STA: I mentioned this elsewhere, but forgot to bring it up here. For reasons, I'm trying to rush to chapter 30, so update speed as gone up for about a week. (Not a week from now. We're in the middle of the week.) The next chapter should be up by Monday at the latest, but after that I'm going back to just making sure I get something every two weeks or so until I've written the ending.
-x-
Natsu didn't even try and ask to go to the guild. It wasn't that he doubted that Laxus would take him. It was that everything that man did was so blasted awkward. In a fight, Laxus always came off cool and collected. In the home environment, trying to look after a sick guild mate, whatever it was that gave Laxus that air in battle made him fumble. Not a single conversation had passed between the two of them without Natsu feeling as uncomfortable as Laxus looked, and the more than happened, the less willing Natsu was to start a conversation at all.
His first morning with Laxus, Natsu didn't even call down the stairs for help, nor did he feel it was worth the effort to wipe himself out going down on his own. After he'd been up for a few hours, watching from the window as people on the street bellow went about their day, Laxus came up with a plate of the previous night's leftovers and a cup of Natsu's tea. This lead to an awkward conversation over how Laxus was making sure not to miss any of Natsu's care regiment, and Natsu didn't have the heart to point out that the pill he was supposed to have with breakfast had been forgotten. Then Laxus insisted on hovering in the door and watching Natsu eat—apparently recalling Gray's account of Natsu trying to sneakily snub his tea—which made the entire act of eating awkward.
It was Natsu's hope that Laxus would leave for the guild, and that Happy could then carry him to some nearby resting place outside where he could at least chat with the general townspeople. He'd never been super close to anyone outside of Magnolia, but they'd all known him, and occasionally there was someone interested in how he was doing.
No dice. While it was probably a good thing that Laxus opted to stay at home when Natsu insisted he didn't feel like going anywhere, Natsu hadn't wanted to go anywhere because it meant having Laxus around.
"Lucy can't get back soon enough," Natsu muttered after Laxus left to go and wash his lunch dishes.
"What if they let you go back with Gray?" Happy asked.
"Not likely." Gray left him with someone untrusted for days while he hung around Magnolia and took some time for himself. Whatever else people had complained about to Makarov, that was something Natsu didn't doubt, and it was a pretty major problem. Not to mention what it said about Gray's views on the issue that he would do such a thing. "I don't think he'll put up much of a fight to get me back anyway."
"Gray's a friend."
"Who got fed up with doubling as my nanny."
Wouldn't it be awful if the same thing happened with Lucy? Maybe he'd steadily go through all the guild mates he was close to and end up in some old folks home at the age of twenty just like Laxus had proposed, except with all his friends so burnt out from trying to take care of him that no one ever came to visit.
Happy wasn't privy to Natsu's thoughts, but seeing his companion's expression shift to one of horror, put a hand on Natsu's and said, "Gray's a friend. He wouldn't give up on you completely."
"No. But I'm sure he'd like a break from me."
"That's not true."
"Watch him not come by to make sure Laxus knows what he's doing."
"He will."
"Watch."
-o-
"It would be for the best if you gave it a few days before going to see Natsu. He needs some time to adjust to this latest change."
"Are you kidding me? You don't even trust me to say hi to him?" Gray demanded. "I explained everything. Natsu was fine with me. Why can't I even see him?"
"So he and Laxus can become comfortable with one another."
"Who cares. Lucy's going to get back before that happens."
He was right, but Makarov couldn't say as much and still tell Gray to keep away. "Don't argue with me," he said instead.
"But you're being ridiculous. And I told you, whatever anyone said about the way Natsu's been acting lately—"
"I'll take that into account, but it doesn't explain some major oversights that have been brought to my attention."
Gray paused. There was more that people complained about him doing? What else had he done to make them concerned? Lucy was the one who arranged for Natsu to sneak off with Sting and everyone who knew Natsu left town knew that, so they wouldn't have reported to Makarov when Gray came back and had no idea where Natsu was until Lucy came home. Did someone think it was wrong that he always made Natsu take his medicine? That was his medicine. Of course he needed to take it. What if someone had completely made up an accusation against him? Would anyone do that? If they thought he was trouble for other reasons, he could see a guild mate fabricating a more extreme accusation to get Natsu into 'better' hands.
"What exactly would that be?" Gray asked. "I can't defend myself over accusations I don't know were made."
"You kids get into enough fights without me adding fuel to the fire. I'm not going to tell you what was said and let you trace it back to the source. Never mind that I'm already over budget this month for replacing furniture. I don't want anyone else thinking there might be repercussions on their part for notifying me if they see something worrisome."
"Okay. Now suppose I promise to only use this information to explain how whatever they think happened isn't the case and didn't confront anyone about what I think they said."
Had the person who reported Gray's alleged neglect been anyone other than Natsu, Makarov might have allowed this. While he had his moments, Gray was by and large good at keeping himself from reacting entirely based on emotion. Since it had been Natsu who complained that Gray left him somewhere questionable for days without so much as a word, Makarov saw no point. Natsu had a better idea than anyone else of what Gray did to Natsu, and the only reason he might make up an incident was if he wanted to get away from Gray, a change which he'd resisted when Makarov insisted upon it. Besides, good at acting on more than just emotions or not, if Gray was guilty of neglect, it was never a good idea to let an abuser know that the person they'd abused was the one to report them.
"My decision on this final, Gray.
-o-
"Told you he wouldn't come."
Happy had no good counter for that. Gray didn't come, there was no denying that. Instead of trying to pretend otherwise, Happy flew up into Natsu's lap and placed a paw on his shoulder.
"We'll ask next time we see him."
"Yeah. He was real forthcoming explaining the whole thing with Sting."
"Something had to have gone wrong," Happy insisted. "I can't believe Gray would chose not to at least make sure Laxus knew what he was doing. We're not that far from the guild. It doesn't make sense."
It made more sense leaving him with Laxus without making sure the arrangement worked than it did leaving him with Sting while being certain it wouldn't. Natsu's throat constricted as his mind fully settled on the idea that Gray was tired of helping him. He lost a friend because he was too much of a burden to help, and Gray couldn't keep up with it anymore. He should have just let them send him off to a home where people could visit often.
"Do you think I should turn down the offer if Lucy says it's cool for me to stay with her?"
"If?"
"She might not want me in her apartment indefinitely. It'll probably raise her rent."
"The guild would compensate her. They did for Gray, and he only had food expenses extra."
Natsu hadn't realized the guild was still handing out money for him. Even though, in the back of his mind, he knew that whatever Gray was paid wasn't as much as he made on jobs, it certainly made the act of taking care of him seem a lot more altruistic. Maybe Lucy already got money too, whenever Natsu was left with her while Gray worked. He wondered if she was paid for the time he was at Sting's.
Natsu almost suggested that he wanted to stay with Laxus. The awkwardness was borderline unbearable, but he knew for certain that Laxus took him in only because Makarov asked, and it wouldn't be as big a loss if Laxus were to grow fed up with him. He almost said it, except that he also knew Laxus agreed to look after him with the expectation that it would only be until Lucy returned. How would he explain his interest in staying somewhere he so clearly hated it?
"I hate this," Natsu said. "I hate this! This whole stupid mess! I hate Gray! I hate not being able to walk or run or do anything! I hate this stupid disease!"
"You okay?" Laxus shouted from downstairs.
'No,' Natsu tried to shout back, but the word caught in his throat, and what came out instead was a sob.
No, he wasn't okay. The life he'd wanted was gone forever, and he couldn't even live on his own anymore. The friend who he'd most come to rely on with his disease had abandoned him, and now he was certain it was only a matter of time before everyone else did. After all, if Gray, who'd been so dedicated to helping with his condition, could give up, then who was to say that no one else would.
Laxus reacted to hearing no response from Natsu by staying downstairs, which served Natsu just fine. Crying was embarrassing enough without someone hovering over him and making it awkward. He was fine with only Happy hugging him and saying that things would get better somehow. He would have preferred to have Gray there to offer consolidation too, but obviously that wasn't going to happen.
"Lucy isn't going to leave you too," Happy said, correctly guessing the fear that had been on Natsu's mind ever since he accepted that Gray no longer had it in him to be a caretaker.
Under normal circumstances, being told that whatever he was afraid of wasn't going to happen would be consoling. This time, it was the exact last thing Natsu needed to hear, as if having the fear vocalized made it a real thing. Unable to take it anymore, he threw his hands over his face and wailecd.
Gray didn't want him. He was such a burden that Gray no longer wanted him, and if Gray could give up on him, anyone could.
-x-
STA: Happy chapter is happy.
FranGipani6181: Sorry. I get kind of into it when I'm writing about people being upset. Actually, that memorabilia scene wasn't really planned. It just sorta... happened? I'm glad it came out alright.
Ryuu91: Well, there may be at least 90 other Ryuu's, but to me, you're one of a kind. After all, none of the others do your rabbit jump for my chapters XD
aNaughtyHero: If you make if far enough to read this reply, then I'm sure you've found out ;)