Sorry for taking extra long with this chapter. I re-wrote it about 10 times because I had writers block and never thought it was good enough. I still don't know if it's good enough but it'll do I suppose. I didn't respond to every review because I haven't had much time but if you have a specific question I will always take the time to write back. Hopefully I have time this week to respond to any reviews you might leave for this chapter. A lot of you have been asking if Edward will be in this story and yes, he will be in it eventually. Hold tight for that. :)
Playlist: Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon and Audience of One by Rise Against
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"Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays," that annoying waiter from Office Space said on the TV. Aislinn and I were watching one of our favorite movies because we felt exactly like Peter Gibbons. Mondays suck, even for Vampires. College was better than High School but only marginally, and I wasn't lucky enough to be able to touch someone from class and see what exactly had been taught while we were gone like Aislinn. No, let me correct that, I wasn't lucky at all. Mr. Weidman had given us our semester project that was due in two months. Two perfect and complete stories that had to total no less than 150,000 words combined. Every heart beat in the class, except for Mr. Weidman, got louder and faster. It was torture. The worry of how tough of a grader Mr. Weidman is, was small in comparison to the worry that I might kill someone in my class. I was that glad my luck wasn't so bad that someone got a paper cut or something tragic like that.
"I think that if anyone ever tells me that I have the Mondays I might just forget about being a good vampire and rip out their throat right there," Aislinn said.
I laughed and I was joined by Jake, who was in coming through the front door.
"Wow Jake, you were gone a whole hour. That has to be some kind of record," I joked. He hadn't left Aislinn's side for more than a bathroom break or shower since he first saw her.
"Funny, funny Bells," he replied while jumping on the couch between Aislinn and I.
Then it happened, what we were all waiting for…my phone rang and it was Brendan. My dead heart quickened the pace of its imaginary beating. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.
"Hey Brendan, w-what's up?" I stuttered.
"Hi, Bella. I'm so glad it's you answering and not someone else, I've been so worried about you. I'm so sorry about your Dad." His voice was full of relief.
"I'm sorry for worrying you I just didn't really have the strength to talk to anyone and I was trying to distract myself."
"No, its fine no need to apologize. How are you holding up?"
"I'm doing a lot better. My friends have really been helping me out and after today I'm up to my neck in makeup work."
"Sounds like fun. Do you think you might have some time to hang out?"
"Sure, today?" I asked. I could have said that I was busy but why fight Alice's vision?
"Yeah, today is great. Can I pick you up at 4?"
"That sounds good. I'll see you then, bye."
"Bye, Bella."
Right now would be a good time to have Jasper around, I would give anything get rid of the nervousness. But Jasper, Alice and Emmett are half way to Alaska at the moment so I'm on my own.
"What did lover boy say?" Jacob said and threw me a smirk.
I threw my phone and hit him in the head.
"Ow, Bells. You never used to be violent," he whined while Aislinn laughed.
"Wiped that stupid smirk off of your face didn't I? I don't know what you mean by lover boy, he's a good friend just like you."
"Yeah sur-" he started to joke again but I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and started tossing up like I was about to throw it.
"Oh, Jake… please continue. I'd absolutely love to hear whatever it is that you have to say," I said in a mock 'Aro' voice. Aislinn laughed, Jake's face turned white. "Oh Jake I'm just kidding don't be such a baby, or a puppy I guess."
"You only think it's funny because nothing would happen to you if I threw a knife at you."
"You would only be hurt for five minutes, tops," I scoffed while placing the knife back in its original place.
"So what did Brendan say?" Aislinn asked.
"He's picking me up in an hour. I'm going to hunt," I said before turning and walking out the door. I ignored what Aislinn was whispering to Jake and started to run when I reached the trees. My hunt was going smoothly, much to my dismay and I had already snagged three deer within half an hour. I groaned in frustration. I wanted to keep myself busy until the very last second and not let my curiosity consume me. I hated doing it but I played a bit with the next deer, chasing it, partnering it in the perilous dance that is hunting. By the time I was finished with that I had ten minutes until Brendan would be at my house. I ran back to find Aislinn and Jacob playing poker. Jake's back was to me and I looked at his cards before gliding over to Aislinn and giving her a peck on the cheek.
"I'm going to change," I said to her and she winked at me.
I ran upstairs and could hear their conversation as I looked through my clothes.
"You're bluffing," Aislinn said coldly. I smiled at her words while I picked out my favorite long tight gray sweater and black leggings.
Jacob gulped. "No I'm not."
"Then you won't mind if I raise?"
There was a moment of tension before Jake finally spoke, "Fine, I fold," he groaned. "How did you know I was bluffing?" She giggled, unable to speak.
"Vampire's intuition," I said while walking down the stairs with my black pea coat, brown Ugg boots , socks and deep blue scarf in hand.
"Oh, you cheated!" he yelled at me and then turned to Aislinn who was now giggling uncontrollably. She looked so funny that Jake and I both started to laugh.
"It's not cheating, it's just using our abilities to our advantage," I said. Jake rolled his eyes. Then I heard a car turn onto the long drive that leads to our house.
I threw on my clothes quickly before grabbing my purse and pulling my black gloves out of it.
"Why are you dressed so warm, Bells? Doesn't the cold not have an effect on you?"
"Because it is going to be very cold tonight and possibly snow and we have to keep up appearances. It would very in-human for us to dress in shorts and tank tops in the cold," I said with my best 'duh' voice.
"Well pardon me for not knowing the ins and outs of leech culture," he snapped at me.
"What the hell did you just say?" Aislinn screamed while standing up, knocking the table over in the process.
"Babe, I didn't mean it like that-" he stared to say but Aislinn ran out the back door before he could finish.
"Way to go Jake. Next time you try to insult me make sure that it isn't insulting the girl you like as well," I scolded him, he growled and started shaking. "Don't phase in my house, out the back you go and leave Aislinn alone, she'll find you when she wants to talk." Jake ran out the back and phased halfway out the door while Brenda arrived at the front. Today is just going great!
I opened the door and immediately my bad mood was gone, Brendan had that effect on me.
"Hey," I said sweetly as he hugged me.
"Bella… You are such a fair beauty, absolutely flawless," he whispered before releasing me.
If I could have blushed I would have looked like a tomato. "Thanks, you look pretty good yourself," I said while shyly looking at the floor. I wasn't lying; he did look good…beyond good, actually. Wait, what? I haven't felt shy around a guy since…oh no. Surely I couldn't start liking Brendan; I've never come close to feeling anything like that since Edward. You're just over thinking, Bella. Chill out, he's just your friend. Remember he's here to confront you about the horrible creature that you are.
"So how is your day going so far?" he asked as we walked down the steps to his car.
I studied his face for a moment, looking for any signs of hesitation or fear towards me, anything that would clue me in that he knew what I was. I didn't find anything.
"My day had been going pretty horribly until you showed up."
"What happened? Are you alright?" he asked while opening up the passenger side door of his car for me.
I waited until he got in his side of the car and started driving before answering. "Yeah I'm alright, nothing I won't live through," Ha, Ha! "It's just, well school was…trying, and then there was some drama between my friends."
"So you're just having one of those days where you have to try your hardest not to kill someone?"
If this was a movie, at that line I surely would have been drinking something and done a spit-take. Did he really just say that? I couldn't help but laugh. If he didn't have to keep looking at the road I'm sure he would have looked at me like I was insane.
"Yes, I suppose you could say that," I said after controlling my laughter, "I think Aislinn is having more trouble with that at the moment though."
"What happened with her? Do you want me to take you back to your house so you can be with her?"
"No, she's fine. She just got in a fight with Jake and she took off. He's such an idiot."
"Jake… as in your best friend Jake?"
"Yes, they're dating and it's been weird. It was kind of like a love at first sight thing for him and she felt like she knew him from all of my stories, so she decided to give it a chance. I doubt that she'll even talk to him now. I probably won't talk to him for a while myself."
"Oh man, what did he do?"
"He has a short temper and insulted me. The problem is not only did his insult apply to me; it applied to Aislinn as well. So even though he meant it towards me, it really was towards her too. So Aislinn is mad that he insulted her and she is mad that he insulted me."
"Well maybe I should have a talk with him," he said through clenched teeth. How sweet, the human is protective of the vampire. Does he know that he should really be afraid of me? I can't imagine that he would be here if he knew what I was, but what else could Alice be talking about?
"You're very endearing when you are mad," I laughed.
He smiled, "well Jacob won't be thinking that, I promise."
"It's sweet of you to be protective but I'm sure Aislinn has already kicked the crap out of him for you. I should probably check up on her just in case," I said while pulling my phone out of my purse.
If you need anything just call. I told him to leave you alone so you should be able to go home without him annoying you. Love you- Bella
I sent the text and then shifted my focus onto Brendan.
"It's really good to see you. I hadn't realized how much I missed you," I admitted.
He smiled a huge, beautiful smile but kept his eyes on the road. "I missed you too, more than you could know."
I smiled in response, despite how confused I was about my feelings toward Brendan. I couldn't deny that I was starting to like him and maybe he feels the sameway, but that is just wrong. It just wouldn't be fair to him; he would always be in danger and I would never be able to give him my whole heart. Regardless of how angry I will always be with Edward he still carries around a piece of my heart that I will never be able to get back. What are you thinking, Bella? Brendan doesn't even like you! He's going to ask you about what you are today and if you tell him, he's going to run away screaming.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Brendan pulling into a gravel parking lot in what seemed like an industrial part of the city. Brendan got out of the car and offered his hand to me as I got out. We walked, hand in hand through the gravel onto a cement sidewalk where a sign simply said 'TRAIL'. I could see that the trail led down a couple hundred feet to a beach and the Willamette River. Across from the river there were more industrial buildings but behind those were the rolling green hills of Forest Park. I heard sounds of boats in a shipyard coming down from the North West as well as the sounds of trains coming the East.
"Where are we exactly?" I asked Brendan as we made our way through the driftwood that was scattered on the beach and sat on a log.
"This is Swan Island. It's one of my favorite places to go, not many people know there is actually a trail here, I think it's one of the best places in Portland. The industrial buildings are kind of cold and dead by themselves but they are softened by the beauty of nature…they complement each other perfectly. It reminds me of man's greatest struggle, to balance out the good and bad within ourselves."
"Oh what a struggle it is," I agreed. "This place is really beautiful though, I can see why you love it." The clouds were still covering the sun but I could tell the sun would set soon and it would most likely come out from the clouds soon. We have to leave before that happens.
"Bella, there is something I need to talk to you about," he spoke, his voice shaky and nervous.
Does he think that I'll kill him if I know that he knows? My cold heart trembled in a failed attempt to beat faster. "What is it?" I whispered while turning my body towards him and grabbing his hand, comforting him like he did for me when Alice showed up.
"I know… I know that maybe I'm the biggest idiot alive for doing this but I just have to let you know. I've completely fallen in love with you. I'm well aware of the fact that you don't see me like that and your heart is still wounded from the past. I don't expect anything from you but friendship; well I don't even expect that really. I'm happy to be in your life no matter what my title is but I thought it was only fair to let you know how I feel, so that if one day, by the grace of God and all things Holy, you ever felt anything for me you would know I feel the same way." His eyes met mine and they were filled with raw emotion, like he wanted me to see all the way into his soul to show me how deeply he felt.
So this is what Alice was talking about? Choosing whether or not I want to give Brendan a chance? I don't understand why she would care if I move on. Oh. I guess she was saying that it wouldn't matter to her if I forgot about Edward, in case I cared about what she thought about it. Well thanks Alice; it's nice to know you won't hate me for moving on after your brother broke my heart into a million pieces.
I took a deep breath, I liked Brendan… I liked him enough to keep him from entering my world. "Brendan, I'm not good for you. There are things about me that are different and dangerous; I can't even tell you what those things are either. My life has so many secrets, I could never be completely honest with you and I can't do that to you."
"Bella that's fine with me. I don't care what secrets you have, I don't care how dangerous or different you are. I love you for you. I'll accept any challenges you come with."
"Even though one of those challenges is an incomplete heart? How can you want to be with someone who can't give you all of their love? I couldn't only offer you a piece of my heart when some girl out there could give you all of hers."
"This is a quality not quantity thing. I'd take the littlest piece of your heart over anyone else's whole heart. Why don't you put my feelings and my safety aside for a moment and tell me how you feel."
Tell him how you feel… how do I feel? "You're the only person I've ever really liked besides Edward but in my heart I still love him. I can't let my feelings for you grow; it's not right for you. I just can't do that to you." The sun was beginning to set and I knew my words were true. If I allowed myself to give Brendan a chance he would end up being hurt. Either by me not being able to give up Edward, which I still don't believe I will ever be able to do, or I would hurt him physically. He had to know that this couldn't work; I had to show him I was different.
"Just… look," I whispered as the sun came under the clouds and its rays slowly illuminated my diamond-like skin. The light fragments reflected off of my body and caused the beach, along with the water to sparkle. I shifted my gaze to meet Brendan's eyes. They mirrored my glittering complexion and also showed his shock. Here comes the running and screaming part…
I tore my gaze away from his eyes and focused on the rock and driftwood littered beach. "I told you I'm not right for you. I'm different, I'm dangerous. I can't be with you for those reasons and the fact that I can't ever love you like I loved him."
"Bella, you're beautiful. The single most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
He seemed surprised that I sparkle but not entirely. "Do you know what I am?" I whispered. Could he know? There is no way.
"Yes… I know that you're Isabella Swan and you're the most fascinating, caring and beautiful person I have ever met. I also know that it doesn't matter to me what you are."
"Even if I'm a monster?" I said coldly.
"Bella, monsters don't exist and even if they did you would not be one of them."
So he doesn't know what I am, but he isn't entirely shocked that I sparkle. He doesn't care that I keep telling him that I'm dangerous and he doesn't care that deep down inside of me I still love Edward. Now I understand why everyone thought I had no will to live. I must have sounded as crazy as he does.
"Brendan I can't be anything more than your friend. I'm sorry."
He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Bella, Bella, Bella… being your friend is more than enough for me. I just had to tell you. I'm sorry if I made it awkward."
"You didn't make anything awkward… that was all my doing."
"So you sparkle, big deal," he shrugged.
I laughed out of bewilderment and gave him an incredulous look. "Did you really just shrug at the fact that your friend sparkles? I thought I was the weird one."
"Hey, why can't diamonds be a guy's best friend too?"
We both laughed at that and our light mood carried on the whole drive back.
"What are you doing on Saturday?" he asked when he pulled up to the house.
"Aislinn and I are leaving to Italy Friday night."
"Halloween in Italy huh?"
"Yeah I guess so. What are you doing?" Halloween in Volterra would definitely be scary if I was human.
"Family party, yay," he said sarcastically. "Can we hang out again before you leave?"
"Of course."
I said good bye to Brendan and was greeted by Aislinn sitting on the couch, watching The Notebook with countless different tubs of ice cream in front of her.
"Why did you buy ice cream?" I asked while sitting down on the couch next to her.
"I wanted to do the normal girl break up thing. I tried every kind of ice cream they had at the store to see if I would like any."
I stared at her for a moment, expecting her to continue, she didn't. "Well did you like any of them?"
"Oh no, and I had a horrible time coughing it all up."
"Nice." Thanks for the mental image. "So what happened between you and Jake?"
"Everywhere I ran he would follow me. He kept saying that something could happen to me and I said 'Earth to Jacob, I'm technically dead'. Well he didn't like that, he lost his temper and I told him to go home and if I ever wanted to talk to him I would find him but that I don't ever want to see him around here uninvited."
"Well that complicates things. Did you tell him about Italy?"
"Not a chance! He'd stowaway in my luggage!" she scoffed. "So what happened between you and Brendan?"
"Can't you just touch me and see for yourself."
"No, I'm trying to do the whole girl-talk thing," she said in her 'duh' voice.
I rolled my eyes. "You should know by now how anti girl-talk I am."
She looked at me expectantly. "Bella…"
"Aislinn…" I gave her a devious smile.
"Don't you dare-" she started to say but it was too late. I had already jumped on her and grabbed her face in my hands, forcing her to see my memories. Once I was sure she knew what happened I let her up.
"You're a brat," she said, feigning annoyance. "Why do you think he didn't freak out about you sparkling?"
"My guess is that he is the most understanding and non judgmental person ever or he has seen a vampire before."
"But he doesn't know that you sparkle because you are a vampire…"
"Nope."
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Well, I hope that wasn't too horrible.
A little FYI- Swan Island is a real place in Portland, the path they walked on is actually there too. If you go on Google earth you can find it. :)
As always I would like to thank my awesome reviewers: Bleached Kitty, Runs With Horses, Kenai52503, Spider-Hand, Renom, Yana5, eclipsedbrunette, MoonstruckManda, Starlit Tiger, omg444888, theladykae, bunny-trail, Forever-Twilighted, W||V, DaniLUVyou as well as everyone who read, alerted and added.
On an unrelated note I have a new idea for a story. It's going to combine one of my other favorite books with Twilight and I'm super excited about it. I'm probably going to wait until this one is almost done though because I don't want to lose focus on either story. It's a secret what it is about for now but I promise it will be original and way better than this story because this one was merely for practice. :)
Next chapter won't take a week I promise!