A/N: Hello, everyone! I, um, haven't had any readers for this story, so, if you're reading this you're probably the first reader! *throws confetti in face* Anyway, this is just such a fun story to write, and I'm not giving up on it, because someday, someone might read this, and think, "What the crap was going on in this person's mind when they wrote this?" :) Okay, on with the story...

Disclaimer: I don't own Fifth Element or Alice in Wonderland 2010. There, part of my soul just died, happy?

Tarrant Hightopp

Tarrant Hightopp sat on his worn bench, bent over an intricate hat he was building. His carrot-orange hair sprung from every direction out of his head, and his emerald-green eyes were fixed on his work.

His clothes were worn and faded, and completely mismatching. He had a large black bowtie with mulit-colored spots covering it, and a sash that seemed to be made of thimbles. Protruding from his pockets were many different-colored ribbons and sashes.

The apartment around him was cluttered with dozens of lovely hats, each one beautiful and unique, and, of course, completely mad in theme.

The wallpaper was peeling off the walls in some spots, and multiple fading pictures were placed completely at random across the wall.

One particular picture showed a stern picture of a stiff woman with a sour frown. She had her lovely red hair done up in a nasty bun that didn't compliment her face at all.

Her green eyes, which should have been beautiful and cheerful, were permanently stuck in a mean glare.

But, the picture had a certain place of honor on the wall. (It should, because that woman was his mother.)

His bed was shoved into a corner, and the sheets were thrown somewhere underneath a pile of hats at one point.

There was a large window on the far wall, but it was almost completely blocked out by an enormous pile of hats, letting little-to-no light into the room.

The blessed silence in the room was interrupted when suddenly the pager on his comm chimed.

CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP

At the annoying chime, Tarrant set down his tools, and picked up the comm from the wall.

He fumbled with the small device in his bandaged hands for a few seconds, then tapped the answer button, and said in a slight lisp, "What is it?"

A smooth, deep voice rasped through the pager, "Tarrant, you haven't shown up for a meeting in weeks. The leaders are getting frustrated at you, they're even thinking about throwing you out of the group!"

Tarrant frowned, and said in a thoroughly concerned voice, "But, Chessur, I'm the best hatter of the group!"

Chessur said, "Well, what good is the best hatter if he never comes to any meetings?"

Tarrant nodded, and said, "Alright, I'll try to come to the meeting tonight."

Chessur said in a satisfied voice, "Alright. Five sharp."

Tarrant nodded. "Five sharp."

He put away the comm, then sat back down at his work table, and set back to work on the hat he was making.

It was light and blue, and had a very wide brim with lace wrapped around it. From the top of it, several beautiful swirling feathers were carefully placed. He didn't know who he was making it for, he just felt like, one day, it should go to someone special.

After a few hours, Tarrant flipped open his pocket-watch, and checked the Time.

"Oh no!" he yelled as he saw that Time had played another trick on him. The display read 4:49.

He pulled on his tattered overcoat as he ran to the door, pausing to put on his beloved hat, then ran out into the parking garage.

He fumbled for his keys for a second, then pressed the homing button.

A small motorcycle flew towards the dock, and Tarrant climbed onboard it, and flew out of the parking garage towards the meeting location.

A/N: I'm sorry this one was a little short. I tried to make it longer. Don't sue me.