Narration: Previously on "The Mystery of Mysterion". Red and the 3 boys travel to Canada and embark on a legendary journey to the mystical North Canada. After taking slippers of the feet of a dead person, Red and the boyz encounter the Wicked Witch of the North who leads them through Munchkin land and puts them on the Red Brick Road…
Chapter 19: Moah Adventure!
Red P.O.V.
We all could still here the Munckins singing in the distance despite how far we've gotten
"GOD SHUT UP YOU DAMN MIDGETS!"
Cartman screamed, obviously still hearing the singing in the distance
"Uh Red.."
"Yeah Stan"
"Where do we go?"
"That witch lady said just follow the Red Brick Road"
"Yeah but look"
I looked ahead where Stan Marshwalker pointed…it branched off into 3 different paths
"Aww great, just great Red. How are we supposed to get to North Canada now?!"
"Shut up Cartman let me think…"
"It's not Cartman it's the Wizard King!"
He shot back at me before I pondered. What could we do? We could just split up but then maybe one or two of us find North Canada while the rest of us are stuck in the middle of the Canadian wilderness. Suddenly, a man came running out of the forest
"What are you children doing here?! Don't you know?! This is the giant's territory! You have to run!"
The man said before racing away from us, suddenly I heard stomping. It shook the very ground with each stomp. A large humanoid figure that stood at least 7-8 feet tall was approaching as the stomping grew louder…it's features being blocked out by the darkness of the forest but as it came into the sunlight I saw it…
"IT'S HIDEOUS!"
I screamed and Cartman was running around screaming
"Great, just what Canada needs, more filthy Americans"
The giant said. Dick...
"Hey…hey, you must be that Scott the dick guy Ike told me about"
Kyle said
"I might be but I also might not, what's it to you?"
I noticed a parrot on his left shoulder, it spoke
"KAW! Actually, he was Scott the dick KAW! But he got radiation poisoning which caused him to mutate and grow into a giant dick KAW!"
"Damn it shut up Polly!"
Scott said to the parrot on his shoulder. God this place just keeps getting weirder…
"How come you were chasing that guy?"
I asked
"Because he took my cup of Kraft"
"Cup of Kraft?"
"My Kraft macaroni!"
"KAW! Scott does love Kraft maKAWroni"
"Okay well that's great and all but can you move? You're blocking our path"
"You aren't allowed to pass it's already bad enough we have some other American causing mayhem here I'm not letting anymore into the great nation of Canada"
"But we have to go to North Canada"
I told him and he seemed to perk right up afterwards
"North Canada eh? I hear there that a great wizard resides there…Let me come with you"
"Fuck off Scott"
Cartman stated
"Oh and people call me a dick! Come on you don't know what's it's like to have your Kraft macaroni stolen it's not fair!..."
He suddenly started to sing. What's with this place and singing?
~I could be sittin on my couch, feeling like a slouch~
~With some pasta in my pouch~
~And with my little spoon I wouldn't be watchin poon~
~If I only had some KRAFT~
"Dude stop it"
Stan said but he continued
~That's asshole took my food and that was just rude~
~Now it's my turn to intrude~
~But I could easily change in just such short range~
~If I only had some Kraft~
"You don't have to sing you can stop now"
"Seriously we just wanna get to North Canada"
Cartman then Kyle stated
~I'd be able to fill my tummy because Kraft is just so yummy~
~Iffff I only had some Kraft~
"Please stop it"
I said…the bird continued this time
~KAW! I could finally sleep and dine and it would be so divine~
~KAW! And not listen to him wine!~
~KAW! He's being keeping me awake and I'm so mad I just shake~
~KAW! If he only had some Kraft!~
"ALRIGHT STOP SINGING!"
We all screamed at once
"Then just bring me to North Canada! You won't even know I'm there"
"Alright Scott whatever"
I stated frustrated
"Yay! Polly! We are finally going to North Canada!"
"KAW! Maybe I can wish for a less annoying voice KAW!"
"You won't regret this, you won't even know I'm here"
"KAW!"
"Stop it Polly that's bad"
"KAW!"
"Bad Polly"
"KAW!"
"Bad Polly"
5 minutes later
"Bad Polly"
"KAW!"
"Bad Polly"
"KAW!"
"BAD POLLY!"
"I can't believe I actually hate somebody more than Kyle"
Cartman mumbled
"It's alright Cartman, North Canada can't be super far away right?"
We noticed a sign in front of us right after I finished the sentence, it read "North Canada: Super Far Away". Cartman screamed after that.
"Hey guys"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT SCOTT?!"
We all screamed
"Well never mind then! Since you guys want be dicks why don't you talk to that creepy person in front of us?!"
I looked at the person, he had his back turned to us and he was wearing a black cape with a hood…maybe he's lost
"Uh…maybe he's lost you guys"
"Why should we care?"
"Because Cartman it's not nice to leave somebody stranded"
"Because Cartman maybe he's lost abliblo beublob biblobbelb"
Cartman mocked me
"Shut up Cartman! We should ask him to make sure he's okay"
"Ok Red sure you can go talk to the creepy dude who is probably a pedophile rapist who will have his way with you…have fun!"
I seriously hate Cartman, have I told you that? Anyways I walk up to the caped figure
"Excuse Mr. Sir are you lost?"
"No mah"
He replied as he turned around…he looked like a white gangster
"Who are you?"
"Mah name is Wayne D mah I'm coming up here from South Park mah to find myself a gang mah because you be trippin you think I'm a real gangster yet mah I've gotta find a squad first mah than I be real gangster shit mah cappin bitches, shootin up other gangs mah it be some real fun ass shit mah"
….What did he just say?
"Aww it's just that gangster dude I saw from my anger management class"
Cartman said
"What from that whole T.M.I. thing"
Stan asked and Cartman replied with
"Yeah"
"Aye it's my bruh porky mah how you be doin mah?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine Wayne D, the hell are you doing here?"
"I be tryin to make a gang mah I can't be no gangsta with no gang mah so I be headin up to that place call North Canada mah I be hearing there be some wizard up in that part of the hood mah so I be hopin he can't grant my wish for a squad mah"
Suddenly music began playing
"Oh no don't tell me he's gonna-"
~Imma man without a squad like some bum without no quad~
~They be like "I want it mah"~
"That doesn't even rhyme"
I stated
~Imma get into fights and it would feel right~
~If I only had a gang, mah~
"You're a gangster why are you singing?"
Cartman asked
"Hey you right mah…I should be rappin"
"NO!"
We all called out but he ignored
~Yo, yo my name is Wayne D and imma get a squad of three, cuzzzz people ain't understandin me~
~Sure I might be white but that is alright because imma gangster mah~
~Mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah-
"ALRIGHT WE GET IT!"
We all screamed again. God this place is even weirder than South Park…
"Are you gonna let me come to North Canada with you mah?"
"As long as you don't ever rap around us again…sure"
I submitted
"This is just proof that white people shouldn't rap"
"CARTMAN STOP BEING!-You know that actually wasn't racist"
I caught myself…What? It's true! I can't rap to save my life, My name is Red and I knew a guy named Fred, his brother's name is Ned….see?
Cut to: Next scene
"And that is why I'm called a dick"
"Great story Scott I guess your gonna tell us how you met Polly too huh?"
"Yeah! So I actually met Polly at an Animal Shelter, she was returned, 20 times apparently because her owners found her annoying for some reason-"
"Cartman why did you have to say anything?"
Kyle asked as we were about to listen to another story…I wish Kenny was here
"Hey Red"
"What do want now Cartman?"
"Is that one of those little midget dudes hanging himself?"
"Uh what?"
I looked at where he was pointing…
"Oh my god!"
I screamed before running over to the Munchkin hanging off of the tree branch with a rope around his neck…poor guy
"Damn little short stack is frontin mah!"
"Damn I remember they removed that from the Blu-Ray release"
"REMOVED WHAT?!"
I screamed. The hell did Cartman mean Blu-Ray release? It's not like this is some shitty spoof of some movie where some girl from Kansas winds up in some magical place with a Scarecrow without a brain, a Tinman without a heart and some Lion with no courage and their on a quest to Oz to find a wizard who will grant them wishes…or is that exactly what this is? Suddenly, I heard a menacing voice…
"You shouldn't have come to Canada, buddies…"
Author's note: Chapter 19 everybody! I meant to upload this last Sunday but I actually had a bit of writer's block. Crazy eh? That's rare for me because I typically don't have trouble writing these chapter but this one I did. On top of that I've playing this game called Evolve a lot more lately because it had a recent update and I've been hooked on it. I hope you enjoyed and watch out for Chapter 20!