Akatsuki is gone, and Sound is no longer much of a threat, but Konoha does not need another war. We're still recovering from the Kyuubi attack in some ways, let alone from Sound and Akatsuki. At the moment, Orochimaru is the only major threat facing Konoha, which makes any information that can be found on his plans vital."
Pausing to make sure that she had their complete attention, she proceeded to give them details of what their mission would be should Jiraiya not find out all that much. "You will be joining an organization that fights Voldemort. It's called the Order of the Pheonix and is ran by Dumbledore. You will spy on Voldemort, and by default, Orochimaru. It will be harder to find out what Orochimaru will be doing, but by spying on Voldemort we may find out some of Orochimaru's plans since they are working together. Even if you don't, you will be helping the Order with the information that you gather. Since Orochimaru is sharing bodies with Voldemort, we should be able to deal with him if we can stop Voldemort. Essentially, we are after the same person at the moment, and the Order knows more of what you will be dealing with in the magical world. Fudge is denying Voldemort's return, which will make gathering information even more difficult. However, wizards know next to nothing about us, and I doubt that Orochimaru is willing to share anything about himself, so they will not be expecting most of the jutsus, especially genjutsus that can be done. This gives you an advantage in spying, as well as your ability to blend in effectively with the surrounding crowds, despite your unique appearances."
Zabuza snorted, but didn't interrupt as Tsunade continued. "You guys won't all be spying at the same time. You'll break up into teams and rotate however frequently you want to. You will also take over classes for Anko, Gai, and Itachi to give them chances to spy. Kakashi and Iruka may leave to spy once in awhile, but for no more than a day or two when their skills are really needed. Will you accept this mission if I assign it to you?" Asuma and Kurenai immediately nodded. They would be able to see their students again if they went. Ibiki smirked as Zabuza merely grunted. He was looking forward to seeing Anko again, and he knew that his bristly chair was eager to see his apprentice/son. Shizune was the only one who seemed to have doubts. "Don't worry Shizune, I'll do my paperwork, especially if Naruto keeps giving me cookies for being a good Hokage and getting her work done. If not, I'll ban ramen until he does." Shizune fought a smile as she nodded. She had proof that Tsunade would do her paperwork for some of Naruto's cookies. She was the first Hokage to actually finish her paperwork for crying out loud.
"Good. Unless I get a note from Jiraiya that asks for help, then I will be sending you out in about two weeks, so I expect you to be fully prepared by then. I want you ready to leave though at a moments notice, so pack a bag of essentials today. Until otherwise, return to your normal duties. I'll inform you of any changes in plan. Now scram, I want to take a nap." They didn't need to be told twice and quickly left, silently impressed at how the normally lazy Godaime had managed to finsih the evil known as paperwork.
--Hogwarts--
Sakura smiled as she walked with Ino, Tenten, and Hinata to class. They had decided on two possible locations for the surprise party. It would either take place in the Great Hall or out by the lake, maybe even both places if they arranged everything right. Anko had said that she would take care of informing the 'adults' as well as those in Konoha. She had already promised to make Gai swear not to breath a word about the surprise party. Keeping the party a secret was going to be the most difficult thing about it. The planning would be easy in comparison. They had already known that they would need to bring Amane and her father over to make Naruto ramen, and lots of it. The rest of the food would be made by the house elves, with a few of them demonstrating what dishes they wanted. There would be various foods, from dango to pizza.
"Sakura, how should we juggle Naruto around? He has his memories back, but I think he would get suspiscous if we aren't careful. We can't have both Gaara and Temari disappear at once." Sakura chewed her lip as she pondered Ino's words. "You're right Ino. We'll be limited to talking whenever we don't have the same class as him. For now at least, until we can figure out other ways to communicate. Kakashi, Anko, or Itachi should be able to distract Naruto when he has class with them, giving Kiba time to plot with the others. Anko agreed that she'll lay off of us during class so we can plan, just as long as we do our training, she doesn't care if we talk. We can always use summons so everyone is up to date on the plans, we just have to be careful that no one sees." "Someone in each house is able to use summons, and Kiba could always use Akamaru to pass messages to Hinata. It would look less suspiscious if we pass information between teams. Only Teams Seven and Eight are spread out completely. All the other teams are either in the same house, or have two people in the same house." "Tenten's right. We can also meet up in the library or each other's common rooms. Our only real problem is keeping Naruto distracted and having a way to warn each other if he's looking for us." Sakura smiled at Hinata's suggestion. "That's perfect. Although, we'll need to find a place where we can hide his presents." This statement lead to hushed whispers of what they should get the chibified blonde.
Naruto smiled sleepily as classes finally ended for the day. Resting his head on Kiba's shoulder, Naruto fought against falling asleep. They had so much homework to do, and it hadn't even been a month of school yet. "Ne Kiba." Kiba tilted his head to the side so he could look back at Naruto, who was draped over his back. "Hmm?" "When do you want to start the prank war?" Grinning, Kiba readjusted his grip on Naruto's legs as he began to descend the stairs. "Now is good." A snicker brushed past his ear. "You'll have to wait a bit. I'm still setting up the rules and ranking. I already have impartial judges for the competition. The war can begin in a week tops. If I were you, I would plot with Gred and Forge." Kiba nodded as he easily navigated his way through the crowds. "Kiba, over here."
Looking up, Naruto saw Temari waving them over from a corridor they were about to pass. "Temari-nee." "Naru-chan. You look tired. You are going to take a nap before dinner. Follow me Kiba. No arguing with me Naru-chan, you are going to take a nap." Naruto meekly nodded his head as he closed his mouth. No one ever argued with Temari when she used that voice. Not unless they wanted to be beat senseless with her fan. Needless to say, Kiba followed Temari obediently. She led the way down to the Slytherin common room, her glare keeping many of the lower years from commenting on their presence. Malfoy wasn't so smart to keep his mouth closed. "This is the Slytherin common room. Not some pound to bring in stray mutts and mudbloods." Kiba growled low in his throat, but didn't move to attack the blonde since he was essentially in enemy territory. Temari had no such qualms as the sound of flesh striking flesh echoed through the silent common room.
It was silent as everyone seemed to hold their breath, then it was broken by a loud screech. "You bitch. How dare you hit my Drakey-poo." Temari snorted as she easily side-stepped the punch aimed for her head. "Really Parkinson, you'd think that you would have learned in class that you are no challenge for me. You can't even lay a finger on me, let alone hit me." Pansy growled, but leapt back with a shriek as a large spider suddenly dropped down in front of her. "Oh sorry." "Kankurou, what did I tell you about playing with your puppets." Kankurou rolled his eyes. "Ah, but this isn't a puppet. Besides, I don't bother you when you're practicing with your fans." Temari rolled her eyes as he nudged the life like spider with her foot. "Where did you even get this?" "The twins. It's actually a plushie. I got it from them over the summer. I've just gotten around to practicing with it. It's pretty good training since it has so many legs I have to control." Temari rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips. "Good to know that you aren't slacking. If you can make it tap dance, I'll give you a get out of trouble free pass from me." Almost immediately the spider began to start to dance, not quiet managing a tap dance, but still close enough to be distinguished as an attempt.
"Do I have a time limit?" Temari thought for a moment, watching as Kankurou made the spider walk in a circle, trying to make the limbs move as naturally as possible. It was actually a pretty good way to train his chakra string manipulation. "By the end of the first week of October. I want the spider dressed up, shoes, tie, everything. It has to tap dance for at least a minute. If you can't pull this off, you'll face a week of personal training with me." Kankurou blanched for a moment, before gulping as he focused on the spider he had been moving. Moving his fingers subtlely, Kankurou continued to control the spider, jaw set as he focused entirely on his task. He could not fail. Not with a week in hell waiting for him if he should do so. No, he would suceed. Failure was not an option.
"Parkinson, don't mess with me or mine. You won't like what I'll do to you if you do." Pansy sneered, but made no attempt to pick a fight, not with Anko walking in. "Ah, Temari, I was looking for you. Girl's meeting at dinner at Ravenclaw. Make sure to snag your boyfriend before he tries to leave. I need that brain of his for an idea I have. Naru-chan, Itchy told me to tell you that you had better be taking a nap when he comes down here in an hour. He says if you aren't, that I get to set up something similiar to the Forest of Death, except it'll take place in the Forbidden Forest. I've been in there, but I prefer my forest. This one's just tame." Naruto pouted, but had Kiba put him down. "Fine. But I refuse to be the only one to take a nap. Someone has to take a nap with me." Anko grinned, grabbing Sasuke as he walked into the common room. "What do you want?" "Itachi told me to tell you that he's ordering you and Naruto to take a nap. He says that if the both of you aren't sleeping when he comes by in an hour I get ten copies of any of your baby pictures that I want. I also get to dress you up in skin tight leather pants and a fishnet top. You'll wear a collar and be my servant for a day."
Several of the girls began to drool as they stared at Sasuke, eyes glazed slightly. Sasuke shivered, grabbing Naruto and fleeing to the boy's dorms. They were in his bed with the curtains drawn in moments. There was no way in hell he would become Anko's personal servant for a day. His baby pictures were going to be destroyed as soon as he could find where Itachi kept them. There was only so much blackmail material his brother was allowed to have, and his baby pictures were not on the list. He was drawn out of his thoughts of where Itachi could possibly be keeping his baby pictures when Naruto cuddled into his side. Looking down, he pulled the sleeping blonde closer. He needed to find a camera before Naruto changed back to normal. The blonde was just too cute not to have any pictures of. Shifting so he was more comfortable, Sasuke closed his eyes. A nap sounded like a good idea, and in moments he was asleep as well.
Anko grinned at Temari, tossing her a camera. "You know what to do with that. I'll be seeing you my little snakes." A sadistci grin on her face, Anko left, humming happily. "Gaara, quit molesting Haku and come here a minute." Glaring at his sister, Gaara reluctantly left the shadowed corner where he had been having fun with Haku. He stopped glaring when he saw the glint in Temari's eyes. His sister was in a sadistic mood, something that he was smart enough to fear, even if he was stronger than his sister. "Summon Shukaku sometime tonight when no one is watching. Pass him off as your pet. No one will question you about him. I want Naruto to do the same with Kyuubi., before dinner if he can. Kyu will probably want in on helping to plan Naru-chan's birthday party. The two can also help with patrols." Gaara nodded. He may have been Kazekage, but he wasn't foolish enough to go against his sister's orders. Going back to Haku, he was disappointed to find his boyfriend working on homework. He frowned at his homework in distaste. It was almost as bad as paperwork, something that he was not missing.
Kiba ignored the glaring Slytherins as he sat at the table Shino was at, pulling out his own homework to work on. "How are you adjusting to the weights?" Shino shrugged, but after years of being his teammate, Kiba had learned the silent language that was Shino. "That's good. I'm not doing to bad. Going through the Academy moves for ten minutes or so each day helps out. Gotta respect Lee, even if he's insane. Do you know what you're going to get him." Shino shook his head, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I have no idea eihter, but we have a month, we'll think of something. Knowing the idiot, he'll say that we shouldn't have gone through the trouble of finding him a gift." Shino snorted, silently agreeing with Kiba's statement. Naruto was too nice sometimes. "Has he started playing matchmaker with you yet?" Kiba snickered when he saw Shino shiver. "If you don't want Naruto to hook you up with someone, you better find someone yourself, before he does." "Don't remind me." Shino's response sent Kiba into a fit of laughter, drawing even more glares that he easily ignored. "Don't worry Shino, Naruto's a little busy at the moment, so you're safe for a little while."
Temari froze as Naruto sneezed in his sleep, but when he didn't wake up, she went back to taking pictures. It took all of her will power not to squeal, but it was so hard. Naruto looked so cute curled up against Sasuke, the Uchiha curled protectively aorund him. Snapping one last picture, Temari left as silently as she had entered. She wouldn't be giving Anko her camera back until she extracted a promise that she'll give her copies of the pictures. Tucking the camera into a pocket, Temari settled into a chair near the fire and began on her homework. It was better to get it done and over with then to put it off. It just piled up into mountains that way. Temari shivered slightly as she thought about her homework becoming even remotely similiar to the amount of paperwork that she had seen on Tsunade's desk.
Jiraiya frowned as he went over what he had learned from his contacts. It would seem that Voldemort was moving very quietly. Building up his ranks as he manuevered his followers into key positions in the Ministry of Magic. He was moving slowly and cautiously, wisely using Fudge's stupidity to his advantage. Having just finsihed speaking with Dumbledore, he had no idea yet what Orochimaru was planning. If Gai hadn't overheard what he did, he doubted that they would have even known that Orochimaru was working with Voldemort. He was pulled out of his thoughts by Itachi returning, sliding a camera into his pocket. "Temari told me that she's asked Gaara to summon Shukaku, as well as having him ask Naruto do the same with Kyuubi. She wants the two to pass them off as pets. I told her to have them sent here before dinner. You can bring them down with you at dinner and act like you brought their 'pets' here for them. Do you know how to get to the Great Hall?"
Jiraiya shook his head as he stretched out across his bed. "No. Come and get me for dinner. We'll meet here with Iruka, Kakashi, and Anko after dinner. I have some information for you guys. It's not good either." Noting Jiraiya's serious face, Itachi hoped that things weren't about to take too drastic a turn for the worse. He had been hoping that this would be more of a vacation than an actual mission. It looked like it wasn't going to turn out that way.
A/N: Yep, it's another chapter, even with a bit of Sasunaru cuteness. What horrors await Hogwarts now that Jiraiya has arrived. You'll just have to wait until I post the next chapter. I love my reviewers. I've hit two hundred reviews now. Keep the reviews coming. Next chapter will include more Jiraiya and the rules of the prank war.
I won't close down the pairing voting until Christmas time in the story, which will be at least a month or two. Can't believe that I forgot to leave Sirius x Remus as a pairing option to be voted on.
Pairing Standings:
Sirius x Remus 1
Anko x Itachi 14
Anko x Snape 10
Anko x Remus 0
Anko x Sirius 1
Itachi x Snape 2
Itachi x Remus 1
Itachi x Sirius 2
Itachi x Sirius x Remus 0
Itachi x Anko x Snape 2
Anko x Remus x Sirius 1
Suggested Other Pairing:
Itachi x Deidra 6
Remus x Snape 1
Snape x Bellatrix 1
Voldemort x Bellatrix 1