Author's Note: I made a slight change to the last chapter regarding the nuclear powered spaceship. Nothing major, but I realized that I was reducing the cost far too much for a first generation invention.
The Powder Keg
Borg Collective Headquarters November 3, 2059 AD
Thurgood had known Jeff for almost a decade now and he still did not have a proper grasp of what the good doctor thought of him. At times Dr. B would be all, "Thurgood, my fine colleague, I do believe you to be the finest human being I have ever had the pleasure of working with," and yet other days he was like, "LOUD NOISES! I am yelling at you!" Jeff was just a strange, strange man, his mood swings were more unpredictable than a teenager on her first period. At first Thurgood had thought it was because Jeff was tripping on some truly epic drugs, but when Thurgood had asked him to share, Dr. Borg had said he wasn't taking anything. Either Jeff was lying so he could hoard the drugs for himself or he really was sober all the time. Thurgood wasn't sure which one he found more depressing. Probably being sober. Thurgood wouldn't wish that on anyone. Even people on death row deserved a good mind altering drug at least once. Actually...
"Hey! Muffin Man!"
The door to Thurgood's office opened and a drone stepped inside. With the exception of the cybernetics that made its head resemble a giant metal muffin (hence Thurgood's nickname for it) this drone had no noticeable augmentations. "Yes Mr. Jenkins What can we do for you?"
"I just had an idea for a law we should lobby governments to pass."
"What law would that be?"
"...I don't remember."
"Very well Mr. Jenkins."
"I will let you know if I think of it."
"Of course, this drone shall remain outside if you need us."
"Right on Muffin Man," and with that the drone stepped out into the hallway and closed the door.
Damn, what was the idea he had? Thurgood was sure it was a good one. He should check his calender, see if he had some upcoming conferences. That was probably what the law was about, some new thing he was supposed to tell people about. Thurgood spun his chair around to face his iWall. Apple products used to be out of his price range but ever since he started working for the Collective, he was getting access to a lot of stuff he never used to, like medical grade LSD. He had tripped major balls on that stuff. The iWall wasn't as good as drugs but it was pretty handy. His bosses could schedule events and Thurgood would see the changes when he walked into his office. It could also be used as a giant video phone, could access the Internet (porn on a high definition screen this big was awesome) and was connected to Thurgood's iTunes account. Thurgood tapped the screen to bring it out of sleep mode and checked to see what he had to do for the next two months.
On Friday, Thurgood would discuss the horrible car accident that almost claimed Dr. Borg's life. Luckily, the Collective managed to get him to one of their hospitals in time to stave off death. Jeff's spine had been badly damaged so he had gotten several cybernetic augmentations throughout his torso and lower body to enable him to retain function of his legs. Thurgood had visited him in the hospital, Jeff had been very glad that the Collective had saved his body rather than deciding to implant him with a neural transceiver to save his brain. It must have been a really bad car wreck if that had been a consideration.
On the fourteenth, Thurgood would be holding a press conference to discuss how the Collective would be fixing the overcrowding problem in American prisons. Somehow, the Collective had convinced the government to institute the Brunei method of punishment: criminals would be forcefully implanted with neural transceivers. When sentenced, the length of time spent in jail would instead be time spent working for the Collective. When their sentence was up, the transceivers would be removed and the convicts could rejoin society. Thurgood found it odd that no one ever chose to leave the Collective and was curious if the criminals would be the first ones to do it. He was sure someone from the ACLU would be at the press conference, ready to do lots of yelling about how the transceivers infringed on the rights of the criminals. Thurgood decided he would need to smoke some extra strength weed before that engagement, might be time to get the pineapple express out of the baggie.
On the twenty first Thurgood was supposed to announce that, due to Canada's peaceful break away from the United States, there would be no delay in the construction of the GE-Collective-TransAlta nuclear fusion power plant outside of Edmonton. When the plant became operational in two year it would be able to supply power to all of Canada as well as Alaska. He was also supposed to announce that because of the rather violent war for independence in Mexico, GE and the Collective would be holding off on building a plant there until the political situation stabilized. Thurgood didn't understand why the government wanted to keep Mexico so bad. Sure, the prices of illegal drugs dropped when Mexico joined the United States but Thurgood doubted that was why the government wanted to keep it as a state. Hell, they let all of South America and most of Central America leave without a problem (Panama remained under United States control) so what was so important about Mexico?
The twenty eighth was Black Friday, so Thurgood was unsurprised to see he had the day off of work. He also didn't have any announcements to make on December fifth because that was when the Collective was flying him to Sweden. On the tenth, he would be accepting a Nobel Prize on behalf of the Collective for their perfection of electric cars. The big problem with nuclear fusion was that it couldn't be scaled down for use in anything smaller than a jumbo jet. For things like automobiles, private airplanes, and personal boats, oil was still needed up until the Collective unveiled their new battery. Thurgood didn't understand how the engine worked exactly, only that the batteries could last for a long time and were rechargeable from any wall socket. Plugging one of the new batteries would have caused electric bills to skyrocket but with the nuclear fusion plants driving power costs down, the increase electricity usage was financially negligible for most consumers. In the two years since new batteries went public, the American government had passed multiple laws requiring the switchover from gas to electric vehicles. Thurgood was surprised with how quickly the whole United States changed cars. At least global warming was no longer a problem, well...it was, but it wasn't the United States fault. Now it was Asia's fault for refusing to move over to battery powered engines just because it would cost a lot to get rid of all their gassy cars.
According to the calender, Thurgood was given tentative plans to announce the successful testing of psycho-history on the twelfth of December. The Collective had done this once before when they had told him to announce that they had successfully implanted neural transceivers in a pod of dolphins. Somehow, dolphins were supposed to help them fly in space better. Didn't make any sense to Thurgood but a couple days before the press conference the Collective had changed their mind (or was it minds?) and told him to announce an increase in scholarship opportunities. Guess this meant they were worried the announcement of psycho-history might not be too popular. Wait...what in the name of Bob Marley was psycho-history? The history of an Alfred Hitchcock movie? Had the Collective discovered the secret oral traditions of the Pre-emptive Stealthy Yukon Crisis Hit-men Organization? Thurgood always knew that Canadians couldn't possibly be as well off as they were without having some kind of military. Suddenly it all made sense now, the reason no one ever attacked Canada wasn't because they were right next to the United States, it was because they had a highly trained squad of killers based out of the Yukon Territory. It was so obvious, how hadn't anyone noticed before? Hold on a minute...that didn't make any sense, Yukon started with a U not a Y. Eh, whatever. Someone would tell him what it meant eventually.
Then on the ninetieth...nuts. It was one of those really boring press conferences. Thurgood would have to talk about the Collective's buyout of Time Warner and how they wouldn't require all their new employees to become drones, Plexicorp's decision for a stock split, the Collective's opinion on the recent corporate welfare bill being discussed in Congress, and other things that were sure to create a snooze-fest. Might need to break out those mushrooms the Collective had brought back from the Amazon to make it through that conference.
The next week Thurgood had off seeing as how it was Christmas. Well, that was fun. It was nice checking to see what his schedule for the next two months would be. It gave Thurgood a sense of purpose, knowing he was working hard at his job when other less fortunate people were doing things like doctoring or lawyering. Was it lunchtime yet? Eleven thirty...close enough. With tremendous effort, Thurgood got up out of his chair. Those Tempur-Pedic chairs were just so comfy, you never wanted to get out of them. They tended to really absorb odors though, Thurgood's smelled like a combination of sweat and pot. Thurgood walked out of his office and headed down the hallway to the cafeteria, with Muffin Man a few steps behind him. Thurgood like having a personal assistant, though he did find it weird that all Muffin Man did was stand outside his office waiting for whenever he was called. He at least deserved a chair to sit on, or a blunt to smoke...eureka! The law!
Thurgood quickly spun around, "Muffin Man! I remember the law I wanted to tell you about earlier!"
"Yes Mr. Jenkins? What was it?"
"We should try to get a law passed that will allow every drone to get high! Wait...that doesn't seem right."
"The United States legalized recreational marijuana usage in 2020 Mr. Jenkins. If we so wished, any drone could partake in smoking or eating the drug."
"Yea...good point."
"Anything else Mr. Jenkins?"
"Um, no that will be all. So what's the cafeteria serving today?"
"The same thing is serves everyday Mr. Jenkins."
Thurgood let out a long groan. "Why don't you guys ever serve something different? I get tired of this genetically engineered paste. Why can't you serve a nice, greasy burger? Or a deep-fried Twinkie? Or use the recipe for those brownies I gave one of the chefs?"
"Because Mr. Jenkins, those food's are not conductive to a efficient healthy body. The Collective has done numerous tests on a wide range of foods and people. We know what the human body needs. Deep fried Twinkies are not needed."
"But the paste is just so..." Thurgood rubbed his forehead trying to think of the right word. "I've drank bong water that tasted better, let me put it that way."
"Taste was an evolutionary necessity for detecting possible poisons. It is no longer needed and has, in fact, become a hindrance to human development as it causes overeating and thus weight gain."
Thurgood had to, begrudgingly, admit Muffin Man had a point, "You don't have to be so logical."
"If not for logic, humans would be nothing more than intelligent animals."
"HA! You're wrong! The whales at Sea-World are way more intelligenter than some people I know. And those fish don't have any logic, being animals and all according to you."
"...we are at the cafeteria Mr. Jenkins."
Thurgood was in a great mood. It wasn't often he got prove someone on the neural network was wrong. Normally they were way too smart, but it was nice to know that if your brain was al naturale you weren't that far back on the bell curve. Thurgood walked over to stand in line for some food, with his assistant taking the spot him. "Muffin Man, question time."
"What would you like to know Mr. Jenkins?"
"The Collective has created cybernetics that can replace any part of a person's body right?"
"With the exception of the brain and reproductive cells, you are correct. Male sperm cells and female egg cells can be kept alive in cybernetic organs but they lack the ability to create new cells. Once the supply runs out, the patient becomes sterile. The human brain is far too complex to be replicated with current technology. Not even Dr. Borg has been able to design a machine that can hold a human's thoughts."
"What? Then what is with the Collective's advertising? Talking about how people's brain live on forever once they join?"
"As long as they are on the neural network, their thoughts are distributed on it. Once they leave, be it via death or by removal of the neural transceiver, what memories they had up to that point are saved on the network. We can access all their previous thoughts, put no new ones are created."
"You just said a human's brain is too complicated to be on a machine, but then you said the brain is saved on the network. Am I about to prove you wrong twice in one day? That's gotta be like a record or something." Thurgood decided he needed to call the Guinness Book of World Records when he got back to his office and find out what the current record was.
"Mr. Jenkins, the network is not strictly mechanical hardware. Remember, its also consists of organic wetware. Furthermore, things are distributed across the whole network. No central hub exists. With the Collective's current level of technology, we cannot build a single machine that could hold the consciousness of a human and would preserve it and allow it to grow. At best, it would be an imitation of the personality without any ability to grow."
Well that killed Thurgood's mood. Darn drones, couldn't they have explained it better so that he didn't get his hopes up? "Oh...well anyway, back to my question. So if you guys can create cybernetics for any body part, except the brain, then you can create stomachs right?"
"That is a part of the human body that is not the brain so yes, Mr. Jenkins, we have cybernetic stomachs available for purchase by customers that desire one."
"Right, well here is my question: does it have to be in the same place as normal stomachs? Could you, like, put the stomach so that it doesn't connect to the mouth? So that way people could feed themselves by sticking a plug into a wall socket or something? That way you wouldn't need to serve bad tasting food? You serve normal decent-tasting food here and get all your healthy stuff from the power company or whatever?"
"That would not work because...please wait for a moment while we think about your suggestion Mr. Jenkins," Muffin Man said.
Thurgood was surprised. He may have stumped a drone twice in one day after all. Thurgood stuck his hand in the box at the beginning of the food counter and winced as it pricked him, extracting a blood sample. After twenty seconds a drone in the kitchen came forward with a bowl filled with the oh so wonderful paste, specifically tailored for Thurgood based on whatever readings the machine took of his blood. He really wished the Collective would serve some normal food. Sure, Thurgood could have gotten in his car and drive to a restaurant, but that would require effort. Furthermore, that would require money that could be better spent on drugs. The paste may have tasted horrible but it was free.
Thurgood took his bowl and found a table to sit at, and shortly afterward Muffin Man joined him. Thurgood noticed Muffin Man's paste was orange where as his was brick red. He had no idea what that meant, but it was something to occupy his thoughts while forcing the paste down his throat. They both began eating in silence, and Thurgood watched with envy as Muffin Man ate without the slightest grimace or hesitation.
Suddenly, Muffin Man spoke, "Mr. Jenkins, after much debating, we have determined that your suggestion is theoretically possible. It will require testing and numerous cybernetic implants, but it should be possible for a human body to get the sustenance necessary to function without eating anything. Due to your position with the Collective, you cannot be a candidate for the test trials, but once we move out of the prototype phase you may be implanted should you wish."
"I have either had too many drugs today or not enough because I could swear you just told me I was right, again."
"Based on the chemistry report of your blood sample we can safely say that you have had too many drugs. But in response to your statement: your idea has merit and will be researched Mr. Jenkins."
"Well, this is turning into quite the day for me Muffin Man. First, I beat you in the whale argument, and now I've given you an idea on how the power a person. Do you think an extension cord up the butt would work or would that be too simple?"
"...eat your lunch Mr. Jenkins."
Borg Collective Asclepius Hospital November 3, 2059 AD
Jeff was glad to be out of the trauma center of the hospital. Looking at all the other injured people, lying in their beds and moaning, was just too depressing. Now he was in the recovery ward, in a private room. Jeff was glad for the peace and quiet, he was sick of various people hobbling over to his bed and trying to talk to him. Being the face and voice of the Collective was damn annoying at times. Currently, he was laying in bed trying to catch up on his reading. He had already plowed through the works of H.P Lovecraft and was halfway done with his collection of Philip K. Dick books. Jeff just wished all the Collective nurses would leave him alone to get his reading done, he was sick of all the physical therapy. The implants worked fine, he could walk, so leave him alone.
To add one more annoyance to his ever-growing list, there was a sudden knock on his door. "I did my Oedipus-ing exercises this morning! I don't need medical attention!"
"Well that's good because I'm pretty sure that I don't have a medical degree." Thurgood said as he walked into the room.
"You're pretty sure? As in you're not 100% certain? How is that possible?" Jeff asked as Thurgood pulled a chair over next to the bed and sat down.
"I drank a lot in college. I'm missing quite a few memories from that time, including my gradation, so I'm not really sure what my degree is in."
Jeff set his iTablet down in his lap in shock. "Wait, you attended college? No wait, you graduated college? And how do you not know what the degree is in? Just look at what is written on the document."
"Yeeeaaa, I sold my degree at a yard sale a couple years ago so I'm not sure where it is now."
"Considering how every time I talk to you, you tell me the dumbest thing I have ever heard, I should really stop being surprised when you tell me something even dumber." Jeff said as he rubbed his forehead.
"What can I say J-man? I'm a surprising guy. Sometimes I even surprise myself. Heck, just the other day I couldn't find my keys, I searched for hours. Turns out, they were in my pocket! Who would have thought, huh?"
"Shouldn't your pocket have been the first place you looked?"
"No way! After the Noodle Incident I never look in my pockets unless I really have to."
"I...uh...what?" Jeff didn't know which part of Thurgood's statement left him more confused.
"Hey, speaking of what, what was that thing you shouted at me earlier? Oedipus? Why did you yell that?"
"It's an insult, Thurgood."
"An insult? How so?"
"Because Oedipus was a mother fu-you know what? Its not important." Jeff said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Explaining the insult would take away the fun of shouting it at people.
"Wait, wasn't he the Egyptian God of the Dead?" Thurgood asked after a moment of thought.
"That was Osiris."
"Oh...is it the biggest mountain on Mars?"
"That's Olympus Mons."
"Ah, OK. So it's the disease old people get where their bones get fragile then?"
"Osteoporosis."
"Epic Greek poem written by Homer?"
"Odyssey."
"An alloy commonly found in platinum ore deposits?"
"Osmium."
"The ability of a solvent to move without any input of energy?"
"Osmosis."
"Really old video game about the Mudokon slave?"
"Oddworld. How do you know all of this!"
"I dunno," Thurgood said with a shrug. "I watch a lot of the History Channel."
"That is a bold faced lie. The History Channel has nothing but those stupid reality shows on so I know you can't learn anything from watching it."
"OK OK. Couple months ago, after a night of hard drinking, I woke up to find myself stuck in the vents of some high school. Took me four hours to get out. The teachers' lectures would echo through the vents while I crawled through them.
Jeff let out a long sigh, it was going to be one of those days. "What are you doing here Thurgood?"
"Ah well, you see, interesting story. Earlier this morning I said to myself: 'Steve-
"Steve?"
"Yea, I named myself Steve last night, don't worry I changed it back to Thurgood before I came to work. So anyway, I said to myself: 'Steve, it is time to let that psychic Jewish zombie into your head, he needs brains. So I ate the bread that I stole from some pigeons in the park to get rid of the evil rib lady. But, of course, it didn't work. She was still outside the liquor store asking if I had any money."
Jeff could feel his left eye twitching as he tried to follow Thurgood's story. At this rate his brain would cause him to stroke just so it wouldn't have to listen to this stupidity anymore. Seeing as how Jeff didn't want that to happen he would have to take action. "NURSE! NURSE! I'm readying for my physical therapy!"
"Oh, why didn't you say I was keeping you Dr. B? I'll skip to the point of my story. Do you have any advice for what I should include in the acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize?"
"WHAT? Why would you be making the acceptance speech? I accepted the Nobel Award when the Collective figured out superconductivity! It's the only reason nuclear fusion power is possible! And now you're gonna accept the prize for the new batteries? Why should a Yahoo like you go when there is a Houyhnhnm like me available?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...whoa. You might rip a stitch shouting like that J-Dawg. The Collective is just worried about your health, they don't want you traveling to Europe when considering all the cybernetics you just had installed. Also, whoa."
"I feel fine! I don't need any special treatment just because some some nimrod decided hit-and-run was a good way to join the Collective!"
"Oh, I didn't know they had tracked him down yet."
"Yea, tried to claim his car had been stolen yet it was miraculously back in his garage when the police showed up to question him. And stop it. No changing the subject! Why should you be the one to accept the Nobel Prize?"
"Weeeeeeeell maybe, just maybe, its because people like me?"
"Huh? What does that have to do with anything?" Jeff asked with genuine puzzlement.
"I watched the video of your acceptance speech. Didn't you tell all the Collective haters that their heads were so small they were responsible for the Hindenburg exploding incident?"
"I told the Collective skeptics that their brains were so small they were covered by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle." Jeff said as he rolled his eyes. Thurgood couldn't get anything right.
"Yea that. I don't really understand what that means, but I'm pretty sure it was an insult. Now normally, the Collective doesn't really care when you yell at people. But the Nobel Prizes are kinda a big deal, lots of people pay attention to them. I think they want some good press instead of...stand up comedy."
"Hey, three of my press conferences are in the top ten most viewed videos on Youtube! People love me!"
"People like to watch you shout at reporters and put them in their place. No one likes reporters anymore Jeff. You aren't yelling at reporters during an acceptance speech, you're yelling at everyone who happens to be watching."
Jeff opened and closed his mouth several times before finally deciding what to say. "You know Thurgood, talking to you often makes my brain cells scream in protest at the utter lack of logic in whatever conversation is about. This is one of those rare occasions when talking to you reminds me that you're actually good at your job."
"After the Collective hired me, the dust bunnies that live in my closet made me read up on marketing and public speaking, they wouldn't let me sleep until I proved I could remember what I read. It was hard...hmmm, I haven't seen them since I kicked my Vicodin habit now that I think about it, I hope they're OK. They were harsh taskmasters but they made some really amazing pot roast.
"And we're back to the yelling inside my head."
Humanity Front Rally, Washington DC March 13, 2060 AD
Edward "Ned" Ludlam checked to make sure his suit was on straight before climbing the stairs up onstage and walking to the podium. The large crowd assembled at the Mall immediately erupted in shouts and applause. Ned motioned for silence as he got out his note cards. He never liked public speaking and wished he didn't have to do this, but when God calls you for something, you had best answer. Ned had been chosen to drive the cybernetic abominations out of America, he had to expose the truth. The drones weren't human anymore, they gave that up when they joined and now people were being forcibly turned into drones, sure they were violent criminals, but it was only a small step from that for the Collective to start assimilating whoever they wanted.
With a deep breath, Ned began his speech, "My fellow humans, I come before you today as I was when I exited my mother's womb, which is to say: normal. For to willingly hack off perfectly good gifts from the Lord to replace them with the machines of man is unnatural. It would be bad enough if the drones stopped at that, but NO! Now they are forcing people into their Collective, with our government's permission I might add! Some politicians have attempted to pass laws limiting cybernetic implants, but they are clearly the minority if the government is now allowing its own citizens to be turned into cyborgs! This is not a problem you can turn a blind eye to-one to be solved by small concessions. For us, it is a problem of whether our nation can ever recover its health, whether the Borg consciousness can ever really be eradicated. Don't be misled into thinking you can fight a disease without killing the carrier, without destroying the bacillus. Don't think you can fight racial tuberculosis without taking care to rid the nation of the carrier of that racial tuberculosis. This Borg contamination will not subside, this poisoning of the nation will not end, until the carrier themselves, the Borg, have been banished from our midst!"
Normally, Ned wouldn't open a speech with such forceful statements (better to save them for the end), but considering how Humanity Front made any real progress lately, he needed to properly motivate his followers. They needed to understand how important it was that the Collective be shut down.
"It is true that the Collective has made impressive discoveries since its inception. There is no denying that, but who is to say only the Collective could do it? Certainly not I. It was unaltered humans that created the Collective, they did suddenly appear from the ether. Anything they create, Humans can create. So if we can do anything they can, do we even need them? The answer to that is a profound NO! No, we do not need drones. So if we do not need them, why do we tolerate them? It is because we lack the will to do anything. Some people fear them for their emotionless alien-ness, some people want the fake immortality, others are simply apathetic with sin. I am here to tell you, if you accept God's judgement, you will have the determination to purge these heathens from our country!"
A roar arose from the crowd at Ned's words. They were almost intoxicated with the emotion from his speech, hanging on his every word. Ned wondered if this was how Martin Luther King felt during his "I Had A Dream" speech. He was sure to go down in history today, the day when the people of America had enough of being slaves to the godless drones that controlled society.
"You may ask yourself 'what can I do?' so allow me to answer that. Join me in prayer. Once it is done, we shall march to the White House and demand change. The Collective has been secretly controlling the military with their stranglehold of new technology. That is why the government will never do anything against them. Once we storm the seat of the government, they will be forced to listen to us. We shall change this nation, we shall change the world!"
Author's Note: I was kinda disappointed that no one caught onto the various references I included in the last chapter (or at least no one mentioned them).
I wanted to say thank you to the several reviewers who have given me ideas which will show up at various points throughout the story. Particularly yog, who has been extremely helpful pointing me towards useful sciencey stuff.