Any advice, praise or even flames are greatly appreciated.

Playlist: Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory and Save Me by Unwritten Law

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The cold, fresh air outside was like a godsend after spending two hours in our first class. We had hunted only hours before but the fire in our throats held a strong presence. I looked over at my sister and saw that she was staring into the sky, as she often did. The sky was a blend of dark and light gray swirls, eerily beautiful, kind of like us. Clouds where once ranked high on my list of unpleasant things but that all changed when I left Arizona and moved to forks, they had meant that I was free to see him. Now that I was immortal the clouds where and even bigger source of freedom. They where a security blanket of sorts, when they where around I was protected. With them I had the freedom to roam around as if I was normal, as if I was human.

I turned and watched Aislinn for a moment before speaking. "Well what do you want to do? We have 3 hours until our next class. Do you need to hunt?"

She looked over to me and said "No, I don't think I do. Do you?"

"Nope, my throat burned a little but it was very manageable and I'm sure it'll be easier next class. I'm actually still full from this morning."

She looked back up at the sky as she spoke now "Do you think you could go with me to church? You don't have to do anything; you could wait outside or something."

Ah, I get it now. Aislinn had always been religious when she was human, a devout Catholic. Now she spent most of her time wondering about her beliefs and looking into the sky. Sometimes I felt like she was searching the sky for answers, like if there was a God she should be able to see it now with her enhanced vision. The closest I ever became to being religious was saying "thank God" after I managed so trip and not end up in the hospital. Now because of my Irish sister I found the topic running through my mind more frequently. Was there a place that you go when you die? If there is, can immortals go there as well? I'm not sure I ever wanted to figure out the answer.

"Sure, I'll go with you but I'm not sure I want to participate." I finally told her after a few minutes of being absorbed by my thoughts.

"I just want to go say a prayer for my family."

"Don't mention anything about me in that prayer. If there is a God I don't know if it wants our kind around and will be dammed, excuse the pun, if I'm going to be the one to piss him off."

"What do you mean?"The look on her face was a mix between curiosity, hurt and understanding.

"Well God created people according to those that believe in it, right? Well vampires feast on people, or at least they are supposed to. I find it hard to believe that God would appreciate vampires, who kill what he has created, asking him for favors and safety. Now that I said that I'm not even sure if it makes sense."

It took a minute for her to respond. I could almost see my words sinking into her. "Oh. Well the way I see it is that we still are people. I mean we still have our conscience, mind and soul. That has to count for something."

I wish that I could be as sure as her.

"Because of Jesus our sins are supposed to be forgiven. What have we done wrong though? We have fought against our instincts to keep from killing humans and it isn't like we chose this life. It was forced upon us and we have done everything in our power to make sure that we don't turn into the monsters we are supposed to be. I think God would look at you and me and be happy. We've chosen to keep the parts of us that he created."

"What about me though. You know that I had chosen this fate, I wanted it ever since I knew what Edward was." Speaking his name out loud hurt more than I thought it would. "Sure, after he left I didn't want it anymore." What would be the point of existing forever if it would only mean that I would spend eternity in misery? I thought but didn't say out loud. I didn't need her worrying more than she needed to. "When Tallis changed us I didn't want to be immortal, I would rather have had him kill me but I wanted it at one point and isn't that as bad as it would be to ask him to change me?"

She looked at me like she was deeply concerned but at the same time thought I was an idiot.

"Bella…" When she was concerned her soft Irish accent was more noticeable. "Just because you wanted it once doesn't mean that if it happens it is your fault or that you are going to be held responsible for it. Even if you had asked him or anyone else to do it you would still be good. No God could deny the goodness in your soul, Bella. I know that the world has been cruel to you, and that your faith in almost everything has suffered because of it, but if you are going to believe anything I ever say make it that. You are good Bella and souls like yours won't be thrown away into the depths of Hell. I'm aware that you don't know if there is a Heaven and Hell but I just remember that if there is you will be going to Heaven. You don't see yourself clearly Bella."

"I don't even know what to say to that." I admitted. Aislinn was indeed a saint, sent from some kind of Heaven to make my life better in every way but one. She thought so highly of me and I never understood why.

She took my hand and led me away toward the huge stone building I had never imagined going in. She paused at the entrance, gave me an encouraging look and led me in to the near empty cathedral. I felt like I was trespassing, like this beautiful and grand stone building was something forbidden to me. Not because I wasn't a believer but because of what I was. Everything I saw was intimidating, the high ceilings, the huge stone columns and the intricate statues. Worst of all was the stained glass windows; they scared me like nothing else could. They were so beautiful they looked almost real and I could have sworn that they knew what I was. I walked over next to where a few rays of sunshine were being filtered through the vibrant colors of a window depicting the Virgin Mary holding Jesus. I was captivated by it and slowly lifted my hand toward the rays so that the deep blue of her dress was shining upon my hand. The way that the color laid it's self on my skin combined with the diamond like gleams that where the tell-tale signs of my kind was like nothing that I had ever seen. It was certainly nothing that could be replicated.

Fear washed over me and the sense that I should not be here got stronger. I quickly pulled my hand out of the sun, turned around and walked at a very brisk human pace out of the building, ran back to the parking lot of the school, got in my car and drove home. When I turned onto our driveway and saw the glimpses of my beautiful white house through the trees I was instantly calm; this was my sanctuary and nothing could harm me here. As I made my way into the house the full force of what I had done finally hit me. My completely stupid stunt of sticking my hand in direct sunlight had lasted less than a second and I was sure none of the few humans that were in the monstrous cathedral had seen it but what about Aislinn? I was almost sure that she saw it. I hope she didn't worry. I grabbed my phone and sent her a message.

Sorry. I'm fine and at home. I'll meet you at class and explain later. Don't worry.

-Love B

I put my head phones in, turned on my iPod, and drowned my thoughts with music. I laid on my bed and pulled the dark gray covers over my head. I wasn't physically tired, I could never be that, but I was emotionally drained. The day wasn't even half over but it seemed like a week had passed to me. Maybe going to school was a mistake? No, I wanted to go to school but maybe it was just too soon? I've only been a vampire a little over a year; maybe I wasn't ready after all. I had to do this for Charlie though. I don't want his life to be affected by what happened to me, I want him to have as many memories of me as he can before I have to leave him forever.

Eventually I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I had 20 minutes before class started. It was times like these when I was grateful that my truck had finally died a few months ago. I could have never driven anything else as long as that old thing still moved. Once it died I finally decided to indulge a little and I bought myself 2 cars. I guess being a vampire had changed me in more ways than one. I bought a black Lamborghini Murcielago that I rarely drove. It brought too much attention and I only used it when I was going where nobody knew me. My everyday car was an Black Audi A6 that I loved. I hopped in it and took off toward school. I got there with a few minutes to spare and made my way to my second class.

Aislinn was there waiting and had a worried as well as pissed off expression.

"I'm sorry but I'm ok now, I promise." I said to her as I held out my hand.

She touched it for a second then looked back at me with a curious look on her face and then spoke. "Sometimes I wish I could do more than just see what you've seen. It would be nice to know what you where thinking along with those images and experiences."

"You know me well enough to be able to guess what I was thinking and feeling. Even if your powers made you able to know those aspects of a person's memory you still wouldn't be able to do that with me."

She just sighed and we made our way to the back of the class and took our seats. Hopefully the rest of the day would be uneventful; I've had enough stress today to last me a lifetime.

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Sorry this chapter came out really religious. I'm not really religious at all so I was surprised that it went in this direction but I only have a loose outline for this story. I know what the major events are in my head but I just let each chapter kind of come out however it wants to. Religion won't be a big theme in the whole story but it is a big part of what Aislinn is so I suppose it is somewhat important. Feel free to ask me any questions.