WARNING-READ THIS FIRST! THIS EPISODE/CHAPTER CONTAINS RACISM THAT MIGHT NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME AUDIENCES. I HOPE YOU ARE NOT OFFENDED BUT IF YOU ARE I WOULD RECOMMEND PASSING THIS CHAPTER BUT SINCE YOU ALL WATCH SOUTH PARK I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD MATTER TO EITHER THE MAJORITY OR ALL OF THE AUDIENCE
ANOTHER WARNING-THIS IS ANOTHER WARNING, IF YOU ARE READING THIS WARNING YOU MOST LIKELY READ THE WARNING ABOVE THIS WARNING AND CONTINUED READING THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE WHICH LEAD TO THIS WARNING THAT IS UNDER THE WARNING BUT IF YOU ARE READING THIS WARNING BEFORE THE FIRST WARNING YOU DON'T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS VERY WELL. FEEL FREE TO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER ANY WAY YOU WANT, I UNDERSTAND RACISM IS A TOUCHY SUBJECT M'KAY BUT IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY RACISM BUT CONTINUED READING THIS CHAPTER ANYWAY AND YOU WERE OFFENDED EVEN THOUGH I RECOMMENDED NOT READING THIS CHAPTER TELL ME IN THE REVIEW SECTION. I CAN TAKE ALL KINDS OF CRITICISM AND I UNDERSTAND THIS WAS A LONG WARNING SECTION AND MY MORE IMPATIENT VIEWERS PROBABLY STOPPED READING THIS BY NOW BUT IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS ENJOY THE CHAPTER!
Narration: Previously on "The Mystery of Mysterion". Kenny and Red attempted to get into Canada but needed passports. After attempting to get some at the Photo Dojo which name reminds me of Mojo Jojo from that one show, Kenny gave up a second time…but Red didn't. Red, not wanting to see anything happen to Karen decided to do the impossible, ask Stan, Kyle and Cartman for help. After Red embarrassingly gave into Cartman's demands he made fake passports for everybody and are now playing a new game…along with Red
Chapter 18: A Magical Adventure
Red's P.O.V.
"Do you have the passports finished Cartman?"
I asked
"My name isn't Cartman, it is the Wizard King and yes the passports are finished"
He handed me my passport and I looked at it
"Kim Kardashian?"
I asked
"I had to change our names just in case we get into some trouble there"
"And of course you didn't change mine"
Kyle said
"So what's your name then?"
I asked before taking his passport and reading it
"You changed your name to Clark Kent?"
"Why wouldn't I change my name to Clark Kent?"
"Because you're not Superman!"
"And you're not Kim Kardashian she's way sexier than you"
I felt a sudden flash of anger as I took offense to his comment. I'm sexy too! I'm a natural red head how am I not sexy?
"Well you're not even close to how handsome Superman is! You know what you remind me off? The marshmallow man from Ghostbusters!"
"Oh that's funny! At least I don't look like Sarah Jessica Parker!"
"AT LEAST I'M NOT-"
"Guys seriously stop bickering all the time it's just getting repetitive and annoying"
Kyle interjected. What nerve! He always bickers with Cartman
"Why is my name Jo Schmo?"
Stan asked
"I didn't really care to give you a better name, that's why"
Cartman said but I was ticked off so I just decided to get us out
"Guys seriously just whatever Cartman is a dick, we know by now but let's just do what I asked you guys for ok?"
"Ok"
"Fine"
"Whatever"
Stan, Kyle and Cartman answered in that order, before we headed to the Canadian border
Cut to: The Canadian Border, buddy
"Halt! Noneth shall crosseth into-"
"We have passports"
I stopped the Canadian Border patrol before he started
"Oh! Welleth allow me to see themeth"
We all handed them to the border patrol
"So Jo Schmo, Kyle Broflovski, Clark Kent and Kim Kardashian, welcome to the greateth nation of Canada!"
He opened the gate then began playing the trumpet (pathetically) to add some sense of "we are about to embark on a great journey" as we walked into to Canada…but I should have known that wasn't gonna happen.
Cut to: Canada itself not the border
Why did everything look 8-bit?
"So we are in the great 8-bit shit hole known as Canada now how do we find Lucifer, huh Red?"
Cartman asked me in a usual dickish tone. We were approached by two Canadians
"Hey look Olaf more Americans"
Is that supposed to be some kind of Frozen reference?
"Ah that's just great buddy!"
Olaf said with a certain type of sarcasm
"Look here guys! Tell your other American buddy who's turning North Canada into Lucifer Land to leave!"
"Hey guys he's in the Northern part of Canada"
I said excitedly. Of course you know who decided to shit on it
"Wow thanks for pointing that out Miss obvious, your gonna tell us there's grass on the ground as well?"
"SHUT UP CARTMAN!"
I calmed down a little
"Well we know he's up in the Northern part of Canada now so *deep breath* let's go"
We walked for what seems like hours until we saw a house. We approached it and I noticed a sparkle in the corner of my eyes. I walked over to it
"Whoa! Look at these!"
I squealed upon seeing these ruby red slippers. These are like my dream, not only are they stylish and they totally match my hair but they're a perfect fit! The weird thing is took them off these feet I dunno I guess the person was dead or something I didn't really care but more importantly I went back the guys to show off
"You guys like?"
I said posing. They will definitely think I'm sexy now
"Where did you get those from, the dump?"
"SHUT UP CARTMAN!"
Suddenly the whole sky went multi colored and a bubble slowly ascended from the sky. Why did things get so weird?
"Get me out! Get me out of this fucking bubble I've been stuck in here for 2 weeks! GET ME OUTTA OF HERE!"
I heard a voice come from the bubble which slowly floated in front of me and it looked like there was a fairy or a princess in there or a fairy princess. I popped it with my finger and the fairy princess grew to the size of an average person
"Ugh, oh um thank you little girl"
The fairy being said
"W-who are you?"
"Oh yes um I'm the Wicked Witch of the North and that person you killed was my sister"
"I didn't, I didn't kill her"
I stuttered
"Oh yeah then why are you wearing the slippers?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
I asked her
"Why do you think the slippers are red?"
It took me a second to understand what she said but when I did I immediately tried to remove them but I couldn't
"Eww I want these things off! Why won't they come off?!"
"You put them on so they cannot be removed until you leave this land"
"Figures"
I retorted
"Hey you don't seem very mad your sister is dead"
Kyle stated
"Yeah well she was a bitch anyway. But since you miss uh…"
"Red"
"Red are now the holders of the slippers come with me please, oh and bring your friends I guess"
Well kinda of an interesting start but I'm actually excited! This is gonna be just like the Wizard of Oz!
Cut to: Unknown place
"Where are we?"
I questioned
"We are in Munchkin Land young ones"
"Da fuck is "Munchkin Land" is that some new Dunkin Donuts amusement park?"
Cartman said
"No little fat boy it's a place where the Munchkins live peacefully. Here are some now"
The witch said as we wre walking down a path within Munchkin land and little people dressed as Leprechauns appeared from behind the bushes
"So the Munchkins are basically midgets"
"Yes, yes they are"
The witch stated after Cartman's comment. As we kept walking a stopped as a noticed something…
"Uh Miss witch of the North, what is that?"
"Oh those are the black Munchkins"
"The black huh?"
I said as the dark skinned Munchkins were out working in gigantic field picking cotton and performing all other types of hard labor
"Wow…"
I said virtually speechless
"I'm glad Token isn't here"
Stan pointed out
"Sweet dude I wonder if they have any Jewish Munchkins"
Cartman said, I couldn't even tell him to shut up because was just stunned at what I was seeing. I noticed two white Munchkins watching and eating chicken
"Hey, hey Steve look at this"
One of the white Munchkins said before tossing a chicken wing into the field. Suddenly all the working Munchkins ran after the chicken bone creating a dog pile, some of them even tripping over their tiny legs and they fought over the one bone
"Oh my god…"
Me and Kyle said in even more disbelief
"Hey try tossing a bone in there let's see what happens!"
Cartman called out
"Over here children"
The witch of the North beckoned us over and Stan and Cartman went but I had to drag Kyle over as he was in disbelief
"Alright well I surely hope you enjoyed the magic of Munchkin land"
"It was magically racist that what it was"
Kyle replied to the witch's comment
"Anyways here it is: The Yellow Brick Road"
The witch pointed out to the road in front of us before continuing
"Just follow this road and you will make it to Oz!"
"But we are going to Northern Canada"
"Oh…then just follow the red on the yellow brick road, Farwell"
Here goes nothing I guess. We began our journey down the road. The Munchkins began to sing
~Follow the Red Brick Road!~
~Follow the Red Brick Road!~
~Follow, follow, follow, follow the Red Brick Road!~
~Follow the Red Brick, follow the Red Brick, follow the Red Brick road!~
~Your off to North Canada! The best Canada there is!~
~It's full of castles and some flags but it certainly ain't a drag!~
~You'll love the people, you'll love the town and there will never be a single frown because, because, because, because, because!~
~It's the best town to ever be found!~
~Your off to North Canada! The best Canada there is!~
Author's note: Ok somethings I'd like to say
I apologize that I didn't upload Sunday like usually do, truly sorry but I went out Sunday and I couldn't upload so did want to do this upload as soon as possible for you
I realize I'm probably going to get some comments about this chapter's racism but this is the only chapter I made like this and I hope no one is offended but this is a South Park Fiction that I wrote and people who know me already know how crazy I am but if anyone was offended I apologize deeply
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and stay tuned for 19!