CHAPTER 11

Six in the evening. The sun was just beginning to paint its lively pattern of yellow, orange, and red over the pallid blue sky. People were everywhere at that time, too, most of them on their way home to catch a lovely meal with their families and watch something funny on the television.

For Fujima Kenji, his day—or perhaps his life—already ended the moment he found out that Hajime Yuri was also within the vicinity of the library stairway when he was spinning his web of nonsense, as usual, to keep his close basketball friends within the bubble of his supposed tale of conquest for a little while longer. He'd tell them eventually, as any good friend would, but doing so before the dance could mean a disastrous weekend between him and whoever would be at the opposite side of the room at that time—something Fujima doesn't want to happen. In fact, revealing the truth to Takano and Nagano too early would place him (and Hanagata) against them. Best to avoid really.

So, which one of you won the bet? He heard Yuri's voice echo in his mind.

Fujima closed his eyes as he walked the streets of Yokohama alone. But it was a feeble attempt to shun the event that was reeling in his mind for the past five hours.

The soles of his feet ached, and that was no surprise, too. The events that followed had been a blur since Yuri made an appearance that time.

It felt like he had been going around in circles for hours. Looking down at his white shirt, he can tell that he looked like he needed five showers. He was a filthy mess like he had been to a fight. But, funnily enough, he couldn't remember. Fujima also noticed the bruising on both his arms, from his wrists and his inner elbows, like someone (or perhaps many someones?) at some point were gripping them tightly as if to hold him down.

Fujima stopped to look up from his shoes and realized that this side of the road looked familiar. Just three blocks from where he stood was the shelter. Maybe Yuri was there.

He made his way up unhurriedly. When he arrived, the interior looked darker than usual. This made Fujima see his reflection a lot clearer on the viewing window.

He ached all over like some battered building with heavy cracks in dangerous places. If he would have been weak-minded, he would have tumbled in front of a passing bus hours ago. Yet there he was, exchanging a dour look with himself and seeing what looked like two vertical lines across his cheeks and a nasty bruise at the corner of his lip.

So, he had been crying and was even punched by someone at some point. He honestly couldn't remember. Either that meant he was punched in the head that hard, making him forget—or he was that traumatized by the encounter with Yuri. Whatever the cause, he knew he'll slowly remember everything eventually.

Right now, nobody cares.

It was the first time he saw himself this shabby, and he didn't care about that either. All he wanted was to see Yuri.

He opened the door to the shelter and quickly spotted his boss slumped atop the receptionist's table, arms crossed and cradling her head as she slept peacefully. He can see the half-empty bottle of bourbon at one corner of the table.

Fujima closed the door quietly behind him then flipped over the door sign from OPEN to CLOSED. He didn't want people walking into the shelter unannounced and seeing his boss, practically, at her worst. Sure, Asuka-san drinks. A lot it seems. Not sure if it was anything to worry about, but he also understood why she did it. Even if it wasn't an everyday affair in the shelter—to the best of his knowledge, that is—she was careful not to let anyone, even "the family" (him and Yuri) see her drinking. Well, had been, until now.

He reached for the beaded chain of the wooden blinds beside the door and pulled, one hand methodically easing the chain slowly up as the blinds slowly dropped to the base of the window. He then made his way to the bookcase soundlessly so he could turn on the little lamp perched on one of the higher shelves. That illuminated the wider floor area a bit.

Should Asuka-san suddenly decide to wake up at some point, probably still groggy from her peaceful slumber, Fujima didn't want her to be moving around in the dark like feeling for her coat just two feet away from her and then stumbling over some chew toy before hitting her head on something hard as she made her way out the clinic. That would be terrible.

For a while, Fujima had forgotten about why he opened the clinic door and idled inside. Seeing his boss like this made him suddenly think of the animals. Were they taken cared of before Asuka-san popped open that bottle of whiskey and drank until her eyes glazed over and her mind floated up to the clouds.

Several weeks ago, he recalled Yuri looking quite upset after coming from Asuka-san's office. Fujima had assumed it might be work-related, that maybe their boss scolded her over not being visible enough. That was true though, as most of the days leading to the IJH competition at the Kanagawa Geijutsu Kaikan, Yuri was nowhere in sight. He remembered it well because that was the week that he had to take on all of the shelter tasks every day after coming from basketball practice already tired and quite stressed out.

She didn't just fire her, did she? he had thought, and that had made his heart skip against his chest. If it were true, he may have to leave the shelter to pursue Yuri. The only problem was he didn't think he was ready to leave ASAP, as he already grew very fond of the critters—both the big and small ones—he played with, fed, and bathed every single day.

Funnily enough, it was also at that single turning point that he had entertained the idea of being torn between choosing who and what he couldn't live without: the smart, bespectacled girl who threw his world upside down without even making an effort or (collectively) the slobbering, noisy, demanding, and moody dog, cat, bird, and reptile that endlessly asks for attention. The answer wouldn't have been simple.

Thankfully, his great fear of leaving the animal shelter, consequently leaving the animals—his animals, he stressed to himself—in the process, was quickly alleviated when Yuri had approached him and closed the door quietly behind her.

"What was that all about? Cat fight?" Fujima had teased, smirking, but Yuri just looked at him, not returning the smile.

"Asuka-san is drunk." she had said, and that completely wiped the smirk off his face. She had continued, "I caught her red handed nipping from a long whiskey bottle when I barged into her office, not knowing that she was there all along. I mean, how can I not assume that the room wasn't empty? The lights were off."

Yuri had realized that Asuka was hiding her drinking from the both of them and heaven knows for how long, which upset her greatly. Fujima had to reassure her that Asuka-san may have had a reason for hiding it from them. He can only surmise what those reasons might be, but generally most of them fall under the category of "It's for your own good not to know about this".

Yuri had asked him if he knew about it, and he said no. She had sighed at that, and said something about getting in touch with certain offices that can help alcoholics recover from the addiction. He had cautioned Yuri about jumping to conclusions. True, Asuka-san may not be that forthcoming with her drinking, but that doesn't mean she has a problem, or her drinking was affecting the well-being of the animals under her care. Yuri had been silent at that, appeared to consider what he said, and then looked at him thoughtfully. She was now smirking.

"You're probably right, Fujima-kun. I may be overthinking this too much," she had said. "Besides, I have never seen her miss a beat when it comes to work. That may be a pile of papers stacked on top of her office desk that needs sorting out or tending to all the animals herself at the same time. I've seen her do it countless times. She's quick, efficient, and mentally sharp. Not once did I see her refusing to dive in to do the dirty and tiring work herself. She's a soldier, and I salute her."

Fujima couldn't help but smile at those last words, recalling them now, as he looked at Asuka-san slumped on the desk. Her body was slowly moving up and down in a constant tempo as she softly breathed. He spotted a shawl draped at the back of her office chair, quietly went around it, lifted the shawl carefully, and then draped the garment over his boss like a makeshift blanket.

Yuri was right: Asuka-san would never compromise the animals for personal reasons, no matter how heartbreaking that was.

She drinks, yes, and that may be a problem on its own. But Asuka-san was very much in control of herself whenever she did it. Surely, she would never dare go over her threshold without taking any precautions or finishing off everything that needed finishing. Her being on a table now and not on the floor is proof of that precaution. He could also hear that the animals hardly rustled.

Before he even realized it, his feet were already moving towards the room where the cages were to check up on the animals. Not because his faith in Asuka-san suddenly wavered, but he thought it wouldn't hurt to check on them just the same. Besides, if anything, now was a great time to be in good company. He wasn't talking about the Shoyo basketball team, and that was that.

Fujima first checked on the smaller animals—the rodents, kittens, and pups—and made sure to drape covers on cages that need covering. He also made sure that there was enough water in their bowls and bottles. He proceeded to the fish tanks next, looked for signs of leftover flakes or fishes with swollen bellies, and concluded that they were already fed. As he was about to move to the cat cages, Fujima decided to double-back, grabbed the fish food shaker beside the tank, and shook a few more flakes into the clear water. Just in case.

The cats were all sleeping, if not on the verge of. One of them—a gorgeous brown and white Persian—meowed at him before slowly turning its head aside and closing its eyes.

He continued to drape cloths and fill water bowls with water in cages of bigger dogs and cats until he reached the last cage at the very end of the long, wide room. Lucille's cage. Fujima couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort as he approached the covered cage, as if he was about to meet an old friend he hadn't seen for a very long time. He slowly sat on his heels, clipping the varsity jacket between his lap and his firm stomach as he did so, grabbed two corners of the cloth and lifted it up, revealing a beautiful female Doberman with a dark silky pelt. Lucille's eyes opened as gentle light flooded inside her cage, and then raised her wet nose at Fujima.

"Hey, girl." Fujima greeted her quietly but with a lilt of cheerfulness to it, "How's my favorite canine doing today? You good?"

Lucille's ears perked up a bit, wagged her tail, and gave him a terse but quiet bark.

"That's my girl," he whispered back. Fujima grabbed the clipboard beside the cage where the dog's daily stats were recorded. He flipped several pages back to compare her previous data with the current, and smiled at the obvious. "I see that you're recovering a lot quicker than expected. That's really great news, you know that? You'll be out of here in no time." He flipped the pages back and replaced the clipboard.

Fujima then eased himself down at the unoccupied area on the left side of the cage. At this point, Lucille poked her snout out between the thin bars of her cage so that he could touch it. He caressed her lovingly and sighed.

"Honestly, you have no idea how much I envy you right now," he said then quickly added "All of you, actually." He was addressing all the animals in the shelter as far as his periphery vision could see. The cages appeared to loom over him like lifeless blocks of crates stacked one on top of the other. "My day didn't go too well, you see. I screwed up big time."

Outside, he heard the faint rumbling of the heavens threatening everyone below it that it'll be letting loose soon. It looked like he may be staying in for a little while longer, and that was fine. At this point, his legs were in so much pain that he was afraid to get up only to find them betray him.

Lucille whimpered and withdrew her snout from under his hand, stirring him out of his thoughts. He had no idea how long his hand had been resting on Lucille as if she was a comfy chair arm. "Oh, sorry about that." he said. "I guess you're disappointed in me now, too, huh?"

The canine opened her mouth very wide to yawn and licked her nose. She then looked at the lock that dangled at the side of her cage door like one would look with sudden annoyance. Lucille started pawing at it. The sound of metal clanging on metal disturbed the stillness in the big room they're in.

"Hey, stop it." he said in a loud whisper. "You're going to wake up everyone with that noise you're making."

From on top of him, Fujima was beginning to hear some of the animals rustling, as if they're slowly rousing out of their sleep. If they wake up, they will make noise in protest as well. And if they make noise, Asuka will wake up and check on why the animals are acting up only to see him slumped beside a dog cage.

That should never happen. He felt embarrassed just thinking about it.

Fujima turned to Lucille to fully face her. This stopped her from pawing the lock, thankfully. She looked at him with playful eyes, panting, her tail still wagging.

Oh, Lucille, you didn't just do that on purpose to make me open your cage. He grinned at that. Sometimes he thought that this beautiful police dog may be a lot smarter than what she was willing to let on, lest the bipeds begin to wonder and freak out.

"Let's make a deal, okay? I'll unlock your cage if you promise to be quiet. I'm really serious about this, Lucille, so please cooperate. Clear?"

The dog let out a little whimper, licked her nose again before resting her head between her paws, the cheerful and nonstop wagging. She was waiting.

Fujima got up and quietly walked across the room towards the entrance leading to the reception area. He poked his head inside to check whether there had been any change from the slight ruckus Lucille did earlier and felt instant relief when he realized that Asuka-san didn't even budge.

He opened the key box hanging on the wall between the door jamb and the first cage, revealing a bunch of keys, and picked the one with the number 22 on it. It was the key to Lucille's cage. He closed the box and made his way across the other end of the room quickly and soundlessly before Lucille decided to be impatient, paw the lock again—or howl—and definitely, definitely wake everyone and everything within a three-block radius.

Lucille quickly perked up, head no longer between paws, and began panting excitedly. With this reaction, Fujima suddenly felt afraid because it looked like she might start barking now. Was the dog really as smart as he thought she was, or was this something he just made up? She wouldn't be jumping around and scurrying from one end of the room to the other, would she? Fujima prayed that she wouldn't.

He knelt in front of the cage and inserted the key inside the lock's keyhole. Upon hearing a soft click, he unlatched the lock and opened the cage. For a moment, the canine appeared to not move. This bewildered Fujima, because it's not like she wasn't already expecting it. After a while, Lucille slowly stood up, sniffed the opening, and then made her way out slowly. Fujima settled himself back beside the cage.

The doberman turned and walked towards him, the enthusiasm in her wagging tail had diminished exponentially. A great sign. His faith in Lucille's smarts was not wrong.

"There you are," he whispered, extending his two arms towards her, like a lover welcoming his beloved. Lucille sheepishly bowed her head, tongue licking, and then slowly moved within the circle of those arms. Fujima hugged her, his face buried on her strong neck and fur as he breathed her in deeply. She smelled of lavender and mint. Being like this—suddenly feeling warm, safe, and not alone aimlessly walking for hours—seemed to comfort him immensely.

With eyes closed, his mind drifted back to that time of day at the stone steps leading up to the library with Takano, Nagano, and Hanagata. How things had been fine one minute and then falling apart in one quick swoop the next. He wasn't sure whether Hanagata already opened his mouth to the fellas to tell them the jig is up. But knowing Shoyo's star center, he didn't think that he would.

If Takano and Nagano had found out from someone else that Fujima had been lying to their faces all this time, that he had been madly in love with Hajime Yuri, it didn't bother him one bit. He can flick that aside as easily as one would flick dandruff off the shoulder: without second thought and without care. What he couldn't easily dismiss was the way Yuri had looked at him—looked at them—when she overheard the nasty things he had told his friends in the open air, under heaven, and not beyond earshot of the girl he's secretly obsessed with.

Her eyes cannot fully put to words the smorgasbord of emotion she may have been feeling. There was definite hurt in those eyes. That, he can tell. But there was something else that he can't put a finger on. Cold hate? Betrayal? What does betrayal look like if you gaze into the eyes of the person you claim to love anyway?

Dead eyes. Yuri had dead eyes at that moment.

"I killed something in her. I love her so much, and I killed something in her." Fujima said, not in a whisper this time but as plainly as someone would say to another person in the room. He choked at those words. "Yuri was true to me, trusted me, loved me for the asshole that I am…and I...I just took all that, rolled them to a big ball, and then shot it right into an incinerator. Like any asshole would do."

Before he even realized it, his face was already wet and the constricting pain on his throat and chest gave way to a breakdown that he had never experienced in his life. His body trembled fiercely as he tried his best to muffle his anguished sobs behind clenched teeth against the dog's soft neck, but it wasn't enough to be completely quiet. Outside, the rain was lashing now.

The more Fujima wanted to keep his emotions in check, the more his heart wanted to just let go, scream like no tomorrow, black out with fury. But he had a sneaking suspicion he had already done that hours ago.

Well, it wasn't enough. Fujima was mad at the world. But more pointedly, he was mad at himself.

Those eyes. Yuri's eyes bore the color of lifelessness. They seem to have affixed themselves in front of him when he closes his eyes, and they're not going away.

He felt Lucille jerk under him from the hug, making him think that he may be squeezing her too hard. As he let her go, the canine slowly turned her snout towards his face and started licking his cheeks. As if like a miracle, the overwhelming weight on his chest felt like it was never there. Despite what he was going through, Lucille's pink, warm tongue and the tickly feeling he got from her licking was just too sweet to not acknowledge. He was smiling as tears continued to stream down his cheeks.

"Okay, I'm stopping, I'm stopping," he finally told her after some time, making the canine stop. She was now panting as his hands cupped the sides of her big head and looked into her chocolate brown eyes. "What will I ever do without you, Lucille?" he said, and it sounded more like a statement than a question.

Lucille made a loud bark at that. Quickly and gently, Fujima lowered the dog's head to the ground, the index finger of his free hand rising and stopping in front of his lips. The canine, as if suddenly realizing her mistake, made a quiet whimper and her tail began to wag playfully.

"Come here," he commanded her gently and led her by the head towards the circle of his arms once more. This time, Lucille went in and laid down between Fujima's thighs. The Shoyo ace player welcomed her warmth and weight as she rested her chin on his tummy, over his dirty school uniform. He leaned back, head against the wall, and stared out at the window. The rain is still too strong to brave. One tear escaped the left corner of his eye and ran down his cheek. He let it. Both his hands were busy helping Lucille fall asleep.

Asuka remained in her seat, not moving. Her face was solemn, eyes wide open and quite damp as they looked directly at the framed photo of her, Kenji, and Yuri, which was taken during her surprise birthday party some weeks ago in this very place. It was her favorite amongst the batch that had been taken, which was why she grabbed it and framed it, kept it close and not beyond her sight on the table.

Sometimes, it cheered her up when none of them were in sight. Sometimes, it gave her a boost when one or both of them hadn't been in the clinic for days, too preoccupied to squeeze in some time to look or even visit the animals. After all, youth these days are busy like that. Right now, it served as a reminder for her of three things: a love gone wrong, a love confused, and a love betrayed.

Fujima had no idea, but it had been awhile now since her nap ended, thanks to the clanging Lucille had to ensue to be let out. It wasn't that loud, but Asuka was a shallow sleeper all her life, whether she nipped a bit from a bottle or not. She knew the young man was going to eventually give in to Lucille's plea, so when she heard him going for the key box, she closed her eyes and pretended to still be asleep. Suffice to say, she had heard the soliloquy that he had let on. Asuka didn't need to know the whole story to tell that Fujima was fiercely and utterly destroyed by what had happened. And whatever that was, it involved Yuri.

She had the faint idea that the two may have already started dating. No one told her, of course; she had to piece together the entire courtship stage on her own based on observations—from the many times Kenji had stared at Yuri when the girl wasn't looking, to the funny ways these young'uns would attempt to hide things from her. Like the way Yuri did when she slapped a hand over the elegant envelope (handwritten by Fujima, of course) that Asuka had already seen on her desk before she even came to work that day.

As a boss, Asuka didn't discourage her employees, volunteer or not, from dating each other. But she didn't encourage it either. There was always the possibility of things going south, and that would significantly affect not just the workplace but also the animals they swore to look after.

Asuka's heart was broken for Fujima and Yuri. She knew she couldn't meddle into their business, but as a friend she promised to be there for them should they want to talk things over. For now, she was already thinking of redoubling her efforts in the shelter for the coming days because, the last time she checked her calendar, the week will be packed. The animals need someone to be there more than anything.

If the two had ended their relationship, they'd be okay. In her gut, she knew. Those in the business of care usually already have overflowing love to offer others than they realized. They can start healing if they're willing to.

I pray for forgiveness and hope, she directed her thoughts to Fujima and Yuri. These were the two lessons she learned days after losing her husband and only son to a plane crash. She wished that Yuri would find it in herself to forgive him and that Kenji would forgive himself, too.

Note: This is the second to the last chapter. I know it's been 15 years since I wrote this but, life has a way of butting in as we get older, things change, interests change and fade.

It's almost the end of this story and I'm glad about that.

Disclaimer: Slam Dunk is not mine.