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Chapter Four- Uncomfortable Truths

Allen paced the room fretfully. He knew full well what Lanel had been hinting at, but stubbornly stuck to ignoring any possibility it could be the truth.

'I am an exorcist.'

'Only by chance.'

'But I have innocence. I can't be a Noah; innocence is like poison to them.'

'You are special; you have always known the standard rules don't apply to you.'

'It wouldn't explain everything that's being happening to me lately' he thought persistently. 'It's probably all the stress. Yeah, stress.'

He sensed the voice of his subconscious, who he was arguing so determinedly with, laughing softly. 'But what else can explain everything so perfectly?'

'So my innocence has become a bit more powerful lately. That could be for all sorts of reasons. It's hardly like I'd stay at the same synchronisation rate forever is it?'

'And the dreams? Not everyone's dreams come true you know. Ever thought that you could be making that happen?'

'Of course not. That would just be weird.'

His subconscious laughed outright this time. 'Yeah, weird. Like talking to voices in your head.'

'I'm not crazy!'

'I didn't say you were. Just weird.'

Allen rolled his eyes. "Maybe I am crazy" he said out loud.

'I don't think so.'

"Stop talking to me!" Allen snapped, forgetting that the voice was inside his head as he shouted at it angrily. He was glad he'd asked Lanel to leave; though he had a sneaking suspicion the angel was still watching him. He closed his eyes, and was immediately confronted with the image that he thought he had seen in mirrors every now and then. An Allen Walker with grey skin and black hair. He opened his eyes suddenly, but the image didn't disappear. With a jolt he realised he was facing the full length mirror sanding next the piano, and the Noah reflection was looking back at him, his face carefully blank. Then it waved at him. Allen stared at the reflection-but-not for a full minute before his eyes rolled back into his head and he hit the floor in a dead faint.

"His eyes just closed" noted Jim in surprise.

"What does that mean?" asked Lenalee in a whisper. "I mean, could it be an automatic thing or is Allen doing it?"

Komui, who had been in the middle of taking some notes laid down his clipboard and stared long and hard into space, while the exorcists sat with baited breath waiting for Komui to voice his thoughts. And waited. And waited. Eventually Lenalee lifted her brother's clipboard and brought it down on his head with a weighty smack.

"Uh, sorry." The supervisor rubbed his head, still looking a bit spaced out. "To be completely honest, I'm not sure what's going on, but all I can say is that it is at least a good sign- I mean, it shows something in there is working…"

Nobody looked too impressed with the scientist's conclusion. "Idiot supervisor, I could have guessed as much on my own" Kanda growled sullenly. Komui turned to him, his face serious. "Kanda, I know how you feel, but I can't stop assigning you missions just because Allen is in here. I've let you refuse two already, I simply cannot do it again. You'll have to go on the next suitable mission, if only to stop you from dwelling on the circumstances."

Kanda's already dark scowl deepened further. "I'm not leaving. What if something happens while I'm away? What if he wakes up?"

With a sigh Komui shook his head. "If that's what you're waiting for you might never go on another mission again." His words seemed unnecessarily harsh. "I'm sorry Kanda, but I can't let this continue." Komui stood and gathered his notes before heading to the door, pausing before he left the room. "I am sorry."

Once Komui had left they all sat in silence, each of them deep in their own thoughts. Eventually Lenalee spoke up, her tone heated and an angry passion burning in her eyes. "This all feels so wrong. We shouldn't be sitting around staring at him; we should be trying to find out what's going on with him!"

"I thought everything had been looked into by the science department?" asked Lavi, looking up from the book he had been reading throughout the visit.

"It's probably not something science can answer," suggested Jim sagely. "I mean it's hardly a scientific occurrence is it?"

"Nothing about this thing is scientific. Maybe they did miss something…"

"Jim, do you really think that this is something to do with that Noah you met?"

"I did at first, but now I'm not so sure. Something about that theory just doesn't sit right with me."

"So what else could it be?"

"What if we're looking in the wrong place," said Lavi suddenly, closing his book with a snap. "Something Allen did brought the Ark to us. Now Allen's like this. The Ark is obviously the link between the two." He frowned, thinking deeply as his complex mind sorted through the facts. "What if…" He bit his lip, worrying it gently as he turned over all the possibilities. "What if not all of Allen made it through the Ark? Something happened to him as we were being transported, and now he's like this…what if not all of him made it out of the Ark?"

"Urgh…" Allen put his hand to his throbbing head as he sat upright, the room spinning and lurching sickeningly. "What a horrible nightma…oh, damn."

The reflection was sitting patiently cross-legged on the floor, watching him with bright gold eyes. 'Do you feel better now?' He heard the voice, but the mouth of his reflection didn't move.

"Not really." This time, he saw the Noah's lips form the words. This was just getting out of hand. Allen realised (unwillingly it must be said) that what he had assumed was his subconscious mind conversing with him was actually the buried Noah. Hmm, crazy or a Noah…not sure which I'd rather it be… He continued to stared dumbfounded at this oddly reversed reflection of himself.

The Noah's black hair was slightly longer, slightly messier than Allen's snowy locks, his skin a soft grey colour, certainly not as dark as the complexions of the other Noah he had come into contact with, though it was still much darker than his own pallid skin tone. But the Noah's eyes, despite the fact that they shone gold instead of silver, still looked the same; they were definitely Allen Walker's eyes.

The Noah bore the scrutiny well, smiling softly.

"Who are you?" Allen asked, already knowing the answer.

'I am you. I am the half that you have denied for so long. I've been waiting for you to recognise me.'

Allen swallowed. "What will happen to me if I let you out? If I accept you?"

'Accept you, you mean. We are supposed to be one.' The Noah's smile grew.

"I can't be a Noah, Noah are evil. And I have innocence!"

NoahAllen sighed- he could see it in the way he changed positions in the mirror, though his face never moved. 'A Noah is only evil if they cannot control the memories forced upon them, though evil may not be the right word…'

"I think it is the right word!" Allen scoffed indignantly. "I've suffered enough at their hands to know." He paused. "So what makes me different?"

'I have always been with you. You have always had the memories of Noah within you, buried deep inside. You are different from the other Noah's- I will not override your personality, or your feelings, because they are already mine also. I have grown with you, shared your experiences.' The grin faded, and the reflection looked sombrely back at Allen. 'I am you.'

"Why have you never come forward before then?"

'I have.'

Cue whirring flashing lights and theme music- it's a rapid fire-flashback round!!

"Can we shut him up now? He's giving me a headache." Road gave him a swift kick in the ribs.

Immediately the noise ceased, and the two Noah looked down in surprise. A pair of greyish blue eyes glared back up at them, filled with rage.

"Um…Road?" Fran took a couple of steps back. "That's not supposed to happen, is it?"

"He…he…pulled himself out of my dimension!" Road was incensed. "It's impossible!"

A small, almost sadistic smirk played at his mouth, as though desperate to burst forth onto his pale features but knowing it had no place there.

"Is there something the matter, Francesca?" his voice was hoarse, gravely, a result of dehydration and the recent screaming it had been put through. It made the seemingly innocent sentence appear sinister.

She made a small snarling noise. "How did you do it?"

He cocked his head to one side; in what would have been a sweet, childlike gesture if it hadn't been for the scornful smirk that was still there. "Do what?"

"Break out of Road's dimension? You shouldn't have been able to do that. Nobody should be able to do that."

The smirk vanished, replaced by an expression of complete confusion. "I…I don't remember… I don't know…what happened…to me." His hands gripped his head. Or tried to. He nearly decapitated himself with his left hand. He blinked at the hand in bewilderment. "Wuh...when did I invocate? Why can't I remember? ARGH!" He dropped to his knees, his right fist pounding the floor.

"And you're dragging the Noah family's name through the dirt. I honestly expected more. Pitiful."

His eyes flashed suddenly, and his innocence flared into life again.

Fran didn't have time to pull back before a white gloved hand closed around her neck.

"Do you know what I was tortured with in that hell hole? I was trapped in Road's dimension and Francesca showed me what she thought would break me the most, the thing that finally made me snap and do THAT to her. I know what I did; I tore her apart with my bare hands! I ripped her to pieces and bathed in her blood!

"There's nothing you can do. In fact, there's nothing you will be doing again. Ever." He pressed his fingers deeper into her back. She hadn't even seen him move.

He ripped his steely talons through the Noah's heart, destroying it beyond all healing abilities.

Allen let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding. "That was you? All along, that was you? I thought I was going crazy!"

NoahAllen cocked his head to one side. 'It was not me, it was you. We are the same. I am your darker side, your base desires, but ultimately I want what you want. We are the same' he repeated earnestly, leaning forwards. 'I am the part of you that makes you able to control the Ark. Accept me fully and we will be unstoppable.

Allen shook his head. "How do I know I can trust you? How do I know any of this is the truth?"

'You do know. I know you do because I am you. Don't you see? I have always been part of you, helping from the sidelines, afraid what coming forward would mean, how you would react. You are a Noah Allen, perhaps the most powerful of all. You answer to no one; you follow your heart and act in favour of saving others. You are the Noah of Strength Allen, and once complete, you would be a force the Earl would truly fear.'

"Strength? Surely that can't be all that's needed to defeat the Earl?"

'It is not strength of body, but strength of spirit. The force of your unbreakable will is what will bring this war to an end.'

"So I hold the memories of Noah's Will? His strength of spirit?"

"Indeed."

"Will I join the Earl, if I accept you and become a Noah?"

'No, I am already part of you. Nothing about who you are will change; you will just finally be complete.'

"But if it was you that helped me kill those Noah, does that mean I wouldn't have done it alone?"

"You are over thinking this Allen Walker. Just accept your destiny, and become who you were meant to be."

"Lanel?"

"Yes, I am here."

"If I don't do this, do you know what will happen to me?"

"Eventually you will be lost. The Earl wishes to possess your power, and if you fight this change it will become your enemy and hand you over to him. Only by accepting the power of Noah's Strength can you master all the abilities. Do it not, and it will destroy you."

Allen sighed, running a hand through his hair. His reflection mirrored the motion perfectly. "It doesn't look like I have much choice, do I?"